The holidays are here and they can bring lots of fun with family and friends, perhaps baking your favorite Christmas cookies, or decorating a beautiful tree!
At the same time, the holidays can sometimes be stressful, expensive, and leave you feeling very short on time to take care of yourself. I might have just the remedy this year. Consider the idea of giving the gift of YOU rather than a material gift. This can really be an especially nice idea when the whole family or several friends join in.
What’s the benefit of doing this? Well, there are several – you can save some money by giving someone the gift of service and your time. And you can save some time over the holiday season when your gift is “delivered” in 2018! Remember, you will have more available time after the holidays are over. Last but not least, you can give a unique gift, one that only you could ever give — YOU! Give your time to a family member or friend in a way that’s uniquely meaningful for them.
Here are a just few ideas:
Be the gift of helpfulness to your elderly grandmother by offering to do her grocery shopping or other errands for the winter months.
Give the gift of a sanity break to your wonderful neighbors by offering to babysit for their small children so they can go out to dinner on their own.
Give your sweet parents a handmade gift certificate good for one home cooked meal at your home once a week for the year, so you can spend more time with them.
Offer to clean out your sister’s closet for her, since you are good at that and she desperately wants the help!
Offer to sit with a friend as they tackle a task they are dreading – just the company can make the task less daunting!
Tell a neighbor that your gift to them is to shovel all of their snow during January, February, and March.
Offer your busy brother and his wife the gift of a much-needed break by driving their kids to all of their sports practices for a month.
Tell your good friend who just lost her job that you’ll create a fabulous new résumé with her and show her how to create a LinkedIn profile.
The key ingredient in this process is to really imagine what your gift recipient would wish for that would add more joy, relaxation, or just a great big smile on their face. Your gift will leave the recipient knowing that you really thought about them and what they truly needed in their life right now. When your gift is received, your kindness will be remembered far longer than any material gift you might have given.
There are so many fun possibilities, and none of them cost you any time or money over the holidays. You save money, take time to do something nice for others when you have more available time, and wind up feeling pretty blessed in the process!
Happy holidays everyone! Enjoy the season of giving YOU!
Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell. Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
“Meditation is like giving a hug to ourselves, getting in touch with that awesome reality in us. While meditating we feel a deep sense of intimacy with God, a love that is inexplicable.” ~Paramahansa Yogananda
Last week during our annual Gratitude Dinner, I led a guided meditation on gratitude. As I was thinking about what I wanted to write about, the idea came to me that instead of my normal written word style blog, it might be fun to record a meditation that you could save and use as part of a gratitude practice.
Yes, November is the month when we all seem to focus on thankfulness, but practicing gratitude works best when it is something you do regularly throughout the year. If you know me, you know that I am a very positive person, but there are times when I am “off” and the thing that helps me get back on track better than anything else is practicing gratitude.
So, if you could use a little more positivity in your life – and who couldn’t – then I invite you to sit back and enjoy this guided meditation. It will take you 12 minutes to complete and ideally you want to find a spot where you will be comfortable and undisturbed.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
A friend and I recently attended the “Know Your Value Conference” in NYC – it was hosted by Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” and founder of Know Your Value. The conference is meant to enrich the lives of women and help them learn to own their power and grow their value – important stuff! The topics included Negotiation and Promotion, Financial Health, Emotional Health, Physical Health, and more.
I will admit, at first I thought the show was a little glitzy compared to other motivational conferences I have attended where the focus has been more on spirituality and inner healing. The presenter list included Martha Stewart, makeup artist Bobbi Brown, Jane Pauley, and Sarah Jessica Parker (love, love, love Sex & the City) just to name a few . . . remember, it was NYC!
BUT, the presenter that moved me the most was someone I had never heard of . . . Janine Driver, the author of You Say More Than You Think, which is a book about body language. If you knew me better, you would know that I am totally obsessed with books and learning. So when I was perusing the book table before the conference, Janine’s book spoke to me and I purchased it on the spot! Little did I know, a few hours later I would meet her in person, get my book signed, and compare notes about our 12-year-old complex boys – this all took place BEFORE I heard her talk.
Janine’s presentation was funny, powerful, energetic, and emotional. “Wow,” you must be thinking – “really, all that, and she was just talking about body language?” Well, by listening to her talk, I realized that my body language has been holding me back from owning my power.
Are you aware of your body language? Do you know how your body language affects the responses of others?
The good news is you can start implementing positive and effective body language techniques immediately. Challenge yourself to try out the different body language tips below and observe how people respond to you.
Power Poses
So there is the usual “Wonder Woman” hands-on-hips pose and the power steeple (you see this one on “Shark Tank”), but I am going to challenge you to look farther than the pose and notice how you respond when you see other people taking these poses. Notice the stances of women CEOs, politicians, and other powerful business women and entertainers. See mine above taken at the conference.
Homework: Have a friend take pictures of you in the various poses – see which one you like the best and start using it!
The Shimmy
This one became famous during one of the presidential debates when Hillary Clinton reacted by smiling, closing her eyes, and shimmy-shaking back and forth. But did you know that shaking your body is a simple yet powerful Qigong technique? Next time someone ruffles your feathers do what Taylor Swift says and, “Shake it off!”
Homework: Next time you are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, find a private spot, ground your feet, and start moving your body from head to toe for 1-2 minutes.
Handshake
Be the first to reach out for the handshake (hands side to side). You can make a positive impression by facing the person – belly button facing the person you are shaking hands with, not just your face and upper body. Also, hand placement on the top portrays power while the hand on the bottom implies weakness. If someone does a power play on you and shakes with their hand on top, you can come back with a “hand hug,” meaning you cover the top hand with your hand.
Homework: Practice a variety of handshakes with people you meet – notice the response when you face and shake vs the shake that is not fully engaged.
The Shoulder Shrug
The Shoulder Shrug means I’m not sure of myself – DON’T SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS!!! This is one body move women tend to do that totally takes their power away. Janine shared the story of her mother who was diagnosed with cancer and only a year to live. The video she showed was of her mother holding a rock over her head, saying “This is cancer,” and throwing it into the ocean. When Janine asked her mom to yell, “This year is all about me” . . . well, her mom threw the rock, looked into the camera, and said, “I guess this year is all about me,” then shrugged her shoulders. Janine had her say it over and over again until she said it like she meant it with NO shoulder shrug. She also had her mother practice a variety of positive body language techniques. Her mother outlived her diagnosis and was with her for three more years.
Homework: Catch yourself when you are getting ready to shrug your shoulders and STOP! If you have a hard time with this one, start by being more aware of the situations in which you shrug.
Start making positive changes to your body language today – it can help enhance your social life, relationships, and professional career. And, if all else fails, “Shake it off!”
Today’s author: Kim McClure, Holistic Health and Wellness Coach received her coaching education from MUIH, Laurel, MD. Kim is a certified Sanity School™ for Parents Trainer. Sanity School™ teaches a Coach Approach to parenting Complex Kids. Learn simple and clear strategies to motivate your child or teen to reach for success. If you need Sanity or want to learn more about the program, contact Kim at kim.mcclure@healthsanitylife.com or visit her website HealthSanityLife.com
What comes to mind first when you think of creativity? Art studio? Dance? Creativity as a talent? But there’s more to it, so let’s take a look at what creativity is.
When I Google creativity, many definitions come up, but I like to stay with: Creativity is the process of bringing something new into being.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow asked, “Who is interested in creativity?” in his 1971 book The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. His answer was: “Practically everybody is.” This interest is no longer confined to psychologists and psychiatrists, but has become a question of national and international policy as well. A 2012 Adobe study on creativity revealed 8 in 10 people felt that unlocking creativity is critical to economic growth and nearly two-thirds felt creativity is valuable to society. However, a striking minority – only 1 in 4 people – believe they are living up to their own creative potential.
How can a concept be so important in human consciousness, so dearly valued by nearly everyone, yet be so elusive?
In The Creative Connection, Natalie Rogers, daughter of psychiatrist Carl Rogers, states that “we all need love and approval. Yet the key to unleashing our creative energy is finding the deepest sense of approval within ourselves.” And we have to find a way to quiet the inner critic. It seems the creative bud in each of us is very delicate. Although the urge to express ourselves is powerful, it seems to be easily squashed in childhood. Many people then feel afraid and reluctant to try again.
Creativity is not a talent. We are all born creative and in fact are taught to not be creative. Until the age of five, we are able to play and create without any inhibition. We are able to make beautiful paintings intuitively without any training. At the age of six, we start judging ourselves and listening to what others say about us and lose our freedom of expression. We start to cultivate the chatter in our heads, and start living according to the stories we tell ourselves, whether they are correct or not. One of the stories I often hear as an art instructor is: “I’m taking your class, because I like to paint, but I’m not creative at all.” If we were to treat learning to draw the same as learning to read, we would all be better draughtsmen.
Where could you use more creativity in your life?
Art professor Betty Edwards made it her lifelong quest to determine what creativity is and why we judge ourselves so harshly. Her original contributions to the art of drawing and creativity have reached far beyond the college classroom as she proved that everyone can learn to draw. In her book Drawing on the Artist Within, she related that at the beginning of the semester there are always students saying to her, “I have no talent and will never be able to learn.” “Well, wait and see,” she would answer, and sure enough a few weeks later they were happily drawing away. And even then they attributed their newly acquired skill to hidden talent.
Additionally, the students stated that learning to see by learning to draw had caused other changes in their perception of the life around them. The students said that they noticed there is so much out there that they had never seen before. They even mentioned being able to think differently.
Betty Edwards proposed that learning to see and draw is a very efficient way to train the visual system, just as learning to read and write can efficiently train the verbal system. When trained as equal partners, one mode of thinking enhances the other, and together the two modes can release human creativity and make thought visible. She described the creative process as follows:
First Insight | 2. Saturation | 3. Incubation | 4. Ah-Ha! moment | 5. Verification – engaging left and right brain at the different stages.
If creativity is not a talent, but a skill, then we can learn it and have more of it in our lives. I like to see myself as open-minded, creative, and resourceful. Creating is something I have to do. It’s a force from within. I love it, whether it’s painting, setting the table, arranging flowers, buying a new outfit, or coming up with a creative solution. I thrive on solving challenges, and I use my creativity to engage in creative problem solving.
3 simple ways to enhance creative problem solving:
Become an expert and teach or explain.
Teaching as well as coaching have given me the opportunity to further deepen my knowledge and practice getting it across. I don’t have all the answers, but my reservoir, and also my confidence, are growing. I tell my art students to know their creative habits; with that, I mean knowing what they need in order to stay in the zone while they are painting. If you have to look for a color, you go from right brain to left brain mode and out of the zone.
Be curious and open-minded.
Get curious about the problem you want to solve and be open-minded to new ideas. Fear is the enemy of creativity. Embrace the unknown and give yourself permission to explore.
Gather information by asking yourself questions.
Any idea you have comes out of your memory. That means you have pulled information from your memory and used it. When asked a question, we immediately go into answer mode – so does your memory and you can come up with some unexpected answers.
Today’s author: Elisabeth Vismans is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), an Award-Winning Artist, and founder of Quality Within, helping women in transition to find their life purpose. She developed a unique coaching program using the visual language as an extra modality. She is also an Art Instructor and conducts painting and coaching workshops. Learn more about Elisabeth at her website: www.qualitywithin.com, or from her Facebook page.
What do you do when you’re down-in-the-dumps and want to lift your spirits?
A proven way to shift energy from negative to positive is to focus on being grateful. When you do so, you change your perspective from a scarcity mentality to one of abundance. A tried-and- true remedy for the doldrums is to ask yourself, what am I grateful for?
There are other advantages to being grateful, as well. Literature has recognized the benefits of cultivating gratefulness as a virtue for thousands of years. More recently, through the study of positive psychology, mental health professionals are examining how virtues such as gratitude may benefit our health… and what they are finding is promising.
When it comes to health, grateful people (those who consistently incorporate gratitude into their lives) have an edge on those who are not-so-grateful, according to research on gratitude conducted by Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California Davis.
“Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, and regular physical examinations,” says Emmons.
Gratitude can also help us manage stress better. It’s commonly known that stress can make us sick, especially when we have trouble coping with it. Stress has been linked to many illnesses, such as heart disease and cancer. “Gratitude research is beginning to suggest that feelings of thankfulness have tremendous positive value in helping people cope with daily problems, especially stress,” Emmons says.
In addition, grateful people tend to be more optimistic and researchers are seeing how that characteristic boosts the immune system. “There are some very interesting studies linking optimism to better immune function,” says Lisa Aspinwall, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Utah.
How do you become more grateful?
Some suggestions include:
Keeping a gratitude journal. Regularly list or describe what you are thankful for.
Offer thanks throughout the day, perhaps as a breath prayer. Expressing appreciation to others, or to God, as you receive anything from a parking space to a beautiful sunset creates a habit of gratitude. In time, this practice may allow you to find the good even in very difficult circumstances.
Surround yourself with people who are intentionally grateful. Their positive energy will be contagious and support you in your effort to be more appreciative.
As you incorporate any, or all, of these steps to become more grateful, I encourage you to take them beyond November and make it a practice that you do throughout the year. Gratitude is a powerful tool for your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Women who want to expand their focus on gratitude are invited to join the Wholistic Woman Community for our annual Gratitude Dinner onNov. 15th from 6-9 pm in Frederick, MD. This event is a highlight of the year and is designed to show appreciation for our members.
If you aren’t a member yet, you may join our community now and attend this year’s dinner. Learn details about the dinner and register by 11/13 to reserve your spot for this special occasion.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an executive coach, speaker, and author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at [email protected].
Can you remember what it felt like when you awoke this morning? The very moment you came back into consciousness? Was it an all at once moment or did many stages from unconsciousness to being fully awake occur? Let’s take a look at what the definition of awakening means:
A-wak-en-ing əˈwāk(ə)niNG/ noun
(formal) an act of waking from sleep.
an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something. “the war came as a rude awakening to the hardships of life”
adjective
coming into existence or awareness. “his awakening desire”
As an Energy Empowerment and Self Acceptance Coach, I have learned that there are many levels of consciousness. The level upon which we choose to operate is up to us, but we must first understand that numerous levels exist. Many of us suffer from internal energy blocks, such as the “nagging inner critic”, and we may be living our lives more from a place of fear than a place of love.
The goal of today’s blog is simply to ask you to wake up. It’s an invitation to help raise your consciousness and awareness of true self and look at how you’re showing up in your own life.
I once attended a workshop on energy where the instructor handed out small green round dot stickers. She asked us to stick them in places we frequented often, such as our bathroom mirror, car rear view mirror, workplace computer monitor, etc. Anywhere we may come across them in our average day. As we became visually aware of the green stickers, in that very moment, we were to imagine a loud thunderous clap of hands and someone saying in a firm voice, Wake UP!
As the days moved forward and I practiced noticing, I became aware I was not awake most of the time. So where was I? Where are you? Was I daydreaming, wrestling with worry, forecasting tomorrow’s events, reminiscing about the past, resting my mind, and who was driving the car if not me?
Some of us are sleeping unconsciously thru our lives, with weak personal identities and low self-worth and self-importance. We are not awake, not questioning, and seemingly unaware of all that is happening around
Some of us are beginning to awaken to the potential of our true essence by questioning who we are, why we are here, and what purpose our lives truly
Some individuals are Awakened, Aware, and Alive! They are choosing to live in the moment by shifting their thinking, their emotions, and their behaviors as needed. In doing this, they are placing themselves in an environment that is supportive as well as anabolic and open to possibility.
The ego is never quiet. It’s always comparing, arguing, or trying to control us. Whether it’s early in the morning, mid-day, or evening, I again invite you to WAKE UP, pay attention, and increase your awareness. From this very moment, begin to choose and notice that actions always create consequences. Shift your words, thoughts, and behaviors. Are they positive or negative? Are you lifting those around you or contributing to the noise pollution with negativity? Transform and learn to let go of the things that no longer serve you well. Challenge yourself by testing new ways. Set a goal to consciously vibrate at a higher energetic level.
Choose the positivity of peace and love. Most importantly, do no harm to yourself or others. Quiet your mind and hear the voice of your higher power. Become more aware of your surroundings and environment. Let your senses engage and come alive. Learn, Grow, Love, and Believe in your TRUE SELF so that you can increase your satisfaction and truly enjoy each and every moment of your unique and wonderful life.
How can you be more awake? Take a look at my suggestions in the lists below:
Take a simple “Wake Up Your Senses” walk
What do you see?
What sounds do you hear?
What is the feel of things around you? Smooth or rough?
Is the temperature hot or cold?
What are the smells in the air? What’s out there that you could taste?
Aids to increase your wakefulness
Adequate sleep and rest
Eating nutritiously
Proper hydration
Exercise and movement
Deep breathing
Sunshine for Vitamin D
Meditation
Reading
Aromatherapy and the use of essential oils
Soothing Music
Proper posture
Comedy and laughter
Gardening activities
(And I’m sure you could add-on to this list…)
Benefits to being Awake
Overall better health
Connectedness to all things
Living with purpose
Reduction of stress, worry, judgment, and conflict
Improved interpersonal relationships
Increased emotional expression
Increased smiling and appreciation
Authenticity of self
Keen awareness of living in the moment
Being a beacon of positivity
Contributing to the greater good of humanity
Acceptance of responsibility for one’s energy level and its contribution to the universe
To learn more about waking up, consciousness, energetic levels, and internal blocks . . . contact me! It’s not a quick fix but rather an education that facilitates a process and practice of change, thus eliminating fear and increasing love. I offer a free 30-minute session to anyone interested.
Through my iPEC training as an Energy Leadership Index Master, I help COURAGEOUS SOULS dissolve their barriers, eliminate blocks, uproot old stories and plant new internal messages. Together we work to clear out the clutter.
Today’s author: Kat Middleton is a professional certified coach and the founder and CEO of Wholehearted Concepts, LLC. Kat is a Professional Energy Empowerment and Self-Acceptance Coach who specializes in helping clients personally and professionally that struggle with inner doubt, perfectionism and being way too hard on themselves. She is available for private one-on-one coaching as well as group workshops, seminars, and speaking events. Learn more about her at her website: www.wholeheartedconcepts.com
I struggled this month to come up with a topic for my blog. I found myself coming again and again to the topic of grief and loss. Nothing else seemed quite right, and considering that we’re going into the autumn and winter, perhaps it’s appropriate for this topic to come up now. We are entering the seasons of ending and darkness before we rejuvenate in the spring, and grief is a topic that, while not taboo in our culture, is still discussed too infrequently. And so I would like to share with you my recent experiences with grief and what I’ve learned.
I’ve never experienced a death in my life before. I’ve experienced losses of a different kind, but not death. My family has been fortunate. We’re all fairly healthy, and longevity run in our genes. So I find myself ill-equipped to handle the death of someone I’ve loved and cared for over many years.
I miss being woken in the morning by yells for breakfast. I find myself still calling out a goodbye when I leave the house and then remembering I’m talking to no one. I have difficulties sleeping because her presence isn’t there. The house feels lonelier and quieter without her voice, and I’m more aware of when I’m alone than before. She would crawl on my lap and “help” (i.e., get in the way) when I was working. She would comfort me when I was sad and she never failed to bring a smile to my face. My constant companion for eight years died on September 22.
Unfortunately, I found myself feeling guilty and ashamed because the death I was mourning was that of my cat. While my pet is beloved to me, to other people, she’s “just a cat.” While in the depths of my grief, I heard from multiple people that said grief is misplaced, because I was “just” grieving a cat. While I do not have any children, it feels to me like I have lost my child, and for others to dismiss my grief because I was mourning a cat felt offensive and hurtful. Those feelings were piled on top of the guilt I already felt because I’d had to make the decision to put my cat down, and that decision broke my heart.
But when I related these feelings and how a few people had reacted, a client of mine gave me some very good advice. She said, “Grief is grief, and there’s no timeline for grief.” That was exactly what I needed to hear. Grief is grief, regardless of whether it’s for a person, a pet, or even a situation. We all process grief in different ways, and that grief may last for a few weeks or it may last for years.
Hearing those words helped me to allow myself to feel the grief without the guilt or shame. My grief is my own, and I must process it in the way that’s best for me. I found ways to give myself touchstones to get through the day. In the immediate aftermath, I found myself unable to put down one of her favorite toys. I carried it around in my pocket while at home. My cat used to follow me around the house, and carrying her toy made it feel like she still was. Then I was able to set that aside when the immediate sorrow has lessened and I no longer felt like I needed that particular reminder. Later, I found an Etsy shop that makes affordable custom rings, and their specialty is slim rings with the name of your pet and a paw print stamped onto it. So I bought a ring with my cat’s name. It was the perfect thing I needed to allow my grief to settle.
I still have moments when I feel that grief crashing into me, but it’s getting easier, and the pain is less. My heart will always be scarred for her, but I have ways now that I feel like I will always remember the love and comfort she gave me over eight years, and so the healing has begun.
What has helped you move through loss and grief?
So many people I know have lately been affected by death, whether it’s the death of beloved pets or family members. My good friend’s aging dog died of a heart attack. Two friends I know have had family members succumb to serious illnesses. While volunteering this past week, a phone call came in for the staff with the news that a coworker had passed the previous day.
Each piece of news that comes my way feels like another pebble dropping into the bucket of grief and it grows heavier with the collective sorrow those in my circle are feeling.
If you are experiencing grief or loss, I encourage you to reach out to friends and loved ones. You are not a burden, and your grief is not a burden. The only way out is through.
Grief is grief, and there is no timeline for grief.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, editing, and manuscript critique services. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.kiratregoning.com
Mindful. A term that has become increasingly popular over the past few years and in its simplest form means being more aware. But what does being more aware mean? Is it noticing the sounds around you? Noticing the smells around you? Noticing the variety of colors as you pass by the trees? Regardless of what you are more aware of, the point of being mindful is to develop a closer relationship with your mind. So how does being mindful relate to eating?
Mindful Eating
Mindful eating is much more than noticing the smell of your food or the different colors on your plate. Mindful eating is about being present in the moment, in a non-judgmental way, so that you can pay closer attention to your body, habits, and triggers. It’s much deeper than developing a better relationship with your mind. When you mindfully eat, there are no rules, no calorie counting, no carb cutting, and there aren’t even recipes. Just a special sense of awareness every time that food is in your presence.
Why Doesn’t Everyone Eat Mindfully?
I’m sure you’re probably scratching your head wondering why everyone doesn’t eat mindfully since it seems like you can eat so freely. The fact of the matter is, not many people explore mindful eating because of our own harsh beliefs and because of the long look we’ll have to take in the mirror. We tell ourselves things like “You couldn’t even cut carbs for one day. What makes you think you can be mindful of your eating?” or “You’ve gained so much weight, you’ll need more than mindful eating to help you out.” Regardless of what that inner critic is saying, it’s taking on several roles that work against you: the fretter, the punisher, the judge, the name caller, or the partier. There’s a Buddhist saying that states “your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts,” which is so true! We can’t allow this voice in our head to hinder our progress in doing what’s best for our body.
Often, we are so hard on ourselves and we don’t seek help because we are afraid that people are going to confirm our own negative beliefs or help us stick our heads further in the sand. Therefore, we say nothing and appear as if life is great while under the surface we have a constant struggle stemming from the battle of the good and bad angels on our shoulders.
The Building Block of Mindful Eating
To eat mindfully, we have to address this inner critic with self-compassion. Compassion and empathy are the antidote for our inner critics. We can’t possibly be judgmental toward ourselves while being compassionate. The first part of being more compassionate is simply being aware of our thoughts. Acknowledging when they’re there but not putting any emphasis on them and just allowing them to pass by. When the name caller critic pops up, recognize it and say to yourself, “Oh my, that name caller is back again” and let it be at that. Don’t take a deeper look at it and try to rationalize why it’s there. Just let it go. Once we are aware of thoughts, we must move into being nonjudgmental about them.
Mindless thinkers tend to have more eating issues because they get sucked into this hole of negative thinking patterns and it subconsciously affects their eating habits. Most negative thinking is looked at as extreme thinking which is when something is all or nothing. For example, it’s extreme thinking if you promise yourself that you won’t eat after 7 and then you do, which results in you saying “The heck with it. I screwed it up once so I’m not going to worry about not eating after 7 anymore.” Extreme thinking can be self-sabotaging. We are being so judgmental of our one mistake that we prevent ourselves from trying again and succeeding. Self-sabotage is also a way to control our disappointment, which goes back to negative beliefs like thinking we can’t succeed.
When we self-sabotage, we must become aware and practice non-judgment so that we can look at why we feel a certain way. That’s when we have to take a long look in the mirror and be honest with ourselves in a gentle way, such as by asking ourselves, “Is this to avoid disappointment?” or “Am I afraid of failing?” Knowing the reason is half of the battle.
Judgments and negative self-talk are all a part of mindless eating. Just like we reduce our sugar or salt intake, we must clear our negative thoughts as well. Being self-compassionate allows us to begin this journey. As you move forward in the next few days, be aware of your thoughts toward yourself. Acknowledge your inner critic without putting emotion into it. Try describing things without using words like good or bad. Regardless of whether you want to begin or improve mindful eating or just want to be more mindful in general, be present and be kind to yourself!
Today’s author: Casey Clark is an affiliate coach with Wholistic Woman and manages a health and wellness practice, Heaven On Earth, which focuses on self-care. Having been a student and working, both full-time, Casey has a deep understanding for the importance of self-care and is committed to helping those who lead busy lives, especially young professionals, accomplish prioritizing self-care so that they can live a holistically balanced, well and fulfilled life. She uses her own experiences as a motivator to help her clients achieve lasting, self-compassionate change that is aligned with their values. Find out more about Casey at her website: www.aheavenlyyou.com
If you’re like many people (including myself), the summer season was a busy one. Summer is filled with cookouts, vacations, time with friends and family, longer nights, and creating memories. It may have also included choices that didn’t serve you as well. You may feel like it was a busy time of the year and you’re missing some rest and relaxation. Are you feeling stressed or lacking balance? I know that I’ve been feeling the need for change as I move into the fall months.
The autumn season is one of the best times of the year for cleansing and taking authority in life. When I say “cleansing,” I am not referring to a plant-based, drink-only cleanse. The term cleansing (or detoxification) can refer to many things.
In my own personal life, I have taken a strong look, especially over the past year, at things, choices, and people that are not serving me well. I’ve considered food choices, toxic relationships, negative thoughts, choices I have made, goals I have set, and options for what I want to see in the future. Have you thought about what may or may not be serving you well and helping you thrive?
With the full moon in Aries just passed on October 5, Aries inspires us to strive and thrive despite any struggles we may be experiencing. The energy is about finding independence, trusting yourself as you move forward, and finding power. The energy from the full moon will help us to use our power from a place of heart rather than ego.
This is a great time to reflect on where you’ve been, what changes you want to make, and how you will choose to move forward.
I am a small-town girl and I love so much about the country. When I think of autumn, I often think of the harvest season. I think of planting seeds and new beginnings. Ways that those seeds can be nourished for growth. When you think about moving forward into the autumn season, I encourage you to think about seeds you can plant and how you can help them grow in your own life, whether they pertain to you personally or to others in your life.
As women, it’s very important to take care of ourselves but also to support and lift up those around us.
As your body prepares for a stressful holiday season and colder weather, it’s important to consider ways to nourish your body, ramp up self-love, and practice stress management. Allergies are higher and the immune system can become more susceptible to illness and exhaustion. Seasonal eating helps to not only nourish the body but also give it what it wants as the season transitions.
Pumpkins, squash, sweet potatoes, apples, and pomegranates are all wonderful fall favorites. Not only are they delicious, but they also pack many health benefits, especially when paired with lean meats and healthy fats. Limiting processed foods, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol will help you thrive through the autumn season. Sufficient sleep and personal care will not only benefit your body and mind but also help you as we approach the holidays. One of my favorites is an Epsom salt bath with lavender oil drops. It’s important to figure out what works for your own unique beautiful self.
Toxicity comes in many forms. Consider the foods you are eating, the relationships in your life, stress, environmental factors, and negative thoughts. Look at the level of fulfillment in your career and things you’ve always wanted to do but never tried. This is your time to focus on the positive energy of change. It’s a great time to start fresh, feel empowered, and do what makes you feel healthy and happy.
As the leaves change colors and fall, look at ways you can shed some old and allow for new growth. What changes can you make in your own life to help you thrive?
Today’s author: Kim Wilson is a Certified Holistic Health Coach (CHC) and owns her own business, Kim Wilson, LLC, which specializes in empowering and educating women to get to the root of what’s going on with their own unique, individual body. She works with women one-on-one and coaches through online groups and programs. Learn more about Kim at her website www.kimwilson.me, from her Facebook page, or find her on Instagram.
noun: life coach – a person who counsels and encourages clients on matters having to do with careers or personal challenges.
Wholistic Woman Retreats is a community of women dedicated to being their best through personal and professional development activities and programs. One of the ways we do this is through our ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat series where certified professional life and business coaches facilitate programs aimed at teaching tools and strategies that will help you more consistently be your best, no matter where you are or what you are doing.
Our programs are unique because we use a coach-approach. A good life or business coach knows how to ask the right questions to help you uncover what is best for you!
It is very common for participants to leave the Be You Evening Retreats feeling energized, excited to begin practicing new tools, and hungry for more! Our last ‘Be You’ event for this year will be on Wednesday October 25 and is titled BeCoached.
Be Coached will be a little different than the other retreats this year. Instead of being facilitated by just one coach, there will be five coaches on hand. Each one will lead a coaching discussion on the topic that they presented earlier this year.
All are welcome! Whether you attended the programs earlier this year or not, this night is designed just for you!
If you missed a ‘Be You’ retreat…this will be your chance to catch up and hear highlights of the topic.
Or
If you attended the original workshop and now you’re ready for more…this will be your chance to check-in and go deeper. You’ll have the opportunity to share where you are being successful putting the tools into practice as well as where you could use further development.
So, whether you’re catching up, or continuing to learn, this event will be a great capstone on the year of Being More You!
At Be Coached, you will have the opportunity to visit 2 different discussions, so start thinking about the two that are right for you. Tables will fill on a first come, first served basis, so register for the retreat now and plan to arrive early to get your first choice and continue your personal development journey with us.
Be Balanced – Coach Carol will lead a discussion to better understand Wholistic Balance of heart, mind, body, and spirit. She will introduce and review tools to help you achieve the balance that is just right for you.
Be Positive – Coach Kelye will help you understand the science of positive psychology and share tips to become more aware, and intentional, about increasing your happiness levels.
Be Clear – Coach Laura will discuss boundaries, focusing on the challenges and as well as the benefits of setting clear boundaries with friends, families, and at work.
Be Energized – Coaches will discuss the benefits of regularly using affirmations; noticing that what we say to ourselves affects our energy and our ability to move forward.
Be Financially Fearless – Coach Jane will help you identify your inner mindset around money and show you how authenticity, gratitude, and calm can radically change your relationship with your finances.
This event is your opportunity to experience what it is like to be coached in small groups. Please consider this your invitation to join our coaches and our dynamic community of women-on-the-grow!
Come on your own or bring a friend. We promise you will feel welcomed and accepted.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
I miss being woken in the morning by yells for breakfast. I find myself still calling out a goodbye when I leave the house and then remembering I’m talking to no one. I have difficulties sleeping because her presence isn’t there. The house feels lonelier and quieter without her voice, and I’m more aware of when I’m alone than before. She would crawl on my lap and “help” (i.e., get in the way) when I was working. She would comfort me when I was sad and she never failed to bring a smile to my face. My constant companion for eight years died on September 22.
Hearing those words helped me to allow myself to feel the grief without the guilt or shame. My grief is my own, and I must process it in the way that’s best for me. I found ways to give myself touchstones to get through the day. In the immediate aftermath, I found myself unable to put down one of her favorite toys. I carried it around in my pocket while at home. My cat used to follow me around the house, and carrying her toy made it feel like she still was. Then I was able to set that aside when the immediate sorrow has lessened and I no longer felt like I needed that particular reminder. Later, I found an Etsy shop that makes affordable custom rings, and their specialty is slim rings with the name of your pet and a paw print stamped onto it. So I bought a ring with my cat’s name. It was the perfect thing I needed to allow my grief to settle.
