by Carol deLaski | Oct 8, 2014 | Change, Laura Hall
Last Saturday I walked a labyrinth for the first time. I entered with the intention of finding clarity on how I am meant to use my new training in The Daring Way™ process in my coaching practice. I exited with 7 lessons that I believe will not only help me in my coaching practice, but also in life.
1. Find a pace that’s right for you
I started off walking very slowly and mindfully. I wanted to take my time and not rush through the experience. What I noticed was that when I went too slow, I felt off balance, so I picked up the pace. However, walking too fast didn’t feel right either. I felt like I was rushing the process, just to get through it. Eventually I settled into a pace that felt just right. When it comes to our journey through life, I think that finding that pace that is just right is important. Too slow and we can feel like we are wasting our valuable resource of time, and too fast feels hectic and overwhelming. How is your pace? Are you racing through life? Are you dragging your feet? Or have you found the pace that’s right for you?
2. It’s OK to feel lost sometimes
At some point in the labyrinth I started thinking that maybe I had taken a wrong turn because it felt like it was taking too long to get to the center. I felt lost. (Even though I knew that was impossible) There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt lost, and undoubtedly as I continue to travel through life there are going to be times in the future where I am not going to be certain about where I am or what direction I can take. The lesson I took away from the labyrinth is that this is part of the process and it’s OK. As someone who craves certainty, it’s uncomfortable for me to feel lost. I don’t like not knowing, but believing that it is part of the process normalizes it for me. It’s OK to feel lost is definitely going to be a new mantra of mine. How about you? Are you comfortable with uncertainty? How would believing it was part of the path change the way you feel about it?
3. Just keep moving
In that moment when I felt lost, I noticed that I actually physically stopped walking for a minute and tried to take in the entire labyrinth. Where was I? What way did I need to go to get to the center? Why couldn’t I figure it out? As these questions swirled around in my head I heard a small whisper from the back of my mind say, “Just keep moving”. It was easy for me to see the next stone that I needed to step on, even if I couldn’t figure out how the entire path was laid out. I love the story of Hansel and Gretel and following the breadcrumbs. Trying to figure it all out has been a stumbling block for me in my life. What I recognized in the labyrinth is that I don’t need to know all the steps of how to get from point A to point B, I just need to know the next step. I can go from breadcrumb to breadcrumb! All I have to do is to just keep moving? What works for you when you feel stuck or lost? How do you get yourself back into action?
4. It will get easier
The longer I was in the labyrinth, the easier it got. I think this is true for most things in life. Allowing ourselves to be beginners is important. I think back to when I first learned to drive a stick shift. There was a lot of jerking, and stalling. Now, I can drive a stick shift like a pro! As I grow my business and step into areas that are new to me, I am going to remind myself that the more I do something, the easier it will get and that it’s ok to jerk and stall in the beginning. Where do you need to allow yourself to be a beginner in your life? What will it take for you to believe that it will get easier?
5. Stay out of comparison
At some point in my labyrinth walk I found myself looking at everyone else and wondering if I was doing it “right”, even though we were told at the beginning that there was no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. As I go through my life, it’s important for me to be me. I want to be authentic. I want to walk my path in a way that honors my unique values, style and way of being. When I spend too much time comparing myself to others I tend to go into judgement and then I worry if I am doing it “right”. Staying our of comparison is a regular practice for me. How about you? Where does comparison get in your way?
6. Trust yourself
This was another one of the whispers I heard along the path. Practicing self-compassion is something that is on the top of my list these days. Imagine what it would be like, in that moment of decision (whatever the decision is) to say to yourself, “Trust yourself!”, “You got this!”, “Whatever comes your way, you’ll be able to handle it!”. These words, for me, are some of the most self-compassionate things I can say to myself. Yes, I am unsure about exactly how I am going to take my coaching business to the next level. Yes, it feels risky putting my self out there, but I got this! I trust myself! Where do you need to remind yourself to trust yourself?
7. Don’t be afraid to be both a leader and a follower
When it comes to life I realize that there are people who are on a similar path as me. Some are ahead of me and some are behind me. I used to believe that I was either a leader or a follower, but that I couldn’t be both at the same time. Now I believe that it is absolutely possible to be both at the same time. I can learn from those that have gone before me, while at the same time leading those that are coming up behind me. In my life I am often hesitant to call myself a “leader” because I am usually looking ahead and realizing that I am “following” those that have gone before me. How can I be a leader if I am a follower? The labyrinth taught me that I can indeed be both at the same time.
As I reflect on my takeaways from my experience last week, I am experiencing an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so grateful that I am surrounded by a community of supportive fellow life travelers. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Thank you for allowing me to be both a leader and a follower!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2014 | Health, Laura Hall
Tomorrow, Friday, August 22nd, 2014 is the first day of Farm-to-Fork Frederick. This is an 11 day event where restaurants in Frederick County Maryland and local farmers enter into a supportive partnership to create a special menu where at least 70% of the ingredients are grown and raised from farms in Frederick County. This event is special to Wholistic Woman Retreats because one of our members, Miriam Nasuti, is the founder of Farm-to-Fork Frederick and we are proud to be a sponsor of this event.
Really, this event is about forging healthy relationships between food suppliers, local food establishments and the community. It’s about creating a win-win in both the personal and professional relationships of all involved. It’s about making connections and opening up opportunities for growth. Miriam is walking the talk of what it means to be a Wholistic Woman. In my opinion, she is nurturing wholistic relationships. Hmm…I think I just made up a new term…Wholistic Relationships!
On our Wholistic Woman website, we define wholistic as “intentionally growing each aspect of your unique self – body, heart, mind and spirit – in order to achieve greater confidence in expressing yourself authentically, both personally and professionally”. Using this as a guide, I’d like to suggest that the definition of a wholistic relationship would be a relationship in which both parties willfully and intentionally connect for the purpose of growth as well as to practice authentic expression of their unique self.
What are the components of a healthy, wholistic relationship?
Here is the list I’ve come up with: (so far)
- They support the growth of both parties
- Both parties are willing to practice the 60/40 rule which simply states that you strive to give 60% and take 40%
- Each person feels seen, heard and knows they matter
- Communication is authentic even when its uncomfortable
- Active listening is practiced
Now I know this community is full of people who are practicing being in healthy, constructive relationships both personally and professionally and we’d like to hear from you! What do you think needs to be added to the list? Let’s keep this dialog going! Please give us your thought to the question in the comments section.
Oprah Winfrey says, “Every single person you will ever meet shares a common desire. They want to know: Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?” I use this quote on a daily basis. I strive to see, hear, and acknowledge and validate every person I come into contact with…from the cashier behind the counter to those I love dearly. I’ve also let go of relationships where I am not getting this in return. For me, relationships are a 2-way street and I know I deserve to be seen, heard and acknowledged. I am no longer willing to give less or to settle for less.
Next week, I will be supporting Farm to Fork Frederick by dining out with my wholistic friends. I encourage you to consider doing the same. Spending time with the people who are special to us is important and I can’t think of a better way than over a meal at one of the Farm to Fork restaurants. You can get more information by clicking here.
In the mean time, don’t forget to give us your input on what makes up a wholistic relationship. Thanks!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Jun 25, 2014 | Courage, Laura Hall, Retreats
I believe that it’s important to become comfortable being uncomfortable. Let’s be honest, life is often uncomfortable! When was the last time you remember feeling uncomfortable? Do you have discomfort triggers?
Do difficult conversations cause you to squirm in your seat? How do you feel about public speaking, or how about watching someone who is struggling with public speaking? Does being in an elevator with strangers wig you out? What was it like to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees? Are you comfortable with people crying? Does it make a difference whether the crier is male or female? When your bank account balance drops below a certain level, does that make you uncomfortable? How do you feel when someone asks you, “Why are you so quiet? Or “Why are you so loud? Are there situations at work that make you feel uncomfortable? Yes, life can often be uncomfortable.
In my earlier years I would often run from discomfort. If something was outside of my comfort zone, I would avoid it at all costs. That strategy worked for me for a little while, but eventually it caught up to me. What happened was that I noticed there were big picture things I wanted to do, but some of the details were out of my comfort zone. For example, I knew I wanted to become a life coach, but the idea of having to coach a master certified coach was outside of my comfort zone (quite frankly, it scared me more than I wanted to admit). I knew at that time that I needed to adopt a new strategy, and since that time I’ve been practicing being comfortable being uncomfortable.
So what are some of the problems with the comfort zone? The problems that come to mind for me is that it limits my learning or experiencing new things, it keeps me closed minded, it can get so comfortable that I get lazy or complacent. It can lead to boredom.
Rational psychologist, Windy Dryden, author of the book, “10 Steps to Positive Living”, says that a lot of human suffering comes from being intolerant of discomfort. He says that the reason we are intolerant of discomfort is because we massively overestimate how uncomfortable our feared situations will be, and that the more we avoid these situations, the more uncomfortable we’ll find them. So maybe I’m on to something in trying to practice being comfortable being uncomfortable.
Dryden says, that the more you practice putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more your brain habituates to them. Or in my words, being comfortable being uncomfortable leads to more comfort 🙂
Just for fun, I took a quick survey of my husband,my children, my friend, and her kids around the question, “Why do you think it’s important to step out of you your comfort zone?”. Here are their responses:
- It stretches you to grow
- It challenges you and helps you see just how strong you really are
- It gives you courage when you face a fear
- It gets you to try new things and learn new thing
- It builds your confidence
Now it’s your turn…Why do you think it’s important to step outside your comfort zone?
Are you ready to walk your talk? Wholistic Woman Retreat’s next event is titled “Be Courageous” and it’s about stepping outside your comfort zone. Consider joining us on July 15th for a positive, enriching and encouraging evening with other Wholistic Women. Click here for details
And for a little taste of what you can expect from the zip line portion of the evening, check out this video:
[yframe url=’http://youtu.be/Z4EcDqbphb8′]
https://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4EcDqbphb8&feature=em-share_video_user
Hope you see you there!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | May 29, 2014 | Fear, Laura Hall, Retreats
Are you in control of your thoughts or do your thoughts control you?
I have long believed that we, as human beings, aren’t in control of much, but one thing we can most certainly control is our thoughts. A quick google search on books on this included titles such as “Change your Thoughts, Change Your Life” by Wayne Dyer, “Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow” by Karen Casey, “The Weight Loss Mindset: 10 Thoughts that are Keeping You Fat” by Sarah Patterson, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” by Daniel G. Amen, and the list could go on and on.
For me, the real question is not IF we can control our thoughts, but rather, HOW? How do we change our thoughts? Especially those really pesky thoughts that are holding us back in some way and keeping us from being all we are meant to be and do all the things we are meant to do. It’s one thing to subscribe to the belief that we are in control of our thoughts; it’s something all together different to put it into action. A couple years ago I went to see Eckhart Tolle speak and he was asked a question about how to let go of negative thought patterns. His answer was….you simply drop it, just like you’d drop a hot potato. After you drop it, if you find yourself holding it again you just drop it again. At the time, I didn’t find that answer very helpful. I wanted a more detailed answer with specific steps. What I know now is simple is better. I’ve been practicing dropping unwanted thoughts like hot potatoes, and guess what….It works!
Here’s a little story about how I recently dealt with one of those pesky little….OK, pesky big unwanted thoughts. If I was giving it a title, it would be “Dental Phobia: True Confessions from the Wife of a Dentist”.
As a child, I can’t remember one single dentist appointment where I didn’t have a least one cavity. I would brush my teeth regularly. I would use the little red tablets that would show you where you weren’t brushing effectively enough and focus on those areas. I would rinse with nasty tasting Listerine – the one in the brown bottle that would come wrapped in paper. It was horrible! I was determined that my next visit would be cavity free, but to no avail. What made it worse is that my brother had no where near the oral hygiene that I did, but he would show up cavity free. As a result I grew to dread going to the dentist. Everything about it made me anxious. The smell of the office – that mixture of cleaning products and burning teeth, the cheezy Muzak that did nothing to soothe my young soul, the sticky vinyl of the chairs of torture all contributed to my absolute terror.
Fast forward to my college years. It was during this time that I met my husband. He was a biology major. You can do a million things with a biology major. Of course he picked the one career path that had I known that was where his biology degree was going to take him, I would have gone running in the complete opposite direction. You guessed it…He became a dentist. I now had a problem! I was in love with Bill Hall, but he was becoming the thing I feared the most. How did I handle it you ask, I pushed the scary thoughts about dentists under the rug and tried to remind myself that he loved me and wasn’t going to hurt me. I know in those early days, I was a nightmare of a patient to him. My fear caused me to over manage him when I was in the dental chair…”don’t do that”, “let me sit up for a minute”, “I hate that flavor of flouride”…blah,blah,blah! I was a chronic complainer at the dentist office. I was the person Lisa talked about in her blog last week. (Click here if you missed it) I didn’t like who I was in that environment. It was clear to me that my thoughts and fears were bringing out a side of me that I didn’t like. Then I remembered that I believe I am in control of my thoughts and decided to do something about them.
At my last visit, Bill told me that a lot of my fillings were getting old and were in need of being replaced. I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to practice dropping the hot potato of negative thoughts about dental treatment. What I found was that it was easier to drop the negative thoughts when I could replace them with a different thought. “This is going to hurt” became “I’ve had 2 natural childbirths…I can handle this” or “It’s just a sensation”. What I found was that there wasn’t any pain. My brain was telling me that dental procedures are painful but the truth is, it wasn’t.
It was also interesting to observe how my body responded to my thoughts. About every 30 seconds, I noticed that my fists were clenching and my shoulders were tense. As soon as I noticed that, I would just remind myself to “relax”. I would try to slow down my breathing and let my body melt into the comfortable chair (NOT the chair of torture!).
This experience took a lot of focus on my part. My old thought patterns came automatically; the new ones took a lot of energy. By the end of the visit, I was exhausted, but I felt good about practicing being in control of my thoughts. I trust that just like building a muscle, the more I practice this, the easier it’s going to get.
So in answering the question of how do we change our thoughts? Here is what I observed in hindsight:
1. Awareness – notice the thoughts that are holding you back
2. Decide; make a conscious choice to change them
3. Replace old thought with new thoughts
4. Pay attention to your body; sometimes it speaks first
5. Repeat this process – moment by moment if necessary
The moral of the story for me is that what you think matters. Look at the areas of your life that you’d like to see changes in and work on changing your thoughts.
Over here at Wholistic Woman Retreats we are getting ready for our annual zip line retreat event. As I’ve been talking to women about joining us, I’ve run into a few people who say, “Oh, I could never do that!”. If that is you, I’d like to challenge you to consider giving it a try. It is really very easy, just ask Carol deLaski’s 80 something year old mother who has joined us on several occasions. Stop telling yourself your can’t and start telling yourself you can. What you think matters! You can find details on how to register by clicking here.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Apr 23, 2014 | Business, Laura Hall, Professional Development
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~ Albert Einstein
Everyone is a genius! You are a genius. Don’t believe me!?! Well, why would you? I’m just Laura Hall, but how can you deny the fact when Albert Einstein tells you that everyone is a genius, and guess what? You are included in everyone. So there! You are a genius!
You know who else is a genius?
Your teenager, you know the one I’m talking about – the one who is making questionable decisions right now – is a genius. Your spouse is a genius. Yes, even though they forget to take out the trash, or buy you a gift on your birthday, or leave their socks in the family room despite you constantly reminding them to please take their socks to the laundry room, or…(you get the point). And you know that person you work with, the employee or coworker who you have to constantly remind about protocols and procedures, yes, they too are a genius. How can I say that you ask? Easy! Albert Einstein told me 🙂
Have you ever heard of the book StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath? It’s a book I use often with my life coaching clients. The book is based on the idea that people have several times more potential for growth when they invest evergy in developing their strengths instead of correcting their deficiencies. In other words, that they stop tring to be a tree climbing fish and instead focus on developing their ability to breathe under water. Are you living your life with a focus on developing the things that you are naturally gifted at, or are you trying to swim upstream? Are you encouraging your team, those people around you on a daily basis – your family, your co-workers, your employees – to do the same or are you asking a fish to climb a tree and then wondering why you are all so frustrated? There is another way. Start looking for the genius in yourself as well as in those you associate with. I promise you, it is there. Then begin asking yourself, how can this genius be used to bring more effectiveness, harmony, peace (or whatever else you think your life or business could use more of) to what is going on right now.
Exactly one week from today, on Wednesday April 30th, I will be leading a workshop right here in Frederick for people who are ready to join in the conversation about what’s right with people and to discuss how looking at strengths can impact you business and your life. I hope you will consider joining me. Click here for details.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Mar 12, 2014 | Laura Hall, Personal Development
If you are a regular follower of Wholistic Woman Retreats, then you know we are all agog over here about our upcoming retreat based on Carol deLaski’s new book, “Lost and Found”. As I’ve been doing my part in preparing for this event, the question that keeps popping up in my head is, “What do I still hope to find in my life?”.
The answer is that I hope to find ME.
I believe that finding myself is one of my purposes in life. Maybe my only purpose (I’m not sure about this yet). But here is the tricky part….I also believe that I’m meant to evolve. So how do I find something that is constantly changing? Hmm…maybe finding myself is about living in the question of, “Who am I?”. Who am I today, right now. What layers of my former ME am I ready to shed so that I can discover the ME of right now. What thoughts are no longer serving the ME of today? What is no longer true for ME?
So I guess that what I am coming to is that finding myself is going to be an ongoing process. It’s going to be a journey, not a destination. Finding ME is going to be something that I work on on a daily basis. It will forever be the answer to the question, what do I still hope to find? And you know what? I am OK with that! I accept that I am a work in progress. Always.
Now it’s your turn! How would you answer the question, “What do you still hope to find?” We’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
Page 7 of 11« First«...56789...»Last »
