by Carol deLaski | Jul 7, 2012 | Business, Fitness, Health, Linda Norris, Success
Years ago, I participated for a short while in a group to ease a bout with panic disorder. It was called Co-Dependents Anonymous, and one of their signature themes was the statement above, among the familiar 10-step process.
It was a real challenge for me, because I tend to hold onto my life tightly, certain that if I work hard enough, try hard enough, manage things closely enough, everything will turn out OK.
Yet there are times when I have to push myself to just trust, and close my eyes, and undoubtedly, good things will happen.
- Despite closing my heart and feeling I would never truly fall in love after my first marriage ended in divorce, I decided to let go and trust that good things might be allowed to happen for me, and with a wonderful man I met named Eric. I am now married and in love in a way I never dreamed I could be.
- After I was laid off from a job and a company I loved, I let go and refused to allow myself to fall into the despair that is so easy and normal for people who lose their job through no fault of their own. I consciously decided to let go of the anger, the self-victimization, and was able to progress immediately into positive space—job interviews, first clients, and a business that is slowly but steadily growing.
There’s another kind of letting go that made me mull over these control issues. It’s the physical letting go of fear when you’re faced with a more “in your face” challenge—and we have the perfect example available to all of us wholistic women this month, skimming down a zip line. I had only done one short zipline on a Girl Scout challenge course before the lengthy zipline we did at the 2011 retreat, which allowed us to fly down a hill and brush over a small lake.
Taking that first step off the platform was the scariest part, but I closed my eyes, Let Go, and Let God. And She came through—what a ride it was, and Her hands —in the form of the half-dozen other women waiting to help break my landing—were waiting to congratulate me! (You can see me near the end of my ride in the photo).
If you want to have a very real experience with Letting Go and Letting Your Self Control give over to something greater, consider our summer activity. It will expand your possibilities in ways you will always remember!
(For more info on the event, visit here: https://wholisticwomenliving.com/zip-into-summer-zipline-event/)
Linda Norris, NW Communications
[email protected]
240-315-8876
Check out our new website: www.nwcommsyourstory.com
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 2, 2011 | Carol deLaski, Family, Finances, Success
Using Goals and Intentions effectively to get what you want.
While traveling recently to visit my son at college I took a wrong turn. Since I’ve done this trip numerous times over the years I had boldly set off without written directions or even a GPS. I was sure I knew the way and scoffed at any suggestion that I should prepare for the trip by printing MapQuest directions or borrowing a friend’s GPS. After all, there weren’t that many turns and I was sure I’d recognize the signs and landmarks as they appeared. I didn’t. It’s been many months since I last did the trip so when the exit sign for 220A appeared, I couldn’t remember if I needed to take it, or if there would be another exit for 220. Making a snap decision I decided to take it and immediately began to wonder if I had done the right thing. Was this going to get me where I wanted to go?
Isn’t that how life is sometimes? We know where we want to go but we don’t do what’s necessary to prepare and thus ensure our success in getting there. Whether we’re overconfident (as I was) or simply naïve in knowing what’s necessary, we sometimes set off without considering how we’re going to get where we want to go.
Goals and intentions are two useful tools to ensure our success. We can think of our intentions like the destination on a trip. We know we want to go to San Francisco, for example. There are lots of ways to get there, though, and goal setting is how we choose our specific route. Many considerations need to be taken into account when choosing the steps, or route, that will best get you to your destination. The steps that are right for you may not be right for someone else. Consulting outside sources, as well as your own inner wisdom, will help you decide which steps will get you where you want to go.
Intentions describe the passion or purpose behind an act or change. They are based on your values and priorities and act as a guiding light to help you navigate your way toward the reality you want to create. They are the what and why that guide and limit your actions or behavior. For example, a fitness intention may be to improve your health so that you feel better and can keep up with your partner or kids.
Goals, on the other hand, define a series of steps required to complete the intention. Goals are the how, when and where of the change you wish to create. In our fitness example, it might be “My goal is to lose 10 lbs, start doing yoga, and clean up my diet.”
Goals are to intentions as driving directions are to a destination. What goals do you need to set today to move toward the destination you want in your health, finances, relationships, or career?
On 220A I decided to contact someone who had access to a map, as well as my son who has driven this route many times. Both confirmed I had taken a wrong turn, however, with the help of road signs I eventually found my way to 220. Detours and wrong turns aren’t the end of the world, but they create uncertainty and angst. With the help of others I got back on track and I learned a lesson that I hopefully won’t forget . The next time I hit the road I will prepare better by consulting a tour book or travel guide to explore the many ways to get to my destination.
When preparing for a life change it’s wise to work with a guide as well. Whether you’re going to San Francisco, a healthier lifestyle, or a new career, carefully choose the steps that will get you there.
Today’s author: Carol Hayes, [email protected] or 301-371-7460. Through her company, Clear Choices Coaching, Carol shares her expertise and skill fostering growth in people of all ages. She is especially energized when her coaching helps people experience “breakthrough” moments where they push through their personal edge and grow more fully into the people they want to be. Carol’s certification as a Life and Energy Leadership coach comes from The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation. She is also a dynamic speaker and workshop leader who facilitates energizing connections with groups of all sizes.
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 28, 2011 | Health, Linda Norris, Success
If you visit any Farmers Market or the local produce section of the supermarket, there’s one thing you’ll notice this time of year: a plethora of all types, colors and varieties of fruits and vegetables.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we had that abundance year-round? If you can, or have a big freezer in the dead of winter you can do as our ancestors and taste fresh squash, or savor your salsa from the summer’s heirloom tomatoes.
We all have sparse points in our lives, when this season’s abundance seems thin—a dearth of fresh ideas, of happy thoughts, or of positive people. Instead, frustrations seem to reign and we struggle to make any progress. However, as with harvest vegetables, it takes work, some planning, and conscious effort to make sure you have plenty when it doesn’t seem obvious or available.
Avoid Scarcity Thinking.
Examples:
- “You can’t change it, we’ve always done it that way.” (Can stop a church committee looking for ways to recruit new members dead in its tracks!)
- “Better not help him out, he’ll never be there for you.” (Can keep a loving person from acting with compassion towards another family member when paybacks become part of the equation).
- “If I share that idea she might take it and use it against me.” (Can keep smart people from offering good ideas!)
- “If we tell our employees what’s really going on, we might look foolish.” (Can keep nervous employers from taking advantage of the idea pool that they have in their employee base when their business hits a rocky road.)
Scarcity thinking like this happens because it the thinker is missing one big element: trust. If it’s you doing thinking this way, learn to recognize it from the examples above, stop yourself and breathe. You usually know when you’re in scarcity thinking because your brows crease, you get a headache, your chest tightens and you feel a sense of dread, anger or anxiety. Once you learn to recognize it, let go of your thought and the control you need over the outcome, and relax. Trust that the right answer will come.
If someone else has captured you in scarcity thinking, run!
There are endless ways to skin a cat.
Once you have opened up your mind and let go of scarcity, brainstorm. Sit down with a blank piece of paper; consciously let of the outcome that has you panicked, and let it flow–any idea you can think of. If another person at your work, or in your family, is the one dragging you down, convince them to try it with you. Look for alternatives—you will be amazed at how many are available to you.
In scenarios involving this mode of thought, the promoter usually doesn’t trust:
a) that people would be willing to compromise, given the opportunity;
b) that there is more one way to achieve an answer, a resolution or fulfill a need or
c) that there can be multiple “winners”.
Yet, when you think about some of the situations in your life when you have been able to work successfully, in consensus with others…aren’t these ultimately the “stickiest” (longest-lasting) and most pleasant to recall?
Also, have you ever noticed that when you bang your head against the wall to try to make a situation work the way you think it’s supposed to, and it doesn’t, inevitably……..it works itself in some new—and better—way.
Opportunities always abound for those who have a mind that is open to look for them. Remember to “can” your optimism, when the harvest is looking low, twist the lid open and smell deeply of the abundance of summer tomatoes.
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 8, 2010 | Guest Blogging, Jeanette Eleff, Success
When you think of success you may think it means making a large amount of money, or having the ability to travel to adventurous places whenever you want, or writing your first book. The new word about success is that you get to decide what success means to you. You define the qualities of success on your terms, no one else’s.
In addition, you may think that to reach your goal of success it requires hard work, struggle, sacrifices and “paying your dues.” In truth, reaching success can be quite easy if you decide that this is the path you want to take. Making up your mind to make it easy is a simple first step towards relieving you of the stress and struggle. A second step includes the phrase “How can I make this easy?”
As you work on making your dream come true, ask yourself “How can I make this easy?” Then sit quietly and wait for the answer to come from your deep creative center. When faced with a struggle, ask the question again and see what answer appears.
You are always at choice in your life, career and business. You can decide to make something hard or you can decide to make it easy. It is really that simple. If this concept of success without the struggle has you intrigued, then attend the session More Success With Less Stress presented by Jeanette Eleff, Success Coach and Strategist on Saturday during the Harvest Your Best Self Retreat.
To your big success,
Jeanette Eleff, Success Coach, Strategist and Speaker
www.FocusedVitality.com
