by Carol deLaski | Sep 8, 2014 | Kelye Rouse-Brown, Retreats
As I sit and twirl in my new hammock tree swing I feel my mom’s arms wrapped around me. I just got this beautiful visual from my new writer friend who helped me feel the hug this morning. My summer has been one that is filled with anxiety and worry and stillness and calm. That’s because I have been working on my Tree of Life garden to honor my mom and feel her presence. I was reminded I don’t have to rush through the process to create this space and can take my time, hence the anxiety and now stillness and calm. It’s been over a year that I have started this planning, first with an ornament on the tree to set the focus and stone steps leading to the strong tree. Then colorful river rocks filling the space under the tree, a bench from my mom’s garden, a birdbath and now a cuddly swing to drink coffee in the morning in. The space is serene and I feel her presence. Friends and family have dropped off plants from their gardens or helped me in the garden and this has helped me with the process, one that I don’t think will ever end. This is a process that is creating less and less anxiety for me and now more still and calm. I have always enjoyed these meditative spaces to calm my soul and am feeling so joyful one is in my back yard now.
If you are searching for space to provide calmness and serenity consider joining our Be Calm event on October 4th (Click here for details) that will include a labyrinth, an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space. This visual alone makes me think of my tree hugging swing above my circular stones below me in my space leading the way. Stay or move along and be wrapped in hugs today.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website www.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 28, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
Do you ever have trouble quieting your mind? Is life so full of activities and obligations that you find it hard to settle down and be calm? At times, I can feel overly busy and in need of some peace and quiet. Can you relate?
When I feel stressed, I know that I need to unplug and focus my attention within. This can take place as a quick meditative moment when I pause and appreciate the beauty of nature, or listen to a song that touches my heart, or just simply close my eyes and breathe mindfully. At other times I need more than just a moment and I turn to different ways to settle my body, heart, mind and spirit.
One way that I focus my attention within is to hold a special heart-shaped stone that has a spiral etched onto its surface. It fits perfectly into the palm of my hand and the weight of its solidness is somehow comforting as I hold it. When I gaze at the spiral in this stone I am reminded of a labyrinth.
The path of a labyrinth is also in the shape of a spiral. When I walk a labyrinth, I feel as if I am traveling inward to my core. Whether I walk meditatively, joyously, or thoughtfully, when I reach the center, I linger to savor the experience before mindfully walking outward…back into the world.
Labyrinth walking is an ancient practice used by many different faiths for spiritual centering, prayer, or contemplation. As I walk the labyrinth inward, I connect with my intuition, to that inner wisdom that is uniquely my own. Then as I walk the spiral outward I prepare to take that insight into my life. For me, a labyrinth symbolizes the balancing act between being and doing. As I center myself I am focused and present. Then, when I return to my daily activities I am stronger and better able to handle the challenges before me.
How do you walk a labyrinth?
Before I begin my walk, I consider how I want to approach the experience. I may want to connect with feelings of joy or gratitude as I move forward. Or perhaps I have a problem that is weighing heavy on my mind or heart. If so, I may set the intention to receive guidance about that problem as I enter the labyrinth. I state the problem, take a few mindful breaths, and then walk the spiraled path inward towards its center. Clearing my mind of all thoughts and releasing the need to solve the problem, I practice being receptive and open to answers that arise through my heart and spirit. I allow imagery, creativity, and intuition, to lead me and I let go of thinking.
Labyrinths are sometimes confused with mazes. A maze has twists and turns, and dead ends. It is a puzzle to be solved and requires thinking and logic. By contrast, a labyrinth offers only one way in, and one way out, so you don’t have to think about anything as you walk. This makes it easier to let go of thoughts and to settle into your heart and spirit.
It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience a labyrinth. The only choices to make are whether or not to enter it and how you would like to approach it. What attitude will accompany you on the walk? Will it be meditative, joyous, grateful, seeking, or perhaps prayerful? You may want to listen to music, recite a centering prayer or mantra, or focus on your breath as it goes in and out. The choice is yours. As you pay attention to your experience of this inward journey to your heart, be aware and open to the guidance that this centering exercise offers you. Be sure to let it settle into your being when you pause at the center of the labyrinth’s spiral and then bring this feeling with you as you walk the path outwards, back into life.
I believe that calmness and balance are within our reach when we practice being present with ourselves, and being receptive to the guidance that the Universe and God has to offer us. By letting go of busyness, and opening our hearts to receive inner wisdom, we can return to the activities of daily life clearer about our purpose and who we are.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to [email protected]
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2014 | Health, Laura Hall
Tomorrow, Friday, August 22nd, 2014 is the first day of Farm-to-Fork Frederick. This is an 11 day event where restaurants in Frederick County Maryland and local farmers enter into a supportive partnership to create a special menu where at least 70% of the ingredients are grown and raised from farms in Frederick County. This event is special to Wholistic Woman Retreats because one of our members, Miriam Nasuti, is the founder of Farm-to-Fork Frederick and we are proud to be a sponsor of this event.
Really, this event is about forging healthy relationships between food suppliers, local food establishments and the community. It’s about creating a win-win in both the personal and professional relationships of all involved. It’s about making connections and opening up opportunities for growth. Miriam is walking the talk of what it means to be a Wholistic Woman. In my opinion, she is nurturing wholistic relationships. Hmm…I think I just made up a new term…Wholistic Relationships!
On our Wholistic Woman website, we define wholistic as “intentionally growing each aspect of your unique self – body, heart, mind and spirit – in order to achieve greater confidence in expressing yourself authentically, both personally and professionally”. Using this as a guide, I’d like to suggest that the definition of a wholistic relationship would be a relationship in which both parties willfully and intentionally connect for the purpose of growth as well as to practice authentic expression of their unique self.
What are the components of a healthy, wholistic relationship?
Here is the list I’ve come up with: (so far)
- They support the growth of both parties
- Both parties are willing to practice the 60/40 rule which simply states that you strive to give 60% and take 40%
- Each person feels seen, heard and knows they matter
- Communication is authentic even when its uncomfortable
- Active listening is practiced
Now I know this community is full of people who are practicing being in healthy, constructive relationships both personally and professionally and we’d like to hear from you! What do you think needs to be added to the list? Let’s keep this dialog going! Please give us your thought to the question in the comments section.
Oprah Winfrey says, “Every single person you will ever meet shares a common desire. They want to know: Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?” I use this quote on a daily basis. I strive to see, hear, and acknowledge and validate every person I come into contact with…from the cashier behind the counter to those I love dearly. I’ve also let go of relationships where I am not getting this in return. For me, relationships are a 2-way street and I know I deserve to be seen, heard and acknowledged. I am no longer willing to give less or to settle for less.
Next week, I will be supporting Farm to Fork Frederick by dining out with my wholistic friends. I encourage you to consider doing the same. Spending time with the people who are special to us is important and I can’t think of a better way than over a meal at one of the Farm to Fork restaurants. You can get more information by clicking here.
In the mean time, don’t forget to give us your input on what makes up a wholistic relationship. Thanks!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 13, 2014 | Business, Kelye Rouse-Brown
“Lean towards joy and listening, and away from giving advice.”
That was the message to kick off my weekend retreat at Kripalu in the beautiful Berkshires area. I have always been interested in learning about positivity and happiness so I joined Dr. Maria Sirois on Introduction to Positive Psychology along with my oldest dearest friend Susie that I have known for 40 years. Many of you that know me have said why you would want to learn about happiness and positivity since you are that way. For me it was simple, learn some of the statistics around the benefits of these themes in life that I am so passionate about and pass along. Yes, it was a little scientific experiment I took in a relaxing environment and came away renewed with more spirit!
Positive psychology was referred to as the scientific study of optimal human functioning and officially launched as a field in 1998. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar first taught a seminar at Harvard on this fairly newer topic in 2002 with 8 students enrolled and 2 dropped out. The objective was what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives. The following year the class went public and 380 students signed up. The evaluations showed the class improved the quality of one’s life. Well, the next time the class was offered it grew to 855 students enrolled, which made it the largest class at Harvard University.
A few years ago I did a workshop on “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” that got me thinking about how to help others lead a happier life. It’s no surprise more often we hear people focus on the negative or remember negative experiences more than positive and that’s in part how positive psychology came about. Psychologists focus on how to help human problems and course correct versus why people are happy and build on that. There have been many positive psychology teams that go into companies to create a balance and shift and help turn a “positive” profit. So in business, positivity equals profit.
As someone who has always been in human resources and the people business, I can’t help but get excited about this field. Guess what the percentage of genetics and intentional activity are in determining happiness? Yes, it’s almost 50/50. To be more exact fifty percent of our happiness comes from our genes and forty percent from our intentional activity, with the exception of 10% are life circumstances says Sonja Lyubomirsky. Happiness is not out there for us to find, it’s in us to find. I love the quote from Abraham Lincoln,
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
It’s true! We choose to change our negative state of mind to push through to find happiness.
Some of my favorite happiness boost are expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism and acts of kindness. There is a long list by Sonja Lyubomirsky that goes on to taking care of your body with steady exercise and meditation. One I am working on and will continue with our Be Whole, Be Calm event designed to relax your mind and walk a meditative labyrinth. I walked the labyrinth at the Kripalu Wellness and Yoga center and was reminded to pause and savor life’s joys and listen as advised the start of my weekend. These retreats fill my happiness bucket one day, one weekend at a time.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website http://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 7, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Courage, Fear
Harnessed by strong cables, I found myself in an unusual position high in the trees… facing upwards and glimpsing patches of blue sky. A team of eight women had pulled me into this position and awaited my decision to release the cord which would drop me into a free-fall swing through the tree tops. Butterflies swirled in my stomach and my breathing grew rapid as I allowed myself to fully experience this strange suspension in the air. Time felt suspended, too, as I savored this momentary mixture of calm and electrifying anticipation.
Encouragement from the women below wafted up to my ears and I knew I had the full support of my team. “You can do it!” and “Go for it!” let me know that they believed in me. They saw the courage and trust that it took to climb into this precarious position and knew the important role that they played in providing support as I took this well-calculated risk. I had given encouragement to them when they had been in this position and now it was my turn to receive it.
I held my breath for a moment, then with the thought Here goes, I pulled the cord. My body dropped several feet and the industrial-sized cables caught my weight and safely sent me soaring through the tree tops. A scream of excitement escaped my lips, followed by loud whoops of joy, as I swung back and forth high above the people cheering below. I felt like a school-girl as my legs pumped to keep the swinging movement going as long as possible before my turn ended.
When I came to a stop, I descended the ladder with a mile-wide grin and received hugs and pats-on-the-back as my team congratulated me. I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment that flowed from overcoming something that scared me.
You see, earlier that day I was uncertain if I would actually do the free-fall swing. It was similar to how I had felt about doing the zip line several years ago when it was first offered at a Wholistic Woman Retreat. With team support I had overcome that fear and had enjoyed the thrill of zip line rides several times since then. I had learned to love it. In a similar way, I decided to do the swing after watching other women successfully do it. I was so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and experienced it with this fun and supportive group of women.
What does it take for you to be brave and overcome your fears? Do you need the support and encouragement of others? Does it help to see other people going first so that you can observe the challenge before you step into it yourself? Do you want to know that it’s okay to express yourself in whatever way you need to… whether that means screaming, cursing, crying, or laughing? Do you need information to know that you are safe? What helps you to be courageous?
The truth is that we face our fears every day. Some of us are dealing with frightening medical diagnoses, wayward children, conditional love, issues with spouses, financial instability, loneliness, changing circumstances, crime, war, and the list goes on and on. How do we find the courage to face these challenges?
I’d like to suggest these three steps:
Identify the fear. This step is hard because it feels vulnerable to admit that we are afraid. However, it’s crucial that we name what scares us in order to begin releasing the hold it has over us.
Have a support team. Surround yourself with people who you trust and who are modeling brave behavior. They will inspire you to be more courageous and will applaud both your major and minor accomplishments.
Take small steps. Bravery grows every time you do something that scares you. For some of us that may be speaking in public, publishing a book, or trying a new physical challenge….our fears vary and are as unique as our fingerprints. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Not to frighten yourself but to grow more confident and skillful at overcoming whatever is holding you back. Develop courage and resilience by facing and navigating your fears one small step at a time.
What step will you take today to practice being brave?
An Invitation:
On the evening of July 15th, at the Be Courageous Retreat from 5:30-8:30 pm, women will have the opportunity to Zip, Swing, and Leap out of their comfort zone.
Now that I’ve mastered my fear of the zip line and swing I look forward to doing them again for fun. This year I am anticipating the opportunity to do a new challenge: The Leap of Faith – jumping from the top of a telephone pole to a trapeze bar while attached to a safety line. I’m not sure if I’m going to do it yet and trust that I will make that decision when I’m there. Whether I am cheering others on or receiving support as I take the leap, I will be fully present and engaged with the experience. Either way will be fine. One of the things I love about this community of women is the permission to be myself. I am good enough just as I am, and so are you.
If you would like to try one, two, or all three of these physical challenges with the support of an encouraging group of women who are practicing being brave, then register by July 10th to secure your spot and plan to join us for a picnic dinner afterwards to celebrate your accomplishment!
Click here if you want to see two short videos of Coach Carol’s free-fall swing and the team support afterwards.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker, author, and coach specializing in strengths-based leadership development. She is also co-founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats which offers fun, enriching, and supportive events for women-on-the-grow. Write to her at [email protected] or visit her website: www.caroldelaski.com for more information about her speaking and coaching services.
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 2, 2014 | Sandie Lynch, Self-Care
There are no guarantees that life will be serene and/or everyday will be smooth sailing therefore, the only thing we can control is our reaction to the inevitable bumps in the road. As a child, I can remember urging my mom to drive faster on certain roads so that I could feel my stomach drop as the car bounced over the bumps. I found fun in the unexpected.
As I grew older, it was harder to find the fun in the unexpected, especially when things seemed to be spinning out of my control. I would feel anxious, frustrated, and peace was nowhere in sight! Life eventually seemed to be no fun at all and finding any trace of peace was almost hopeless. My journey led me to seek life coaching which challenged me to evaluate my beliefs that created my discouragement. Gandhi said…
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
Over the past month, where I work full time, my employer has been going through significant changes! Leaders have left, bosses have changed, and many individuals find themselves stressed out and on edge as new expectations are on the horizon. As I reflect on the past few years, I am grateful for the internal transformation that now provides me with peace in the midst of all the chaos.
Below are 3 beliefs I have adopted for keeping my peace:
I am not in control and so “Let go and let God.”
The belief that there is little I have control over, has been one of the most freeing beliefs I have adopted. Many experiences have reinforced this truth. By trusting that there is a higher almighty Being, who I call God, who sees the big picture and has a ultimate plan for my highest good, gives me permission to live for today doing my best and let tomorrow’ worries up to God.
There is a life lesson in every trial.
A friend once encouraged me to see every life challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow. And, when frequently experiencing the same challenge over and over, maybe it is God trying to teach me a lesson for my greatest good. Therefore, by looking for the lesson and taking the opportunity to grow from it, the challenge no longer seems like a struggle but a riddle to solve, putting more fun in the process.
Others’ perceptions of me does not define who I am.
When tension is high, it is likely for us to react in fear, frustration, and anger, and even speak from this perspective. I have come to learn, when others dismiss my input or criticize and condemn me in a condescending manner, to step away from the encounter. Take time to compare and reflect on the other’s behavior and/or words against who I know I am and my true intentions for good. Additionally, consider my words and actions to determine if I may have contributed to the situation and “own” my part. Then make efforts to communicate clearly the truth of my intentions, apologize for any wrong I contributed, and attempt to rectify the situation. If after this, the others choose to keep a false view of me and/or my intentions, I let it go. I no longer feel the need to defend or prove them different and return to my first belief; “Let go and Let God!” We cannot change others only ourselves.
By embracing these 3 beliefs, they continue to enlighten me as my life unfolds with each new experience. My transformation continues through many facets; a personal relationship with my higher power (God), life coaching, enriching content to stretch my views, and lots of self-reflection.
I hope what I have learned encourages you to challenge your beliefs for a more peaceful life in the midst of your chaos! Get started by joining Wholistic Woman Retreats for our next retreat “Be Courageous” our annual physical challenge as we Zip, Swing, and Leap out of our comfort zone on July 15th. For more information click here.
Today’s author: Sandie Lynch, Registered Dietitian, Personal Fitness Trainer, and “Wholistic” Well-being Coach. Sandie is the owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC where she teaches how to Attain Top Performance through 5 Key Principles to live your best life.
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