A few days ago some friends and I were discussing going back in time to teenage years. I confessed that I would never want to relive my younger years because of the growth and wisdom I now embrace. Long gone are the thoughts of not feeling I was enough! Now, I wake up every day feeling grateful and excited about who I am and what I share with the world. I am passionate about encouraging others to discard false beliefs that keep them quiet, feeling unworthy, and living small. I want people to live brave, bold, and full; being every bit of who they were created to be!
Just a short history of my journey. I grew up in a low-social economic home. My mom and dad were raised as farmers and were extremely hard workers. They refused to live with debt, therefore, we never bought a new car, expensive clothes, or had expensive toys. Growing up in an area where many of our neighbors had all the above, some kids can be cruel, condemning those who don’t have the latest and greatest and this is what happened to me. The result of this condemnation at an age too young to understand, I embraced numerous false lies.
As a child, I believed that my mom and dad were not good enough or smart enough to provide my sisters and me with nice things, and therefore thought that I too must be from the same mold. My favorite fairy tale was Cinderella because I believed that if I was pretty enough, my knight-in- shining armor would save me from my impoverished life. Unfortunately, as I grew older I struggled with my weight and so the dream and belief of being pretty enough was foiled. I worked so hard to be perfect… to be enough! Others would compliment me but deep inside my beliefs were that I would never be smart enough, good enough, or pretty enough…for something! I felt that no one would really like me if they knew the real me, therefore, I had to be someone else, someone who had it all together! I’m sure you can see how this turned out…not well…at least until I learned and believed the truth, that the only person I could be was me! I am now a firm believer that we attract into our lives what we believe we are and deserve. Looking back now it was like I was asking for people to manipulate, disrespect, and criticize me, because that is what I expected.
To shorten the story, on my 41st birthday I found myself separated from the love of my life and with no friends or family to remember my birthday. It was a sad, lonely, and desperate time, but out of it came a ray of hope and some valuable lessons that shaped me for a life full of passion to shout from the roof tops: each and every person is enough and has everything necessary and accessible to be complete!
If you struggle with similar false beliefs that keep you living small, here are a few strategies that transformed me; I pray that these move you from feeling “not enough” to realizing you are “COMPLETE!”
As we begin, I would like to share the definition of Complete: to have all the necessary or appropriate parts.
1. Embrace Uniqueness! There are no two people who are the same. Each of us has unique gifts and talents which we possess when we are born. Our experiences develop our talents into strengths that when applied makes our part of the world a better place. People in our lives are positively impacted when we invest our talents and strengths for the good of others. No other person can make the same impact in the exact same way. Trust that you make a difference!
2. There are No Mistakes! I’m sure all of us at one time or another could look back on our lives and shake our head and say, “That was really stupid!” There is a big difference between saying that and thinking, “I’m stupid!” I believe we are all on the journey of growing wisdom. We can only make our decisions based on the wisdom that we have in that particular moment. When we embrace each situation as the necessary “teacher” for our growing wisdom, we learn to look for the learning objective in each difficulty as research for our “Doctorate” in life!
3. Avoid Comparison! I (and everyone I know) am my own worst critic. We tend to always focus on what we don’t like about our lives, body, and/or self. Matters get even worse when we compare our lives or qualities to others we admire or want to emulate. We never measure up, because we are not supposed to! Going back to strategy one, we are unique, and our lives are not to be like anyone else’s. We are to create our own story; embrace and develop our gifts and talents into strengths to touch the lives around us.
4. Receive and Offer Grace and Forgiveness. When the critic inside shows up, review strategies 1, 2, and 3! When we learn how to provide grace and forgiveness to ourselves, it becomes easier to offer it to others. We are all on the same journey to feel and be complete and it makes it much more enjoyable when our company is supportive and encouraging verses judging and condemning…even if it is just yourself for now!
5. Share Your Gifts. We are made for connection! Research shows our bodies and lives thrive when we have positive social connection. Our level of stress decreases when we reach out to others in loving ways. When we share our gifts, talents, strengths and life lessons to serve, comfort, encourage, teach, and/or guide others for their greater good, a funny thing happens…we are the ones blessed by it. Pay attention to the things you share with others that expand your energy, joy, and fullness in your heart. These are the things the world needs, and only you in your unique way can give!
6. Live Fully Complete through Love. Each and every one of us has what we need to feel and live fully complete. Love is the key! Initially, love of self; by recognizing the amazing creation we are in all our uniqueness to serve and touch our part of the world! Our lives forever change those lives we touch. I know you are shaking your head at this last strategy thinking I’ve gone too far, but keep in mind one of the favorite Christmas movies played over and over every year is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You are making your impact on the world right now. Start embracing that you are made fully complete when you accept, embrace, and share unconditional love with each unique soul you meet.
If you want to know more about how to live a full, joyous, and complete life, please contact me for a coaching series to help you live and Be Complete! If local to the Frederick, Maryland area, please join me and the Wholistic Woman Retreats community on Wednesday, August 26th 2015 at 5:30 pm for our ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat and an introduction to Be Complete. Click here for details.
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age! Check out ATP Fitness to “Maximize” your 2015. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life! Contact Sandie via email at [email protected]