by Carol deLaski | Oct 2, 2013 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development, Professional Development
As I reflect on the wonderful Heart Centered Leadership retreat hosted by the Wholistic Coaching Coalition last week, I am filled with gratitude. Each time this community comes together there is a buzz of genuine connection that creates an uplifting energy which sustains me long after we part ways. There are hugs, laughter, and sincere interactions of interest and concern. This occurs whether women are meeting for the first time or reconnecting.
What creates the fertile soil for this garden of women-on-the-grow; women who are embracing self-development to improve their professional and personal lives? I believe this environment is grounded in four fundamental coaching principles that seed and nurture the Wholistic Woman Community.
The Community practices non-judgment. In so many areas of our lives women are encouraged to compare themselves to others, whether that “other” is someone in the media, someone in the office, or someone in our families. In this community, however, no one is being compared to anyone else. Acceptance occurs for who you are and where you are in your life, and acknowledgement for being open to lifelong learning.
We also practice respect. We see and appreciate every woman’s unique strengths, and we encourage one another to use these strengths in an ever-more intentional manner. Moreover, we respect the process of growth, and trust that each of us will take away what is most important for ourselves from the new information being offered. We don’t ‘should’ on one another, telling each other what to do or dictating our opinions. We stay focused on our own growth while allowing others to discover their own insights.
Another crucial practice is listening deeply to what is being said as well as to what is left unsaid. Intuitive listening is a skill that the coaches of this community have invested significant energy to master. The more time women spend in this community, the more they develop the skill themselves. In this busy world it is becoming more and more unusual to have occasions of deep connection with ourselves and with others. We are bombarded with an almost continuous stream of information and opportunities to connect via various technologies. The Wholistic Woman events allow for in-person connections where we are able to make eye contact, focus on what is being said, and let go of distractions to allow for more fulfilling interactions. The result is that we feel uplifted rather than depleted.
Each of these coaching practices of non-judgment, respect, and deep listening contribute to create an overall positive environment for self-discovery. Consciously using these practices we develop trust that leads to the final, important, practice: finding and using our voices. This safe space for sharing allows women to get out of our own heads and risk telling others what our challenges are, and what insights are being learned as we approach our own growing edge. This edge is the place where we are mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally stretching, experimenting, and discovering new truths or ways of being. The coaches model continual growth and encourage like-minded women to do the same.
After co-hosting five retreats and other assorted events, I can easily say that these are the qualities that make the Wholistic Woman Community uniquely special. I encourage you to find a way to stay connected to this community so that you will reap the benefits throughout the year. Choose a coach to work with, attend a workshop, or become a member and be involved in this dynamic, stretching, garden of blossoming women.
You will also find these coaching qualities practiced monthly at the Breakthrough Workshops. This month’s topic is “Find Out What’s Holding You Back” and will be offered at two times: an evening workshop for men and women on Tuesday, October 15th from 5:30-7:00 PM, and a morning workshop for women on Wednesday, October 16th from 8:00-9:30 AM. I invite you to join me to learn four effective strategies to break free and begin moving forward to reach your goals. Click here for details or to register.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a certified leadership coach, author, and speaker. You may contact her at [email protected] or 301-371-7460.
Save
by Carol deLaski | Sep 11, 2013 | Fitness, Health, Nutrition, Personal Development, Sandie Lynch
I’m sure we all can think of a time when we were in the middle of a dispute and felt some resistance in finding settlement. There is a saying that always comes to mind that causes me to pause before proceeding when agreement seems like a struggle, “people don’t care what you say until they know how much you care.” This saying has helped shape my thoughts and words on many occasions to help resolve matters. This makes since when we consider most individuals are motivated by emotion and not by compliance. Understanding how the decision is beneficial is helpful, but the key to change is “emotionally” wanting it!
Sometimes these disputes can be within when considering life changing decisions such as career, getting married, divorced, or even when embracing healthy habits such as following a nutritious diet and exercise plan to have a healthier life. We all know the research shows that a nutritiously poor diet and a lack of activity can rob years from our life and keep us from experiencing our best due to low energy and increased risk of illness and disease…especially heart disease. Heart disease is the leading cause of death among women starting in our 40’s. So why do we continue these behaviors if we know they lead to negative outcomes? Although, we may want the result of making healthy changes we are emotionally tied to the very behaviors we feel we should stop. As we attempt to make healthy changes, many questions run through the mind. “How will this impact my life and relationships? Will I like the change? What will I miss out on? What will I gain in return?” Friends and family may also be involved with suggestions and recommendations, maybe with words of encouragement, and/or even strong direction of what they believe is in our best interest. There are many things to consider and sometimes deciding what voice to follow, especially when emotionally tied, can be a challenge, almost like a war within.
Consider this, when we unknowingly engage in activities that are not in alignment with what is best for us, deep within we may feel a sense of unsettledness or emptiness and unconsciously try to fill this hole with unhealthy things, such as relationships, behaviors and food. As with every decision the only one truly living with the outcome is the one making it. Yes, sometimes decisions impact others, and this is the very reason why being in alignment with one’s true authentic self will manifest the best result for all. This alignment creates a sense of peace, loyalty, and commitment to the behaviors and activities that follow to support the decision. Without this alignment, a lack of commitment exists and inconsistency is usually the result. Many times this causes “self-blame” to rear its ugly head and make us believe we have no will power or are lacking in some way to make the change happen. This lie can eat away at our confidence and resolve.
So how do you find this peace and alignment in a decision when it feels like a tug of war within? Listen and follow your heart! The heart is much more than a muscle that pumps our blood throughout our body. Within the book, Heart-Centered Leadership by Susan Steinbrecher and Joel B. Bennett, Ph.D. they describe the heart as the communication center of the body and the home of our soul and/or authentic self. The heart is where spiritual communication and true alignment happens. It makes sense when we consider all emotions are felt within the heart especially love. The heart was made for love and it seems that love drives all other emotions; for example, in the absence of love we feel anxious, lonely, broken, rejected, and maybe even lost, but in the presence of love we feel excitement, happiness, joy, and peace. Authentic self-care for the heart and body stems from the heart for it desires what is best for us and seeks this above all else in love. As we realize how much it cares to lead us to our best, we may feel drawn to reciprocate this love and WANT to listen to its guidance being emotionally tied to STOP the war within.
So, take time to listen to the quiet voice within your heart, follow its guidance, and realize the amazing benefits in all areas of life as you discover true alignment and peace as you Care for the Heart!
Join us on September 27th, 2013 for the Wholistic Woman Retreat as we invite you to explore your heart and listen to the voice within to lead you to your best life! Click here for more information and to register.
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, Personal Development Coach and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sandie provides private coaching and group fitness classes sharing 5 Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
Save
by Carol deLaski | Sep 4, 2013 | Business, Carol deLaski, Courage, Personal Development, Professional Development
“What’s your word?” I asked the thoughtful-looking woman standing before me. She gazed off into the distance and said quietly, “Acceptance. It’s the lens through which I’m challenging myself with some hard questions. For example, I’ve been dieting for months and have been experiencing success. So now I need to ask myself, ‘When will I stop? When will I accept that I’ve lost enough weight?’ My word is also challenging me to accept my 17- year-old daughter for who she’s becoming, even in little ways, such as accepting what clothes she chooses to wear to school each day.”
Words carry energy. There’s no denying it. I’ve always been fascinated by this fact. Words can motivate and inspire us to greatness, or in one fell swoop they can deflate and discourage us.
Have you noticed what words carry great energy for you?
This year I’ve been using a theme word as a lens through which I view my professional and personal life. My word is Believe. It came to me after following a process outlined in the book, One Word to Change Your Life by Britton, Page, and Gordon. I have now taught and coached this process to many others as well, and I am inspired by the stories I have heard as a result of this work.
The process is about receiving a word that is meant to guide you for an entire year. Instead of going through a mental exercise of picking a good word, the process is about creating a quiet space, both physically and mentally, to open your heart and receive a great word. The process can move swiftly or it can take time. One of my clients waited two full months before her word became clear to her. She patiently tested various words during that time, but none of them felt quite right until one day, two months into the process, a particular word resonated with her heart and she knew she had found it. Discerning the word that is meant for you takes patience, observation, and self-awareness. It means bypassing your thoughts and paying attention to what your heart is guiding you towards.
Examples of words that I’ve seen people embrace this year are: Open, Ask, Courage, Surrender, Positivity, Patience, Discipline, Observe, Plans, Light, Breathe, and Change.
What a variety! The good news is that there is no right or wrong word.
Some people embrace, their word immediately, while others resist it. Certain words have even initially evoked fear. One woman in particular received the word Courage. Her first response was that she didn’t want the word because she didn’t want anything to occur to her that would require courage. She wisely chose to test, or live, with the word for a day to see what she could learn about it. During this trial period she asked her husband if he ever thought she was courageous, and he surprised her with several powerful examples that provided her with a new perspective on herself. She also read the definition of courage in the dictionary and learned that the word originates from coer, which means heart. Lastly, she noticed that a favorite word, and activity of hers, providing encouragement to others, contained courage within it. Armed with this information, she was able to accept what her heart already knew; this was to be her word for the year.
I am now expanding my appreciation of the energy that words hold as I prepare for the Wholistic Woman Heart Centered Leadership Retreat. As I learn about the Seven Principles of Heart Centered Leadership I am drawn to this particular principle: Know the Impact of your Words and Actions. It encourages heart-centered people to speak and act with integrity, and to wisely choose the words we use at work and at home. Leading lives that are guided by our hearts, instead of entirely by our heads, isn’t always easy. To do so we need to learn how to listen, and follow, the inner nudges which move us forward towards our higher purpose. I look forward to learning more about the seven principles of heart-centered leadership at the retreat and applying them to my personal and professional life. I hope you will join me there!
For details about the one day retreat on Friday September 27th, visit: www.wholisticwomanretreats.com
Carol deLaski is a Certified Leadership coach, speaker, and author. She works with individuals and businesses to focus and develop effective leadership skills for greater success. To contact her, email [email protected]
Save
by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2013 | Business, Laura Hall, Personal Development, Professional Development
OK, I have a confession to make…I am a self-help/personal growth and development book junkie. I love books that help me understand how human relationships work, why people do the things they do, and how we can improve ourselves. I gained some insight into this tendency a couple months ago when I took the StrengthsFinder assessment and “learner” showed up in my top 5 strengths. When it come to fiction vs non-fiction, non-fiction wins my vote 9 times out of 10. I watch TV for pleasure and entertainment. I read to learn! (This drives some of the people in my book club crazy, but that’s OK.)
I believe that self awareness is the key to happiness. I strive, everyday, to learn something new about myself. I know that I am a work in progress. I don’t ever want to be “done”. I believe that there is no upper limit on happiness or self awareness. I am compelled to keep pushing the evolving edge of these, and I have chosen to surround myself with people who share this passion for wanting more of both. Chances are, if you are taking the time to read this, that you too want to know yourself better.
As one of the life coaches of Wholistic Woman Retreats, I’ve been busy preparing for our upcoming fall event titled, “Heart Centered Leadership, An Invitation to Lead from the Inside Out” which is a half day retreat being held on September 27th, 2013 in Buckeystown, Maryland. The retreat is based on the 7 principles of Heart-Centered Leadership as described in the book with the same title. And, as I’ve now confessed to one of my addictions, you’ve probably made the assumption that I am reading the book as part of my preparation, and guess what, you are right!
The opening lines of this book read, “At this very moment – while writing this book – we know we are a work in progress. As much as we will share our personal and professional experiences, we don’t have all the answers. We are learning every day about the power of leadership, the power of people, and the power of connecting with people.” OK, I’m hooked! But wait, it gets better…! Guess what principle #1 is titled! Know Thyself!
Several years ago I wouldn’t have given a book like this a second glance. Why you ask? The simple answer is because I didn’t see myself as a leader. I had a very narrow definition of that word. I thought leaders were only found in business. I thought that to be a leader you needed to be the head of your company, or leading a management team or something like that. But because I was doing my own work, and learning new things about myself on a regular basis, I came to realize that we are all leaders. The question is not, are you a leader, but rather, where and how do you lead?
Are you a CEO of a company? Are you a parent? Are you the owner of a business? Are you a volunteer in an organization? Are you an employee in a company? Are you a student? Are you someone’s friend? Are you alive? OK, you get it right, the list could go on and on. But here’s the deal, if you answered yes to any of these questions, (if you answered “no” to the last question, then we have a problem) then guess what, you are a leader! And, like I said earlier, if you are taking the time to read this blog then I know that, like me, you too believe that you are a work in progress and there is always more to know about yourself.
With that said, I’d like to invite you to join me and 39 other women for a day of self inquiry and growth at the Wholistic Woman’s fall retreat. Aren’t you curious about what the 6 other principles are?
If you’ve been to one of our retreats in the past, you know that it will be a day for rejuvenation, fun, connection and learning. You will make new friends and reconnect with others. If you haven’t been before, well then you are in for a real treat! You can sign up today by clicking here. Don’t delay as space is limited. Hope to see you there! For more information, visit us at www.wholisticwomanretreats.com.
Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Aug 14, 2013 | Personal Development, Sandie Lynch, Success
What does heart-centered leadership mean? I discovered 5 insights while on a recent outing on the river with friends.
A group of my closest friends ventured on a tubing trip on the Shenandoah River as a Birthday celebration for our friend Linda. It was a picturesque day with low humidity, big fluffy clouds and a cool breeze. It was a perfect day to take a leisurely ride down the slow, calm river. The company advertisement stated this was a great event for 18 to 30 year olds looking for a relaxing ride. Our group consisted of eight women between the ages of the mid 40’s to late 50’s. It felt great to do something so youthful! It didn’t faze us a bit when all the individuals doing the event along with us were a good 20 to 30 years younger, because each of us believes fun, challenging activity and self-care are essential for growing agelessly older.
We were energized for our fun day celebrating our friend! We rented our “luxury” tubes; equipped with a bottom, back rest, and essential drink holder, closely watched our safety video, and rode the crowded bus to our drop off point for entering the river. It was a day to let go of any professional expectations, and just go with the flow of the river and life.
When first entering the water, we got separated as the river briskly took us down-stream, but with paddling aggressively and the birthday girl jumping in the shallow water to pull us all together, we reconnected and formed a “tube circle” and our party began as we floated down river together. The fun began with a burping contest, and then synchronized “tube” dancing! It was liberating to be in this group of accepting women. I found it so easy to let my guard down and be completely silly and open to what life and the river had to offer. We relaxed, laughed, told stories, and enjoyed the beautiful scenery as we purposefully guided our “tube-circle” around the obstacles on the river.
At one point, we floated by a huge group of younger individuals and encouraged them to join us in a rendition of “Happy Birthday” to our friend Linda. We had the whole river singing with us! Along the way we encountered Lor-I. (We called her that since we already had a Lori in our group and wanted everyone to have a unique identity.) She had gotten separated from her friends and was isolated on the river. We invited her to join us for a while and join in the fun. After enjoying some great conversation and a cool beverage she decided to make the “effort” to catch up with her friends and we all said our “good-byes.”
A little further down river we slowly moved past another individual who appeared lifeless in his tube. Our Lori, noticed she had dropped something in the water and got out of her tube to walk back to retrieve it, she decided to investigate the lifeless individual and nudged him to make sure he was ok. He was only sleeping but realized he also had been separated from his group. So again we invited this isolated individual named Chris to join our group. Chris, appeared to be an unlikely pairing for our group, since he was only 28 and was covered in tattoos. Some of us felt apprehensive not knowing what to expect. Soon, we discovered he was a soft hearted soul venturing on a new path in life. He confessed with tear filled eyes that he was a veteran and found himself lost in life; drinking and drugging way too much. He decided to turn his life around and follow his heart; starting a landscaping business and a “Not for profit” company for disabled veterans who needed simple toiletries and groceries when being released from the hospital. The whole group felt touched and inspired by this man’s story and courage to make his dream come true.
Our group came to our exit point in the river and said “so long” to Chris, our new found friend and inspiration. We ended our trip on the river with great laughs as our birthday girl, Linda received hugs from a 26 year old hunk, name Hollywood. The celebration continued with dinner, gifts, and lots of laughs from our trip on the river.
Reflecting back on this amazing day, I can’t help but to think how this short 2 hour trip on the river is a perfect “snap shot” of what life could be like if we allowed ourselves to live everyday being led by our heart.
A few principles to consider;
- Move for Fun. By choosing to engage in fun and enjoyable activities it increases our energy and our body’s ability to stay strong and more resilient to stress which may lead to a high quality, long and ageless life doing the things we love.
- Stay Connected. Our group had a great time because each person made the effort to stay connected floating down the river in our “tube circle.” When we choose to stay connected to loving, supportive individuals in life it makes for a much more enjoyable journey.
- Live Authentically without Judgment. We attract what we live! It is a true blessing to have friends who are “real” and offer no judgment. This created an environment for everyone we encountered to feel safe and permission to be genuine. Authenticity is a chicken or the egg scenario; by being authentic we attract individuals who truly accept us for who we really are, and it gives them the freedom to be just as “real.” This creates an environment to live without fear of rejection and a greater confidence to live boldly for what matters most.
- Be Open. The strangers we met and included in our “circle” became new friends. When we remain open to truly know more about the people we meet along our journey we may discover opportunities that may have been missed such a finding a new friend, offering encouragement to someone who has lost their way, and may even find ourselves the one who is inspired. The individuals we meet may be in our life for a moment, a season, or a lifetime, but trust that each encounter, no matter how long, has a greater purpose.
- Lead From Your Heart! Our intention for the day was to celebrate our friend, to have fun; and to share love. By starting the day with this intention, it seemed that each encounter seemed effortless and rewarding; not only did we share love but our “circle” of love expanded as we received much more love as well.
It was truly one of the most memorable, fulfilling days in my life. It was a day of true joy and gratitude that keeps on giving every time I think about the events of that day. It makes me wonder, what life would be like, if I pursued each day letting my heart lead on the river of life.
Do you have a similar experience? We would love for you to share it with our community along with any thoughts you may have on how you will make leading from your heart a daily a habit.
Please join Wholistic Woman Retreats for our Fall Retreat where you learn more principles on how to “Lead From The Heart!” Click Here for more information
Today’s author: Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, Personal Development Coach and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sandie provides private coaching and group fitness classes sharing 5 Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
Save
by Carol deLaski | Aug 5, 2013 | Carol deLaski, Confidence, Courage, Fear, Personal Development, Success
I carefully placed one foot after another on the rungs of a twelve foot ladder while seemingly climbing high into the air. I could sense the ropes-course instructor close behind me as I listened for his directions. I stopped on the sixth rung and twisted my body to the left to allow him to clip a four inch carabineer to the harness strapped around my waist. Hearing the click of the carabineer as it snapped firmly into place, I then grasped with both hands the green plastic sheath that protectively surrounded the heavy gauge steel cable rising from my waist. The instructor double checked my harness, tugging and cinching it tighter, before backing down the ladder. “Are you ready?” he asked, and my reply was yes!
He then took the ladder away leaving me suspended in mid-air by a giant Y- cable that was firmly attached to the trees high above me. It was a strange feeling to just be hanging there, momentarily still, anticipating the rush that was about to come.
The other women on my team that were on the ground started pulling a rope attached to the Y-cable; slowly raising my body even higher into the air. With my face now tilting upwards, I glimpsed the bright blue sky visible beyond the deep forest colors around me. The rope tugging came to a stop as my teammates finished hoisting me into position for this anticipated free-fall drop and swing.
I heard their calls of “You can do this!” and “Go, Carol!” offering me encouragement as the instructor’s voice drifted up, telling me to pull the cord that would release me from this strangely inert position I now found myself in.
I had watched others on my team accomplish this before it was my turn. I knew what was coming and yet I had no idea how this would feel or how I would react. I had witnessed a variety of initial responses as the free fall began, and these ranged from cursing to crying, so I wondered what response the fall would elicit from me. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as I reached for the short release cable and gave it a tug.
The drop was instantaneous and a loud scream rose out of my lungs and burst into the air as my body fell straight down. The strong cables attached to my harness seamlessly caught me and lifted me forward as the swing took me across an expanse of underbrush to the other side of the gully I was suspended over. I felt adrenaline course through me as the warm wind rushed against my face, hands, and legs. My initial breathtaking scream turned to whoops of joy as I swung back and forth while thoroughly enjoying the security of the cables holding me. I pumped my legs like a school-girl on a swing-set to keep the joyous momentum going. I smiled both inside and out at the pure thrill of the ride as I heard my team shout enthusiastic congratulations of “You did it!” to me.
When my ride came to an end, the instructor placed the ladder beneath me and unclipped me from the cables. I descended to the ground with a deep sense of accomplishment which comes from discovering an inner resolve to overcome fear.
Reflecting on this experience I can easily apply it to other areas of my life.
Where else do I step out in faith and trust, assured that the cables of my life are going to hold me?
Where else do I rely on my team to help me achieve success?
I often speak of a growing edge with my coaching clients. The nature of the edge is different for each of us and unique to our circumstances. It’s where we choose to focus our efforts to create the change we want in our lives. Some of us step outside the edge of our comfort zone when we speak in public, attend an event alone, or begin a new relationship or job. When we face anything that scares us and move from the familiar to the unfamiliar, we stretch ourselves, learn and grow.
I have been using a theme word this year to focus and guide my own growth. This singular word provides a filter through which I gain perspective on my life challenges. My word is believe. I am finding that there are many things that I believe in.
I believed those steel cables would hold me, or I would have never attached myself to them. I believed the instructor and my team would provide the support, both physically and verbally, that I would need to get through the free-fall swing experience. I believed I would enjoy it once I got past my fears. Ultimately, I believed the calculated risk of the experience was well worth the lessons I would learn from stretching out of my comfort zone in this way.
The same is true for many other areas of my life. As I take well thought-out risks to grow, I surround myself with a team that can provide the support I need. And like the cables that were anchored somewhere high above me, I believe that I am linked to a Source of great strength that will catch me when I fall. Whether that fall is a thrill or a terror; I know that I can trust the invisible forces within the universe; the force that I call God, to hold me as I swing through life.
So, what is your growing edge? Where in your life are you stepping out and trying something new? Wherever it is, I encourage you to trust the team that has been positioned around you at this point in time. Believe that you are being held and supported through the free-fall swing of your life.
Two short videos of Coach Carol’s swing and team support afterwards.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a certified leadership coach and speaker. She will be leading two workshops on the One Word concept in August and you are warmly invited to attend. The workshop is a mid-year check-in for those who have a theme word, as well as an opportunity for new people to learn how to receive their word. For more information click here.
Save
Page 10 of 11« First«...7891011»
