by Carol deLaski | May 30, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Courage, Retreats
Angela inspires me. Although she is afraid of heights, she bravely brought herself and her staff to the Wholistic Woman zip line retreat; knowing full well it would take her out of her comfort zone.
With a secure harness around her waist and a helmet on her head, she anxiously watched other women walk to the platform and be linked to the overhead cable by the facility expert. With cheers of encouragement, each woman then walked to the edge of the platform and, when they were ready, stepped off into thin air for the 600 foot zip line ride through the forest.
Tension grew in Angie’s face as she watched the women go before her and imagined taking the steps herself. Her 3 employees stood nearby and chatted excitedly about the opportunity to participate in this team building exercise and to support each other in being brave. First one, then another, went and soon it was Angie’s turn. She quietly said to me, “Well, there’s no turning back now. Here I go.” Even though no one was forcing her to do this she seemed to tap into an inner source of strength and bravely stepped to the platform and allowed herself to be linked to the zip line. She hesitantly approached the edge of the platform and fearfully looked down. Encouraging words from the watching women reminded her to look forward towards her goal…the end of the line and not at the ground below her. Taking a deep breath, and whispering a soft prayer, she stepped off the platform and was soon flying through the air. Clinging to the cable before her and feeling the rush of wind against her face, Angie’s look of fear soon spread into a smile of pure joy. The exhilaration of the ride overtook all her worries in the minutes that she zipped through the air. As she landed safely at the end of the line her joyful smile grew even bigger as she realized that she “did it”! The thrill of the ride was only surpassed by the exhilaration she felt inside for stepping beyond her fears. Receiving hugs and claps on the back from her employees and other surrounding women, Angie was practically floating as she walked through the woods back to the starting point.
I asked her how it felt and she radiated pure enthusiasm as she told me that is wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be…in fact it was really fun. We chatted as we moved to the next activity, a free-fall swing. Riding on her sense of accomplishment from having done the zip line, Angie looked at this next challenge and discovered her anxiety was again returning. Harnessed to a Y cable, women were being hoisted into the air by their teammates. When they were ready, each woman pulled the trigger to release themselves into a free-fall swing through the tree tops. Screams of excitement, delight, and also some fear resonated around Angie as she watched from a distance. “I’m not so sure about this one,” was her comment to me as we moved to pull the next woman into position. “Do what feels right for you,” was my advice to her, “we will support you in stretching as far as you want to go today.”
After watching each woman in our group do the free-fall swing from a variety of heights, Angie bravely stepped forward and said, “This scares me but I want to do it. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and regret that I didn’t do this.” With that she was attached to the Y cable and we slowly raised her into the air. Within a few feet she said loudly, “That’s enough…stop right there.” And we did. Respecting her wishes and the courage that she was tapping into to be in this position, we waited until she was ready to pull the trigger and release herself into a free-fall. Cheers surrounded her once more as she swung back and forth and then gently slowed to a stop. The smile that lit her face made my day. This 62 year- old woman epitomized for me what it means to me to be brave.
She felt her fear, yet she set herself up for success in several key ways which she explained to me afterwards.
She surrounded herself with people who encouraged her and supported her intention to overcome her fears.
She educated herself about the risks and made sure that she was working with experts who ensured a safe approach to those risks.
She brought a team to experience it with her and to remind her who she wants to be.
And last, but not least, she tapped into her own inner source of courage and strength. Believing in herself, and the God that she leans on, she took the leap to be all that she wants to be.
Almost a year later, I checked in with Angie to see how her courage has developed and the impact the retreat had on her business and her life. She said, “I’ve always been a cautious person, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t want my life to be controlled by fear. Stepping out and trying something that terrified me was exhilarating. Now when faced with a challenge, whether in business or in life, my new mantra is “I can do this!”
What does it take for you to be brave and overcome your fears?
Do you need information? Do you need support and encouragement from others? Does it help to see someone else go first before you take a leap?
Whether you need people, information, perspective, prayer or a combination of all four, it’s wise to know how to tap into your courage. Most of us face fear on a daily basis and we learn ways to overcome the mild nervousness we experience in order to do what we need to do each day.
But how do we manage the big things that scare us? Financial, medical, and relationship issues are just some of life’s challenges that can cause great anxiety within us.
How do we find the courage to face challenges?
I have found these three steps helpful when facing fear:
- Identify the fear. This can be hard to do because it feels vulnerable to admit that we are afraid. Yet, when we name our fear we begin to see how to manage it. Choices emerge about how to overcome fear once we see it and name it.
- Have a support team. Surround yourself with people who you trust and who inspire you to be brave. They will model courage for you and will cheer you on when you achieve both major and minor accomplishments.
- Take small steps. Courage grows every time you do something that scares you. For some of us it may be speaking in public, running a business, or learning a new skill…our fears vary and are as unique as we are. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you” which reminds us that courage takes practice. With every small step forward through our fears we develop our inner strength and courage.
What steps are you taking to be braver?
Grow more courageous at our 2016 Physical Adventure Retreat on June 29th from 3-8 pm.
This year we will be offering 3 exciting activities where you can Climb, Zip, and Leap out of your comfort zone.
Do 1, 2, or all 3 at the level that feels right to you.
Stretch and grow more courageous with us!
Click here for more details and registration information.
Questions can be sent to [email protected].
*Thank you to Angela Martin, owner of Shepherd’s Staff In-Home Care, and Wholistic Woman Member, for sharing her inspiring story with us.
* Click here to see photos from the 2015 Be Courageous Physical Adventure Retreat
This article was written by Carol deLaski, a professional certified coach, speaker, author, and Founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats. She specializes in strengths development for businesses and individuals. To learn more about her services, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | May 12, 2016 | Finances, Guest Blogging, Retreats
Financial Documents. Planning for the future. ‘What if’ scenarios. The state of your aging parent’s finances. Words and phrases that can often strike fear and anxiety in most of us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As with any subject, the more you can learn, the more you can release your fear around that topic and begin to plan and use the information to your benefit.
So, what do I mean by Financial Documents? It is the documents and information that should be in place in case of a ‘Life Event’, which is something that has a significant impact on your life, both financially and personally. This could be retirement, funding a child’s education or wedding, death of a spouse, divorce, job loss, and the like. Many of us don’t want to think about some of these topics, or don’t feel that there is any way we could ever be prepared, and so therefore, the topic gets ignored. But the reality is, the more you can educate yourself on this topic, the more prepared you will be to face an inevitable life event. Ignoring it doesn’t make it not happen, but addressing it makes the event much less stressful.
I was someone who did not want to face reality that something could go wrong, because I honestly thought that I would not be able to continue on. I would ask my husband, Sam, ‘what do I do if anything happens to you’. But when he said to me, ‘Karen, you could take care of things’ my answer would be a resounding ‘No way!’ and I’d end the conversation. I did not want to think about the possibility of a future of my life without him. So when the worst case scenario happened – he died very unexpectedly at the young age of 49 – not only was I not prepared financially, but I had lost the opportunity for his guidance on what I should do moving forward, especially with our business. We had our financial documents, but they weren’t adequate for what I needed after his death. So, in addition to dealing with the gut-wrenching agony of losing Sam, I was also dealing with the very stressful and anxiety-ridden topic of how in the world I was going to move forward, both financially and without his guidance.
Being prepared for a Life Event centers around two main topics – financial documents and conversations with your loved ones. Action steps you can take in those areas:
- Gather your important documents together
- Review the documents with your significant other or a loved one to become familiar with them and their contents, if you feel comfortable doing so
- Make an appointment with appropriate professional advisors to review the documents and determine if they are adequate for a Life Event
- Have regular conversations with your significant other and/or family members about the basics of your financial documents and/or situation
This can sometimes be an overwhelming topic to think about, let alone move forward. However, it is very important not only for yourself, but also for your loved ones. Acknowledgement, education and setting intentions, as with anything, is the key to moving forward.
Join Jane Helm and myself on May 25th as we lead the ‘Be You . . . Be Intentional’ seminar centered around being intentional with your financial life. For Details and registration information, click here
Today’s author, Karen Smith Racicot is a business and life coach assisting women and business owners with organizing their inventory of financial documents and being better prepared for a Life Event. She enjoys helping clients create more structure and organization in their financial life, assisting them with developing a path toward their life and financial goals.
Karen is the President of the Women’s Business Network, an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Women’s Retreats, a 2014 graduate of the Chamber’s Leadership Frederick County program, and a member of Zion Lutheran Church in Middletown. Visit her website E3coaching-md.com for information on working with Karen.
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by Carol deLaski | Apr 29, 2016 | Finances, Jane Helm
I had always believed that setting goals was instrumental in staying on track and getting things done. Goals are always related to a future result. They helped in advancing my career, improving my relationships and especially in creating a life of financial well -being. To achieve a goal, we know we need to make specific, measurable steps towards a desired outcome.
Goals can be tricky, though. They are easily sidelined by everyday life. Goals, while moving us toward what we say we want, can take us out of the moment and create a feeling that what we have isn’t enough. A background feeling of unease can come over us if our goal-oriented life discounts our present moment. In short, while goals can move us forward, we can also feel victimized when we aren’t moving towards achieving the goal as expected.
I once set a lofty financial goal of having a certain amount of money in my savings account. I strategized, re-worked my budget and was determined to save as much money as I could. My focus was completely centered on a number. Over the next several months I experienced a few setbacks including an unexpected vehicle repair, and unforeseen medical expenses. Within a short amount of time I felt discouraged and demoralized. In this case, the future result that was opposite of my goal–I was exasperated. I almost decided that it would be easier to give up on the possibility that my future would include any version of financial security than to focus on such a goal.
Living your intentions, on the other hand, is much different than having a goal-oriented focus. Being intentional allows you to focus on how you want to be in the moment, independent of whether you are winning or losing. Allowing intentions to guide your moment to moment focus, means you are living your values and what matters most to you.
Focusing on our intentions does not mean we give up our goals or desire for achievement. By partnering goals with intentions we enjoy the journey as much as the destination! Here are three differences between goal setting and intentions:
- Goals are focused on the future. Intentions are in the present moment.
- Goals are a destination or specific achievement. Intentions are lived each day, independent of reaching the goal or destination.
- Goals are external achievements. Intentions are your inner-relationships with yourself and others.
Instead of setting a specific goal, had I set my intention regarding my savings account, I could have focused on feeling financially aware and empowered rather than frustrated and defeated. Even though several emergencies had taken actual dollars away from my goal, I could have focused on my intention of being empowered–I was able to pay those bills!
When our intentions are aligned with our goals we can experience a life of authenticity. What better gift than to spend our lives in being true to our core values and beliefs!
I am excited to share the power of intention at the “Be Intentional” Evening Retreat and hope you will join me there.
This will be an opportunity to shift your focus to what is possible when we connect with our inner values, allowing our intentions to be the guiding light to living in the moment.
Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s Author: Jane Helm is the Principal of Money Mentor Group. As a wealth coach, Jane combines decades of financial services experience with a degree in social work and psychology to bring positive financial change to her client’s lives. She is an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Woman Retreat group and co-founded the Bring Your Own Business Success networking group. Jane can be reached via email at [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Apr 24, 2016 | Happiness, Laura Hall, Retreats
This blog was originally published in 2001 but its words are timeless and timely with our ‘Be Happier’ event scheduled for Wednesday, April 27th. Enjoy and we hope to see you on Wednesday 🙂
“Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.”
A couple years ago, I bought a plaque with these words imprinted on it to remind myself and my family that happiness is a choice. When I read this quote it reminds me to look for happiness in the present, in where I am and what I’m doing right now. It reminds me to be cautious about thinking thoughts like, “When I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll be happy”, or “If only I could make more money, then I’ll be happier”. You see, I believe that happiness comes from the inside out, not the other way around. That it is a way of being. It is not dependent on how I look, or what I have. I believe happiness comes from knowing (and reminding myself when I forget) of my inherent self worth and practicing gratitude on a regular basis.
I have to admit that happiness comes relatively easy to me. I’ve always been the type of person to see the glass as half full, not half empty. One of my favorite books in elementary school was “Pollyanna”. My parents helped by raising me to believe that life is happening for me, NOT to me, and this core thought has allowed me to always look for the life lessons – even in the face of struggle or adversity, and then to practice gratitude for the lessons learned.
I know that not everyone is like me and that some of us struggle with finding happiness. What I’d like to suggest is that you stop looking for happiness and start creating it. What I am proposing is a Happiness Experiment. This experiment is being designed for everyone. There is no specific age, gender, socioeconomic status, or minimum current level of happiness necessary to be able to participate. My hypothesis is that by practicing 5 simple steps on a daily basis for one week, your happiness will increase by 20%.
Now I just need some volunteers…This is where you come in! 🙂 The first thing I need you to do is to rate your happiness on a scale of 0 to 10 with 0 representing no happiness and 10 representing complete happiness. Before you read any more, I need you to come up with your happiness rating, and if you are really gutsy, why don’t you post your starting point in the comments for this blog. 😉
OK, now that you have your number, here are the 5 steps, and what you’ll be committing to should you be willing to participate in my happiness experiment with me:
- Define what happiness means to you – On day one of The Happiness Experiment you will be taking the time to write down your own personal definition of happiness. You will be completing the statement, “Happiness is…” When you think of happiness, what words come to mind? Think of the last time you remember being happy, what did that feel like? Are there certain people, or certain types of people who trigger your happiness? What about certain places? What physical sensations do you experience when you are happy? Who are you being when you are happy? Maybe even look at it from the other side, when you are unhappy, what is missing from your experience that is fueling your unhappiness? Once you’ve written your definition, you will need to write it down and put it someplace where you can read at it at least once a day for the remainder of the week.
- Sing out loud – Pick a song, any song, channel your inner diva and use your big girl voice to belt it out! I know for some of you this is going to feel very uncomfortable at first, and that’s OK, but as Nike says, “Just Do It”! The details are not important. You can sing in the shower, in the car to your favorite song, with people watching, or in total privacy. Just sing!
- Dance – This is about moving your body in a fun, life affirming way. I suggest turning the music up, closing your eyes and letting the energy move you. Spinning also seems to work for me, but again, there is no “right” way to do this, so whatever feels right to you is right. Go with it!
(Note #2 and #3 can be combined) As an aside, if you are ever in Mt. Airy, MD and you see a 40 year old woman in a blue Hyundai Sonata belting out Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” while waving her arms in what may look like some sort of seizure, don’t worry! That’s me combining #2 and #3.
- Intentionally smile at someone – Making a point to smile is such a simple thing to do, yet so many of us don’t take the time to do this on a regular basis. Who can you share a smile with? Maybe it’s a stranger you pass while walking down the street. Maybe it’s a coworker you see in the elevator each morning. Maybe it’s your child who is not used to seeing your face light up when they enter the room. Maybe it’s your spouse or significant other as they walk through the door after a long day at work. Maybe it’s you as you see yourself in the mirror brushing your teeth at the end of the day. There really is no excuse for not getting this one done.
- Practice gratitude – When you wake up each morning, I want you to ask yourself, “What am I most grateful for?” and write it down. As the day goes on, continue to look for things to be grateful for. As these new gratitudes arise ask yourself if this new gratitude surpasses the one you started your day off with. If it does, cross out your 1st one and replace it with your new one. Stick with this all day, so that by the time you go to bed, you will have the thing you were most grateful for today at the bottom of your list. Write this one down on a piece of paper by your bed, so that by the end of the week you’ll have a gratitude listed for each day of the experiment.
Are you in? Will you be part of my Happiness Experiment? What have you got to lose? The idea is to complete all 5 steps for 7 days in a row. Give yourself permission to be silly. This is meant to be fun!
At the end of your week with the Happiness Experiment, re-assess what number you give yourself on the happiness scale and let me know how it went. Did your number increase? If so, by how much? What step was the easiest for you? What step did you struggle with? Please share your comments, so I know whether my hypothesis proved to be true or false. I look forward to hearing from you! Laura
Want to join us Wednesday? Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Apr 14, 2016 | Guest Blogging, Happiness
Today’s guest blogger is Wholistic Woman Retreats’ member, Cathy Hansen. Cathy showcased her Laughter Yoga at our 2016 Strong You Retreat. Today she writes to introduce you to Laughter Yoga. We know you are going to enjoy this one!
It was my first trip outside of the U. S….I was alone in a cab with a non-English speaking driver as we exited the airport in the pouring rain. I was confident that I was on the right track because my trip coordinator had warned me to only hire a cab authorized by the Mexico City airport. When the cabbie turned down an isolated side street, pulled over and parked, I wasn’t so sure I that I had made a smart choice after all. My heart was in my throat until he pulled out a map; I knew then that he simply didn’t know how to reach my destination.
When I finally reached the retreat location an hour later, it was nearly dark and still pouring. It didn’t take long after we piled onto a crowded bus, for me to discover that only eleven of us spoke English. There were multiple languages being spoken as the participants got to know one another. That led to interesting teamwork four hours later when our driver decided to take a shortcut to the ashram through a rain soaked pasture. When the bus sunk axle-deep into the mud three miles from the ashram at 2 a.m., it was clear that the bus wasn’t going to go any further.
This was my introduction to the power of Laughter Yoga (LY)!
You might think that everyone on board would have been tired, irritable, and justifiably impatient from this series of mishaps, but not this group! After all, we were laughter yoga leaders. We kept our energy up with a hearty chant. HO HO, HA HA HA! And laughter followed.
That was in 2009 and I was already a Yoga leader. Its joyful and wholistic approach to promoting wellness had me completely hooked. I had come to this ashram in Mexico to earn my teaching certification under the watchful eye of LY’s founder, Dr. Maddan Kataria, of Mumbai, India.
What is Laughter Yoga?
Laughter Yoga is a refreshing and innovative practice that provides a new approach to stress management as well as physical and mental well-being through laughter. The secret of Laughter Yoga is that our bodies are hardwired to release powerful, natural benefits from extended, hearty laughter. LY uses a series of visualizations and pantomimes that are designed to generate laughter. The “yoga” portion comes from the yogic breathing interjected between the exercises to reduce heart rate and stress levels. Laughter itself, whether authentic or simulated, boosts the power of an aerobic workout in an easy and entertaining way.
Benefits of Laughter Yoga:
• Ten minutes of hearty laughter equals 30 minutes on a rowing machine
• Fifteen minutes of laughter every day can help you lose up to 4 lbs in a year
• A boost in confidence and increased overall sense of well-being
• Improves trust through increased communication
• Simultaneous reduction in physical, mental, and emotional stress
• A huge lift to your energy
• Lowered blood pressure
What can you expect from a Laughter Yoga session?
During a LY session, participants gather in a circle and follow the instructor’s lead as she prompts them to envision positive reactions to a series of negative situations. These scenarios are familiar to most people, such as running late in an airport, or opening a jaw-dropping credit card bill. The core message of LY is to foster joy and reinforce the fact that laughter is a natural, healing, technique.
The LY instructor gives participants techniques to incorporate laughter into their daily routines in simple ways, such as:
• Designating a specific door knob or handle to be a laughter trigger each time you touch it.
• Choosing three stop signs or traffic lights which you pass regularly as laughter reminders. Fortunately, with today’s wireless technology, other drivers will just think you’re listening to a really great story!
Prior to embarking on my journey in 2009, and creating my company, Laugh ‘N Live Well, I was on medication for hypertension and suffered from high anxiety. My personal testimony is that I’m no longer on medication and my anxiety has been lowered significantly. Perhaps most importantly, applying the LY attitude of positivity and gratitude has vastly reduced my stress levels.
I recall the day when a diabetic student nurse approached me after completing a LY session with me. She explained that before the session had begun she had tested her glucose and it was quite high. She considered doing an injection of insulin, but decided that she would wait until after the session and re-check. Upon doing so, she was excited to report that her glucose level had dropped by 200 points within the 50 minute session! Her story is a great example of the tremendous positive effect laughter has on our health and well-being.
In addition to reducing stress, LY is a great cardio workout. It is an easy, fun and joyful way to increase your energy and boost your immune system without the physical challenges of traditional yoga. Better yet, you do it in a welcoming environment surrounded by like-minded, happiness-seeking people.
My wish for you is that LY becomes part of your wellness journey.
Today’s author: Cathy Hansen is a certified Laughter Yoga instructor and owner of Laugh ‘N Live Well. She provides Laughter Yoga facilitation services for corporate training programs, conferences, networking events, yoga studios, and women’s business and social groups. Cathy is passionate about introducing the Laughter Yoga experience to those with a desire to have fun and increase their well-being. In addition, Cathy is currently attending the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). If you would like to learn more or arrange for Cathy to offer LY to your group you can contact her at 717-414-8849 or visit her website- www.laughnlivewell.net.
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