I just registered myself and my two daughters for ‘Courageous You’, which is Wholistic Woman Retreats’ Physical Adventure event. This is a retreat I help lead with the other coaches of WWR where we ask women to step out of their comfort zone and try something that may feel a little (or a lot) risky. It warms my soul that my daughters, who are 18 and 21 years old, want to participate. I am raising courageous young women and I am so proud of them. I think I’m especially impressed by where they are at this stage in their lives because my journey was so different. I grew up trying to avoid risks because they felt scary, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s interesting to observe how my thoughts about risk taking have changed.
When I look back over my early childhood, fear is a big part of my story. As a little girl, I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I was convinced that “robbers” were going to break in to our house and shoot us with their guns. As I write this from an adult perspective I see how irrational the thoughts were, but at age 5, the fear was very real.
By age 8, I was convinced that if I wasn’t careful enough I was going to be abducted. I often stayed home instead of walking to a friend’s house because I was certain of being kidnapped and ending up on the back of a milk carton.
In middle school I worried about being liked and getting good grades. I didn’t like asking questions because it might look like I wasn’t smart. I was petrified of being called on and looking stupid.
As a teenager, and young adult, I managed my anxieties and fears by ‘playing it safe’. Take a risk…No way! And, for a while, this strategy worked. I had a nice little comfort zone that I lived in without having to try anything too scary. What happened to me over time though is that the comfort zone got boring. There was no adventure, no challenges and no risks. It started to feel like I was existing but not fully living. Somewhere in my late 30’s and early 40’s I made the conscious decision to turn and face my fears instead of hiding from them.
I addressed my social anxiety issues by joining and participating in networking events. In the beginning I was very uncomfortable, but intuitively I knew that the more I did it, the easier it would get, and this, overtime, proved to be true.
The next major fear I faced was the fear of public speaking. I joined Toastmasters and started learning the ins and outs of effective speech making. The first day I ventured up out of my seat and to the front of the room, I was shaking so badly, but I did it…shaking and all. And in 2013 I did something that at one time in my life I thought I could never do…I went skydiving! It was AWESOME!!!!! It was more that just jumping out of a plane for me. This true leap of faith represented freedom from the confines of a comfort zone.
I used to believe that taking risks was reckless and irresponsible in any and all circumstances, but I now believe that if the risk has the potential to move you toward a life more fully lived than that risk has to be taken, even if there is the chance of failure.
My favorite author Brené Brown says, “If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall.” I think I used to be adverse to taking risks because I was afraid of falling. What I know now is that that is no way to live. Playing is safe is no longer working for me.
I have several mantras that are helping me in this new, braver phase of my life. Two of my favorites are…’Feel the fear, and do it anyway” and “I choose courage over comfort”.
My daughter recently told me that her favorite quote is, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”. This quote is attributed to George Addair. I love that this is her favorite quote. I believe that one of the greatest gifts I’ve given my children is allowing them to witness me facing my fears.
Life presents us with many opportunities to be afraid. Some of them are legitimate and should be taken seriously, but a lot of them are fears that are just daring us to face them.
I encourage you to take a look at your life and consider where fear may be holding you back. What would it be like to turn and face it? What would it take for you to adopt the mantra, “Feel the fear but do it anyway”?
Are you ready to see what life would be like outside of your comfort zone? If so, I’d like to extend the invitation to have you join me and my daughters at ‘Be Courageous’ on June 29th. Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com