by Carol deLaski | Dec 17, 2015 | Holidays, Kelye Rouse-Brown
I love the holidays. I love the connection and spirit that surrounds us throughout the month of December. I’ve often thought that the magic of Christmas, or any holiday you celebrate, is a reflection of who you are in each season of the year.
We each have holiday traditions that have special meaning for us. When I was little we always opened a gift or two on Christmas Eve…which was my mother’s favorite day of the year and has become mine as well.
Over the years, for me, the holiday spirit has shifted from getting presents to giving them. I pause more often as I decorate the tree and remember details about each ornament. I decorate the house one day at a time instead of rushing through the process. When I send holiday cards I connect with some people that I have not been in touch with in 365 days.
I notice that many people feel rushed during the holidays and overwhelmed. In fact, a close friend of mine is offering a service especially designed to help those individuals. In the past few years I like to slow down, take it all in, and savor this delicious time of the year. Sometimes I feel a little like Mrs. Claus spreading the joy…and sometimes toys!
Here are my favorite ways to savor the joy of the holiday and keep spirits bright:
• Turn on the twinkly lights in the house during the day and night
• Wear festive sparkly clothes, dress up my pugs, and have an open house
• Plan lunch or dinner with close friends to celebrate
• Reconnect with friends and family through cards and family photos
• Play holiday music in my house and car and sing out loud
• Keep traditions alive and make new ones every year; like baking cookies or mixing nuts
• Watch at least three holiday movies – my favorites are The Holiday, Love Actually, and The Family Stone…as well as the classics too!
Watching the movie Family Stone recently sparked my interest to reflect on special moments. It inspired me to go through old pictures and I framed one of my mother and brother when he was just 10 days old. I plan to give it to him for Christmas. I know he will be touched by this gift of a reminder of our mother. The gift of memories is precious, indeed.
The holidays are not a one size fits all…no two are exactly the same.
What keeps your spirits bright over the holidays?
What traditions do you have?
How do you savor your holiday?
I hope you will embrace the surprises of the season and enjoy creating new memories that you might frame in the future.
Wholistic Woman Retreats sends you bright light and love this holiday season.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate are what help her clients develop, spark action and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Dec 10, 2015 | Fitness, Holidays, Sandie Lynch
The holidays are officially here with Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas music on the radio. I love this time of year and the opportunity to connect with friends and loved ones! There are more parties and celebrations with tons of good and delicious food.
The only problem is that with all this great food, there is the temptation to over eat and indulge. If you are like me, over indulgence may leave you feeling sluggish and not feeling your best. There may also be the concern with all the delicious food, the fear of putting on a few extra pounds contributing to feeling less than your best. The good news is that recent research shows that most people only gain a pound over the holidays. In years past, that number was more like a 5 to 8 pounds gained once January was here, so, we are either getting better about controlling our indulgence or what we eat at the holidays is not that different then what we eat normally.
Either way, for me the main focus is to move through the holidays feeling my best and experiencing more bliss with love, peace, joy and little stress. If this is important to you as well, here are a few strategies that I have used when attending holiday parties to avoid over indulgence that will leave you feeling less than your best
- Don’t obsess about it. When our mind is trying not to do something, it causes us to do the very thing we don’t want. For example, if I say, don’t think about the color red. Well, there we are trying to think about every color but red, but it is still obsessed with the color red. Same with food, when we try to “avoid” something, we obsess about it until we give in and usually over eat the very thing we are avoiding. So have a little and move on to eating something healthy. This is called intuitive eating.
- Eat a small meal before a party. There are usually a ton of choices at a party and most likely we want to try it all, so even taking very small bites can really add up the calories. When we go to a party hungry, we often take larger portion sizes than we need and end up over eating. Especially, if raised being conditioned to “clean” our plates. But when we are nutritionally satisfied, we are in greater control of portion sizes and better with cues to stop. Another strategy is to leave a little food on your plate, so your host does not feel the need to offer you more.
- Balance rich foods with something healthy. There are usually plenty of decadent desserts available at holiday parties. Try to take a smaller portion than normal by connecting with someone to share. Then before you give in to your mind screaming for more, balance it out with some fresh fruits and vegetables. Fresh fruits and vegetables are packed with water, fiber, and nutrients which will not only add beneficial nutrients but will help wash away the taste that causes your mouth to be hungry for more. The fresh fruits and vegetables will also help fill you up and keep your intake with fewer calories.
- Drink water instead of your calories. Many holiday beverages are packed with calories, sugar and fat! Some popular favorites; Eggnog = 390 calories for 1 cup, Hot cocoa = 320 calories for 12 oz, a better option is a glass of wine = 125 – 150 calories. If you want to have a beverage and keep the calories to a minimum, “double fist” it. One hand has a glass of wine and the other holds your water; for every sip of wine you take, then take a drink of water. This also keeps your hands busy from grabbing extra food you may not need. Another idea is to mix the wine with sparkling or carbonated water for a spritzer. Water is always a great idea. It keeps you hydrated and keeps your digestive system moving which can become slow when eating rich foods.
- Keep moving for more muscle! Often during the holidays, our normal exercise regimen goes out the window. As the schedule gets hectic, the last thing you want to give up is movement. Not only does this help keep the stress hormones lower, but it keeps your muscles engaged to burn the extra calories. Even if you do over eat and gain weight, when challenging the muscles you may gain more muscle instead of fat. If so, this will aid in losing the weight faster when the eating patterns go back to normal. When we have more muscle or lean body mass, the body is more efficient in using our calories for energy instead of storing them somewhere we don’t want.
- Get plenty of rest: Rest is essential to keep our stress low, our hunger in check, and our mood more positive, exactly what we all need during the hectic pace during the holidays. Therefore, set your day up for success by planning what time you need to be in bed to wake up refreshed, renewed, and ready to make your holiday everything you want!
May you be blessed with love, joy, and peace this Holiday Season! Be Well, and Be Whole!
Would love to hear your tips for breezing through the holidays with ease!
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
Check out ATP Fitness to “Maximize” your 2016. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life! Contact Sandie via email at [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 13, 2015 | Laura Hall, Self-Care
What did you like to play with when you were a child?
Did you enjoy coloring, painting, molding clay, or building with blocks?
As you grew, did you nurture your imagination…or did you let your creativity drift away as the years passed by? It would be understandable if you did. Our tendencies to be original or to think-outside-the-box can be reduced as we grow up and are taught to fit in and conform. What would it be like to let yourself play creatively again as you did when you were younger?
If you had the chance…what would you do? Would you dig in the sand or dirt, or splash in water? Would you build a fort out of blankets, shining a flashlight underneath its sagging walls and imagining that it’s your own private world?
I recently had the opportunity to explore my creative side by playing with acrylic paints at an evening program hosted by Wholistic Woman Retreats. I have an eye for color and design, but I certainly don’t consider myself to be an artist. There are many others who are more gifted than I am in that area and I am okay with that.
Before I went to the event, I gave some thought to what I would like to paint. In my mind’s eye I envisioned a tree in autumn. Inspired by the beautiful fall colors outdoors, I wanted to capture these images on the canvas. I thought a fall tree would be a perfect representation of the changes that were occurring in my own life. I was thinking how I wanted this painting to remind me that changes can offer beauty even in the midst of loss and necessary endings. After the leaves wither and fall to the ground, the tree trunk still stands strong with a certain serenity as it waits throughout the winter months for new growth to return in the spring. I wanted to be beautiful and strong like a tree.
I was optimistic that I would be able to paint the tree in my mind’s eye with guidance from artist Shari Grandstaff and life coach Laura Hall. Laura taught us how to set our expectations and encouraged us to give ourselves permission to release any creative blocks that existed.
I gave myself permission to have fun!
It had been a gray, rainy day and I was feeling a bit gloomy when I arrived. I wanted to shake off the shadows that were hanging around the edges of my heart and mind. I chose to be playful and enjoy this activity instead of striving to make it a ‘project’, which would inherently feel stressful to me. No one would be grading my painting…except possibly me… so I decided to set the bar low and adopted ‘just have fun’ as my mantra.
I dumped out the contents of my materials bag which contained a variety of tools; fat and thin brushes, a sponge, decals, modge-podge, and glitter. I listened to basic advice offered by Shari and decided to dive in. I began by using my sponge to make the background color yellow. My gray mood began to lift as soon as I applied the bright paint to the white canvas. When the canvas was completely covered with yellow paint, I turned my attention to creating a sunset sky as a backdrop for my tree. Our palette contained only primary colors, so I began mixing red and yellow to create the orange shades that I desired. I chose a brush to apply big strokes of orange on top of the yellow and felt myself smile as my whole arm swung back and forth applying the paint. I blended spots of red into the yellow and orange and gazed in wonder at the beautiful array of colors before me.
The transformation within me was even more impressive. My spirits lifted as I focused on nothing more than creating and applying colors. I heard other painters around me asking questions and giving each other advice, but I concentrated on my own creative experience. Although it was tempting to look at what others were doing, I didn’t want to lose my momentum.
Once the sky was a beautiful blend of sunset colors I decided to paint my tree trunk. At this point in the process I asked, and listened to, the advice of others on blending colors to make brown. As I began to swirl colors together on my palette I realized that it was more challenging than I thought it would be. Soon, however, I had a satisfactory shade for the trunk and began to apply it to the canvas. I changed the side-to-side strokes that I had used for the sky to vertical up-and-down strokes for the trunk. I must admit that I got carried away as I kept applying more and more color to capture the look that I wanted for the trunk. The base of the trunk grew massive and the upper branches spread out across the entire canvas. My tree took on a life of its own as I lost myself in the rhythmic painting. It felt both soothing and expressive as I applied layers of paint to the trunk.
Eventually I had to make myself stop painting because my idea of a slender tree was now long gone and in its place was a massive, old, tree. I took a break from painting the trunk to dab leaf colors throughout the branches. It was coming alive for me now. I added some fallen leaves around the base of the tree and noticed how the autumn scene I envisioned was emerging.
When I stepped back and surveyed my work I was slightly taken-aback by the contrast between the image that I had started with and what was now on the canvas before me. I shook my head with a smile and admitted to myself that I had gotten carried away with the sheer joy of applying paint to the canvas. I proceeded to ask Shari for advice about slimming my tree trunk and she helped me use modge-podge and pinks in the background sky to blend and narrow it.
Painters around me offered encouragement when I lamented about the size of my tree, telling me that it looked like a ‘Wise’ tree. I tilted my head to one side and decided that they were right.It wasn’t the tree I planned to paint….but it was a fine tree nonetheless. In fact, in some ways it was better than what I had originally imagined.
How often do other parts of my life turn out differently, yet perhaps better, than I imagined?
With childlike grace I tried not to judge what I had created. I released my original idea of what I wanted it to be and accepted it for what it was. As I did so I reminded myself to repeat this practice in other arenas of my life as well. It’s okay to begin with an idea in mind, but as I begin to create something new I need to be open to it becoming something different….maybe something better.
As the evening ended I carefully painted my theme words for the past three years into the leaves to remind myself of their wisdom and guidance. With that I called it done.
My painting now sits on my mantle at home and each time I gaze at it a smile comes to my face…I feel lighter and brighter and a warm glow of acceptance fills me. I know that it’s good enough…and so am I.
How do you want to play today?
Wonder and joy awaits you when you give yourself permission to be creative.
This article was written by Carol deLaski, a professional certified coach, speaker, author, and co-founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats. She specializes in strengths development for businesses and individuals. To contact her email [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 14, 2015 | Change, Guest Blogging
Have you ever wondered how to be more resilient?
Is resilience something that people are born with or something that develops throughout a lifetime?
Many scientists believe the truth lies someplace in-between. For myself, resilience is something I have had for as long as I can remember, even as a child. I was born into a family that required me to be strong, persevere, and to move forward – if I hadn’t, I would not be where I am today.
When I was 21 years old, my life took an unexpected turn when I lost my beloved brother, John, to suicide. John was the one person I always said I could not live without. The thought of anything happening to him would bring me to tears. He was my best friend. John was the most loving, caring, warm, giving, selfless individual I have known. All he ever wanted was to find and give love – to make everyone else happy. I feel lucky to have had him as a brother, if only for 18 years.
It is hard for me to believe it has been nearly 14 years since I lost John. I thought my life would end with his death, but it didn’t. I am still living and he is still with me and guides me. As I look back over these years I see pain and loss…but I also see healing and hope. I know John is proud of me and although I do not “hear” his voice, I see signs showing me what I am supposed to be doing with my life. Signs that guided me to ultimately use the gifts God gave me as a child to make meaning out of John’s life and to help others.
From the time I was little I loved to write. In fact, I wanted to be a writer or a journalist when I grew up. I majored in Technical Writing as an undergraduate at James Madison University and considered getting my Master’s degree in Journalism. Ironically enough, that path wasn’t meant for me and after many career changes, I found myself as a consultant, specializing in training and development. However, I now see that I was given the gift to write in order to share my story… a story I never thought I would be blessed to share. A story of life, love, loss, and resilience.
After John’s death I looked for resources to help me deal with my grief and found few books that spoke to the sibling perspective of suicide loss. I wanted so desperately to be able to relate to someone, to understand what had happened to John. I knew immediately that I had to write a book to help fill the void and to make meaning out of John’s death. I had the outline for it within a year, but it took me ten years to complete it. I decided to self-publish so I could get my story out there as soon as I was ready. My goal has never been to make money – simply to help others. If even one person is helped by John’s story, then I believe his life was not in vain.
To me, this is resilience. Taking a tragedy, or any less-than-ideal circumstance, and making meaning out of it. Finding a purpose, or embracing a different direction – even when life takes you down a path you do not expect. Fortunately, my resilient nature helped me move forward in the face of adversity, however, there were times when I was faced with hurdles that took me down and challenged me to get back up again.
How can you cultivate your resilience?
- Be flexible. Life rarely goes as planned. The more you can embrace the twists and turns it throws at you, the more resilient you will become.
- Be positive. For almost every tragedy in life, there is something to be learned from it. By keeping a positive attitude, you will increase your propensity toward resilience.
- Be kind and gentle with yourself. It is okay to question your purpose, to doubt yourself, and even to give up for a little while, if that’s what you need to do. In the end, ask yourself this – is something bigger than you calling you to a greater cause? If the answer is yes, you won’t be able to walk away from your desires for long.
There is, and always will be, an irreplaceable emptiness where my brother once was. I think about the life he will not fulfill and selfishly, the life I have that he is no longer a part of. I know many survivors of suicide feel this way. Nevertheless, I am still grateful for the life I have and can live – not only for myself, but also for him. This is what keeps me going – what fuels my resilience.
Today’s author: Magdaline DeSousa is the author of The Forgotten Mourners: Sibling Survivors of Suicide, which is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or through Outskirts Press. She lives and works in the DC Metro area. Magdaline can be reached via email at [email protected] or on her Facebook Page: https://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.facebook.com/theforgottenmourners.
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 2, 2015 | Fear, Laura Hall, Retreats
About a year ago a friend invited me to join her for a Paint Nite event. I had heard about these gatherings and had actually seen some finished projects on Facebook. I was impressed! However, the first thought that went through my head was, “I can’t paint. I would never be able to make something like that!”
In case you aren’t familiar with the concept, a Paint Nite works like this…a group of people get together, usually at a bar or restaurant, and over the course of about 2 hours they are guided step by step through the painting process. Everyone walks away with 16” x 20” canvas painting that has been modeled after the one the instructor brings.
Several years ago, I made the conscious decision to stop turning away from things that scared or intimidated me. My mantra was (and continues to be) feel the fear and do it anyway. This is how I practice courage. With this mantra in mind, I decided to say yes to the Paint Nite invitation. Here is a picture of my finished product 🙂 
That night I not only walked away with a painting I’m proud of, but I also walked away with some important life lessons that I’d like to share with you now.
Life Lesson #1 – Begin by beginning.
Honestly, the hardest part for me was putting the first stroke of paint on the canvas. My entire life I’ve wrestled with perfectionism and certainty. I wanted my picture to look just like the artist’s. I wanted to know that mine was going to turn out as good as the already completed painting she brought with her as an example. I wanted a gold star on my finished project. I was afraid to start because I didn’t want to fail, but that’s not feeling the fear and doing it anyway, so I grabbed the brush and began painting.
What I learned that night was that sometimes (dare I say most of the time) it’s impossible to predict the outcome of events with certainty. What I already knew, but needed to be reminded of, is that perfectionism is overrated and not helpful. Healthy striving is my goal, not perfectionism. Once its safe to leap, sometimes you just have to leap. There are many areas in my life where the lesson to begin by beginning applies. Blog writing, exercise, scrapbooking, clearing out my closet, and even things like difficult conversations that need to be had are a few areas that come to mind for me.
Life Lesson #2 – Permission slips work. Remember to use them!
One of the tools I use when working with coaching clients is permission slips. It comes from the Daring Greatly curriculum that is part of the certification I got based on the work of Brené Brown. The idea is to finish the statement…I give myself permission to ____________. Permission slips help me get clear about what’s holding me back and they help me show up more fully. During Paint Nite I gave myself permission to be disappointed in my final project, to be a beginner, and to have fun with my friends. As soon as I gave myself this permission everything changed. I was able to be in the moment with the painting. It was a fun night!
Life Lesson #3 – Be careful with comparison.
During my Paint Nite experience, I found myself looking not only at the instructor’s painting for reference, but also at the paintings of the people around me. There were times during the night that looking around gave me inspiration, but there were also times when looking around only made me feel like my painting wasn’t measuring up. There seems to be a tipping point for me.
What I learned that night is that comparison has two sides. There is the side that motivates and inspires me, like when I’m working out and I notice the person beside me really pushing herself and I think, I could try a little harder, and there is also the side that leads to feelings of not enough, like when I’m at a Paint Nite and I look at the masterpiece being created next to me and I think, Wow, my painting stinks!. Being careful to notice when comparison tips from inspiration to scarcity is something I need to be on the look out for on a regular basis.
Now it’s your turn…
If you’d like to learn your own life lessons, consider joining us on October 28th for Be Creative. The evening will be a blend of art project and life coaching. As Shari, our artist for the evening, leads you through the painting process, I will coach you on topics such as perfectionism, comparison, courage, and permission. You will walk away not only with a beautiful piece of art, but also with your own life lesson takeaways. For more information Click Here.
Register today as space is limited
Do you love your life? As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
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