by Carol deLaski | Sep 3, 2015 | Change, Jeanette Eleff, Retreats
“I just don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life.” This is the declaration I had just heard from the beautiful, forty-something woman sitting across the table from me. For the sake of this article I will refer to this woman as “Cathy”.
Cathy had a successful upper level management career, but she had reached a crossroad in her life – her sons were moving out of the house and her image as a mother and wife was changing. She was feeling down because her next move was unknown and not planned out. Cathy came to me to seek the support of a life coach to help her figure out her life’s desires.
Cathy’s situation was not unusual. I had heard her story many, many times from other women: “I don’t know what I want to do; I am not in touch with what will bring me joy; I don’t even know what joy looks like.”
The first step we took in our work together was to give Cathy permission to slow down and take the time to really think about what she wanted in her life. She personalized definitions for words that were foreign to her like joy and fun. She created her own meaning for “Fabulousity” and she created tools that spoke her vision language and kept her dream of an adventurous life in front of her. We worked and danced as coach and life-student for one year and our blueprint was always her personalized life vision.
Today Cathy is beaming with her own Fabulousity: she has fun with her photography, she weathered a relationship breakup and bought a beautiful home, she goes on adventures daily and she is embracing the role as a new grandmother. Cathy has found her joy – it all began when she took the time to craft out her life’s vision.
You too can be like Cathy – beaming with Fabulousity! Everything you want to manifest in your life begins with a vision. Slow down and take the time to join me and the Wholistic coaches on Wednesday, September 30 at 5:15 as I present Be Fabulous – In Your Life’s Vision. I’ll review my top strategies that you can follow to get in touch with what you really want your life to look like – regardless of where you are now. I’ll also share some creative ways, including a vision board, in which you can keep your fabulous vision of your life in front of you. You will walk away with a piece of your Fabulousity – what a great way to approach 2016! Click here if you’d like to register for this ‘Fabulous’ event.
Be Fabulous!
Jeanette
Today’s author: Jeanette Eleff, with Focused Vitality, is a success coach who helps people identify their vision for a successful life and/or business. She then shows them how to stay focused on the activities and mindsets that will help them achieve their goal.
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2015 | Carol deLaski, Change, Retreats
Are you being all that you were created to be?
Sometimes I answer this question with a resounding YES! It’s usually when I feel that I’m having a positive impact on my world and others….when I’m using my God-given talents to be and do my best.
All too often, though, the answer to the question is a definite NO. Admittedly, in my humanity, I fall short of being my best on a regular basis. An inner, self-critical voice frequently tells me how I am not measuring up and never will. If I listen to the voice too closely I begin to believe that I shouldn’t even try. It tells me to play safe and small, not to speak up, and not to take risks.
Fortunately, I have learned how to manage my inner critic. I listen to it only to the extent of admitting that I didn’t do my best and that I could do better….and then I turn to curiosity and ask myself how I could improve next time. I maintain an open mind and consciously let go of self-judgment to try to learn from my shortfalls.
With this mindset, my life is a series of ups and downs that provide me with joy when things are going well, and life lessons when things are disappointing and hard. Perhaps the same is true for you.
At the heart of my growth process is self-awareness, or consciousness. I believe that the best way to navigate the highs and lows of life is by knowing, loving, and accepting ourselves….and when our ability to do that falls short, to trust that there is a Higher Power/God, who knows, loves and accepts us.
An important perspective is acknowledging that I am a work-in-progress. Rather than harshly berating myself when I make mistakes, I have learned to treat myself like I would a good friend. I can change the channel of that voice in my head to a station that speaks loving-kindness and affirmations that encourage rather than discourage me. Listening to that channel doesn’t remove the disappointment that I feel with myself, but it motivates me to learn and grow from a source of compassion and helps me release criticism.
As a professional coach I teach, and use many tools to develop self-awareness. One of the best tools I’ve found is Gallup’s Strengths Finder assessment, which provides individuals information about their top 5 talents. When we make an effort to learn about our talents, and practice using them effectively, they become strengths – characteristics that we can consistently use to produce positive outcomes at work and in life overall.
Each of our strengths has a light and dark side. The light side refers to those times when our strengths are serving us well and bringing about those positive outcomes I referred to above. The dark side, by contrast, is when our strengths do not serve us well. It’s important to know the warning signs when we are starting to drift into the shadow side of our strengths so that we can self-correct and return to the light side.
I will give you a couple of examples:
My top strength is Empathy. Gallup defines this strength as an ability to sense other’s emotions. I define it as being highly sensitive and tuned-in on an emotional level. Some might call it emotional intelligence. When my strength is serving me well, I am able to meet others where they are and connect with them on an emotional level to support them in the way that is best for them at that moment. This sixth sense helps me understand the emotional climate of an individual or a group, sometimes with a deeper awareness than they themselves may have. I drift into the shadows when I lose sight of the healthy boundaries between me and someone else and I actually take on their feelings. I can lose myself in another person’s emotional landscape by caring too much. This isn’t beneficial for me or the other person, so I have learned how to create boundaries that help me to be a successful coach to others and fully present and well-balanced in my own life.
I’ve spoken to many clients who have the strengths of Achiever and Responsibility. These people know how to get things done and they do it with a great attitude. They enjoy checking things off a mental or physical list and get great satisfaction from tasks being completed. They are ‘can-do’ people and are crucial to have on your team because they will ‘get it done’. That’s the good side. The dark side is that they can overwhelm themselves with how much there is to do and get stuck there; they can risk burning out by trying to do it all; or they can overstep boundaries and do things that other people need to do. A perfect example is a parent who needs to refrain from picking up after a child in order to teach her how to do it herself. We know that if we always do tasks for our children they won’t learn to become responsible adults and the same is true in other areas of our lives.
Another strength of mine is called Developer, which Gallup defines as having the desire and ability to help others reach their full potential. In my life, I’ve been able to express this strength in a variety of ways…as a teacher, a parent, and a professional coach. I feel deep satisfaction when I can support a client, friend, or loved one in being brave and taking the next step in their personal growth…in their lifelong journey to wholeness. The dark side of this strength is when I can see what’s possible (and my Strategic strength can see how to get there), but I’m way ahead of the other person. I need to remind myself that we each grow at our own pace, and wake up to consciousness when we are ready. I can provide fertile soil for growth but each seedling sprouts and grows in its own time. I must remember to respect each person’s pace, whether it is swift or, to me, excruciatingly slow.
I was inspired recently by an article written by Sandie Lynch, a friend and coach colleague. She shared 6 steps to develop self-worth and feel complete (or whole). They were all helpful, yet one especially resonated with me. It was the reminder to embrace our uniqueness.
Sandie states: “There are no two people who are the same. Each of us has unique gifts and talents which we possess when we are born. Our experiences develop our talents into strengths that when applied makes our part of the world a better place. Trust that you make a difference!”
I believe that knowing and developing your talents into strengths which you can consistently use for the benefit of yourself and others is pivotal to realizing your full potential and being your best.
How will you know, like, and trust your strengths more?
Here are two suggestions to start (or continue) you on that lifelong journey.
1) Change your inner critic to an inner coach. Cultivate core honesty with yourself, which is grounded in love and self-acceptance. Encourage yourself instead of discouraging yourself by treating yourself as you would a dear friend.
2) Learn about your strengths…both the light and dark sides… and practice ways to self-correct when you drift into the shadows. Draw healthy boundaries around them so that they make positive contributions and don’t overwhelm yourself or others.
I deeply believe that you are designed by God to be uniquely special. It is my hope that you will develop your inner strengths to be your best in all areas of your life.
An invitation: If you would like to learn more about being whole and living into your best self please join us for a Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat, Be Complete, led by Coach Sandie Lynch on 8/26 from 5:30-7 pm. Click here for details and to register.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC is a speaker, author, and coach who specializes in strengths development for individuals, businesses, and teams. You may contact her at [email protected] to arrange a complimentary call to see how strengths training can help you or your organization.
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 5, 2015 | Change, Sandie Lynch
A few days ago some friends and I were discussing going back in time to teenage years. I confessed that I would never want to relive my younger years because of the growth and wisdom I now embrace. Long gone are the thoughts of not feeling I was enough! Now, I wake up every day feeling grateful and excited about who I am and what I share with the world. I am passionate about encouraging others to discard false beliefs that keep them quiet, feeling unworthy, and living small. I want people to live brave, bold, and full; being every bit of who they were created to be!
Just a short history of my journey. I grew up in a low-social economic home. My mom and dad were raised as farmers and were extremely hard workers. They refused to live with debt, therefore, we never bought a new car, expensive clothes, or had expensive toys. Growing up in an area where many of our neighbors had all the above, some kids can be cruel, condemning those who don’t have the latest and greatest and this is what happened to me. The result of this condemnation at an age too young to understand, I embraced numerous false lies.
As a child, I believed that my mom and dad were not good enough or smart enough to provide my sisters and me with nice things, and therefore thought that I too must be from the same mold. My favorite fairy tale was Cinderella because I believed that if I was pretty enough, my knight-in- shining armor would save me from my impoverished life. Unfortunately, as I grew older I struggled with my weight and so the dream and belief of being pretty enough was foiled. I worked so hard to be perfect… to be enough! Others would compliment me but deep inside my beliefs were that I would never be smart enough, good enough, or pretty enough…for something! I felt that no one would really like me if they knew the real me, therefore, I had to be someone else, someone who had it all together! I’m sure you can see how this turned out…not well…at least until I learned and believed the truth, that the only person I could be was me! I am now a firm believer that we attract into our lives what we believe we are and deserve. Looking back now it was like I was asking for people to manipulate, disrespect, and criticize me, because that is what I expected.
To shorten the story, on my 41st birthday I found myself separated from the love of my life and with no friends or family to remember my birthday. It was a sad, lonely, and desperate time, but out of it came a ray of hope and some valuable lessons that shaped me for a life full of passion to shout from the roof tops: each and every person is enough and has everything necessary and accessible to be complete!
If you struggle with similar false beliefs that keep you living small, here are a few strategies that transformed me; I pray that these move you from feeling “not enough” to realizing you are “COMPLETE!”
As we begin, I would like to share the definition of Complete: to have all the necessary or appropriate parts.
1. Embrace Uniqueness! There are no two people who are the same. Each of us has unique gifts and talents which we possess when we are born. Our experiences develop our talents into strengths that when applied makes our part of the world a better place. People in our lives are positively impacted when we invest our talents and strengths for the good of others. No other person can make the same impact in the exact same way. Trust that you make a difference!
2. There are No Mistakes! I’m sure all of us at one time or another could look back on our lives and shake our head and say, “That was really stupid!” There is a big difference between saying that and thinking, “I’m stupid!” I believe we are all on the journey of growing wisdom. We can only make our decisions based on the wisdom that we have in that particular moment. When we embrace each situation as the necessary “teacher” for our growing wisdom, we learn to look for the learning objective in each difficulty as research for our “Doctorate” in life!
3. Avoid Comparison! I (and everyone I know) am my own worst critic. We tend to always focus on what we don’t like about our lives, body, and/or self. Matters get even worse when we compare our lives or qualities to others we admire or want to emulate. We never measure up, because we are not supposed to! Going back to strategy one, we are unique, and our lives are not to be like anyone else’s. We are to create our own story; embrace and develop our gifts and talents into strengths to touch the lives around us.
4. Receive and Offer Grace and Forgiveness. When the critic inside shows up, review strategies 1, 2, and 3! When we learn how to provide grace and forgiveness to ourselves, it becomes easier to offer it to others. We are all on the same journey to feel and be complete and it makes it much more enjoyable when our company is supportive and encouraging verses judging and condemning…even if it is just yourself for now!
5. Share Your Gifts. We are made for connection! Research shows our bodies and lives thrive when we have positive social connection. Our level of stress decreases when we reach out to others in loving ways. When we share our gifts, talents, strengths and life lessons to serve, comfort, encourage, teach, and/or guide others for their greater good, a funny thing happens…we are the ones blessed by it. Pay attention to the things you share with others that expand your energy, joy, and fullness in your heart. These are the things the world needs, and only you in your unique way can give!
6. Live Fully Complete through Love. Each and every one of us has what we need to feel and live fully complete. Love is the key! Initially, love of self; by recognizing the amazing creation we are in all our uniqueness to serve and touch our part of the world! Our lives forever change those lives we touch. I know you are shaking your head at this last strategy thinking I’ve gone too far, but keep in mind one of the favorite Christmas movies played over and over every year is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You are making your impact on the world right now. Start embracing that you are made fully complete when you accept, embrace, and share unconditional love with each unique soul you meet.
If you want to know more about how to live a full, joyous, and complete life, please contact me for a coaching series to help you live and Be Complete! If local to the Frederick, Maryland area, please join me and the Wholistic Woman Retreats community on Wednesday, August 26th 2015 at 5:30 pm for our ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat and an introduction to Be Complete. Click here for details.
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age! Check out ATP Fitness to “Maximize” your 2015. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life! Contact Sandie via email at [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | May 13, 2015 | Change, Guest Blogging
At Wholistic Woman Retreats, we believe that when women come together with the intention of supporting one another, amazing things can happen. With that thought in mind, we developed a membership program. The women who make up our membership are wise, compassionate, and courageous. Today we are sharing with you the words of our member, Lisa McFarland. We know you are going to love Lisa’s very personal blog on some of the insights she gained as the result of living through the death of her daughter, Alexis.
Lisa, thank you for sharing this with us! Your words are powerful and will undoubtedly touch the hearts of those who read this.
In talking with a friend, he shared how it has been challenging for him to engage in anything joyful since his daughter’s recent death. The pain of losing her has left his heart collapsed, full of empty space and nothing to fill it.
My friend and I share a common experience in that we both lost our little girls to rare diseases. The difference between us is that my daughter Alexis died several years ago, so I have been navigating my healing path for much longer than he has traveled his.
Loss of any kind and particularly loss of a loved one can create an agonizing and relentless emptiness that is inescapable. It can cause one’s heart to collapse, for lack of life and love. The heart is often considered to be the source of love. But when we lose someone who has been the seed of that love we are left with nothingness, apathy, despair. Hope withers. And the heart, though still beating, feels vacant.
While grieving, we wait, we cry, we pray, we work, we try to resume life in the most basic ways. We tell others we are fine. We go through the motions. “Time heals.” That’s what people tell us. But with the passage of time, the reality sets in that the void is relieved by nothing. We begin to ask ourselves: “How can I fill this void? Will I ever feel joy again? Will the pain ever stop?”
My experience regarding the void is that it cannot be filled. Because my love for Alexis was so much a part of me, her absence has left a space too vast to occupy with anything else.
However what I have found is that rather than focusing on the void, I have, over many years, been able to create life and love around the empty space. My heart’s dimensions have expanded as I have opened to latent interests, experiences, and the capacity for new love. This expansion process makes the void smaller and allows for fresh seeds of love to be planted. Apathy and despair get smaller, while hope and purpose can slowly begin to take root.
How do we expand our hearts? I believe this process manifests when we take one step at a time on our individual healing paths. These steps come in a multitude of forms, and since everyone is different, we are each drawn to, and can be healed by unique interests. There is no map, but getting started is the most important step. Here are some examples to consider:
1. Create New Experiences
Place yourself in a quiet space to brainstorm on new ways to experience life. Remember, the goal is not to forget the void but to expand life around it. Meditate on questions like:
- What hobbies or activities were on hold before this loss?
- What interests have spoken to me that until now I have not had time for?
- Where would I like to go that I have never been before?
If nothing comes to mind, try planning a short trip, even locally. You may want to visit a restaurant where you have never eaten, go shopping for a new outfit, or attend a concert.
2. Share
Generosity breeds abundance. When our hearts are collapsed, we feel we have nothing to share. But finding ways to do so can affirm our ability to contribute to the world, despite feeling deflated. Honor ideas that come to you about giving something to someone else by acting on them. Here are some examples:
- Volunteer a small amount of your time in a place that needs it
- Make someone a meal who can benefit from receiving it
- Contribute a donation to an organization that matters to you
- Open a door for someone when you enter or exit a building
- Send flowers to someone who has been supportive
- Reach out to someone where your sole purpose is to support them and attentively listen
3. Experience Nature
Take a walk outside. If a walk is too ambitious, just open a window. Listen to the sounds. Feel the air and its temperature. See if you detect a scent. Try to be reminded that we are all here in the world with purpose and possess natural instincts to lead us to that purpose. Study the trees as they are in a constant state of change. See if you can feel a connection to the natural order of life around us.
We all encounter loss. Death of a loved one may be the most profound and final loss we face. But loss can come in different forms such as a relationship ending, a job changing, a friend moving away, or the realization that something we are passionate about will not happen. These experiences can all evoke feelings of a collapsed heart.
It can be difficult at first, but as steps are taken on the healing path new dimensions are added to the collapsed heart, resuscitating our love for life, ourselves and others. Although there be no right way to “fill” the void, expanding our hearts can make that empty space feel smaller and bring us back to Joy.
I am grateful to share these thoughts and hope that they may reach someone who is in need of encouragement. I feel it an honor to be present to others who are struggling with the loss of a loved one, or who may be caring for someone with special needs. My 15 year old son lives with profoundly challenging intellectual, medical and physical demands and the experience of raising him has also provided me with a uniquely compassionate calling to be present to others.
Grieving the loss of a loved one, and/or supporting a loved one with special needs are both life scenarios that can create a sense of isolation and lack of understanding. I am inspired by my experiences to connect with others who may feel this “aloneness” and be present on their paths to healing. I can be reached at [email protected]. The photo I have included is symbolic of my own healing path, as it is a visible and daily reminder that there is always hope on the horizon.
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by Carol deLaski | Feb 6, 2015 | Change, Sandie Lynch
5 Steps to help you find peace, joy and the ability to rejoice in whatever you are going through.
When we feel challenged by a situation, a person, and or a hardship, probably the last thing we think about is rejoicing. But what if we were told that for every difficult situation we moved through we would win money, and that the more difficult the situation the more money we would win; up to a million dollars for each challenge we successfully faced and moved through. How would this change how see challenges? I can imagine that knowing this beforehand may make each new challenge more exciting, and may make it be something we look forward to verses an energy drain.
Now, unless this is a game show, it is unlikely money will be our motivating factor to face our difficulties with excitement, but it is possible to see our biggest challenges as opportunities for positively impacting our lives, and that these challenges could actually lead us to more money, greater happiness, exceptional success, everlasting peace and joy.
Many moons ago, I can remember I was extremely discouraged about a challenging time at work, and a dear friend who was being supportive suggested I consider this – when I find myself stuck or experiencing the same difficulty over and over again or maybe even a “season” of struggle, that it may be that “life” is trying to teach me a lesson. She also suggested that until I learn that lesson, I would continue to experience this difficulty over and over and over, until I finally got it. Therefore, I could continue to repeat the process, stay stuck, and feel frustrated or “look for the lesson” and move on. Ever since this conversation, I have kept this in mind, and looked for the lesson “life”, or as I see it, God was wanting me to learn. As I have practiced being the observer over the past 15 years, it is getting easier to embrace peace and find patience as I “look for the lesson” through difficult and challenging times.
Now I find myself joking with my friends, that it time to look for “learn the lesson” so that I can get the heck out of this mess and move one. The truth is, the biggest lesson I’m learning is, as I “look for the lesson,” I’m having more fun and joy laughing at myself throughout the process. I have to admit, not all situations lend themselves to rejoicing, but when much of it is outside of my control, and I find myself trying to gain control or change something I can’t change, I have to laugh and eventually decide that it is best to sit back, look for the lesson, and enjoy the ride…finally…Rejoice in the process! I have come to a place where I have realized, life is too short to agonize through tough times, and because there will be many, I don’t want to live the majority of my life to feeling drained and stressed.
Here are a few tips and beliefs that have helped me find peace, joy and the ability to rejoice in the process, I pray they help you if you are in difficult place right now.
- Embrace that each difficulty or challenge is allowed into our life for a greater good, something we can’t see but trust that it will show up later, like the money concept above. Trust that “life” or God knows what we need and this difficulty is moving us in the direction we need to go. Often we see this in hindsight, but don’t consider this during the dark or difficult days.
- See discomfort as the alarm that tells us something needs to change or “not so good stuff” will show up later, therefore TURN NOW! Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves and expect way too much or be on the insanity cycle; expecting different results, but doing the same thing. Feeling pain, fear, anxiety, humiliation, are strong emotions that are signals to take notice that there is a lesson to learn! Instead of running or trying to control the situation, see it instead as the alert to avoid greater harm in the future, and embrace a new way.
- Give Yourself Grace and don’t expect more than you do. When feeling inadequate to handle the situation, that’s when we are being pulled to forces outside ourselves to ask for help from others and our higher power or God. Evidence show, reaching out to others lowers our stress hormone cortisol and increases our oxytocin, our love hormone to help us to feel calmer during hard times. We are designed for relationship and this is where the best outcomes show up. Think about it, when we help others, it feels great. Trust there are people just waiting to help! Reach out and feel the love! The burden is always lighter when shared.
- Trust in the process and believe there are no mistakes! We are exactly where we need to be to learn the next life lesson. If you are like I was…a little stubborn, the process may be slower than desired. But believe me, we are being pulled, guided, and motivated toward our greater good. Learning is like a foundation, it has to be built before the beautiful house we want to live in can be built. By accepting each challenge as an opportunity for positive growth, we expand our wisdom in what we are here for and wisely move toward living our best life by living in our designed purpose.
- Rejoice in the process! Look for the lesson, the connection, and or the open door that leads toward your best…otherwise, what is the alternative? May you live with more peace, joy, and rejoice through each difficulty, anticipating the good around the corner!!
Today’s author: Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
Check out ATP Fitness to “Kick-Start” your 2015. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life!
Contact Sandie at [email protected] to find out more!
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 8, 2014 | Change, Laura Hall
Last Saturday I walked a labyrinth for the first time. I entered with the intention of finding clarity on how I am meant to use my new training in The Daring Way™ process in my coaching practice. I exited with 7 lessons that I believe will not only help me in my coaching practice, but also in life.
1. Find a pace that’s right for you
I started off walking very slowly and mindfully. I wanted to take my time and not rush through the experience. What I noticed was that when I went too slow, I felt off balance, so I picked up the pace. However, walking too fast didn’t feel right either. I felt like I was rushing the process, just to get through it. Eventually I settled into a pace that felt just right. When it comes to our journey through life, I think that finding that pace that is just right is important. Too slow and we can feel like we are wasting our valuable resource of time, and too fast feels hectic and overwhelming. How is your pace? Are you racing through life? Are you dragging your feet? Or have you found the pace that’s right for you?
2. It’s OK to feel lost sometimes
At some point in the labyrinth I started thinking that maybe I had taken a wrong turn because it felt like it was taking too long to get to the center. I felt lost. (Even though I knew that was impossible) There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt lost, and undoubtedly as I continue to travel through life there are going to be times in the future where I am not going to be certain about where I am or what direction I can take. The lesson I took away from the labyrinth is that this is part of the process and it’s OK. As someone who craves certainty, it’s uncomfortable for me to feel lost. I don’t like not knowing, but believing that it is part of the process normalizes it for me. It’s OK to feel lost is definitely going to be a new mantra of mine. How about you? Are you comfortable with uncertainty? How would believing it was part of the path change the way you feel about it?
3. Just keep moving
In that moment when I felt lost, I noticed that I actually physically stopped walking for a minute and tried to take in the entire labyrinth. Where was I? What way did I need to go to get to the center? Why couldn’t I figure it out? As these questions swirled around in my head I heard a small whisper from the back of my mind say, “Just keep moving”. It was easy for me to see the next stone that I needed to step on, even if I couldn’t figure out how the entire path was laid out. I love the story of Hansel and Gretel and following the breadcrumbs. Trying to figure it all out has been a stumbling block for me in my life. What I recognized in the labyrinth is that I don’t need to know all the steps of how to get from point A to point B, I just need to know the next step. I can go from breadcrumb to breadcrumb! All I have to do is to just keep moving? What works for you when you feel stuck or lost? How do you get yourself back into action?
4. It will get easier
The longer I was in the labyrinth, the easier it got. I think this is true for most things in life. Allowing ourselves to be beginners is important. I think back to when I first learned to drive a stick shift. There was a lot of jerking, and stalling. Now, I can drive a stick shift like a pro! As I grow my business and step into areas that are new to me, I am going to remind myself that the more I do something, the easier it will get and that it’s ok to jerk and stall in the beginning. Where do you need to allow yourself to be a beginner in your life? What will it take for you to believe that it will get easier?
5. Stay out of comparison
At some point in my labyrinth walk I found myself looking at everyone else and wondering if I was doing it “right”, even though we were told at the beginning that there was no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. As I go through my life, it’s important for me to be me. I want to be authentic. I want to walk my path in a way that honors my unique values, style and way of being. When I spend too much time comparing myself to others I tend to go into judgement and then I worry if I am doing it “right”. Staying our of comparison is a regular practice for me. How about you? Where does comparison get in your way?
6. Trust yourself
This was another one of the whispers I heard along the path. Practicing self-compassion is something that is on the top of my list these days. Imagine what it would be like, in that moment of decision (whatever the decision is) to say to yourself, “Trust yourself!”, “You got this!”, “Whatever comes your way, you’ll be able to handle it!”. These words, for me, are some of the most self-compassionate things I can say to myself. Yes, I am unsure about exactly how I am going to take my coaching business to the next level. Yes, it feels risky putting my self out there, but I got this! I trust myself! Where do you need to remind yourself to trust yourself?
7. Don’t be afraid to be both a leader and a follower
When it comes to life I realize that there are people who are on a similar path as me. Some are ahead of me and some are behind me. I used to believe that I was either a leader or a follower, but that I couldn’t be both at the same time. Now I believe that it is absolutely possible to be both at the same time. I can learn from those that have gone before me, while at the same time leading those that are coming up behind me. In my life I am often hesitant to call myself a “leader” because I am usually looking ahead and realizing that I am “following” those that have gone before me. How can I be a leader if I am a follower? The labyrinth taught me that I can indeed be both at the same time.
As I reflect on my takeaways from my experience last week, I am experiencing an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so grateful that I am surrounded by a community of supportive fellow life travelers. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Thank you for allowing me to be both a leader and a follower!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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