by Carol deLaski | Sep 8, 2014 | Kelye Rouse-Brown, Retreats
As I sit and twirl in my new hammock tree swing I feel my mom’s arms wrapped around me. I just got this beautiful visual from my new writer friend who helped me feel the hug this morning. My summer has been one that is filled with anxiety and worry and stillness and calm. That’s because I have been working on my Tree of Life garden to honor my mom and feel her presence. I was reminded I don’t have to rush through the process to create this space and can take my time, hence the anxiety and now stillness and calm. It’s been over a year that I have started this planning, first with an ornament on the tree to set the focus and stone steps leading to the strong tree. Then colorful river rocks filling the space under the tree, a bench from my mom’s garden, a birdbath and now a cuddly swing to drink coffee in the morning in. The space is serene and I feel her presence. Friends and family have dropped off plants from their gardens or helped me in the garden and this has helped me with the process, one that I don’t think will ever end. This is a process that is creating less and less anxiety for me and now more still and calm. I have always enjoyed these meditative spaces to calm my soul and am feeling so joyful one is in my back yard now.
If you are searching for space to provide calmness and serenity consider joining our Be Calm event on October 4th (Click here for details) that will include a labyrinth, an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space. This visual alone makes me think of my tree hugging swing above my circular stones below me in my space leading the way. Stay or move along and be wrapped in hugs today.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website www.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 28, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
Do you ever have trouble quieting your mind? Is life so full of activities and obligations that you find it hard to settle down and be calm? At times, I can feel overly busy and in need of some peace and quiet. Can you relate?
When I feel stressed, I know that I need to unplug and focus my attention within. This can take place as a quick meditative moment when I pause and appreciate the beauty of nature, or listen to a song that touches my heart, or just simply close my eyes and breathe mindfully. At other times I need more than just a moment and I turn to different ways to settle my body, heart, mind and spirit.
One way that I focus my attention within is to hold a special heart-shaped stone that has a spiral etched onto its surface. It fits perfectly into the palm of my hand and the weight of its solidness is somehow comforting as I hold it. When I gaze at the spiral in this stone I am reminded of a labyrinth.
The path of a labyrinth is also in the shape of a spiral. When I walk a labyrinth, I feel as if I am traveling inward to my core. Whether I walk meditatively, joyously, or thoughtfully, when I reach the center, I linger to savor the experience before mindfully walking outward…back into the world.
Labyrinth walking is an ancient practice used by many different faiths for spiritual centering, prayer, or contemplation. As I walk the labyrinth inward, I connect with my intuition, to that inner wisdom that is uniquely my own. Then as I walk the spiral outward I prepare to take that insight into my life. For me, a labyrinth symbolizes the balancing act between being and doing. As I center myself I am focused and present. Then, when I return to my daily activities I am stronger and better able to handle the challenges before me.
How do you walk a labyrinth?
Before I begin my walk, I consider how I want to approach the experience. I may want to connect with feelings of joy or gratitude as I move forward. Or perhaps I have a problem that is weighing heavy on my mind or heart. If so, I may set the intention to receive guidance about that problem as I enter the labyrinth. I state the problem, take a few mindful breaths, and then walk the spiraled path inward towards its center. Clearing my mind of all thoughts and releasing the need to solve the problem, I practice being receptive and open to answers that arise through my heart and spirit. I allow imagery, creativity, and intuition, to lead me and I let go of thinking.
Labyrinths are sometimes confused with mazes. A maze has twists and turns, and dead ends. It is a puzzle to be solved and requires thinking and logic. By contrast, a labyrinth offers only one way in, and one way out, so you don’t have to think about anything as you walk. This makes it easier to let go of thoughts and to settle into your heart and spirit.
It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience a labyrinth. The only choices to make are whether or not to enter it and how you would like to approach it. What attitude will accompany you on the walk? Will it be meditative, joyous, grateful, seeking, or perhaps prayerful? You may want to listen to music, recite a centering prayer or mantra, or focus on your breath as it goes in and out. The choice is yours. As you pay attention to your experience of this inward journey to your heart, be aware and open to the guidance that this centering exercise offers you. Be sure to let it settle into your being when you pause at the center of the labyrinth’s spiral and then bring this feeling with you as you walk the path outwards, back into life.
I believe that calmness and balance are within our reach when we practice being present with ourselves, and being receptive to the guidance that the Universe and God has to offer us. By letting go of busyness, and opening our hearts to receive inner wisdom, we can return to the activities of daily life clearer about our purpose and who we are.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to [email protected]
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Jun 25, 2014 | Courage, Laura Hall, Retreats
I believe that it’s important to become comfortable being uncomfortable. Let’s be honest, life is often uncomfortable! When was the last time you remember feeling uncomfortable? Do you have discomfort triggers?
Do difficult conversations cause you to squirm in your seat? How do you feel about public speaking, or how about watching someone who is struggling with public speaking? Does being in an elevator with strangers wig you out? What was it like to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees? Are you comfortable with people crying? Does it make a difference whether the crier is male or female? When your bank account balance drops below a certain level, does that make you uncomfortable? How do you feel when someone asks you, “Why are you so quiet? Or “Why are you so loud? Are there situations at work that make you feel uncomfortable? Yes, life can often be uncomfortable.
In my earlier years I would often run from discomfort. If something was outside of my comfort zone, I would avoid it at all costs. That strategy worked for me for a little while, but eventually it caught up to me. What happened was that I noticed there were big picture things I wanted to do, but some of the details were out of my comfort zone. For example, I knew I wanted to become a life coach, but the idea of having to coach a master certified coach was outside of my comfort zone (quite frankly, it scared me more than I wanted to admit). I knew at that time that I needed to adopt a new strategy, and since that time I’ve been practicing being comfortable being uncomfortable.
So what are some of the problems with the comfort zone? The problems that come to mind for me is that it limits my learning or experiencing new things, it keeps me closed minded, it can get so comfortable that I get lazy or complacent. It can lead to boredom.
Rational psychologist, Windy Dryden, author of the book, “10 Steps to Positive Living”, says that a lot of human suffering comes from being intolerant of discomfort. He says that the reason we are intolerant of discomfort is because we massively overestimate how uncomfortable our feared situations will be, and that the more we avoid these situations, the more uncomfortable we’ll find them. So maybe I’m on to something in trying to practice being comfortable being uncomfortable.
Dryden says, that the more you practice putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more your brain habituates to them. Or in my words, being comfortable being uncomfortable leads to more comfort 🙂
Just for fun, I took a quick survey of my husband,my children, my friend, and her kids around the question, “Why do you think it’s important to step out of you your comfort zone?”. Here are their responses:
- It stretches you to grow
- It challenges you and helps you see just how strong you really are
- It gives you courage when you face a fear
- It gets you to try new things and learn new thing
- It builds your confidence
Now it’s your turn…Why do you think it’s important to step outside your comfort zone?
Are you ready to walk your talk? Wholistic Woman Retreat’s next event is titled “Be Courageous” and it’s about stepping outside your comfort zone. Consider joining us on July 15th for a positive, enriching and encouraging evening with other Wholistic Women. Click here for details
And for a little taste of what you can expect from the zip line portion of the evening, check out this video:
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https://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4EcDqbphb8&feature=em-share_video_user
Hope you see you there!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | May 29, 2014 | Fear, Laura Hall, Retreats
Are you in control of your thoughts or do your thoughts control you?
I have long believed that we, as human beings, aren’t in control of much, but one thing we can most certainly control is our thoughts. A quick google search on books on this included titles such as “Change your Thoughts, Change Your Life” by Wayne Dyer, “Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow” by Karen Casey, “The Weight Loss Mindset: 10 Thoughts that are Keeping You Fat” by Sarah Patterson, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” by Daniel G. Amen, and the list could go on and on.
For me, the real question is not IF we can control our thoughts, but rather, HOW? How do we change our thoughts? Especially those really pesky thoughts that are holding us back in some way and keeping us from being all we are meant to be and do all the things we are meant to do. It’s one thing to subscribe to the belief that we are in control of our thoughts; it’s something all together different to put it into action. A couple years ago I went to see Eckhart Tolle speak and he was asked a question about how to let go of negative thought patterns. His answer was….you simply drop it, just like you’d drop a hot potato. After you drop it, if you find yourself holding it again you just drop it again. At the time, I didn’t find that answer very helpful. I wanted a more detailed answer with specific steps. What I know now is simple is better. I’ve been practicing dropping unwanted thoughts like hot potatoes, and guess what….It works!
Here’s a little story about how I recently dealt with one of those pesky little….OK, pesky big unwanted thoughts. If I was giving it a title, it would be “Dental Phobia: True Confessions from the Wife of a Dentist”.
As a child, I can’t remember one single dentist appointment where I didn’t have a least one cavity. I would brush my teeth regularly. I would use the little red tablets that would show you where you weren’t brushing effectively enough and focus on those areas. I would rinse with nasty tasting Listerine – the one in the brown bottle that would come wrapped in paper. It was horrible! I was determined that my next visit would be cavity free, but to no avail. What made it worse is that my brother had no where near the oral hygiene that I did, but he would show up cavity free. As a result I grew to dread going to the dentist. Everything about it made me anxious. The smell of the office – that mixture of cleaning products and burning teeth, the cheezy Muzak that did nothing to soothe my young soul, the sticky vinyl of the chairs of torture all contributed to my absolute terror.
Fast forward to my college years. It was during this time that I met my husband. He was a biology major. You can do a million things with a biology major. Of course he picked the one career path that had I known that was where his biology degree was going to take him, I would have gone running in the complete opposite direction. You guessed it…He became a dentist. I now had a problem! I was in love with Bill Hall, but he was becoming the thing I feared the most. How did I handle it you ask, I pushed the scary thoughts about dentists under the rug and tried to remind myself that he loved me and wasn’t going to hurt me. I know in those early days, I was a nightmare of a patient to him. My fear caused me to over manage him when I was in the dental chair…”don’t do that”, “let me sit up for a minute”, “I hate that flavor of flouride”…blah,blah,blah! I was a chronic complainer at the dentist office. I was the person Lisa talked about in her blog last week. (Click here if you missed it) I didn’t like who I was in that environment. It was clear to me that my thoughts and fears were bringing out a side of me that I didn’t like. Then I remembered that I believe I am in control of my thoughts and decided to do something about them.
At my last visit, Bill told me that a lot of my fillings were getting old and were in need of being replaced. I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to practice dropping the hot potato of negative thoughts about dental treatment. What I found was that it was easier to drop the negative thoughts when I could replace them with a different thought. “This is going to hurt” became “I’ve had 2 natural childbirths…I can handle this” or “It’s just a sensation”. What I found was that there wasn’t any pain. My brain was telling me that dental procedures are painful but the truth is, it wasn’t.
It was also interesting to observe how my body responded to my thoughts. About every 30 seconds, I noticed that my fists were clenching and my shoulders were tense. As soon as I noticed that, I would just remind myself to “relax”. I would try to slow down my breathing and let my body melt into the comfortable chair (NOT the chair of torture!).
This experience took a lot of focus on my part. My old thought patterns came automatically; the new ones took a lot of energy. By the end of the visit, I was exhausted, but I felt good about practicing being in control of my thoughts. I trust that just like building a muscle, the more I practice this, the easier it’s going to get.
So in answering the question of how do we change our thoughts? Here is what I observed in hindsight:
1. Awareness – notice the thoughts that are holding you back
2. Decide; make a conscious choice to change them
3. Replace old thought with new thoughts
4. Pay attention to your body; sometimes it speaks first
5. Repeat this process – moment by moment if necessary
The moral of the story for me is that what you think matters. Look at the areas of your life that you’d like to see changes in and work on changing your thoughts.
Over here at Wholistic Woman Retreats we are getting ready for our annual zip line retreat event. As I’ve been talking to women about joining us, I’ve run into a few people who say, “Oh, I could never do that!”. If that is you, I’d like to challenge you to consider giving it a try. It is really very easy, just ask Carol deLaski’s 80 something year old mother who has joined us on several occasions. Stop telling yourself your can’t and start telling yourself you can. What you think matters! You can find details on how to register by clicking here.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Mar 26, 2014 | Confidence, Retreats, Sandie Lynch
Find Strength in Connections
To Self, A Higher Being, and Others in Love and Faith
Love was definitely in the air at our recent “Be Strong” Wholistic Woman Retreat with Mountain Memories at ThorpeWood in Thurmont, Maryland.
Fifty-two women convened in a beautiful mountain lodge for the soft launch of Coach Carol deLaski’s first book, Lost and Found. The day’s events centered on discussions on how to find inner strength through love and faith.
Coach Carol started the day by giving everyone a complimentary copy of her book and explained that her book was not just about her journey to inner strength, but was written to encourage every reader to discover his/her own inner strength through self exploration of love and faith with the help of the coaching questions found at the end of each chapter.
The morning breakout on Discovering Love was facilitated by Coach Carol and Coach Sandie Lynch. The discussions explored how false beliefs can get in the way of finding true love and keep us small in the world. So many of us believe it is selfish or wrong to focus on ourselves for self-care, but the truth is that only through self-care can we become strong enough to care and love those around us fully and completely without resentment. Activities demonstrated how to listen to the inner voices from the heart, mind, body, and spirit which call us to take better care of ourselves, and how to shift negative energy to positive by changing our thoughts, words, body position, and movement. It was explained how the body is designed to give us inner strength when it is properly nourished with self-care, including simple activities like laughter and embracing someone, which releases oxytocin, the “love” hormone, that makes us more resilient to stress. The breakout ended with everyone sharing the love they found through the power of moving to music and releasing the “love hormone” as they reached out and embraced their neighbor.
Lunch expanded on the concept of the importance of self-care with a delicious healthy lunch catered by Canapes and a hilarious skit presented by Coach Kelye Rouse-Brown, affiliate Coach Pat Herber, Wholistic members Linda Brennan and Kim Klemencic in which they became fictitious honorary wholistic women, “Missy” and “Flow.” Coach Sandie facilitated the skit as she and the rest of the retreat participants encouraged Missy and Flow to try various self-care ideas (watch on the Wholistic Woman Retreats Youtube channel)
The afternoon breakout facilitated by Coach Carol and Coach Laura Hall started with a “Faith Walk” as participants were trusting a partner to guide them through an obstacle course. This continued the journey of finding inner strength by questioning faith in a higher power and how it guides us through life. What some call coincidence, is really divine intervention guiding us to where we are destined to be and learn what we need to learn. Each participant was encouraged to question what they believe in and where they find faith, finding their truth for themselves.
The closing message was delivered by Kath Schnorr as she shared the source of her inner strength through devastating life challenges of delivering, raising, and loving a child with Down Syndrome and losing everything she owned in the Colorado fires last year but realizing everything she needed she still had. She now is recognized as a pillar of strength by her community as she leads other women to find their strength through group support called “Women with Roots.” Recognizing we all have roots, the key is where we are planted.
The retreat finished with a joyous social with more great food by Canapes, wine, and lots of hugs, as women finally departed taking with them a greater understanding of how to find inner strength though love and faith thanks to Coach Carol’s inspiring book and the contributions of the other Wholistic coaches.
In summary, it was a fabulous day and the glow continues as I reflect on the day’s events and connections. The day taught us our inner strength grows and glows as we discover and connect with “roots” to our source of love and faith; and experience this love, peace and joy as it flows to self, our higher power, and finally to others in our lives.
Look inside and discover where the inner voice is calling you and experience the love, joy and peace available as you grow your inner strength.
Get connected with the Wholistic Woman Retreats community and coaches and discover what is waiting for you.
Upcoming events are ATP Fitness where Coach Sandie teaches how to shift energy for motivation and results starting March 31st, Breakfast Workshops with Coach Carol, and many other events to help you discover your best self.
Today’s author: Coach Sandie Lynch, MS, RDN, LDN. Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Well-being Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC where she teaches 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in life at any age.
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