Missy & Flo: Spa Day
If you haven’t seen our Missy & Flo video series, you should watch it now! A series of 8 videos, our coaches share self-care tips in a fun and engaging way. Here’s the fourth video in the series:
Happy Pies
In August, my Be Positive evening retreat, based on Gratitude and Positivity, focused on how 40% of our happiness comes from intentional activity and the group ideas generated from the retreat exercise made us feel 100%. I explained how author Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research shows 10% of our happiness comes from life circumstances, 50% is from genetics, and 40% from intentional activities. This breakdown is turned into the Happy Pie – the representation of what we can do for ourselves to be happy!
Over 30 women put energy into what they can intentionally do to create their happy pie! After giving each group an opportunity to describe ingredients to create a whole pie, they came up with Fulfilled Pie, Soul Pie, Whoopi Pie, Peppy Pie, and Positivity Peachy Pie! They were ready to embrace what they had control of, such as:
- Being in Nature
- Making their Bed
- Self -Compassion and Gratitude
- Pet Love
- Connection, Dance, and Laughter
What are your intentional activities to feel whole and happy?
The practice of gratitude, or being in the present moment here and now, is many things to many people. During Be Positive, we discussed how expanding our horizons to express gratitude gave us more energy and positive emotions, and as a bonus, it has many health benefits as well. The happiness tool I often use to measure positive change is If I were 3% more grateful in my day, I would ______________.
I was over three percent more grateful to partner with Cathy Hansen, a certified Laughing Yoga instructor, to help us put some of these intentional activities into practice. We focused on many ideas, but here are five we explored:
- Journaling – A healthy way to reflect on the day in a written way. Take time to reconnect with yourself and your thoughts on paper.
- Smile – Everyone knows that when you’re happy, you smile, but it’s also true that when you smile, you are happy.
- Compliments – Brightening someone else’s day also brightens your own. Sincerity is a key component as well.
- Volunteer – Helping others, like victims of Hurricane Harvey or more recent Hurricane Irma, is a great way to boost how you feel about yourself.
- Meditation – Take 2 minutes to be calm and silent. Clear your mind and be present.
What are habits you create to find the positive side of your situations?
Whatever your habits are, if being more positive is on your mind – move forward with some of these or try something else without overthinking. Shake it off. It’s time to cut loose and have some fun. We think so much all day, every day, so start to set aside some thoughts for you. Don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy your fresh Happy Pie!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
New Partner Coaches in 2018!
Wholistic Woman Retreats is excited to announce the addition of FOUR new partner coaches to our team! We now have three Wholistic Woman coaches: Carol, Laura, and Kelye, and our roster of six partner coaches: Donna Kettell, Jane Helm, Casey Clark, Kim Wilson, Kat Middleton, and Elisabeth Vismans. Join us in welcoming these fabulous coaches to Wholistic Woman! We’re equally delighted to welcome back Donna and Jane as partner coaches in the coming year.
More information for our new coaches will be coming in the next few weeks. Casey and Kim are focusing on health and wellness coaching, while Kat and Elisabeth are life coaches.
2018 is going to be an exciting year packed full of exciting retreats and events! You won’t want to miss the wonderful programs our coaches are developing for our Wholistic Woman community!
Fearlessness
What are you afraid of? I have several “top of the list” fears: heights, bees, and certain types of reptiles! These fears are easy to manage. I don’t step too close to the edge of anything that is way up in the sky, I don’t wear perfume in the summer, and I hardly ever have to deal with reptiles. These sources of fright can be managed by lifestyle choices.
There is another type of fear that is more challenging to navigate. It can keep us from everyday activities, or trying something new. It holds us back even when we know it may be in our best interest to meet new people, try something new, speak up, shut up, or show up. Doubt plays a big role in this insidious version of fear. Doubt is the voice of the naysayer, the one who attempts to shout over our inner cheerleader. Both voices compete in our minds when we are trying to be fearless.
The naysayer lurks in a self-induced shadow of doubt and hides behind our feelings of inadequacy. It reminds us of our previous failures, the times when things didn’t work out. It’s comfort zone is a deep cavern of uncertainty. It can smother our hopes and dreams like a security blanket that is woven with the yarn of perfectionism, comparison, and scarcity. We can find ourselves sleepily going along in life, listening to the lullaby in this safety zone.
I have learned that when I listen to the cheerleader, I become more confident. The voice that is telling me to “go for it” has rarely been wrong. She encourages me and reminds me that anything is possible. Sure, I’ve been premature with some of my fearlessness, but I know that the more I trust her, the quieter her competition becomes. The shadows of doubt dwindle in the light of her spirit.
Fearlessness takes practice. I have found that taking some small, courageous steps creates the building blocks I’ve needed on my journey to finding my bravest self. Like a toddler learning to walk, I’ve steadied myself with each step. Sometimes, I’ve fallen anyway. When I do, the cheerleader reminds me to get back up, face the fear again, and step towards the courage I am seeking. These steps have ultimately led to leaps of faith, the ones that feel scary, but also exhilarating!
Listen to your cheerleader…you know who she is. She is the one saying, “You got this!”
And you do!
If you would like to learn more about being fearless…especially with your finances, I invite you to join me for the next Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat: Be Financially Fearless on September 27th from 5:30-7:30 pm in Frederick, MD.
Today’s Author: Jane Helm is the Principal of Money Mentor Group. As a wealth coach, Jane combines decades of financial services experience with a degree in social work and psychology to bring positive financial change to her client’s lives. She is a Partner Coach with the Wholistic Coaching Coalition and co-founded the Build Your Own Business networking group. Jane can be reached via email at [email protected]
Laughing is Good for You
Do you like to laugh?
How do you do it? Are you one who likes to giggle, guffaw, snort… or do you smile quietly when something tickles your fancy?
I’ve been thinking about the importance of a good laugh lately. At times, I take humor for granted but now it’s becoming clearer just how necessary laughing is for my wellbeing…and the wellbeing of my loved ones.
Laughter releases tension, fear, and anxiety that weigh us down. It forms momentary time capsules of joy that bubble up from our center and burst effortlessly from our lips.
Who can you count on for a good laugh?
My mom and I like to giggle together. She’s almost 87 years old and I’ve noticed that her love of laugher increases with each passing year. She laughs more at herself than ever before…and I often find myself laughing with her. Whether it’s over something she can’t remember (like mixing up the names of all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren) or something she can’t do anymore – like climb into a SUV and sit down gracefully in one fell swoop. Laughing at herself seems to make aging less stressful.
Don’t get me wrong, Mom has a positive, ‘can-do’ attitude which hasn’t diminished as she ages. On a recent vacation to the lake she was determined to participate in all activities as fully as possible. Even though it was challenging, she walked the bouncy dock (with some assistance) to board our pontoon boat each day. Swimming and tubing on the lake makes boaters hungry so we would often stop for a treat of delicious homemade ice cream at the Lakeside Creamery.
The floating dock below the creamery is in cross currents that make it especially bouncy. I wasn’t sure if Mom could successfully navigate this dock even with help. She was determined to have fun (and ice cream) so Mom linked arms with my fiancé Greg and I. With us on either side of her we carefully made our way down the dock to the base of the wooden steps that led up the hillside to our frozen treats. We must have looked like three drunken sailors as we staggered this way and that way down the dock! It was a little scary but more than anything it was adventurous and fun. We laughed in joy fully appreciating that we were in it together, living, loving, and laughing our way forward. My Mom models for me and many what it’s like to age gracefully, as well as the importance of maintaining a positive attitude in the face of challenges.
Who do you know that laughs at herself (or himself) often?
Who reminds you to lighten up and not be too serious?
I’m especially aware of laughter’s value this week as a beloved family member faces a serious health diagnosis. It may seem odd to talk of laughter in the midst of a trial; however, I’m struck by just how important humor is in this sobering time. It offers a counter-balance to the understandable anxiety and fear that comes with uncertainty.
Our family, like many, loves to laugh together. As we recall memories and retell favorite stories we connect yet again with one another and deepen our bonds. Telling jokes, laughing at our own antics, and being downright silly, lightens the load, even if just for a moment.
In addition to recalling fond memories we are intentionally creating new ones each day. So while we await more test results we spend precious time together. Quality time is one of the 5 love languages and tops my list. I value it more than ever in the face of this diagnosis. To me, quality time means savoring opportunities to give hugs, to talk, smile, pray, and laugh; to enjoy one another in the simple activities of life shared together.
The source of our amusement may be the antics of small children, the family dogs, or even something as mundane as the weather. Unexpected joy bubbles up when we get soaked in a surprise rainstorm, see a rainbow after that storm, or leisurely enjoy a nourishing meal and conversation. Ultimately, it’s just about being together.
Being ‘in the moment’ can be challenging on a typical day and even more so during fearful times. Anxiety can send us into ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ mode. In these times, I find it helpful to remember that light-heartedness is a tension-reliever and can offer an element of hope. If we can still laugh, then life must still be good on some level…even when the news we face is scary and frightful.
Balance is a choice. I remind myself to counter-balance fear with love… sad with happy…tears with laughter. When I feel that life is spinning out of control, I turn to prayers that stretch out beyond me to a God that I believe knows all…and is working for good in all circumstances.
How will you balance the moments you’re given today?
Whatever this day brings, I encourage you to take time to laugh…whether you throw your head back with a great ‘HaHaHa’ or quietly giggle to yourself…savor the feeling. Remember how precious the gift of joy is each day.
Then, after you’ve savored it…spread it to around; be a source of joy for others. I invite you to join me in being a source of love and laughter!
If you’d like to learn more about cultivating positivity and experience Laughter Yoga, I invite you to the Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat: Be Positive on August 30th from 5:30-7:30 pm. I hope to see you there!
Today’s Author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an executive coach, founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats, and author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. Learn more about her coaching and training services at www.caroldelaski.com or email her at: [email protected].
Missy & Flo: Tea Time
While we do address tough and emotional issues during coaching, Wholistic Woman also has a fun side! If you haven’t seen our Missy & Flo video series, you should watch it now! A series of 8 videos, our coaches share self-care tips in a fun and engaging way. Here’s the third video in the series:
Cultivate Happiness
Lean towards joy and listening and away from giving advice.
This was a great headliner to learning about positivity and happiness in An Introduction to Positive Psychology with Dr. Maria Sirois in beautiful Berkshires, MA. My oldest and dearest friend joined me and now we make an effort to fill our happy bucket year after year, like earlier in May when we celebrated our milestone birthdays together in Rhode Island. We savored the crashing water against the rocks along the cliff walk and enjoyed the historical mansions.
Another magical time in the month of May was my first hot air balloon ride that took my breath away with more special gems in my life. We just floated in the air and didn’t even feel the take-off, much different than my usual airplane rides. The pilot was so cool, it was like being carried away with the great Oz from the Wizard of Oz. I fell in love with Santé Fe, NM on a higher level. It seems when you take the time to plan for happy events, they will happen… the sky’s the limit, and life can be more joyful.
What happy events do you have planned?
Positive psychology was referred to as the scientific study of optimal human functioning and officially launched as a field in 1998. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar was highly talked about at the retreat and he first taught a seminar at Harvard on this fairly new topic in 2002 with eight students enrolled and two dropped out. The objective of the class was what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives. The following year the class went public and 380 students signed up. The evaluations showed the class improved the quality of one’s life. Well, the next time the class was offered it grew to 855 students enrolled, which made it the largest class at Harvard University.
What education class are you most looking forward to learn, grow, and feel happier?
There are many definitions for both positive psychology and the science of happiness, but the simple answer is that positive psychology is a subset within the broader field we call the science of happiness. Positive Psychology focuses largely on the study of positive emotions and the science of happiness focuses on areas such as exercise and psychological well-being.
The topic is very popular and soon after our retreat in the Berkshires, my next education event followed up with more Positive Psychology and I was introduced to Valorie Burton, Founder of the Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute. I loved her spirit and presentation. One of my favorite parts of her presentation was her happiness boosters. You might consider taking her online happy woman test by going to happywomantest.com and find out your top triggers to boost your happiness. It only takes about 10 minutes and you will learn your happiness quotient that you can focus on for improvement over time. For example, anticipation is great when you have something to look forward to, like a trip to Rhode Island with an old girlfriend or a flight like no other. Here are Valorie Burton’s 13 happiness boosters:
- Play
- Purpose
- Gratitude
- Savoring
- Relaxation
- Flow
- Service
- Smile
- Connection
- Movement
- Winning Words
- Financial Savvy
- Anticipation
What happiness boosters are you most satisfied with? What would you like more of?
After taking the happiness test, some of my top boosters were gratitude, smile, and service. These and more will be discussed further at my upcoming Be You series session, Be Positive, on August 30th at Brewer’s Alley. Come join us and be reminded to pause and savor life’s joys. I look forward to sharing a happy retreat with you!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
What’s On Your Playlist?
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing” ~ George Bernard Shaw
I turned 50 this year and as a gift to myself, my family, and my friends, I took the time to put together a list of 50 things I’ve learned over 50 years. You can click here if you’d like to read the entire list 🙂
#18 on the list was “Don’t forget how to play and have fun!”.
I am naturally a playful person. I love being silly and make it a point to not take myself too seriously. My nickname is “Fun-sized” and while this might have to do with my physical stature – I stand 5’ 1/2” on a good day – I also think it comes from the fact that I make a point to build fun and play into my life on a regular basis. As kids, we all knew how to play…it just came naturally, but somewhere along the line, many of us either forget how to play or we stop making is a priority. Why is that? Is it because we are self-conscious and worried about how we will look if we allow ourselves to be silly? Is it because we are so focused on achievement that we are afraid if we stop to play we will fall behind our peers? Is it because someone told us we needed to grow up and we took this to mean we needed to stop playing? Is it some other reason? (I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!)
Play has been on my mind a lot recently as we just held our Wholistic Scavenger Hunt evening retreat in and around Baker Park in Frederick, Maryland. As part of the planning committee, it was our intention to create an event that was fun and playful while at the same time challenged participants to step outside their comfort zone. Feedback is that we were able to create just such an event. It warmed my heart and soul to see so many women taking time out of their busy schedules to just play! If you were one of the participants, what was the event like for you? Were you able to play and have fun?
As a student and teacher of The Daring Way curriculum – an experiential methodology based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown – I know that play is essential to wholehearted living. I make fun and play a priority. Here are some of the current things on my “playlist”…
- escape rooms (if you don’t know what this is, Google it. I’m sure you have one near you!)
- riding my bike
- puzzles
- going on a motorcycle ride with my hubby
- bootcamp-style exercise with good music and fun friends
- scrapbooking
- playing/drawing with window markers
- cards/board games
- going out with friends
- playing with my dog
- singing in the car at the top of my lungs
Now it’s your turn! What’s on your “playlist”? My hope is that by reading this blog you will be inspired to find a least one small way to play today. Go have some fun!
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
One Small Step….The Power of Momentum
Have you set an intention to do something in your life but feel overwhelmed with all that is required to see that intention realized? Often it seems that you couldn’t possibly have enough time to accomplish this intention and if you’re like me, you may even find yourself mindlessly binge watching a Netflix series instead of tackling this thing that needs to get done because you don’t think you have the energy for the work ahead of you! Sound familiar?
OK, maybe you don’t indulge in a binge watching marathon at all, but you probably have your own personal way of avoiding overwhelming things that you aren’t sure how to tackle effectively. And I’m not just talking about a task like cleaning out a messy closet or losing 10 pounds. It might be something much more significant, like improving a relationship in your life, finding a job that’s aligned with your life purpose, or taking steps to change your life in a significant way.
What do you do when you are trying to avoid getting that significant task, project, or intention addressed?
At times, I have heard myself saying, “Why try to start tackling this mountain of a goal if I can’t imagine getting this completely done today, or sometime soon?” Maybe that thought is driven by some level of perfectionism. When that bubbles up, I remind myself it doesn’t have to be 100% complete, I just need to make progress today or create momentum—that’s a word that really resonates with me. When I wake up in the morning, my mind often runs down a mental checklist of all of the things that I should be getting done. As that mental exercise plays out, I find my energy draining because I know that I have so much more on my to do list than the time I have in the day. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
To raise my energy level, I often do a few simple things that allow me to feel as though I have accomplished something small before attempting to jump into that bigger endeavor. Perhaps it’s making my bed before I go downstairs for breakfast. As I type these words that feels a bit silly, but I have to admit there are days I don’t make my bed at all because I think that there just isn’t time for that. There are just too many other things that need to get done.
P.S.—I know I’m in desperate need of perspective when I tell myself this! Making my bed takes 30 seconds. And do you know what those 30 seconds do for me? They create MOMENTUM for my day! It makes me feel good that I got something done and it makes me feel good that my bedroom looks neat and organized and prompts me to tackle the next bigger task with renewed energy. It’s not the act of making the bed that works (or whatever small thing you do), it’s the fact that any small step can create momentum that launches you into a more productive day.
What small thing could give you that positive energy boost for your day?
So many things can create momentum. Some of my favorite things include mediation, prayer, visualization, and positive affirmations. All of these can quickly shift your mindset and put you on a positive trajectory for your day. Other simple things can also work to create a shift in my perspective. Music is a huge energy shifter for me. Great songs like “Beautiful Day” by U2, “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, “Dream On” by Aerosmith, or another oldie but goodie like “Ain’t No Mountain (High Enough)” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (turned up loudly with dancing involved, of course) never fail to lift me up or remind me that nothing is impossible!
What is one small thing that you might be able to do each day to start your positive momentum?
Once you get the momentum moving for a good day, what is one small thing you can do specifically to get momentum for your important intention?
Something that has worked well for me is to set the stopwatch on my iPhone and tell myself that I am setting this for 30 minutes, and for that time I am going to exclusively work on this task that I don’t really want to tackle. I give myself permission to stop working on it after the 30 minutes no matter how much or how little is done. The only requirement I give myself is that I work with laser focus for the full 30 minutes. I often feel so good about the progress I made because I focused 100% on my important intention and have a sense of accomplishment from that, that I keep going. That’s momentum and it’s critical to keep yourself moving forward!
Today, think about challenging yourself about whether you are carving out the time to focus on the thing that is most important to you right now. Give some thought to what inspires and motivates you. Start your day with those things and build on that motivation to keep momentum throughout your day. You may find that your intentional daily small steps create the momentum you need to keep climbing whatever mountain you need to climb!
Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell. Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
Adventure Awaits on a Wholistic Woman Scavenger Hunt!
Our next big retreat is coming up on July 26: the Wholistic Woman Scavenger Hunt! We will explore areas in downtown Frederick with friends and teams, and afterward meet at Brewer’s Alley for dinner!
See what the Wholistic Woman coaches have to say about the event, and we’ll see you there!
Check out the event page here for more info or to register.