by Carol deLaski | Aug 1, 2016 | Donna Kettell
Sometimes when I mention the word visualization, I hear people say, “Oh I don’t have time to do things like that, I am just too busy!” I definitely understand feeling busy, I often say that myself. However, I have come to realize that when I take even just a few moments each day to quiet my mind, create a clear positive intention for my day, and visualize that day unfolding the way I desire it to, I have seen that my busy, hectic, “way too much to do” kind of life seems to fall into place much more easily and effortlessly. Why is that? I believe it has to do with FOCUS!
In fact, “Focused” is my 2016 One Word. I have had a few recurring things on my to do list every new year for the past several years. So I decided that 2016 was going to be the year that I could put a big check mark next to at least one of those overwhelming goals – renovating! I had plans to renovate my kitchen, powder room and master bathroom. I had started thinking about the project in 2014 and came closer to doing it in 2015 but seemed to lose focus (ah, there’s that word again!) and I allowed myself to say, I’m too busy for this, I’m going to have to do it some other time! Well, we all know “some other time” is never easily found unless we are intentional about how we use the time we have. So, in 2016, I made the commitment to focus on my renovation project, start to finish, no matter what! And, guess what happened? I am very excited to say that my renovation will be done soon!
So, how does my renovation project have anything at all to do with the topic of visualization? That’s easy – visualization has been a constant companion throughout my journey. Whenever I felt frustrated because I could not find the right cabinet pulls or because the decisions around which appliances to buy seemed daunting, I would stop and say, this does not have to be difficult – the answers are out there, I just have not found them yet….and I would visualize finding the answers to whatever that day’s challenge was. And, I can honestly say, this process works! There have been many days when I would visualize finding something I was searching for, and somewhat miraculously it seemed to materialize – whether it was through a creative idea from a dear friend, or randomly opening a magazine that outlined just the right advice. Somehow the answers came easily when I just trusted in the process.
For me, visualization really goes hand in hand with prayer and meditation. I am a spiritual person and I do believe that we are all created with unlimited power within us to create the lives we desire. Visualization is a practice that allows us to calm our minds, take a deep breath, get a very clear picture of what we intend to bring into our lives, and then trust and believe that all those good things are coming our way. I find that using visualization gives me strength, hope and confidence that empowers me to live the life I am focused on living.
As often as I have seen the amazing power of visualization over the last several years, I still find myself amazed at the process. And, because I am a work in progress, at times, I still opt to worry about how I am going to work out some problem or situation. And then I remember, there is a better way – visualize it, instead of worrying about it! And, I am always pleasantly surprised with the way that I seem to find just what I need, seemingly effortlessly, when I need it. Visualization feels like this cool little secret that I have discovered that has changed the way I look at my life.
I’d love to share more about the practice of visualization with you. I’ll be a presenter at the Be Focused event on Wednesday August 31st at 530 pm and would love to walk you through some easy steps to start visualizing the life you intend to lead. I feel confident that this process could truly empower you by enhancing your focus in life with very little time and effort. It certainly has done that for me. Hope to see you in August! Click here for details and registration information.
I am also available to coach clients individually or present group workshops. If you would like to have a coach in your corner as you visualize and create the life you intend to live, please reach out to me at [email protected].
I would welcome the opportunity to partner with you in your exciting journey!
Today’s blog was written by WWR Affiliate Coach, Donna Kettell. Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 19, 2016 | Fitness, Guest Blogging
I was recently reminded of a time when I was living in Baltimore and had decided to head out the door for my run without strapping on my phone to play the current audio book or energizing music that typically accompanies me. Now, there are typically only two reasons that I leave my entertainment home, either I know it is going to rain or I feel an internal nudge that I need to spend that time in prayer and meditation. This was one of those times. I was in a state of deep contemplation, really desiring to hear one of those great nuggets of wisdom that God has given me in the past. Times where I’ve walked away just knowing in the depths of my soul that this thing- a thought, an idea, or just simply a feeling of peace- had been spoken directly to my heart. I remember that I was at a crossroads and feeling like my life was not moving as quickly as it should be and begging to be shown what I was doing that could be impeding my progress. I believed there must be something I was missing that was hindering my forward movement and I just couldn’t figure it out despite my many efforts.
The first part of the run felt especially difficult. A lot of it was uphill and I was struggling to concentrate on my prayers and quieting my mind. My thoughts were running much faster than my legs and I felt as though God had decided not to accompany me on this run. I finally got into a groove after about a mile as the road flattened out and I had beautiful views of the bay. I was overcome with such a thankful heart for all of the blessings I currently had and the many times I had felt abundantly cared for despite my shortcomings. As I had settled into a nice comfortable pace and a quiet thoughtfulness, I began hearing quick steps approaching me from behind. I could tell they were getting closer, which meant the person behind me was running faster than I was and quickly gaining on me. I did not like this. You see, I am very competitive by nature. Sadly, to the point that I actually still get highly bothered and must strongly resist the temptation to show it when I lose so much as a card game (and don’t manage to resist quite as well when I lose a tennis match). So you can imagine my frustration when I realized that another person was so much faster than me that they had caught and passed me within a quarter of a mile. I watched this fit girl run past me with ease and after a split second of increasing my pace to prevent this defeat, I assured myself that I would eventually catch her with my endurance rather than speed. I was sure that the pace she was running would be short-lived as she must be doing speed work or on a short run. I even began thinking about how I would re-tell my own version of the ever inspiring “life is not a sprint it’s a marathon” tale. I planned to offer an empowering experience where endurance trumped speed and my strong finish, rather than start, was what truly mattered!
However, the truth is that I never caught that girl. She ran off ahead of me and I did not see her again before turning around to complete my run. It was in this defeat that I heard the message of insight I had been seeking that day. I heard that internal voice of wisdom remind me that sometimes in life we are just not as conditioned or at the same pace as another person. Sometimes we spend a season in a place where it feels as though others are zipping by us and we are stuck in neutral spinning our wheels. It was impressed on me that this is not the case, rather this season can be a purposeful time of preparation or rest or even discipline, but that we are never there by accident and it is self-defeating to compare ourselves to others who are at a different place. Because that is not our place. We think ‘fastest’ is best or staying ahead of others is what makes us successful, but our internal worth or value is not measured by how far ahead of others we are, it is by doing all we are called to do in the place that we are currently at. It is making the most of our journey, not someone else’s. This occurs best when we take our competitive eyes off of another’s path and put them back onto our own.
Side note: I would love to say that I embraced this lesson and was changed on the spot, relinquishing my competitive nature and desire to be the best. However, I must admit that as I heard steps approaching me from behind a few minutes later, I increased my speed to the point of maxing out and sucking air in order to stay ahead of my pursuer. I could barely finish my run as I finally turned off and headed for home, no longer being followed. But I cannot lie and say that I didn’t walk a little taller and a little prouder knowing I had won the second bout… I’m still a work in progress.
Today’s blog comes from Affiliate Coach, Liz King-Reihm. Liz works with women of all ages to help them create healthy lives through mental, physical, and spiritual wholeness. She helps women discover their potential with both personal training as well as coaching. For more information about Liz, you can visit her website: www.coaching4her.com or email her at [email protected]. Or call (240) 397-6437 with any specific questions.
Liz will be co-leading our next event, ‘Be Well’ on Wednesday July 27th from 5:30 – 7:30. For registration information and details on this event, click here
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 1, 2016 | Personal Development, Retreats, Sandie Lynch
Nature fascinates me. The perfection of it – with its amazing breath-taking scenic beauty, such as a morning sunrise or a sunset when the sun turns the clouds into a kaleidoscope of color, or the intense greenery that outlines a cool mountain stream.
Similarly, the human body also blows my mind with it’s amazing possibilities. Possibilities demonstrated by numerous individuals who have tested it past the imaginable; such as Ninja warriors, elite athletes, professional dancers, and meditators who control pain or blood flow.
I am none of these people but I am still amazed by how the body faithfully responds to our requests to change, learn, and heal. In my journey, what I have realized is that my body is a friend and not foe; even though there was a time when I would look into the mirror and hate the reflection starring back at me.
As I move through the second half of my life there is a passion within me to share the wisdom I have gained to love the skin I’m in. I call it living Well. Any one that knows me, knows that I love acronyms, and, to me, WELL stands for …
- W = Whole
- E = Energized
- L = Loving
- L = Life
I define Being Whole as a wellspring from within, where the body, heart, mind, and spirit work together in synergy for our greatest good. It begins with embracing hope for our best, and trusting that each day equips and moves us a little closer to our goal. It continues with believing there are no mistakes, just new opportunities to make a different choice. Each day we are a little wiser; no longer being the person we were yesterday because we have new knowledge, a new skill, a lesson learned on how to navigate toward our true ‘WELL’ self, and we do this in perfect divine timing. With this perspective, I AM whole for today and tomorrow I will be whole for tomorrow. We can lose our feeling of “wholeness” today when we focus on tomorrow. Embrace your wholeness today!
Getting Energized is recognizing the body is here to help, and not hinder, our journey. The body needs certain life nutrients to equip us. Many of us believe good nutrition, some exercise, and rest are essential for a healthy life. I have also come to believe having faith in the body’s design, it’s nature, is essential for transformation and living WELL. I have observed my body for 30 years, when I change my exercise, eat differently, or move in a new way, my body faithfully responds to every request; it can’t help but respond! Our body is constantly monitoring what we are asking it to do in order to provide us with the strength, power, or endurance we need for the task. For our bodies to provide this help, it lets us know what it needs to perform the request, such as more food, more training, more rest. Are you listening to the cues from your body? Are you asking it to move you to your best? If you are feeling uncomfortable in your body, are you listening to it or are you just telling it to get comfortable and accept where you are?
Loving-Life is about learning to see the world, and ourselves, through a lens of love. Focusing only on what is good, what is working, as well as being grateful for what we have, we celebrate the progress and success of others, and ourselves, no matter how small. Loving life asks us to focus on the positive, seeing every frustration, challenge, and maybe even failure as beneficial for moving us towards our best. Loving life requires us to avoid comparison when doing so robs our joy or self-confidence, but embracing it when it inspires us to try something new for our journey of living WELL!
I pray that you realize you, too, are on a journey of living WELL; it is not a destination that we reach yet this process is available for you to begin, or continue, today. I hope you will embrace it and be WELL!
If you would like support, guidance, or coaching on living WELL, please feel free to contact me for personal coaching. You may also register to attend the BE WELL Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat on July 27th, 2016, where we will be diving deeper into this philosophy, reviewing each essential nutrient for the body, and coaching the development of strategies to live WELL! I hope you decide to join us for a relaxing, educational, and fun evening retreat. Click here for details.
Today’s Author: Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age! Check out ATP Fitness to “Maximize” your 2016. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life! Contact Sandie via email at [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 1, 2016 | Guest Blogging
How many of us can say that we have a portrait of ourselves hanging in our home that makes us feel like WE ARE ENOUGH?
And that this portrait fills you with self-love, empowerment and healing?
Ever since first picking up a camera, I became aware of the healing and transformative power of photography. Through my own personal journey of healing, turning to photography was my highest form of expression. I know firsthand it can be very difficult to express oneself with words, because quite honestly, sometimes there are no words for what we are going through. It is during these moments that I have found photography to be the next best thing. Through the lens, I am a humble witness to the unfolding and revealing of a soul’s authentic beauty.
This is how Soul Print Photography and the concept of healing portraiture was created. I define healing portraiture as “the beauty and illumination of the soul using a healing depiction of an individual with the use of photographic artistry”. We all desperately need individuals in our lives who will see and honor BOTH our light and our darkness. Even on our healing journeys, whether at the beginning, middle or the advanced level, and with all of the transformations we experience, there will always be a piece of us- a shadow that exists within us- that even though uncomfortable needs to be validated. We can’t exist without the other; it’s the Yin to our Yang. This form of honoring our spirit is what also inspired the concept of healing portraiture; to help support and empower others who are on their path of healing by using a more non-traditional form of expression.
I feel humbled and blessed to be on this journey and to have met some amazing people who have shared their personal life stories with me. I look forward to many more of these sessions and encourage you to gift yourself or someone you know with a healing portrait. The beauty of healing portraiture is that it is available to people of all ages. There are no requirements; simply take the first step to schedule a consultation and more information on what is involved and how to get started.
Today’s guest blogger is WWR Alliance Partner, Shannon Wagner. Shannon recently captured the full range of emotions that women felt at the Wholistic Woman Adventure Retreat – Courageous You. If you would like to learn more about her transforming photography, you can visit her website www.soulprintphotography.com or email her at [email protected]. (All information is kept confidential). Also, if you would like to see what Shannon is up to on a more frequent basis she would love to have you follow her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/soulprintphotography.
“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.”
~ HIPPOCRATES
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by Carol deLaski | Jun 15, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Courage, Personal Development, Retreats
“Are you ready?” the zip line instructor asked.
I found myself strapped in a harness equipped with huge metal cords and carabineers that suspended me from an industrial-sized cable somewhere above my head. My toes danced on the wooden platform below me and butterflies danced in my stomach, as the strong arm of the instructor steadied my swaying body.
I looked out ahead at the zip line course, which sloped down across the lake far below, and then rose up again over the land on the opposite side. Although I mainly felt the thrill of anticipatory excitement, there were some anxious thoughts swirling inside my helmeted head. What if something goes wrong? I asked myself, even though I knew I wasn’t willing to turn back.
As one of the leaders of a women’s weekend retreat, I was the last participant to experience the zip line ride. The rest of the women were now gathered at the other end of the line, ready to receive me. I had just witnessed my 80-year-old mother run the course. While I implicitly trusted the instructor and the equipment, I whispered a heartfelt prayer for Mom as she courageously stepped off the platform and went zipping across the lake. I have to admit that it was not an entirely selfless prayer; I have five siblings and I couldn’t help thinking, Dear God, please keep Mom safe. They will just kill me if anything happens to her! I felt a sense of relief as Mom made it safely to the other end of the line. She was met with cheers as several of the 30 women gathered there caught her in their arms and congratulated her.
My mother is an amazing person, and as she bravely overcame her fears that day, she inspired so many others to live life fully, regardless of their age. Now, it was my turn. With a deep breath I gave a nod to the instructor who then released his hold on me. I moved to the edge of the platform, stepped off into thin air, and began the thrill of the ride.
Feeling the initial free fall, and then the reassuring bounce of the cable as it held my weight, I sped forward on a fast descent toward the lake. The warm wind blew against my face, and the cable emitted a zipping sound above my head. The water seemed to be fast approaching and I prayed that I would not end up in it. What’s the worst that can happen? I thought to myself. I’ll just take a swim. Almost immediately I felt fear leave me.
Racing forward, I heard the cheers of the other women and I knew in that moment that I had found my freedom. At first tentatively, and then with confidence, I let go of my grip on the cord, flung my arms wide open, and embraced the world as I flew through the air. The exhilaration of the ride was matched only by the joy in my heart as I released my hold on fear and embraced a new way of being. Although I had placed my trust in that which was tangible -namely, the zip line equipment – I realized that my real security could be found in my faith.*
- I had faith that the equipment would function properly, and safely hold me.
- I had faith in the experience and expertise of the zip line instructor.
- I had faith in myself that I could step out of my comfort zone, be brave, and handle whatever would come of my decision to step off that platform, even if it meant taking a swim.
- Last, but not least, I had faith in a Higher Power who watches over me and takes care of me in all circumstances.
I learned about the freedom that comes when we trust ourselves, others, and God. This is a freedom that allows me take risks. A freedom that permits mistakes, as well as the opportunity to learn from my failures. A freedom that releases fear and embraces joy to live fully.
Where are you called to be braver and take a calculated risk?
What helps you to let go of your grip on fear and openly embrace whatever may come?
In the Wholistic Woman community we believe that stepping out of your comfort zone is an important element of being a woman-on-the-grow. Change/growth is usually uncomfortable because we are doing something new and unfamiliar. Accepting that discomfort is normal, and learning to be okay with it, will help us adopt the new perspectives and behaviors needed for lifelong learning.
Each year we offer a physical adventure retreat to experience stepping out of our comfort zones in a kinesthetic way. At this retreat women have the opportunity to…
- Ride a 600-foot zip line through the forest
- Climb a huge jungle gym called a static tower
- Do a “Leap of Faith” jump from the top of a telephone pole
…all while being safely harnessed and instructed by Ropes Course experts; guided by skilled life coaches; and cheered on by other women who are also stepping out of their comfort zones.
Women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and abilities join us to stretch and grow at the level that is right for them. In this supportive atmosphere they are encouraged to try one small step towards being braver…whatever that may be for them.
You’re invited to join us for this very special retreat on June 29th from 3- 8 pm at Upward Enterprises in Adamstown, Md. Afterwards, join us for a celebratory dinner at the Buckeystown Pub to share stories, lessons learned, and ways to apply your newfound courage to other areas of your life.
Click here to learn more about this opportunity to find a more Courageous You!
Space is limited. Register soon to reserve spots for you and your friends!
*(excerpted from Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith by Carol deLaski)
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a leadership coach, speaker, and author who specializes in developing the strengths of individuals and organizations. She is the Founder and CEO of Wholistic Woman Retreats which provides personal and professional development programs for women-on-the-grow. You may learn more about her at www.caroldelaski.com or email her directly at: [email protected] to have her work with you or your group.
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by Carol deLaski | Jun 7, 2016 | Courage, Laura Hall
I just registered myself and my two daughters for ‘Courageous You’, which is Wholistic Woman Retreats’ Physical Adventure event. This is a retreat I help lead with the other coaches of WWR where we ask women to step out of their comfort zone and try something that may feel a little (or a lot) risky. It warms my soul that my daughters, who are 18 and 21 years old, want to participate. I am raising courageous young women and I am so proud of them. I think I’m especially impressed by where they are at this stage in their lives because my journey was so different. I grew up trying to avoid risks because they felt scary, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s interesting to observe how my thoughts about risk taking have changed.
When I look back over my early childhood, fear is a big part of my story. As a little girl, I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I was convinced that “robbers” were going to break in to our house and shoot us with their guns. As I write this from an adult perspective I see how irrational the thoughts were, but at age 5, the fear was very real.
By age 8, I was convinced that if I wasn’t careful enough I was going to be abducted. I often stayed home instead of walking to a friend’s house because I was certain of being kidnapped and ending up on the back of a milk carton.
In middle school I worried about being liked and getting good grades. I didn’t like asking questions because it might look like I wasn’t smart. I was petrified of being called on and looking stupid.
As a teenager, and young adult, I managed my anxieties and fears by ‘playing it safe’. Take a risk…No way! And, for a while, this strategy worked. I had a nice little comfort zone that I lived in without having to try anything too scary. What happened to me over time though is that the comfort zone got boring. There was no adventure, no challenges and no risks. It started to feel like I was existing but not fully living. Somewhere in my late 30’s and early 40’s I made the conscious decision to turn and face my fears instead of hiding from them.
I addressed my social anxiety issues by joining and participating in networking events. In the beginning I was very uncomfortable, but intuitively I knew that the more I did it, the easier it would get, and this, overtime, proved to be true.
The next major fear I faced was the fear of public speaking. I joined Toastmasters and started learning the ins and outs of effective speech making. The first day I ventured up out of my seat and to the front of the room, I was shaking so badly, but I did it…shaking and all. And in 2013 I did something that at one time in my life I thought I could never do…I went skydiving! It was AWESOME!!!!! It was more that just jumping out of a plane for me. This true leap of faith represented freedom from the confines of a comfort zone.
I used to believe that taking risks was reckless and irresponsible in any and all circumstances, but I now believe that if the risk has the potential to move you toward a life more fully lived than that risk has to be taken, even if there is the chance of failure.
My favorite author Brené Brown says, “If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall.” I think I used to be adverse to taking risks because I was afraid of falling. What I know now is that that is no way to live. Playing is safe is no longer working for me.
I have several mantras that are helping me in this new, braver phase of my life. Two of my favorites are…’Feel the fear, and do it anyway” and “I choose courage over comfort”.
My daughter recently told me that her favorite quote is, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”. This quote is attributed to George Addair. I love that this is her favorite quote. I believe that one of the greatest gifts I’ve given my children is allowing them to witness me facing my fears.
Life presents us with many opportunities to be afraid. Some of them are legitimate and should be taken seriously, but a lot of them are fears that are just daring us to face them.
I encourage you to take a look at your life and consider where fear may be holding you back. What would it be like to turn and face it? What would it take for you to adopt the mantra, “Feel the fear but do it anyway”?
Are you ready to see what life would be like outside of your comfort zone? If so, I’d like to extend the invitation to have you join me and my daughters at ‘Be Courageous’ on June 29th. Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | May 30, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Courage, Retreats
Angela inspires me. Although she is afraid of heights, she bravely brought herself and her staff to the Wholistic Woman zip line retreat; knowing full well it would take her out of her comfort zone.
With a secure harness around her waist and a helmet on her head, she anxiously watched other women walk to the platform and be linked to the overhead cable by the facility expert. With cheers of encouragement, each woman then walked to the edge of the platform and, when they were ready, stepped off into thin air for the 600 foot zip line ride through the forest.
Tension grew in Angie’s face as she watched the women go before her and imagined taking the steps herself. Her 3 employees stood nearby and chatted excitedly about the opportunity to participate in this team building exercise and to support each other in being brave. First one, then another, went and soon it was Angie’s turn. She quietly said to me, “Well, there’s no turning back now. Here I go.” Even though no one was forcing her to do this she seemed to tap into an inner source of strength and bravely stepped to the platform and allowed herself to be linked to the zip line. She hesitantly approached the edge of the platform and fearfully looked down. Encouraging words from the watching women reminded her to look forward towards her goal…the end of the line and not at the ground below her. Taking a deep breath, and whispering a soft prayer, she stepped off the platform and was soon flying through the air. Clinging to the cable before her and feeling the rush of wind against her face, Angie’s look of fear soon spread into a smile of pure joy. The exhilaration of the ride overtook all her worries in the minutes that she zipped through the air. As she landed safely at the end of the line her joyful smile grew even bigger as she realized that she “did it”! The thrill of the ride was only surpassed by the exhilaration she felt inside for stepping beyond her fears. Receiving hugs and claps on the back from her employees and other surrounding women, Angie was practically floating as she walked through the woods back to the starting point.
I asked her how it felt and she radiated pure enthusiasm as she told me that is wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be…in fact it was really fun. We chatted as we moved to the next activity, a free-fall swing. Riding on her sense of accomplishment from having done the zip line, Angie looked at this next challenge and discovered her anxiety was again returning. Harnessed to a Y cable, women were being hoisted into the air by their teammates. When they were ready, each woman pulled the trigger to release themselves into a free-fall swing through the tree tops. Screams of excitement, delight, and also some fear resonated around Angie as she watched from a distance. “I’m not so sure about this one,” was her comment to me as we moved to pull the next woman into position. “Do what feels right for you,” was my advice to her, “we will support you in stretching as far as you want to go today.”
After watching each woman in our group do the free-fall swing from a variety of heights, Angie bravely stepped forward and said, “This scares me but I want to do it. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and regret that I didn’t do this.” With that she was attached to the Y cable and we slowly raised her into the air. Within a few feet she said loudly, “That’s enough…stop right there.” And we did. Respecting her wishes and the courage that she was tapping into to be in this position, we waited until she was ready to pull the trigger and release herself into a free-fall. Cheers surrounded her once more as she swung back and forth and then gently slowed to a stop. The smile that lit her face made my day. This 62 year- old woman epitomized for me what it means to me to be brave.
She felt her fear, yet she set herself up for success in several key ways which she explained to me afterwards.
She surrounded herself with people who encouraged her and supported her intention to overcome her fears.
She educated herself about the risks and made sure that she was working with experts who ensured a safe approach to those risks.
She brought a team to experience it with her and to remind her who she wants to be.
And last, but not least, she tapped into her own inner source of courage and strength. Believing in herself, and the God that she leans on, she took the leap to be all that she wants to be.
Almost a year later, I checked in with Angie to see how her courage has developed and the impact the retreat had on her business and her life. She said, “I’ve always been a cautious person, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t want my life to be controlled by fear. Stepping out and trying something that terrified me was exhilarating. Now when faced with a challenge, whether in business or in life, my new mantra is “I can do this!”
What does it take for you to be brave and overcome your fears?
Do you need information? Do you need support and encouragement from others? Does it help to see someone else go first before you take a leap?
Whether you need people, information, perspective, prayer or a combination of all four, it’s wise to know how to tap into your courage. Most of us face fear on a daily basis and we learn ways to overcome the mild nervousness we experience in order to do what we need to do each day.
But how do we manage the big things that scare us? Financial, medical, and relationship issues are just some of life’s challenges that can cause great anxiety within us.
How do we find the courage to face challenges?
I have found these three steps helpful when facing fear:
- Identify the fear. This can be hard to do because it feels vulnerable to admit that we are afraid. Yet, when we name our fear we begin to see how to manage it. Choices emerge about how to overcome fear once we see it and name it.
- Have a support team. Surround yourself with people who you trust and who inspire you to be brave. They will model courage for you and will cheer you on when you achieve both major and minor accomplishments.
- Take small steps. Courage grows every time you do something that scares you. For some of us it may be speaking in public, running a business, or learning a new skill…our fears vary and are as unique as we are. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you” which reminds us that courage takes practice. With every small step forward through our fears we develop our inner strength and courage.
What steps are you taking to be braver?
Grow more courageous at our 2016 Physical Adventure Retreat on June 29th from 3-8 pm.
This year we will be offering 3 exciting activities where you can Climb, Zip, and Leap out of your comfort zone.
Do 1, 2, or all 3 at the level that feels right to you.
Stretch and grow more courageous with us!
Click here for more details and registration information.
Questions can be sent to [email protected].
*Thank you to Angela Martin, owner of Shepherd’s Staff In-Home Care, and Wholistic Woman Member, for sharing her inspiring story with us.
* Click here to see photos from the 2015 Be Courageous Physical Adventure Retreat
This article was written by Carol deLaski, a professional certified coach, speaker, author, and Founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats. She specializes in strengths development for businesses and individuals. To learn more about her services, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | May 12, 2016 | Finances, Guest Blogging, Retreats
Financial Documents. Planning for the future. ‘What if’ scenarios. The state of your aging parent’s finances. Words and phrases that can often strike fear and anxiety in most of us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As with any subject, the more you can learn, the more you can release your fear around that topic and begin to plan and use the information to your benefit.
So, what do I mean by Financial Documents? It is the documents and information that should be in place in case of a ‘Life Event’, which is something that has a significant impact on your life, both financially and personally. This could be retirement, funding a child’s education or wedding, death of a spouse, divorce, job loss, and the like. Many of us don’t want to think about some of these topics, or don’t feel that there is any way we could ever be prepared, and so therefore, the topic gets ignored. But the reality is, the more you can educate yourself on this topic, the more prepared you will be to face an inevitable life event. Ignoring it doesn’t make it not happen, but addressing it makes the event much less stressful.
I was someone who did not want to face reality that something could go wrong, because I honestly thought that I would not be able to continue on. I would ask my husband, Sam, ‘what do I do if anything happens to you’. But when he said to me, ‘Karen, you could take care of things’ my answer would be a resounding ‘No way!’ and I’d end the conversation. I did not want to think about the possibility of a future of my life without him. So when the worst case scenario happened – he died very unexpectedly at the young age of 49 – not only was I not prepared financially, but I had lost the opportunity for his guidance on what I should do moving forward, especially with our business. We had our financial documents, but they weren’t adequate for what I needed after his death. So, in addition to dealing with the gut-wrenching agony of losing Sam, I was also dealing with the very stressful and anxiety-ridden topic of how in the world I was going to move forward, both financially and without his guidance.
Being prepared for a Life Event centers around two main topics – financial documents and conversations with your loved ones. Action steps you can take in those areas:
- Gather your important documents together
- Review the documents with your significant other or a loved one to become familiar with them and their contents, if you feel comfortable doing so
- Make an appointment with appropriate professional advisors to review the documents and determine if they are adequate for a Life Event
- Have regular conversations with your significant other and/or family members about the basics of your financial documents and/or situation
This can sometimes be an overwhelming topic to think about, let alone move forward. However, it is very important not only for yourself, but also for your loved ones. Acknowledgement, education and setting intentions, as with anything, is the key to moving forward.
Join Jane Helm and myself on May 25th as we lead the ‘Be You . . . Be Intentional’ seminar centered around being intentional with your financial life. For Details and registration information, click here
Today’s author, Karen Smith Racicot is a business and life coach assisting women and business owners with organizing their inventory of financial documents and being better prepared for a Life Event. She enjoys helping clients create more structure and organization in their financial life, assisting them with developing a path toward their life and financial goals.
Karen is the President of the Women’s Business Network, an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Women’s Retreats, a 2014 graduate of the Chamber’s Leadership Frederick County program, and a member of Zion Lutheran Church in Middletown. Visit her website E3coaching-md.com for information on working with Karen.
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by Carol deLaski | Apr 29, 2016 | Finances, Jane Helm
I had always believed that setting goals was instrumental in staying on track and getting things done. Goals are always related to a future result. They helped in advancing my career, improving my relationships and especially in creating a life of financial well -being. To achieve a goal, we know we need to make specific, measurable steps towards a desired outcome.
Goals can be tricky, though. They are easily sidelined by everyday life. Goals, while moving us toward what we say we want, can take us out of the moment and create a feeling that what we have isn’t enough. A background feeling of unease can come over us if our goal-oriented life discounts our present moment. In short, while goals can move us forward, we can also feel victimized when we aren’t moving towards achieving the goal as expected.
I once set a lofty financial goal of having a certain amount of money in my savings account. I strategized, re-worked my budget and was determined to save as much money as I could. My focus was completely centered on a number. Over the next several months I experienced a few setbacks including an unexpected vehicle repair, and unforeseen medical expenses. Within a short amount of time I felt discouraged and demoralized. In this case, the future result that was opposite of my goal–I was exasperated. I almost decided that it would be easier to give up on the possibility that my future would include any version of financial security than to focus on such a goal.
Living your intentions, on the other hand, is much different than having a goal-oriented focus. Being intentional allows you to focus on how you want to be in the moment, independent of whether you are winning or losing. Allowing intentions to guide your moment to moment focus, means you are living your values and what matters most to you.
Focusing on our intentions does not mean we give up our goals or desire for achievement. By partnering goals with intentions we enjoy the journey as much as the destination! Here are three differences between goal setting and intentions:
- Goals are focused on the future. Intentions are in the present moment.
- Goals are a destination or specific achievement. Intentions are lived each day, independent of reaching the goal or destination.
- Goals are external achievements. Intentions are your inner-relationships with yourself and others.
Instead of setting a specific goal, had I set my intention regarding my savings account, I could have focused on feeling financially aware and empowered rather than frustrated and defeated. Even though several emergencies had taken actual dollars away from my goal, I could have focused on my intention of being empowered–I was able to pay those bills!
When our intentions are aligned with our goals we can experience a life of authenticity. What better gift than to spend our lives in being true to our core values and beliefs!
I am excited to share the power of intention at the “Be Intentional” Evening Retreat and hope you will join me there.
This will be an opportunity to shift your focus to what is possible when we connect with our inner values, allowing our intentions to be the guiding light to living in the moment.
Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s Author: Jane Helm is the Principal of Money Mentor Group. As a wealth coach, Jane combines decades of financial services experience with a degree in social work and psychology to bring positive financial change to her client’s lives. She is an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Woman Retreat group and co-founded the Bring Your Own Business Success networking group. Jane can be reached via email at [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Apr 24, 2016 | Happiness, Laura Hall, Retreats
This blog was originally published in 2001 but its words are timeless and timely with our ‘Be Happier’ event scheduled for Wednesday, April 27th. Enjoy and we hope to see you on Wednesday 🙂
“Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.”
A couple years ago, I bought a plaque with these words imprinted on it to remind myself and my family that happiness is a choice. When I read this quote it reminds me to look for happiness in the present, in where I am and what I’m doing right now. It reminds me to be cautious about thinking thoughts like, “When I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll be happy”, or “If only I could make more money, then I’ll be happier”. You see, I believe that happiness comes from the inside out, not the other way around. That it is a way of being. It is not dependent on how I look, or what I have. I believe happiness comes from knowing (and reminding myself when I forget) of my inherent self worth and practicing gratitude on a regular basis.
I have to admit that happiness comes relatively easy to me. I’ve always been the type of person to see the glass as half full, not half empty. One of my favorite books in elementary school was “Pollyanna”. My parents helped by raising me to believe that life is happening for me, NOT to me, and this core thought has allowed me to always look for the life lessons – even in the face of struggle or adversity, and then to practice gratitude for the lessons learned.
I know that not everyone is like me and that some of us struggle with finding happiness. What I’d like to suggest is that you stop looking for happiness and start creating it. What I am proposing is a Happiness Experiment. This experiment is being designed for everyone. There is no specific age, gender, socioeconomic status, or minimum current level of happiness necessary to be able to participate. My hypothesis is that by practicing 5 simple steps on a daily basis for one week, your happiness will increase by 20%.
Now I just need some volunteers…This is where you come in! 🙂 The first thing I need you to do is to rate your happiness on a scale of 0 to 10 with 0 representing no happiness and 10 representing complete happiness. Before you read any more, I need you to come up with your happiness rating, and if you are really gutsy, why don’t you post your starting point in the comments for this blog. 😉
OK, now that you have your number, here are the 5 steps, and what you’ll be committing to should you be willing to participate in my happiness experiment with me:
- Define what happiness means to you – On day one of The Happiness Experiment you will be taking the time to write down your own personal definition of happiness. You will be completing the statement, “Happiness is…” When you think of happiness, what words come to mind? Think of the last time you remember being happy, what did that feel like? Are there certain people, or certain types of people who trigger your happiness? What about certain places? What physical sensations do you experience when you are happy? Who are you being when you are happy? Maybe even look at it from the other side, when you are unhappy, what is missing from your experience that is fueling your unhappiness? Once you’ve written your definition, you will need to write it down and put it someplace where you can read at it at least once a day for the remainder of the week.
- Sing out loud – Pick a song, any song, channel your inner diva and use your big girl voice to belt it out! I know for some of you this is going to feel very uncomfortable at first, and that’s OK, but as Nike says, “Just Do It”! The details are not important. You can sing in the shower, in the car to your favorite song, with people watching, or in total privacy. Just sing!
- Dance – This is about moving your body in a fun, life affirming way. I suggest turning the music up, closing your eyes and letting the energy move you. Spinning also seems to work for me, but again, there is no “right” way to do this, so whatever feels right to you is right. Go with it!
(Note #2 and #3 can be combined) As an aside, if you are ever in Mt. Airy, MD and you see a 40 year old woman in a blue Hyundai Sonata belting out Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” while waving her arms in what may look like some sort of seizure, don’t worry! That’s me combining #2 and #3.
- Intentionally smile at someone – Making a point to smile is such a simple thing to do, yet so many of us don’t take the time to do this on a regular basis. Who can you share a smile with? Maybe it’s a stranger you pass while walking down the street. Maybe it’s a coworker you see in the elevator each morning. Maybe it’s your child who is not used to seeing your face light up when they enter the room. Maybe it’s your spouse or significant other as they walk through the door after a long day at work. Maybe it’s you as you see yourself in the mirror brushing your teeth at the end of the day. There really is no excuse for not getting this one done.
- Practice gratitude – When you wake up each morning, I want you to ask yourself, “What am I most grateful for?” and write it down. As the day goes on, continue to look for things to be grateful for. As these new gratitudes arise ask yourself if this new gratitude surpasses the one you started your day off with. If it does, cross out your 1st one and replace it with your new one. Stick with this all day, so that by the time you go to bed, you will have the thing you were most grateful for today at the bottom of your list. Write this one down on a piece of paper by your bed, so that by the end of the week you’ll have a gratitude listed for each day of the experiment.
Are you in? Will you be part of my Happiness Experiment? What have you got to lose? The idea is to complete all 5 steps for 7 days in a row. Give yourself permission to be silly. This is meant to be fun!
At the end of your week with the Happiness Experiment, re-assess what number you give yourself on the happiness scale and let me know how it went. Did your number increase? If so, by how much? What step was the easiest for you? What step did you struggle with? Please share your comments, so I know whether my hypothesis proved to be true or false. I look forward to hearing from you! Laura
Want to join us Wednesday? Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
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I’d love to share more about the practice of visualization with you. I’ll be a presenter at the Be Focused event on Wednesday August 31st at 530 pm and would love to walk you through some easy steps to start visualizing the life you intend to lead. I feel confident that this process could truly empower you by enhancing your focus in life with very little time and effort. It certainly has done that for me. Hope to see you in August! Click here for details and registration information.
