Releasing Anchors to Help You Soar
Do you want to soar in the New Year? As we say hello to a New Year, it’s a great time to release anchors and things that may be holding us back. It’s a time to reflect upon the things we learned in the past year and the ways we grew. A time to set new intentions and goals. A time to forgive and leave some things in the past. It’s a time to see what habits helped us and which ones did not serve us well. It’s a time for cleansing, growth, and creation.
While on a business trip over the summer, one of my mentors referenced the concept of anchors and wings. This stuck with me for a while and it’s something I’ve incorporated into my every day. Something I am focusing on more as we move into a New Year. It’s the concept of those things that weigh us down and the ones that help us rise and soar.
Where in your life do you see anchors? They can come in many forms. It may be a toxic relationship or a bad habit that you haven’t let go of yet. Maybe it’s the clutter or noise that comes into your personal space or your mindset. It may be time wasted or time not spent well. Holding onto those moments where someone hurt you or past failures may be another example.
When we think of nature, think of the reasons why birds are able to spread their wings and fly. They are able to gracefully soar because they are light and don’t have things weighing them down. Imagine if you could soar in 2019 with less weight on your back (or in your mind).
As you reflect on where you have come, where you are and where you want to go, think of changes and adjustments that may help you soar higher.
The things we think about often manifest into reality. How would you view your perspective on life? Do you find yourself being sucked into drama and negativity? Do you choose to look at life with gratitude and joy? The outcome of the two can deliver completely different results. In 2018, my “one word” was JOY. It helped me to view things from a different perspective throughout the year. I also started each day with gratitude and wrote down things I was grateful for, who I would reach out to, how I wanted to serve and better show up in the world. I recommend looking at how you receive things and what changes you can make to better serve you each day.
We all have the same hours in the day. This is something we have heard many times and it’s true! So, how are you spending your time? Do you feel like you’re using it wisely? Do you think there are adjustments that can be made to help you soar more? Are you filling your time with things that are weighing you down? Things that help you to find happiness, passion, fulfill your dreams and goals and also help you grow.
The past often runs into our present for many reasons. This may be due to past choices that did not serve us well. This may be a past relationship that hurt or someone you were with who wronged you. Whatever it may be, forgiving, learning and moving forward will help you soar. How we feel about people or experiences of our past can make for heavy anchors. So many things happen for reasons and ones we sometimes don’t see. As you move into 2019, what from your past can you let go of, forgive or consider as a lesson and tool to help you soar?
Looking for a resource to help you with the mind/body connection of healing? This book may help: The Healing Code
This is a big one and something that often can weigh us down. Consider the people in your life right now. Do you surround yourself with those who support you, encourage you to soar, help you to show up as the best version of yourself? This is a big one that I learned in 2018. I spent the past year cultivating healthy relationships, surrounding myself with GIANTS, created boundaries and said goodbye to things that were not serving me well. Depending on your situation and relationship, making adjustments may be hard or easy. Figure out what works for you. If it’s not serving you well, maybe it’s time to say goodbye or at least create a healthy boundary.
Our lifestyle plays a big part in how much we soar and show up. I look at life and the wellness wheel from a holistic perspective. Considering relationships, spirituality, career, movement and exercise, nutrition and nourishment. Looking at your wellness wheel, what seems off-balanced? Which category (or categories) can you nurture more to better serve you? What bad habits and choices are a part of your world that may serve you better to let go of?
The start of a New Year is a great time to reflect on your habits. Good and bad, we all have habits that are holding us back, weighing on our mind, creating unhealthy energy and don’t serve us well. This could be anything from keeping clutter, hitting your snooze button many times, eating for unhealthy reasons, spending too much time on social media and more. I encourage you to reflect on the habits in your life. What can you let go of and which ones may serve you better?
I want to focus on this topic because it’s something that affects so many and holds people back. Fear is important for survival. We have a fear of falling or being hurt. Yet, fear holds us back and keeps us complacent for many reasons. We fear failure, success, what people think and more. Do you feel like you’re living to your potential? Does fear hold you back from doing so? Where can you discover ways to grow, be courageous and take chances? This isn’t referring to being dangerous to the extent of hurting or harming yourself and others. This is about living outside of your comfort zone, taking chances, learning and growing!
Looking for some additional motivation and mindset shifting? I’ve always loved the videos on Motivation Grid
So, what changes can be made? What bad habits and toxicity can be eliminated or distanced? What better things can be replaced to help us soar and succeed? Change is uncomfortable and not always easy. Yet, sometimes change is exactly what we need to flourish, grow, become a better version of ourselves and SOAR.
Where do you feel the need to make a change? I welcome you to comment below or share in a private message. If you feel like you need additional support or accountability, I welcome you to contact me.
Adventure is What You Make It
I’ve never considered myself to be an adventurous person. I never liked trying new foods, I’m afraid of heights, and pollen allergies always make it difficult to venture outside spring through autumn.
But in thinking about what I would write for my blog this week, I considered the following question:
What does adventure mean to me?
And that opened some interesting avenues. My idea of adventure doesn’t have to be the same definition someone else would give. I’m also certain that I’ve done things other people would consider highly adventurous. So what does adventure mean to me?
I’ve been a horseback rider for many years. I remember begging my mother for riding lessons when I was 9 (though in truth, I didn’t have to try that hard, as she was also a rider when young), and I gleefully began riding after that Christmas present came through. Riding is in my blood. It’s an inextricable part of me, and when I am not actively involved with horses, life is much less fun. Working in harmony with a thousand-pound creature to create a partnership in the arena is like nothing else.
As a kid, I dreamed of being a three-day eventer. This discipline involves show jumping, dressage, and cross-country jumping. Jumping never scared me, even though it’s one of the many ways riders fall off and hurt themselves, sometimes resulting in serious injuries. And I have definitely fallen off and hurt myself while riding! But I’ve always felt that jumping was like flying—that weightless feeling as my horse and I are going over jumps in sync with each other is like nothing else.
Non-riders, and even a few fellow riders, have told me they think jumping is crazy and dangerous, and they would never do it. So while jumping feels natural and fun to me, and feeds my soul with adventure, others consider it too much of a risk.
What activities do you find frightening or intimidating? Why?
How can you overcome those feelings to give them a try?
Adventure doesn’t have to be purely physical, either. I took a huge risk and a big leap of faith when I began working for myself four years ago. To briefly recap my business adventures: I had been laid off from my previous job and while job searching, was working part-time at a stable. I suffered a severe concussion from a double hit to the head in a freak accident at the barn and was unable to work for a while. I looked at my skills and what I thought was marketable and decided to start freelancing as an editor and marketer.
Four years later, I’ve built a successful social media marketing business. It turned out far better than I ever could have planned, and it certainly wasn’t on my life to-do list. I could have continued trying to find a job the traditional way or stayed with my previous employer when they called me back almost a year later and offered me a job. But I decided to continue working for myself. That particular adventure isn’t for everyone, and is loaded with risk, stress, and sometimes, failure. But the rewards I’ve gained have been invaluable, and I now can’t imagine going back to working for someone else. I don’t know exactly where my business will lead me, but I can now say I’m up for the adventure.
When have you taken a leap of faith?
What intangibles do you consider adventurous?
If you’re ready for a new adventure, join Wholistic Woman Retreats for the Be Adventurous Scavenger Hunt on July 25, 2018! Come with your own team or make new friends at the event. Teams will follow clues based on the four Wholistic areas of mind, body, heart, and spirit. Come laugh, explore, and play with us! You’ll learn something new about yourself and others while connecting with this growing community of women. Learn more and register here.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local marketing business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, and editing. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.maiasocial.com
Today’s guest blogger is Wholistic Woman Retreats member Tiffany Richardson. Tiffany is a 2018 scholarship recipient and writes about her life experiences and how she came to find our 2018 Be Creative retreat. Welcome, Tiffany! We are so happy you found our community!
Earlier this year, someone told me about Wholistic Woman Retreats and how they meet once a month during dinner time. We talked about it briefly and then the topic was never brought up again.
However, I was so interested in learning more about it that I Googled it and found the website. As I was scrolling down to look for future retreats, the words “Be Creative” caught my eye.
You see, I used to be so creative. I wrote many short stories and I shared them with family and friends who enjoyed reading them. I told hundreds of stories using sign language in front of an audience who kept asking for more. I even sang songs in ASL at my Deaf church. I was in theatre arts at my church, at my college, and once for a community theatre company in Houston, Texas. I used to draw all the time.
All of that stopped almost 25 years ago. Why?
My mind was blocked. I couldn’t get it to open up. I did attend a couple of those “Paint with Wine” events, but I wasn’t painting with my own creativity or my own ideas. I was painting by following the instructor’s steps and all of the six ladies who were there had the same image as the one I painted. It wasn’t unique as if it had come from my own creative juices. It’s like coloring a picture that has numbers to indicate which color that specific spot had to be.
So what happened 25 years ago? I went into full survival mode without realizing it or even knowing that specific term. I was in an abusive marriage with a man who was a classic narcissist. I mean, if I were to read an article about what a narcissist abuser is usually like, I would find myself nodding because the characteristics matched.
When our daughter was only eight weeks old, I called the police because my husband was threatening to kill me that night and he was so angry that his whole body shook with both hands shaking too. I knew that my baby and I weren’t safe there – we never were – but that night he couldn’t control himself. I left him without looking back.
However, he did almost everything in his power to try to destroy me and to take custody of our daughter. He harassed me to no end for ten long years after I left him.
My daughter is now 18 years old. We haven’t seen him or heard from him for eight years now. I took care of her by working two full-time jobs when I first left him. I realized I couldn’t afford to keep the roof over our heads, so I took on a third job, but it was only part time teaching ASL at a community college two nights a week. I lived paycheck to paycheck for 18 years. I struggled to keep my head above the water.
There were times when we had to live with strangers because the other option would be to go to a homeless shelter. We used to get our food from the food bank or use food stamps.
But we finally got an apartment of our own in 2012, with just the two of us. I’ve managed to stay afloat since then. I used the food bank for the first three years since moving to that apartment.
By 2015, things started to look better for us. I still am living paycheck to paycheck, I still struggle, but I do see hope because I’m still recovering and yes, it is taking a long time for me to heal.
I remember when I saw a video of a strong Deaf woman teaching self-defense to Deaf women all over the world. I asked her if she would travel to our city. In my email to her, I wrote that I wanted to learn self-defense because I was a victim of domestic violence.
Know what she said?
“Tiffany, you are not a victim anymore. You are a survivor!”
That was so empowering for me. I saw myself in a new light.
Being a victim is so dark for me, so when I was finally able to say “I am a survivor,” things began to look brighter. With that said, I don’t want to be a victim anymore. I don’t want to be in survival mode anymore. I want to thrive and live to my fullest potential, whatever that is.
This is why I was interested in Wholistic Woman Retreats and I want to go to ALL of the events!
When I saw the Be Creative event I told myself, “This is it! This is how I will start my journey of shifting from my survival mode to my new way of living by thriving!”
I was getting so excited as I read the description of the event. I searched for the “register now” button and when I did, I was dismayed to see the price. I really wanted to go, so I searched to see if there were anything like a scholarship.
Of course, when I saw that there was one, I was overjoyed and I applied right away.
I don’t really remember everything that I said in the application, but I do remember saying that I understood or thought that for a woman to be wholistic, she would need to grow and develop some kind of harmony with her heart, mind, spirit, and body, and that it is a process that will require time, patience, practice, and lots of support from other women. I wanted to do that and I also wanted to thrive!
Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to attend the “Be Creative” retreat!
Since the retreat, I’ve been drawing, writing, and even dreaming again. I am so grateful for this wonderful opportunity to participate the retreat with you all!
If I were to ask ten people how they’re creative, I’m willing to bet I would get at least five different responses – but the most common response would be “I’m not creative.” Far too many people believe that they need to write a bestselling novel or paint a masterpiece to be considered creative. In an Adobe study on creativity and education, 78% of survey participants said they wish they had more creative ability.
We are all creative, whether we write, paint, draw, sing, or dance. Creativity is part of our essential makeup as humans, and the desire to create something meaningful is a motivation for many.
Why do so many people believe they aren’t creative? Part of it may be the comparison trap, which Wholistic Woman coaches have written about previously. We are too afraid to create because we’re afraid of judgement, whether our own or from others. Certainly many creative people fall into the comparison trap and may lose the desire to create out of a belief that they don’t stack up or that their creativity is inadequate.
Another reason may be that creativity is an act of bravery. It takes courage to create, and to be creative. It takes courage to share your creations with others, which opens you up to potential rejection and criticism. Accessing and utilizing your creativity may at times be frightening, not just for the potential rejection of something you have worked hard on, but also because you are making yourself vulnerable. You’re likely expressing your inner self, inner desires and fears, and those aspects of yourself which are normally kept hidden.
However, once you find yourself tapping into your creativity, don’t you find it hard to stop? That’s because your creativity serves a need within you. It fulfills that desire to create, and allows you to consciously or unconsciously explore different sides of yourself.
How are you creative?
In what ways do you invite creativity into your life?
A common refrain these days is “I don’t have time for that.” We’re all filling our lives with busy: home and school and work and social life and kids and on and on and on. The world, and our daily lives, are filled to the brim with “I’m busy, so I don’t have time.”
Pause. Breathe. Just reading that paragraph probably started flooding your brain with everything you have to accomplish today, or this week, or this month. But I’m going to tell you something revolutionary . . . here it comes . . . you do have time.
Most of us forget that we make time for the tasks, events, and people who we feel are important to us. Our creative pursuits often take a back seat to work because we need to pay our bills, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m guilty of it myself. I haven’t written nearly as much in my books as I had planned because running my own business consumed my life for the last year. But you know what?
I allowed it to.
I allowed work to take over because I felt it was necessary in order to do my job right, and to do it well. So I neglected my writing, and now I’m finding that was a mistake. All self-blame aside, I shouldn’t have let myself do that. That creative endeavor helps to inject creativity into my work, which is an absolute necessity in what I do. By neglecting my creative passion, I had begun to shut myself off to the creative well inside me, and all because I convinced myself I had no time or energy.
We make time for what we consider important in that moment. Of course, some things must and will always take priority, such as caring for children or family members, ensuring a roof over one’s head and food on the table, etc. But do you consider your creative pursuits important? Or have you let them slide in favor of other things?
If you have let your creativity slide, what can you do to bring those pursuits back into your life?
Wholistic Woman Retreats invites you to be courageous with us at the Be Creative Retreat on March 3. Explore your creativity and perhaps even find new ways of expressing your creative side at this full-day signature retreat! Learn about intuitive painting, integrative nutrition, self-compassion power pages, and so much more with our coaches. We look forward to seeing you there! More details and registration here.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media business. She offers social media management, consultations, and training, as well as video filming and editing, proofreading, and manuscript critique services. Kira is also a published author with multiple fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.maiasocial.com
What are you afraid of? I have several “top of the list” fears: heights, bees, and certain types of reptiles! These fears are easy to manage. I don’t step too close to the edge of anything that is way up in the sky, I don’t wear perfume in the summer, and I hardly ever have to deal with reptiles. These sources of fright can be managed by lifestyle choices.
There is another type of fear that is more challenging to navigate. It can keep us from everyday activities, or trying something new. It holds us back even when we know it may be in our best interest to meet new people, try something new, speak up, shut up, or show up. Doubt plays a big role in this insidious version of fear. Doubt is the voice of the naysayer, the one who attempts to shout over our inner cheerleader. Both voices compete in our minds when we are trying to be fearless.
The naysayer lurks in a self-induced shadow of doubt and hides behind our feelings of inadequacy. It reminds us of our previous failures, the times when things didn’t work out. It’s comfort zone is a deep cavern of uncertainty. It can smother our hopes and dreams like a security blanket that is woven with the yarn of perfectionism, comparison, and scarcity. We can find ourselves sleepily going along in life, listening to the lullaby in this safety zone.
I have learned that when I listen to the cheerleader, I become more confident. The voice that is telling me to “go for it” has rarely been wrong. She encourages me and reminds me that anything is possible. Sure, I’ve been premature with some of my fearlessness, but I know that the more I trust her, the quieter her competition becomes. The shadows of doubt dwindle in the light of her spirit.
Fearlessness takes practice. I have found that taking some small, courageous steps creates the building blocks I’ve needed on my journey to finding my bravest self. Like a toddler learning to walk, I’ve steadied myself with each step. Sometimes, I’ve fallen anyway. When I do, the cheerleader reminds me to get back up, face the fear again, and step towards the courage I am seeking. These steps have ultimately led to leaps of faith, the ones that feel scary, but also exhilarating!
Listen to your cheerleader…you know who she is. She is the one saying, “You got this!”
And you do!
If you would like to learn more about being fearless…especially with your finances, I invite you to join me for the next Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat: Be Financially Fearless on September 27th from 5:30-7:30 pm in Frederick, MD.
Today’s Author: Jane Helm is the Principal of Money Mentor Group. As a wealth coach, Jane combines decades of financial services experience with a degree in social work and psychology to bring positive financial change to her client’s lives. She is a Partner Coach with the Wholistic Coaching Coalition and co-founded the Build Your Own Business networking group. Jane can be reached via email at email@example.com
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ~ Helen Keller
What do you think of when you hear the word Adventure?
Daring…risky…exciting…maybe even a bit scary?
Adventures often have an element of the unknown, risk, and perhaps danger. I’ve noticed that there are different levels of adventure that appeal to each of us. What thrills me may seem tame to someone else. What thrills someone else may seem impossible for me to do.
Whether you’re quick to jump on board or prefer to think things through before taking a well-calculated risk, I believe it’s important for each of us to cultivate our own unique spirit of adventure. That spirit calls for us to try new things that take us out of our comfort zones, to stretch, grow, and reach for new accomplishments. The spirit of adventure is when we “participate in exciting undertakings or enterprises,” according to Dictionary.com.
My adult son, Ben, recently went skydiving with his girlfriend Kate. They were nervously excited about this great adventure and thoroughly researched the company they chose to literally, take the jump. Even though I was nervous, too, I saluted their courage in overcoming fear and doing such a daring act. I was the first person Ben called when his feet were safely on the ground once more and his voice was full of excitement and joy as he told me that it was one of the most amazing experiences of his life. His adrenaline and thrill were evident and contagious. I felt both relief and happiness for Ben and Kate; especially knowing that they took this adventurous step together.
I have no burning desire to jump out of a perfectly good airplane; however, I have my own sense of adventure. It often comes alive for me when I travel. I recently went to Texas for a work trip and extended my stay for a few days of fun and adventure exploring Texas Hill Country with my co-worker and friend, Kelye.
Kelye travels to Texas frequently for work and she designated herself my official tour guide for our long weekend together. She drove us through big cities and small towns: Austin, Fredericksburg, Comfort, and San Antonio. We drove through Luckenbach, Texas (where Waylon, Willie, and the gang sang). I tried new foods and drinks, saw new animals (such as armadillos), stayed on a ranch, and even bought myself a pair of red cowgirl boots as a reminder of this fun road trip. Traveling always taps into my sense of adventure as I find myself more open to see, taste, smell, listen, touch – and thoroughly experience new places, people, and things.
What taps into your sense of adventure?
What activities bring you the thrill of excitement?
What will you do this summer to explore and stretch out of your comfort zone?
If you’re looking for good ideas, I have a great suggestion!
I warmly invite you to our first Wholistic Woman Scavenger Hunt. This local adventure will take you around the historic district of Frederick, MD, and help you discover and experience it in new, creative ways.
Frequently, we take our hometown or nearby attractions for granted; we may not make time to enjoy and explore them. This is your chance to get to know Frederick better as you hunt for items and activities in the four Wholistic categories of body, heart, mind, and spirit.
Clues in each category will challenge you and your teammates to find and photograph such things as:
Heart: Do an act of kindness for an elderly person such as helping them across the street or paying for their parking meter.
Mind: Go to the house of the famous woman who said “Shoot if you must, this old gray head, but spare your country’s flag!” and salute the flag displayed there.
Body: Get a postural assessment from our sponsor, Spring Ridge Chiropractic, at the tallest, straightest place in Baker Park.
Spirit: Photograph your team at one of the many houses of worship in Frederick and light a candle, say a prayer, or meditate together.
These, and many more clues, will stretch your minds as you walk around town; be sure to wear comfortable shoes! Find and do as many of these clues as you can (or want to) in an hour and a half. Wholistic Woman Retreats will provide snacks and plenty of water to keep you hydrated and happy as you explore old town Frederick.
Create your own team, or come on your own and join a team at the event. This is a great team-building experience, whether you’re bringing co-workers, staff, or board members…or if you meet your team that day. You’ll get to know others as you explore the streets of Frederick – on the move – learning, connecting, and growing.
At the conclusion of the Scavenger Hunt we will gather upstairs at Brewer’s Alley to celebrate with cold drinks, dinner, and a recap of team adventures with a slideshow of your scavenger hunt photos. Fun prizes will be awarded, but we know the best reward will be the sense of accomplishment and connection you will feel from getting outside your comfort zone with other Women-on-the-Grow.
To participate in the Wholistic Scavenger Hunt, register yourself and/or your team. Plan to arrive at the Baker Park Gazebo at 4:30 on July 26th. The hunt will run from 5:00-6:30 PM, followed by dinner and celebration at Brewer’s Alley till 8:00 PM.
I hope to see you there…let’s have an adventure together!
Today’s Author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an executive coach, founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats, and author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. Learn more about her coaching and training services at www.caroldelaski.com or email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org.