by Carol deLaski | Oct 1, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
What is a Labyrinth?
A labyrinth can be many things to many people. It may be used for relaxation, meditation, healing, spiritual guidance, reconnection within, awakening of creativity, self –empowerment, decision-making, celebration, and simply for the fun of it.It’s important to note that it is a spiritual practice and is not a magical tool. The process can be done as often as we like for body, heart, mind, and spiritual well-being.
It’s important to note that there is no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. A basic approach is to quiet the mind and open the heart. It has sometimes been called “body prayer” or walking meditation as we let go of thinking and move with intention. There is only one way in, and one way out. It isn’t a puzzle or maze to be solved so we can disengage from mental activity and simply be present.
It may be viewed as a metaphor for life’s journey – the path inward represents letting go of the cares of the world; the center is the place of transformation and illumination; the journey out represents the integration of the new self with the old as we seek to be whole.
How do I walk a Labyrinth?
There are several parts to walking a labyrinth which you may consider as you approach your experience. Feel free to adopt what feels best for you. Honor your own process.
Before you begin:
Consider how you want to feel the ground beneath your feet and decide if you will walk with or without shoes. At the entrance to the labyrinth, pause and open your senses as you center yourself with a few deep breaths. Acknowledge your coming meditative or spiritual journey with the labyrinth by perhaps closing your eyes, saying a prayer, bowing your head, waist, or knees and set the intention for your walk.
Possible Intentions:
- Why am I here?
- What physical, emotional, or soul need brings me here today?
- What do I need to let go of at this time to manifest the next step in my life?
- What do I need to bring into my life to take that next step?
- Ask for clarity on an important matter in your life.
- Ask for guidance in making an important decision.
- Ask to be awakened to the resources you need to manifest your soul’s desires.
- Harmonize with the energy of the labyrinth.
- Honor yourself for following your soul’s journey.
- Express gratitude for all that you have.
- Ask for nothing. Just listen.
Begin your Walk Inward:
The first step sets the pace for your walk. It can be fast or slow depending on your intention. Are you being spiritual, reflective, mindful, playful, creative, or something else? If you’re problem solving, your walk becomes a meditation when you surrender all your problems and just walk. Other parts of you have now a chance to process your request of a solution. If you are very upset: fast walking releases those emotions easier. Most people try calming their mind by taking slow and deliberate steps.
Many use the inward journey to the center as a “letting go” – a quieting of the thoughts, worries, concerns, ‘what ifs’, and to-do lists. Try to keep your mind open, and release thoughts each time they arise. Concentrate on the placement of one foot before the other and rhythmic, gentle and regular breathing.
If the intention of your walk is to solve a problem, walk as if you didn’t have the problem…let it go. Surrender to the activity of attentive walking. Let your burdens fall off your shoulders and allow the various parts of your being to process your wish for a solution. Let it incubate and try not to interfere or direct a solution. Let go of any expectations.
If you’re walking for a spiritual connection or to seek creative inspiration….again, let go of expectations and surrender to the experience of mindful walking.
At the Center:
The rosette in the middle is where you ‘let in’ the answers and blessings that are meant for you. Pause at the center of the labyrinth for as long or short as you like. You may stay here awhile in the posture of your choosing; stand, sit, lay down, do a yoga pose, bow, reach your hands upwards….whatever feels best for you. You may want to say a prayer, reflect, meditate, listen for answers and deeper revelations, or express gratitude depending on the intention of your walk. Take all the time you need as you move through your inner process. Quietly receive what is meant for you.
Walking Outward:
When you are ready, accept what you have received, and begin walking deliberatively outward. Allow the insights and gifts you’ve been given to integrate into your heart and soul. As you move back into your life be empowered by the connection you have received through your body, heart, mind and spirit. Invite it to transform your life and move you along your path to wholeness. Express gratitude for what you have received in the way that feels best to you.
Exiting:
When you exit the labyrinth you may want to continue walking, reflecting and praying, or take time to sit and journal about your experience. Do what you need to absorb the benefits of your experience.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to info@wholisticwomanretreats.com
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: Carol@caroldelaski.com
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 24, 2014 | Guest Blogging, Personal Development, Retreats, Self-Care
Today I want to write about our upcoming Wholistic Woman event: Be Calm when we will travel to Bon Secours Retreat Center to do a labyrinth walk and picnic.
I can’t actually write about doing a labyrinth walk… because I’ve never done one.
I have, however, experienced being calm. I actually think I’m a relatively calm person, especially since participating in coach training. I learned how I calm myself when I need to:
- I listen to what I’m saying to myself (my self-talk),
- I write it down,
- I reflect on it,
- I examine it’s level of truth, and I shift to what is really true.
- I try to focus on what is important to me (my values) and what I want in life.
- That calms me.
What does it mean to be calm? One definition I found said that it is “a condition free of storms, high wind, and rough water”, and I thought…that’s impossible in the turbulent lives we lead.
Another definition said that it is “a state of tranquility.” That’s attractive to me. I picture a pond that looks like glass, soft sounds in the background, crystal clear fresh air, and blue sky, I feel centered, whole, confident, and clear.
The main definition is “a quiet and peaceful state or condition, a peaceful mental or emotional state”. That sounds great! I want more of that.
How do we get there? I know I have techniques that work for me and I am open to learning new ones. I hear Bon Secours is a beautiful place with ponds, gardens, and an opportunity to reflect. I look forward to walking the labyrinth with other women in the wholistic community and looking inward to see what new level of calm I can achieve.
Please join me in this new experience! Click here for details and to register.
Today’s author: Lisa DiSciullo, CPCC, is a Certified Life Coach in Summit, NJ, with her own practice working with her clients as they are developing clarity, growth, and fulfillment in their lives. She is a founding member of the Wholistic Woman Retreats group and a Parent Educator with the Parent Encouragement Program. She can be reached at lisadcoaching@gmail.com.
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 8, 2014 | Kelye Rouse-Brown, Retreats
As I sit and twirl in my new hammock tree swing I feel my mom’s arms wrapped around me. I just got this beautiful visual from my new writer friend who helped me feel the hug this morning. My summer has been one that is filled with anxiety and worry and stillness and calm. That’s because I have been working on my Tree of Life garden to honor my mom and feel her presence. I was reminded I don’t have to rush through the process to create this space and can take my time, hence the anxiety and now stillness and calm. It’s been over a year that I have started this planning, first with an ornament on the tree to set the focus and stone steps leading to the strong tree. Then colorful river rocks filling the space under the tree, a bench from my mom’s garden, a birdbath and now a cuddly swing to drink coffee in the morning in. The space is serene and I feel her presence. Friends and family have dropped off plants from their gardens or helped me in the garden and this has helped me with the process, one that I don’t think will ever end. This is a process that is creating less and less anxiety for me and now more still and calm. I have always enjoyed these meditative spaces to calm my soul and am feeling so joyful one is in my back yard now.
If you are searching for space to provide calmness and serenity consider joining our Be Calm event on October 4th (Click here for details) that will include a labyrinth, an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space. This visual alone makes me think of my tree hugging swing above my circular stones below me in my space leading the way. Stay or move along and be wrapped in hugs today.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at kelye@krbtrainingsolutions.com or visit her website www.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 28, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
Do you ever have trouble quieting your mind? Is life so full of activities and obligations that you find it hard to settle down and be calm? At times, I can feel overly busy and in need of some peace and quiet. Can you relate?
When I feel stressed, I know that I need to unplug and focus my attention within. This can take place as a quick meditative moment when I pause and appreciate the beauty of nature, or listen to a song that touches my heart, or just simply close my eyes and breathe mindfully. At other times I need more than just a moment and I turn to different ways to settle my body, heart, mind and spirit.
One way that I focus my attention within is to hold a special heart-shaped stone that has a spiral etched onto its surface. It fits perfectly into the palm of my hand and the weight of its solidness is somehow comforting as I hold it. When I gaze at the spiral in this stone I am reminded of a labyrinth.
The path of a labyrinth is also in the shape of a spiral. When I walk a labyrinth, I feel as if I am traveling inward to my core. Whether I walk meditatively, joyously, or thoughtfully, when I reach the center, I linger to savor the experience before mindfully walking outward…back into the world.
Labyrinth walking is an ancient practice used by many different faiths for spiritual centering, prayer, or contemplation. As I walk the labyrinth inward, I connect with my intuition, to that inner wisdom that is uniquely my own. Then as I walk the spiral outward I prepare to take that insight into my life. For me, a labyrinth symbolizes the balancing act between being and doing. As I center myself I am focused and present. Then, when I return to my daily activities I am stronger and better able to handle the challenges before me.
How do you walk a labyrinth?
Before I begin my walk, I consider how I want to approach the experience. I may want to connect with feelings of joy or gratitude as I move forward. Or perhaps I have a problem that is weighing heavy on my mind or heart. If so, I may set the intention to receive guidance about that problem as I enter the labyrinth. I state the problem, take a few mindful breaths, and then walk the spiraled path inward towards its center. Clearing my mind of all thoughts and releasing the need to solve the problem, I practice being receptive and open to answers that arise through my heart and spirit. I allow imagery, creativity, and intuition, to lead me and I let go of thinking.
Labyrinths are sometimes confused with mazes. A maze has twists and turns, and dead ends. It is a puzzle to be solved and requires thinking and logic. By contrast, a labyrinth offers only one way in, and one way out, so you don’t have to think about anything as you walk. This makes it easier to let go of thoughts and to settle into your heart and spirit.
It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience a labyrinth. The only choices to make are whether or not to enter it and how you would like to approach it. What attitude will accompany you on the walk? Will it be meditative, joyous, grateful, seeking, or perhaps prayerful? You may want to listen to music, recite a centering prayer or mantra, or focus on your breath as it goes in and out. The choice is yours. As you pay attention to your experience of this inward journey to your heart, be aware and open to the guidance that this centering exercise offers you. Be sure to let it settle into your being when you pause at the center of the labyrinth’s spiral and then bring this feeling with you as you walk the path outwards, back into life.
I believe that calmness and balance are within our reach when we practice being present with ourselves, and being receptive to the guidance that the Universe and God has to offer us. By letting go of busyness, and opening our hearts to receive inner wisdom, we can return to the activities of daily life clearer about our purpose and who we are.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to info@wholisticwomanretreats.com
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: Carol@caroldelaski.com.
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by Carol deLaski | Jun 25, 2014 | Courage, Laura Hall, Retreats
I believe that it’s important to become comfortable being uncomfortable. Let’s be honest, life is often uncomfortable! When was the last time you remember feeling uncomfortable? Do you have discomfort triggers?
Do difficult conversations cause you to squirm in your seat? How do you feel about public speaking, or how about watching someone who is struggling with public speaking? Does being in an elevator with strangers wig you out? What was it like to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees? Are you comfortable with people crying? Does it make a difference whether the crier is male or female? When your bank account balance drops below a certain level, does that make you uncomfortable? How do you feel when someone asks you, “Why are you so quiet? Or “Why are you so loud? Are there situations at work that make you feel uncomfortable? Yes, life can often be uncomfortable.
In my earlier years I would often run from discomfort. If something was outside of my comfort zone, I would avoid it at all costs. That strategy worked for me for a little while, but eventually it caught up to me. What happened was that I noticed there were big picture things I wanted to do, but some of the details were out of my comfort zone. For example, I knew I wanted to become a life coach, but the idea of having to coach a master certified coach was outside of my comfort zone (quite frankly, it scared me more than I wanted to admit). I knew at that time that I needed to adopt a new strategy, and since that time I’ve been practicing being comfortable being uncomfortable.
So what are some of the problems with the comfort zone? The problems that come to mind for me is that it limits my learning or experiencing new things, it keeps me closed minded, it can get so comfortable that I get lazy or complacent. It can lead to boredom.
Rational psychologist, Windy Dryden, author of the book, “10 Steps to Positive Living”, says that a lot of human suffering comes from being intolerant of discomfort. He says that the reason we are intolerant of discomfort is because we massively overestimate how uncomfortable our feared situations will be, and that the more we avoid these situations, the more uncomfortable we’ll find them. So maybe I’m on to something in trying to practice being comfortable being uncomfortable.
Dryden says, that the more you practice putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more your brain habituates to them. Or in my words, being comfortable being uncomfortable leads to more comfort 🙂
Just for fun, I took a quick survey of my husband,my children, my friend, and her kids around the question, “Why do you think it’s important to step out of you your comfort zone?”. Here are their responses:
- It stretches you to grow
- It challenges you and helps you see just how strong you really are
- It gives you courage when you face a fear
- It gets you to try new things and learn new thing
- It builds your confidence
Now it’s your turn…Why do you think it’s important to step outside your comfort zone?
Are you ready to walk your talk? Wholistic Woman Retreat’s next event is titled “Be Courageous” and it’s about stepping outside your comfort zone. Consider joining us on July 15th for a positive, enriching and encouraging evening with other Wholistic Women. Click here for details
And for a little taste of what you can expect from the zip line portion of the evening, check out this video:
[yframe url=’http://youtu.be/Z4EcDqbphb8′]
https://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4EcDqbphb8&feature=em-share_video_user
Hope you see you there!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at laura@hallcoaching.com or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | May 29, 2014 | Fear, Laura Hall, Retreats
Are you in control of your thoughts or do your thoughts control you?
I have long believed that we, as human beings, aren’t in control of much, but one thing we can most certainly control is our thoughts. A quick google search on books on this included titles such as “Change your Thoughts, Change Your Life” by Wayne Dyer, “Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow” by Karen Casey, “The Weight Loss Mindset: 10 Thoughts that are Keeping You Fat” by Sarah Patterson, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” by Daniel G. Amen, and the list could go on and on.
For me, the real question is not IF we can control our thoughts, but rather, HOW? How do we change our thoughts? Especially those really pesky thoughts that are holding us back in some way and keeping us from being all we are meant to be and do all the things we are meant to do. It’s one thing to subscribe to the belief that we are in control of our thoughts; it’s something all together different to put it into action. A couple years ago I went to see Eckhart Tolle speak and he was asked a question about how to let go of negative thought patterns. His answer was….you simply drop it, just like you’d drop a hot potato. After you drop it, if you find yourself holding it again you just drop it again. At the time, I didn’t find that answer very helpful. I wanted a more detailed answer with specific steps. What I know now is simple is better. I’ve been practicing dropping unwanted thoughts like hot potatoes, and guess what….It works!
Here’s a little story about how I recently dealt with one of those pesky little….OK, pesky big unwanted thoughts. If I was giving it a title, it would be “Dental Phobia: True Confessions from the Wife of a Dentist”.
As a child, I can’t remember one single dentist appointment where I didn’t have a least one cavity. I would brush my teeth regularly. I would use the little red tablets that would show you where you weren’t brushing effectively enough and focus on those areas. I would rinse with nasty tasting Listerine – the one in the brown bottle that would come wrapped in paper. It was horrible! I was determined that my next visit would be cavity free, but to no avail. What made it worse is that my brother had no where near the oral hygiene that I did, but he would show up cavity free. As a result I grew to dread going to the dentist. Everything about it made me anxious. The smell of the office – that mixture of cleaning products and burning teeth, the cheezy Muzak that did nothing to soothe my young soul, the sticky vinyl of the chairs of torture all contributed to my absolute terror.
Fast forward to my college years. It was during this time that I met my husband. He was a biology major. You can do a million things with a biology major. Of course he picked the one career path that had I known that was where his biology degree was going to take him, I would have gone running in the complete opposite direction. You guessed it…He became a dentist. I now had a problem! I was in love with Bill Hall, but he was becoming the thing I feared the most. How did I handle it you ask, I pushed the scary thoughts about dentists under the rug and tried to remind myself that he loved me and wasn’t going to hurt me. I know in those early days, I was a nightmare of a patient to him. My fear caused me to over manage him when I was in the dental chair…”don’t do that”, “let me sit up for a minute”, “I hate that flavor of flouride”…blah,blah,blah! I was a chronic complainer at the dentist office. I was the person Lisa talked about in her blog last week. (Click here if you missed it) I didn’t like who I was in that environment. It was clear to me that my thoughts and fears were bringing out a side of me that I didn’t like. Then I remembered that I believe I am in control of my thoughts and decided to do something about them.
At my last visit, Bill told me that a lot of my fillings were getting old and were in need of being replaced. I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to practice dropping the hot potato of negative thoughts about dental treatment. What I found was that it was easier to drop the negative thoughts when I could replace them with a different thought. “This is going to hurt” became “I’ve had 2 natural childbirths…I can handle this” or “It’s just a sensation”. What I found was that there wasn’t any pain. My brain was telling me that dental procedures are painful but the truth is, it wasn’t.
It was also interesting to observe how my body responded to my thoughts. About every 30 seconds, I noticed that my fists were clenching and my shoulders were tense. As soon as I noticed that, I would just remind myself to “relax”. I would try to slow down my breathing and let my body melt into the comfortable chair (NOT the chair of torture!).
This experience took a lot of focus on my part. My old thought patterns came automatically; the new ones took a lot of energy. By the end of the visit, I was exhausted, but I felt good about practicing being in control of my thoughts. I trust that just like building a muscle, the more I practice this, the easier it’s going to get.
So in answering the question of how do we change our thoughts? Here is what I observed in hindsight:
1. Awareness – notice the thoughts that are holding you back
2. Decide; make a conscious choice to change them
3. Replace old thought with new thoughts
4. Pay attention to your body; sometimes it speaks first
5. Repeat this process – moment by moment if necessary
The moral of the story for me is that what you think matters. Look at the areas of your life that you’d like to see changes in and work on changing your thoughts.
Over here at Wholistic Woman Retreats we are getting ready for our annual zip line retreat event. As I’ve been talking to women about joining us, I’ve run into a few people who say, “Oh, I could never do that!”. If that is you, I’d like to challenge you to consider giving it a try. It is really very easy, just ask Carol deLaski’s 80 something year old mother who has joined us on several occasions. Stop telling yourself your can’t and start telling yourself you can. What you think matters! You can find details on how to register by clicking here.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at laura@hallcoaching.com or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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