by Carol deLaski | Oct 8, 2014 | Change, Laura Hall
Last Saturday I walked a labyrinth for the first time. I entered with the intention of finding clarity on how I am meant to use my new training in The Daring Way™ process in my coaching practice. I exited with 7 lessons that I believe will not only help me in my coaching practice, but also in life.
1. Find a pace that’s right for you
I started off walking very slowly and mindfully. I wanted to take my time and not rush through the experience. What I noticed was that when I went too slow, I felt off balance, so I picked up the pace. However, walking too fast didn’t feel right either. I felt like I was rushing the process, just to get through it. Eventually I settled into a pace that felt just right. When it comes to our journey through life, I think that finding that pace that is just right is important. Too slow and we can feel like we are wasting our valuable resource of time, and too fast feels hectic and overwhelming. How is your pace? Are you racing through life? Are you dragging your feet? Or have you found the pace that’s right for you?
2. It’s OK to feel lost sometimes
At some point in the labyrinth I started thinking that maybe I had taken a wrong turn because it felt like it was taking too long to get to the center. I felt lost. (Even though I knew that was impossible) There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt lost, and undoubtedly as I continue to travel through life there are going to be times in the future where I am not going to be certain about where I am or what direction I can take. The lesson I took away from the labyrinth is that this is part of the process and it’s OK. As someone who craves certainty, it’s uncomfortable for me to feel lost. I don’t like not knowing, but believing that it is part of the process normalizes it for me. It’s OK to feel lost is definitely going to be a new mantra of mine. How about you? Are you comfortable with uncertainty? How would believing it was part of the path change the way you feel about it?
3. Just keep moving
In that moment when I felt lost, I noticed that I actually physically stopped walking for a minute and tried to take in the entire labyrinth. Where was I? What way did I need to go to get to the center? Why couldn’t I figure it out? As these questions swirled around in my head I heard a small whisper from the back of my mind say, “Just keep moving”. It was easy for me to see the next stone that I needed to step on, even if I couldn’t figure out how the entire path was laid out. I love the story of Hansel and Gretel and following the breadcrumbs. Trying to figure it all out has been a stumbling block for me in my life. What I recognized in the labyrinth is that I don’t need to know all the steps of how to get from point A to point B, I just need to know the next step. I can go from breadcrumb to breadcrumb! All I have to do is to just keep moving? What works for you when you feel stuck or lost? How do you get yourself back into action?
4. It will get easier
The longer I was in the labyrinth, the easier it got. I think this is true for most things in life. Allowing ourselves to be beginners is important. I think back to when I first learned to drive a stick shift. There was a lot of jerking, and stalling. Now, I can drive a stick shift like a pro! As I grow my business and step into areas that are new to me, I am going to remind myself that the more I do something, the easier it will get and that it’s ok to jerk and stall in the beginning. Where do you need to allow yourself to be a beginner in your life? What will it take for you to believe that it will get easier?
5. Stay out of comparison
At some point in my labyrinth walk I found myself looking at everyone else and wondering if I was doing it “right”, even though we were told at the beginning that there was no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. As I go through my life, it’s important for me to be me. I want to be authentic. I want to walk my path in a way that honors my unique values, style and way of being. When I spend too much time comparing myself to others I tend to go into judgement and then I worry if I am doing it “right”. Staying our of comparison is a regular practice for me. How about you? Where does comparison get in your way?
6. Trust yourself
This was another one of the whispers I heard along the path. Practicing self-compassion is something that is on the top of my list these days. Imagine what it would be like, in that moment of decision (whatever the decision is) to say to yourself, “Trust yourself!”, “You got this!”, “Whatever comes your way, you’ll be able to handle it!”. These words, for me, are some of the most self-compassionate things I can say to myself. Yes, I am unsure about exactly how I am going to take my coaching business to the next level. Yes, it feels risky putting my self out there, but I got this! I trust myself! Where do you need to remind yourself to trust yourself?
7. Don’t be afraid to be both a leader and a follower
When it comes to life I realize that there are people who are on a similar path as me. Some are ahead of me and some are behind me. I used to believe that I was either a leader or a follower, but that I couldn’t be both at the same time. Now I believe that it is absolutely possible to be both at the same time. I can learn from those that have gone before me, while at the same time leading those that are coming up behind me. In my life I am often hesitant to call myself a “leader” because I am usually looking ahead and realizing that I am “following” those that have gone before me. How can I be a leader if I am a follower? The labyrinth taught me that I can indeed be both at the same time.
As I reflect on my takeaways from my experience last week, I am experiencing an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so grateful that I am surrounded by a community of supportive fellow life travelers. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Thank you for allowing me to be both a leader and a follower!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 1, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
What is a Labyrinth?
A labyrinth can be many things to many people. It may be used for relaxation, meditation, healing, spiritual guidance, reconnection within, awakening of creativity, self –empowerment, decision-making, celebration, and simply for the fun of it.It’s important to note that it is a spiritual practice and is not a magical tool. The process can be done as often as we like for body, heart, mind, and spiritual well-being.
It’s important to note that there is no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. A basic approach is to quiet the mind and open the heart. It has sometimes been called “body prayer” or walking meditation as we let go of thinking and move with intention. There is only one way in, and one way out. It isn’t a puzzle or maze to be solved so we can disengage from mental activity and simply be present.
It may be viewed as a metaphor for life’s journey – the path inward represents letting go of the cares of the world; the center is the place of transformation and illumination; the journey out represents the integration of the new self with the old as we seek to be whole.
How do I walk a Labyrinth?
There are several parts to walking a labyrinth which you may consider as you approach your experience. Feel free to adopt what feels best for you. Honor your own process.
Before you begin:
Consider how you want to feel the ground beneath your feet and decide if you will walk with or without shoes. At the entrance to the labyrinth, pause and open your senses as you center yourself with a few deep breaths. Acknowledge your coming meditative or spiritual journey with the labyrinth by perhaps closing your eyes, saying a prayer, bowing your head, waist, or knees and set the intention for your walk.
Possible Intentions:
- Why am I here?
- What physical, emotional, or soul need brings me here today?
- What do I need to let go of at this time to manifest the next step in my life?
- What do I need to bring into my life to take that next step?
- Ask for clarity on an important matter in your life.
- Ask for guidance in making an important decision.
- Ask to be awakened to the resources you need to manifest your soul’s desires.
- Harmonize with the energy of the labyrinth.
- Honor yourself for following your soul’s journey.
- Express gratitude for all that you have.
- Ask for nothing. Just listen.
Begin your Walk Inward:
The first step sets the pace for your walk. It can be fast or slow depending on your intention. Are you being spiritual, reflective, mindful, playful, creative, or something else? If you’re problem solving, your walk becomes a meditation when you surrender all your problems and just walk. Other parts of you have now a chance to process your request of a solution. If you are very upset: fast walking releases those emotions easier. Most people try calming their mind by taking slow and deliberate steps.
Many use the inward journey to the center as a “letting go” – a quieting of the thoughts, worries, concerns, ‘what ifs’, and to-do lists. Try to keep your mind open, and release thoughts each time they arise. Concentrate on the placement of one foot before the other and rhythmic, gentle and regular breathing.
If the intention of your walk is to solve a problem, walk as if you didn’t have the problem…let it go. Surrender to the activity of attentive walking. Let your burdens fall off your shoulders and allow the various parts of your being to process your wish for a solution. Let it incubate and try not to interfere or direct a solution. Let go of any expectations.
If you’re walking for a spiritual connection or to seek creative inspiration….again, let go of expectations and surrender to the experience of mindful walking.
At the Center:
The rosette in the middle is where you ‘let in’ the answers and blessings that are meant for you. Pause at the center of the labyrinth for as long or short as you like. You may stay here awhile in the posture of your choosing; stand, sit, lay down, do a yoga pose, bow, reach your hands upwards….whatever feels best for you. You may want to say a prayer, reflect, meditate, listen for answers and deeper revelations, or express gratitude depending on the intention of your walk. Take all the time you need as you move through your inner process. Quietly receive what is meant for you.
Walking Outward:
When you are ready, accept what you have received, and begin walking deliberatively outward. Allow the insights and gifts you’ve been given to integrate into your heart and soul. As you move back into your life be empowered by the connection you have received through your body, heart, mind and spirit. Invite it to transform your life and move you along your path to wholeness. Express gratitude for what you have received in the way that feels best to you.
Exiting:
When you exit the labyrinth you may want to continue walking, reflecting and praying, or take time to sit and journal about your experience. Do what you need to absorb the benefits of your experience.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to [email protected]
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 24, 2014 | Guest Blogging, Personal Development, Retreats, Self-Care
Today I want to write about our upcoming Wholistic Woman event: Be Calm when we will travel to Bon Secours Retreat Center to do a labyrinth walk and picnic.
I can’t actually write about doing a labyrinth walk… because I’ve never done one.
I have, however, experienced being calm. I actually think I’m a relatively calm person, especially since participating in coach training. I learned how I calm myself when I need to:
- I listen to what I’m saying to myself (my self-talk),
- I write it down,
- I reflect on it,
- I examine it’s level of truth, and I shift to what is really true.
- I try to focus on what is important to me (my values) and what I want in life.
- That calms me.
What does it mean to be calm? One definition I found said that it is “a condition free of storms, high wind, and rough water”, and I thought…that’s impossible in the turbulent lives we lead.
Another definition said that it is “a state of tranquility.” That’s attractive to me. I picture a pond that looks like glass, soft sounds in the background, crystal clear fresh air, and blue sky, I feel centered, whole, confident, and clear.
The main definition is “a quiet and peaceful state or condition, a peaceful mental or emotional state”. That sounds great! I want more of that.
How do we get there? I know I have techniques that work for me and I am open to learning new ones. I hear Bon Secours is a beautiful place with ponds, gardens, and an opportunity to reflect. I look forward to walking the labyrinth with other women in the wholistic community and looking inward to see what new level of calm I can achieve.
Please join me in this new experience! Click here for details and to register.
Today’s author: Lisa DiSciullo, CPCC, is a Certified Life Coach in Summit, NJ, with her own practice working with her clients as they are developing clarity, growth, and fulfillment in their lives. She is a founding member of the Wholistic Woman Retreats group and a Parent Educator with the Parent Encouragement Program. She can be reached at [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 8, 2014 | Kelye Rouse-Brown, Retreats
As I sit and twirl in my new hammock tree swing I feel my mom’s arms wrapped around me. I just got this beautiful visual from my new writer friend who helped me feel the hug this morning. My summer has been one that is filled with anxiety and worry and stillness and calm. That’s because I have been working on my Tree of Life garden to honor my mom and feel her presence. I was reminded I don’t have to rush through the process to create this space and can take my time, hence the anxiety and now stillness and calm. It’s been over a year that I have started this planning, first with an ornament on the tree to set the focus and stone steps leading to the strong tree. Then colorful river rocks filling the space under the tree, a bench from my mom’s garden, a birdbath and now a cuddly swing to drink coffee in the morning in. The space is serene and I feel her presence. Friends and family have dropped off plants from their gardens or helped me in the garden and this has helped me with the process, one that I don’t think will ever end. This is a process that is creating less and less anxiety for me and now more still and calm. I have always enjoyed these meditative spaces to calm my soul and am feeling so joyful one is in my back yard now.
If you are searching for space to provide calmness and serenity consider joining our Be Calm event on October 4th (Click here for details) that will include a labyrinth, an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space. This visual alone makes me think of my tree hugging swing above my circular stones below me in my space leading the way. Stay or move along and be wrapped in hugs today.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website www.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 28, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
Do you ever have trouble quieting your mind? Is life so full of activities and obligations that you find it hard to settle down and be calm? At times, I can feel overly busy and in need of some peace and quiet. Can you relate?
When I feel stressed, I know that I need to unplug and focus my attention within. This can take place as a quick meditative moment when I pause and appreciate the beauty of nature, or listen to a song that touches my heart, or just simply close my eyes and breathe mindfully. At other times I need more than just a moment and I turn to different ways to settle my body, heart, mind and spirit.
One way that I focus my attention within is to hold a special heart-shaped stone that has a spiral etched onto its surface. It fits perfectly into the palm of my hand and the weight of its solidness is somehow comforting as I hold it. When I gaze at the spiral in this stone I am reminded of a labyrinth.
The path of a labyrinth is also in the shape of a spiral. When I walk a labyrinth, I feel as if I am traveling inward to my core. Whether I walk meditatively, joyously, or thoughtfully, when I reach the center, I linger to savor the experience before mindfully walking outward…back into the world.
Labyrinth walking is an ancient practice used by many different faiths for spiritual centering, prayer, or contemplation. As I walk the labyrinth inward, I connect with my intuition, to that inner wisdom that is uniquely my own. Then as I walk the spiral outward I prepare to take that insight into my life. For me, a labyrinth symbolizes the balancing act between being and doing. As I center myself I am focused and present. Then, when I return to my daily activities I am stronger and better able to handle the challenges before me.
How do you walk a labyrinth?
Before I begin my walk, I consider how I want to approach the experience. I may want to connect with feelings of joy or gratitude as I move forward. Or perhaps I have a problem that is weighing heavy on my mind or heart. If so, I may set the intention to receive guidance about that problem as I enter the labyrinth. I state the problem, take a few mindful breaths, and then walk the spiraled path inward towards its center. Clearing my mind of all thoughts and releasing the need to solve the problem, I practice being receptive and open to answers that arise through my heart and spirit. I allow imagery, creativity, and intuition, to lead me and I let go of thinking.
Labyrinths are sometimes confused with mazes. A maze has twists and turns, and dead ends. It is a puzzle to be solved and requires thinking and logic. By contrast, a labyrinth offers only one way in, and one way out, so you don’t have to think about anything as you walk. This makes it easier to let go of thoughts and to settle into your heart and spirit.
It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience a labyrinth. The only choices to make are whether or not to enter it and how you would like to approach it. What attitude will accompany you on the walk? Will it be meditative, joyous, grateful, seeking, or perhaps prayerful? You may want to listen to music, recite a centering prayer or mantra, or focus on your breath as it goes in and out. The choice is yours. As you pay attention to your experience of this inward journey to your heart, be aware and open to the guidance that this centering exercise offers you. Be sure to let it settle into your being when you pause at the center of the labyrinth’s spiral and then bring this feeling with you as you walk the path outwards, back into life.
I believe that calmness and balance are within our reach when we practice being present with ourselves, and being receptive to the guidance that the Universe and God has to offer us. By letting go of busyness, and opening our hearts to receive inner wisdom, we can return to the activities of daily life clearer about our purpose and who we are.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to [email protected]
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2014 | Health, Laura Hall
Tomorrow, Friday, August 22nd, 2014 is the first day of Farm-to-Fork Frederick. This is an 11 day event where restaurants in Frederick County Maryland and local farmers enter into a supportive partnership to create a special menu where at least 70% of the ingredients are grown and raised from farms in Frederick County. This event is special to Wholistic Woman Retreats because one of our members, Miriam Nasuti, is the founder of Farm-to-Fork Frederick and we are proud to be a sponsor of this event.
Really, this event is about forging healthy relationships between food suppliers, local food establishments and the community. It’s about creating a win-win in both the personal and professional relationships of all involved. It’s about making connections and opening up opportunities for growth. Miriam is walking the talk of what it means to be a Wholistic Woman. In my opinion, she is nurturing wholistic relationships. Hmm…I think I just made up a new term…Wholistic Relationships!
On our Wholistic Woman website, we define wholistic as “intentionally growing each aspect of your unique self – body, heart, mind and spirit – in order to achieve greater confidence in expressing yourself authentically, both personally and professionally”. Using this as a guide, I’d like to suggest that the definition of a wholistic relationship would be a relationship in which both parties willfully and intentionally connect for the purpose of growth as well as to practice authentic expression of their unique self.
What are the components of a healthy, wholistic relationship?
Here is the list I’ve come up with: (so far)
- They support the growth of both parties
- Both parties are willing to practice the 60/40 rule which simply states that you strive to give 60% and take 40%
- Each person feels seen, heard and knows they matter
- Communication is authentic even when its uncomfortable
- Active listening is practiced
Now I know this community is full of people who are practicing being in healthy, constructive relationships both personally and professionally and we’d like to hear from you! What do you think needs to be added to the list? Let’s keep this dialog going! Please give us your thought to the question in the comments section.
Oprah Winfrey says, “Every single person you will ever meet shares a common desire. They want to know: Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?” I use this quote on a daily basis. I strive to see, hear, and acknowledge and validate every person I come into contact with…from the cashier behind the counter to those I love dearly. I’ve also let go of relationships where I am not getting this in return. For me, relationships are a 2-way street and I know I deserve to be seen, heard and acknowledged. I am no longer willing to give less or to settle for less.
Next week, I will be supporting Farm to Fork Frederick by dining out with my wholistic friends. I encourage you to consider doing the same. Spending time with the people who are special to us is important and I can’t think of a better way than over a meal at one of the Farm to Fork restaurants. You can get more information by clicking here.
In the mean time, don’t forget to give us your input on what makes up a wholistic relationship. Thanks!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 13, 2014 | Business, Kelye Rouse-Brown
“Lean towards joy and listening, and away from giving advice.”
That was the message to kick off my weekend retreat at Kripalu in the beautiful Berkshires area. I have always been interested in learning about positivity and happiness so I joined Dr. Maria Sirois on Introduction to Positive Psychology along with my oldest dearest friend Susie that I have known for 40 years. Many of you that know me have said why you would want to learn about happiness and positivity since you are that way. For me it was simple, learn some of the statistics around the benefits of these themes in life that I am so passionate about and pass along. Yes, it was a little scientific experiment I took in a relaxing environment and came away renewed with more spirit!
Positive psychology was referred to as the scientific study of optimal human functioning and officially launched as a field in 1998. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar first taught a seminar at Harvard on this fairly newer topic in 2002 with 8 students enrolled and 2 dropped out. The objective was what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives. The following year the class went public and 380 students signed up. The evaluations showed the class improved the quality of one’s life. Well, the next time the class was offered it grew to 855 students enrolled, which made it the largest class at Harvard University.
A few years ago I did a workshop on “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” that got me thinking about how to help others lead a happier life. It’s no surprise more often we hear people focus on the negative or remember negative experiences more than positive and that’s in part how positive psychology came about. Psychologists focus on how to help human problems and course correct versus why people are happy and build on that. There have been many positive psychology teams that go into companies to create a balance and shift and help turn a “positive” profit. So in business, positivity equals profit.
As someone who has always been in human resources and the people business, I can’t help but get excited about this field. Guess what the percentage of genetics and intentional activity are in determining happiness? Yes, it’s almost 50/50. To be more exact fifty percent of our happiness comes from our genes and forty percent from our intentional activity, with the exception of 10% are life circumstances says Sonja Lyubomirsky. Happiness is not out there for us to find, it’s in us to find. I love the quote from Abraham Lincoln,
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
It’s true! We choose to change our negative state of mind to push through to find happiness.
Some of my favorite happiness boost are expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism and acts of kindness. There is a long list by Sonja Lyubomirsky that goes on to taking care of your body with steady exercise and meditation. One I am working on and will continue with our Be Whole, Be Calm event designed to relax your mind and walk a meditative labyrinth. I walked the labyrinth at the Kripalu Wellness and Yoga center and was reminded to pause and savor life’s joys and listen as advised the start of my weekend. These retreats fill my happiness bucket one day, one weekend at a time.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website http://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 30, 2014 | Business, Courage, Fear, Guest Blogging, Personal Development, Professional Development
We are happy to welcome Kim Dow, our fabulous Wholistic Woman Alliance Partner, graphic designer, and today’s guest blogger as she shares what she learned at the Be Courageous Retreat.
I have a healthy fear of heights. It’s cool, I’m not afraid to admit it!
But, recently, I set a goal for myself and conquered that fear. I joined our client, Wholistic Woman Retreats, for their annual “Be Courageous” event at Upward Enterprises, a zip lining and ropes challenge course in Buckeystown, MD.
Amidst the zipping and free-fall swing fun, lay the “Leap of Faith” (possibly mistaken as the Leap of Death…but whatever). A towering site where you climb up a single telephone pole, using just small hooks to brace your feet and cling to with your hands. Once you reach the top, you have to maneuver yourself around on a small plateau to face yourself outwards. Then, you jump off the top of the pole, aiming for a trapeze hanging in mid air. No biggie, right? WRONG!
Holy. Crap. Despite having done this challenge once several years ago (or maybe because of it), and knowing that I was safely harnessed in…my heart was still beating, my legs were still shaking and my brain was still screaming at me “Abort, Abort—We Are Up WAY Too High!” But, I kept my goal in mind and found the strength and inner will to keep climbing—to keep going for it and conquer the fear.
This experience is no different than what we face as entrepreneurs. Business owners face many fears—fear of failure. Fear of where your next job or payment will come from. Fear of change. Fear of not being able to pay your employees or yourself. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of the unknown. I think it’s safe to say that starting and owning your own business can, at times, be downright scary. But, you always have to try and overcome those fears—sometimes even embracing them—and keep moving forward to your end goal(s). To continuously push yourself and to keep moving forward, knowing those fears and the risks are just a part of the journey.
For me, back on that 20-something high (okay, so I don’t really know how high it was, but let me tell you when you’re at the top of it, it feels twice as high as it looks!) it wasn’t the jumping off part that was the scariest. It was the climb. Especially when I was almost at the very top…that was the hardest part. And isn’t that the same with our business as well? It’s the planning, the strategizing, all the hard work that leads us to that “top” (whatever point or end goal that may be for you). Once you’ve made that climb, it almost seems easy to take that final “Leap of Faith” and jump off!
And hey, it’s okay if you have to take a break on the way up—catch your breath, gather your thoughts, adjust your climbing strategy. But, just be sure to keep climbing, because it’s worth it!
Another important aspect of my Leap of Faith experience was the positive encouragement and cheering received from all those watching (and the fact that I, in turn got to cheer others on when my turn was over). The encouraging, supportive words truly made it easier to keep going! And I believe this is also a very important aspect of entrepreneurship. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family and colleagues—it definitely can make a huge difference, especially when you doubt yourself!
A special thank you to Wholistic Women Retreats and the coaches who plan this amazing event each year. And another huge thanks to Clive Felgate and his amazing team at Upward Enterprises. I can’t wait for next year’s adventure!
Kim Dow is owner of Kalico Design, a creative and wholistic graphic design firm in Frederick, Md. You can learn more about Kim and her company by visiting www.kalicodesign.com
Thank you to Mary Kate McKenna Photography for great shots of this fun event!
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 21, 2014 | Courage, Guest Blogging, Personal Development, Professional Development
Last week’s Zip, Swing, and Leap event was an enlightening experience. The evening started with Carol recommending to each of the women to observe themselves and their experience, as that is the best way to learn from the activity. I was a floater coach, a supporter of the participants, ropes team, and the event. I learned not by actually doing the events, but by supporting and observing others.
Throughout the evening I witnessed the power of women deciding they CAN. That they are able, they will trust, they know they are supported, and they are scared to death and are going to do it anyway.
I spent most of my time that night at Leap of Faith. The Leap of Faith requires a full body harness that, once you jump, holds you at the back of your neck, like Peter Pan flying across the stage on Broadway. Once in the harness, you climb a telephone pole, turn around on the top, stand tall for a photo, focus on a trapeze about 8 (feels like 8000) feet in front of you, count down 3-2-1 (to let Clive, our fearless spotter know it’s time) then leap full out to grab a trapeze.
I could see the fear on women’s faces, I could also SEE the decision when they took the jump – 3…2…1……leap! I could see the triumph and thrill of completion.
I also saw people on the ground decide “I’m not doing that!”. One woman got halfway up the pole and decided to go back down, she told me later that she had had a hip replacement and felt a tweak and didn’t want to risk injury. I was impressed with her clarity in prioritizing her health over taking the risk. I saw others decide it was not the night for them. Whatever the decision was for each woman, they followed through. I was so clear throughout the night that we all decide our experience.
Later when I read through the feedback forms that the participants had filled out, I saw over and over again, when asked what attracted them to the retreat, “I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone”, then, when asked what did you get out of this, “I was afraid, and I did it!“ and “That I can do this”.
So how will these women take this out into their lives, how will I take it out into mine, how can you take it into yours?
Know that no matter what you are faced with, you will take all available information into account, evaluate, decide, do. It puts the power in you, the steering wheel of your life in your hands.
Think of the many decisions we need to make in our lives: Will I accept this job offer? Will I marry this person? Will I eat this extra cookie? Will I make it to the meeting on time? Will I lose that 10 pounds? Will I live a life of meaning?
What are you deciding, what can you do, what will you opt not to do? You have the power.
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.” – Anthony Robbins
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.” – Abraham Lincoln
Today’s author: Lisa DiSciullo, CPCC, is a Certified Life Coach in Summit, NJ, with her own practice working with her clients as they are developing clarity, growth, and fulfillment in their lives. She is a founding member of the Wholistic Woman Retreats group and a Parent Educator with the Parent Encouragement Program. She can be reached at [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 7, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Courage, Fear
Harnessed by strong cables, I found myself in an unusual position high in the trees… facing upwards and glimpsing patches of blue sky. A team of eight women had pulled me into this position and awaited my decision to release the cord which would drop me into a free-fall swing through the tree tops. Butterflies swirled in my stomach and my breathing grew rapid as I allowed myself to fully experience this strange suspension in the air. Time felt suspended, too, as I savored this momentary mixture of calm and electrifying anticipation.
Encouragement from the women below wafted up to my ears and I knew I had the full support of my team. “You can do it!” and “Go for it!” let me know that they believed in me. They saw the courage and trust that it took to climb into this precarious position and knew the important role that they played in providing support as I took this well-calculated risk. I had given encouragement to them when they had been in this position and now it was my turn to receive it.
I held my breath for a moment, then with the thought Here goes, I pulled the cord. My body dropped several feet and the industrial-sized cables caught my weight and safely sent me soaring through the tree tops. A scream of excitement escaped my lips, followed by loud whoops of joy, as I swung back and forth high above the people cheering below. I felt like a school-girl as my legs pumped to keep the swinging movement going as long as possible before my turn ended.
When I came to a stop, I descended the ladder with a mile-wide grin and received hugs and pats-on-the-back as my team congratulated me. I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment that flowed from overcoming something that scared me.
You see, earlier that day I was uncertain if I would actually do the free-fall swing. It was similar to how I had felt about doing the zip line several years ago when it was first offered at a Wholistic Woman Retreat. With team support I had overcome that fear and had enjoyed the thrill of zip line rides several times since then. I had learned to love it. In a similar way, I decided to do the swing after watching other women successfully do it. I was so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and experienced it with this fun and supportive group of women.
What does it take for you to be brave and overcome your fears? Do you need the support and encouragement of others? Does it help to see other people going first so that you can observe the challenge before you step into it yourself? Do you want to know that it’s okay to express yourself in whatever way you need to… whether that means screaming, cursing, crying, or laughing? Do you need information to know that you are safe? What helps you to be courageous?
The truth is that we face our fears every day. Some of us are dealing with frightening medical diagnoses, wayward children, conditional love, issues with spouses, financial instability, loneliness, changing circumstances, crime, war, and the list goes on and on. How do we find the courage to face these challenges?
I’d like to suggest these three steps:
Identify the fear. This step is hard because it feels vulnerable to admit that we are afraid. However, it’s crucial that we name what scares us in order to begin releasing the hold it has over us.
Have a support team. Surround yourself with people who you trust and who are modeling brave behavior. They will inspire you to be more courageous and will applaud both your major and minor accomplishments.
Take small steps. Bravery grows every time you do something that scares you. For some of us that may be speaking in public, publishing a book, or trying a new physical challenge….our fears vary and are as unique as our fingerprints. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Not to frighten yourself but to grow more confident and skillful at overcoming whatever is holding you back. Develop courage and resilience by facing and navigating your fears one small step at a time.
What step will you take today to practice being brave?
An Invitation:
On the evening of July 15th, at the Be Courageous Retreat from 5:30-8:30 pm, women will have the opportunity to Zip, Swing, and Leap out of their comfort zone.
Now that I’ve mastered my fear of the zip line and swing I look forward to doing them again for fun. This year I am anticipating the opportunity to do a new challenge: The Leap of Faith – jumping from the top of a telephone pole to a trapeze bar while attached to a safety line. I’m not sure if I’m going to do it yet and trust that I will make that decision when I’m there. Whether I am cheering others on or receiving support as I take the leap, I will be fully present and engaged with the experience. Either way will be fine. One of the things I love about this community of women is the permission to be myself. I am good enough just as I am, and so are you.
If you would like to try one, two, or all three of these physical challenges with the support of an encouraging group of women who are practicing being brave, then register by July 10th to secure your spot and plan to join us for a picnic dinner afterwards to celebrate your accomplishment!
Click here if you want to see two short videos of Coach Carol’s free-fall swing and the team support afterwards.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker, author, and coach specializing in strengths-based leadership development. She is also co-founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats which offers fun, enriching, and supportive events for women-on-the-grow. Write to her at [email protected] or visit her website: www.caroldelaski.com for more information about her speaking and coaching services.
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