by Carol deLaski | Nov 21, 2014 | Gratitude, Laura Hall
“I always believed that one woman’s success can only help another woman’s success“~ Gloria Vanderbilt
Of all the events hosted by Wholistic Woman Retreats I think our Gratitude Dinner is one of my favorites! The evening feels laid back, warm, inviting, and fun. This is the only WWR event that is exclusively for members. Our members are the heart and soul of our community, and this evening is designed to show them how grateful we are for their presence and participation.
Be Grateful has a very simple design. We begin with appetizers and socializing. Then we gather around the tables for a delicious catered dinner. After a leisurely meal, when dessert and coffee have been served, we have an open time of sharing gratitude.
One by one, as they are ready, women express what they are grateful for and I feel my heart swelling with warmth, love and acceptance. Common themes of gratitude include being surrounded by a nurturing community of women, having a place free from judgment and competition to meet new people and develop personal and professional relationships, and being part of a group that is different from anything they’ve ever experienced before.
Our community is made up of a wide range of women. Some of us are in our 30s, some of us are in our 80s, and some of us are in between. Some of us work outside the home and some of us don’t. Some of us are parents and some of us aren’t. Some of us are Republicans, some of us are Democrats and some of us consider ourselves apolitical. I could go on and on about the myriad of ways that we are all different, but the truth is that none of that matters, because when this community gets together, all we see are the ways that we are similar, and that feels amazing!
Our community is unique…not because we have it all figured out, but rather because we know that we are all works-in-progress. We honor one another wherever we are on the journey. We understand the importance of self-care, and although we might struggle with it at times, we know there is no shame in brushing ourselves off and trying again. We practice kindness and compassion, both with ourselves and others. We celebrate each others’ successes. We know that TOGETHER WE ARE WHOLE.
So, to the members of Wholistic Woman Retreats…Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
You are the reason we do what we do. Your willingness to be real, to support one another and to come together as a community means more than you’ll ever know. We couldn’t do it without you!
To those of you who aren’t members yet, but feel drawn to this type of community, we hope that you will consider this your invitation to join us. The world needs more Wholistic women! We have many wonderful events planned for the coming year and we’d love to see you at some (or all) of them, including this year’s Gratitude Dinner on November 18th from 6-9 pm at ThorpeWood.
Become a member today by clicking here and then register for Be Grateful.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
by Carol deLaski | Nov 12, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Gratitude
What do you do when you’re down-in-the-dumps and want to lift your spirits? A proven way to shift energy from the negative to the positive is to focus on being grateful. When you do so, you change your perspective from a scarcity-mentality to one of abundance. Asking yourself, What am I grateful for? is a ‘tried-and-true’ remedy for the doldrums.
There are other advantages to being grateful as well. Literature has recognized the benefits of cultivating gratefulness as a virtue for thousands of years. More recently, through the study of positive psychology, mental health professionals are examining how virtues such as gratitude may benefit our health….and what they are finding is promising.
When it comes to health, grateful people — those who consistently incorporate gratitude into their lives — have an edge on those who are not-so-grateful, according to research on gratitude conducted by Robert Emmons, a psychology professor at the University of California Davis.
“Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, and regular physical examinations,” says Emmons.
Gratitude can also help us manage stress better.It’s commonly known that stress can make us sick, especially when we have trouble coping with it. Stress has been linked to many illnesses, such as heart disease and cancer. “Gratitude research is beginning to suggest that feelings of thankfulness have tremendous positive value in helping people cope with daily problems, especially stress,” Emmons says.
In addition, grateful people tend to be more optimistic and researchers are seeing how that characteristic boosts the immune system. “There are some very interesting studies linking optimism to better immune function,” says Lisa Aspinwall, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Utah.
So, how do you become more grateful?
- Keep a gratitude journal and daily list 3 things which you are thankful for to focus on the positive.
- Offer thanks throughout the day much like a breath prayer. Expressing appreciation to others, or to God, as you receive anything from a parking space to a beautiful sunset creates a habit of gratitude. In time, this practice may allow you to find the good even in very difficult circumstances.
- Surround yourself with people who make a habit of being grateful. Their positive energy will be contagious and support you in your effort to be more appreciative.
Ladies, consider joining the Wholistic Woman Community for their annual gratitude dinner on Nov. 18th from 6-9 pm. This members-only event is a highlight of the year. If you aren’t a member yet, you may join for 2015 and attend this year’s dinner. Click here for details and to register by 11/14 to reserve your spot to this special occasion.
As you incorporate any or all of these steps to become more grateful, I encourage you to take them beyond Thanksgiving and make it a practice that you do throughout the year. Gratitude is a powerful tool for your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a professional certified coach, speaker and author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 5, 2014 | Health, Sandie Lynch
We all age and depending on how we live we can either speed it up or slow it down! I plan to slow it down, therefore, I am constantly looking for natural ways to do just that.
I can remember my mom saying, “I never feel old until I look in the mirror.” I too feel young, but when I look in the mirror I see the signs of aging. The habits I held in my early adult years have taken their toll; sunbathing, poor diet, and inadequate sleep.
Until a few years ago, I continued to rob myself of sleep because there were just not enough hours in the day to get everything done – at least I thought. Then I started to review the research on the design of sleep and discovered I was accelerating my aging and decreasing my productivity by living sleep deprived. Needless to say, I now make every effort to get adequate rest!
Free Anti-aging Solution!
Do you invest in creams, lotions, and supplements, and/or other anti-aging products to stay feeling and looking younger? You may find your best solution may be between the sheets.
Sleep is the body’s mechanism to repair, replace and reboot our cells, tissues, and memories. We all have probably felt and seen the ill effects of a poor nights sleep in our performance and in the mirror, but it also throws the body into stress mode and instead of using our food to optimize health and productiveness it begins to breakdown and alter metabolic processes just to survive.
Benefits of Sleep and How it “Slows the Aging Process:”
- Sharper Mind: Dementia or memory loss is a common sign of aging. In 2009, researchers determined that brain events, called “sharp wave ripples”, are responsible for consolidating memory. These “ripples” also transfer learned information from the hippocampus to the neocortex of the brain, where long-term memories are stored. Sharp wave ripples occur mostly during the deepest levels of sleep, therefore, lack of sleep disrupts this process and contributes to impaired cognitive processes; decreased focus, alertness, ability to reason, problem solve, use good judgment, remember the days activities, as well as what was learned. No wonder I couldn’t get things done!
- Fewer Health Problems: Many chronic diseases are the result of inflammation in the body. Lack of sleep increases inflammation and our risk for developing heart disease possibly resulting in heart attack, heart failure, heart arrhythmias, hypertension, stroke, and diabetes. Studies have shown getting at least 6 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep provides optimal health, lowers risk of chronic disease, and increases our likeliness of living our longest and best quality life. Alternatively, our risk of dying by a serious accident increases when sleep deprived, as well as our risk of dying by a chronic disease. Dying of Cardiovascular disease increases by 50% when we get less than 6 hours consistently a night. By all means let’s get our rest!
- Younger Looking Skin: As we age, our skin becomes thinner and lackluster; showing more fine-lines, dark circles, and puffiness around the eyes. It also loses its ability to hold moisture and protect us from environmental allergens. Lack of sleep accelerates these results by two processes; first, it increases the stress hormone Cortisol, which breaks down collagen, the protein that keeps our skin firm, second, it lowers the release of Human Growth Hormone (HGH), the hormone responsible for keeping our skin thick, supple, and impermeable to toxins. Technically, when Cortisol is elevated it breaks down all proteins in the body; it is not choosy, even breaking down muscle tissue including our heart muscle. Cortisol reroutes our energy from rebuilding for optimal health, strength and stamina for survival only. The primary role of HGH is stimulating tissue for building, repair, and replacement, thus with the decreased levels in sleep deprivation, all cell turnover declines, making our skin look dull, and lackluster.
- Healthier Weight: Studies show lack of sleep increases hunger and appetite, and is possibly related to obesity. Individuals who get less than 6 hours of sleep eat about 500 extra calories a day, this is enough to add 1 pound a week. In a 2004 study, Siebern demonstrated those who sleep less than six hours a day were almost 30 percent more likely to become obese than those who slept seven to nine hours. Siebern says, “Ghrelin stimulates hunger and leptin signals satiety to the brain and suppresses appetite, shortened sleep time is associated with decreases in leptin and elevations in ghrelin.”
Sleep is the best way to ensure the body keeps all metabolic processes in optimal working condition for health.
So are you getting enough sleep?
Signs of sleep deprivation include sleepiness throughout the day especially after a meal, needing stimulants such a coffee or tea to stay alert, noticing decreased energy, ability focus, and memory recall, resulting in lowered productivity and living a full active life.
Set Yourself Up for Adequate Beauty Rest:
- Plan! Determine how many hours you need to feel rested and stay on a schedule. Go to bed each night at the same time.
- Wind down and relax: 30 minutes prior to bed turn lights down and electronics off. Electronics: TV, computer, and cell phones use “blue light” which simulates “Day” keeping you awake longer and prevents the increase of melatonin, which induces sleep.
- Keep it Dark and Quiet: Any light or noise interruptions during the night may trigger you to awaken. Use a sleeping mask or room darkening curtains or blinds. Use white noise to keep sound consistent throughout the night.
- Avoid Beverages and Large Meals before bed: To stay asleep keep beverages and meals to earlier in the evening, at least 3-4 hours for meals and 1-2 hours for beverages before bedtime. Eating and drinking too close to bedtime hinders the body’s ability to enter into deep sleep cycles and may easily awaken you to go relieve yourself.
Have you ever thought how old you want to be and what your life will look like as you age?
What are you doing to ensure your vision becomes a reality?
I don’t profess to foretell the future, but I’m planning to live to be 105 years old. God may have different plans and that’s ok, but if this is His plan too, all I can do is make the days I have left on this earth my best! I invite you to join me.
My philosophy in my “Wholistic Wellbeing” coaching business; ATP Consultants, LLC is to share 5 Key Principles to “ATP.” The ATP stands for Attain Top Performance in Life. Once I learned in college, “ATP,” adenosine triphosphate, is the body’s source of energy; I wanted to have a business by the same name. I love positive, joyful energy and plan to have plenty of supply throughout my life. My journey is live to “ATP” in life! Therefore, I love to learn and share the amazing qualities of the body in helping us do just that when we honor it with what it needs to perform its “TOP”…especially as we grow older. Get your beauty rest to feel and live your best!
What will you do differently to ensure that you “ATP”(Attain Top Performance) in life?
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Well-being Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 31, 2014 | Health, Kelye Rouse-Brown, Retreats
My mom, an Oklahoma native, was a cowgirl at heart. She believed in “putting on your brave girl boots” and pushing through. So, as you can probably imagine, I was very excited about this years Dress for a Cure Fashion Show theme of Give Cancer the Boot.
This event was created to honor my mom as she battled ovarian cancer. Dress for a Cure became even nearer and dearer to my heart when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011, and my mother and I faced our health challenges together.
Recently, I have learned of an organization called FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered), a nonprofit group that fights hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. Their focus is a good ‘fit’ with our personal experience of cancer and I wanted to support them. Truly, my mom was the force inside me. First she encouraged me to be proactive with genetic testing in 2001 which showed that I was BRCA1 positive. Then when I was diagnosed in 2011 she helped me to give cancer the boot!
My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer over 13 years ago and passed away on April 3, 2013. Dress for a Cure is a way for me to remember our journey, and to educate others while having fashion fun. This event embodies so much of what my mom represents….the heart, bravery, and “cowgirl” spirit to stay alive during difficult times and to plan ahead.
This year was my 4th annual Dress for a Cure Fashion Show. I am excited to report that the event tripled in size this year and we raised over $1,000 for FORCE. This is an event that my mother and I saw as an opportunity to get the word out for a great cause. Thanks to my friends at Aspire Women’s Clothing Boutique and Whidden Hill who helped host the event. Aspire provided the clothing worn by our beautiful models (as they have the past three years) and for the first time this year Whidden Hill helped us give cancer the boot by providing the models with western boots to compliment their outfits.
Speaking of boots, I wear my cowgirl boots all the time as I too, am a cowgirl at heart. Wearing my western boots reminds me to be brave, to push through and to help others give cancer the boot!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients. You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website www.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 8, 2014 | Change, Laura Hall
Last Saturday I walked a labyrinth for the first time. I entered with the intention of finding clarity on how I am meant to use my new training in The Daring Way™ process in my coaching practice. I exited with 7 lessons that I believe will not only help me in my coaching practice, but also in life.
1. Find a pace that’s right for you
I started off walking very slowly and mindfully. I wanted to take my time and not rush through the experience. What I noticed was that when I went too slow, I felt off balance, so I picked up the pace. However, walking too fast didn’t feel right either. I felt like I was rushing the process, just to get through it. Eventually I settled into a pace that felt just right. When it comes to our journey through life, I think that finding that pace that is just right is important. Too slow and we can feel like we are wasting our valuable resource of time, and too fast feels hectic and overwhelming. How is your pace? Are you racing through life? Are you dragging your feet? Or have you found the pace that’s right for you?
2. It’s OK to feel lost sometimes
At some point in the labyrinth I started thinking that maybe I had taken a wrong turn because it felt like it was taking too long to get to the center. I felt lost. (Even though I knew that was impossible) There have been many times in my life where I’ve felt lost, and undoubtedly as I continue to travel through life there are going to be times in the future where I am not going to be certain about where I am or what direction I can take. The lesson I took away from the labyrinth is that this is part of the process and it’s OK. As someone who craves certainty, it’s uncomfortable for me to feel lost. I don’t like not knowing, but believing that it is part of the process normalizes it for me. It’s OK to feel lost is definitely going to be a new mantra of mine. How about you? Are you comfortable with uncertainty? How would believing it was part of the path change the way you feel about it?
3. Just keep moving
In that moment when I felt lost, I noticed that I actually physically stopped walking for a minute and tried to take in the entire labyrinth. Where was I? What way did I need to go to get to the center? Why couldn’t I figure it out? As these questions swirled around in my head I heard a small whisper from the back of my mind say, “Just keep moving”. It was easy for me to see the next stone that I needed to step on, even if I couldn’t figure out how the entire path was laid out. I love the story of Hansel and Gretel and following the breadcrumbs. Trying to figure it all out has been a stumbling block for me in my life. What I recognized in the labyrinth is that I don’t need to know all the steps of how to get from point A to point B, I just need to know the next step. I can go from breadcrumb to breadcrumb! All I have to do is to just keep moving? What works for you when you feel stuck or lost? How do you get yourself back into action?
4. It will get easier
The longer I was in the labyrinth, the easier it got. I think this is true for most things in life. Allowing ourselves to be beginners is important. I think back to when I first learned to drive a stick shift. There was a lot of jerking, and stalling. Now, I can drive a stick shift like a pro! As I grow my business and step into areas that are new to me, I am going to remind myself that the more I do something, the easier it will get and that it’s ok to jerk and stall in the beginning. Where do you need to allow yourself to be a beginner in your life? What will it take for you to believe that it will get easier?
5. Stay out of comparison
At some point in my labyrinth walk I found myself looking at everyone else and wondering if I was doing it “right”, even though we were told at the beginning that there was no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. As I go through my life, it’s important for me to be me. I want to be authentic. I want to walk my path in a way that honors my unique values, style and way of being. When I spend too much time comparing myself to others I tend to go into judgement and then I worry if I am doing it “right”. Staying our of comparison is a regular practice for me. How about you? Where does comparison get in your way?
6. Trust yourself
This was another one of the whispers I heard along the path. Practicing self-compassion is something that is on the top of my list these days. Imagine what it would be like, in that moment of decision (whatever the decision is) to say to yourself, “Trust yourself!”, “You got this!”, “Whatever comes your way, you’ll be able to handle it!”. These words, for me, are some of the most self-compassionate things I can say to myself. Yes, I am unsure about exactly how I am going to take my coaching business to the next level. Yes, it feels risky putting my self out there, but I got this! I trust myself! Where do you need to remind yourself to trust yourself?
7. Don’t be afraid to be both a leader and a follower
When it comes to life I realize that there are people who are on a similar path as me. Some are ahead of me and some are behind me. I used to believe that I was either a leader or a follower, but that I couldn’t be both at the same time. Now I believe that it is absolutely possible to be both at the same time. I can learn from those that have gone before me, while at the same time leading those that are coming up behind me. In my life I am often hesitant to call myself a “leader” because I am usually looking ahead and realizing that I am “following” those that have gone before me. How can I be a leader if I am a follower? The labyrinth taught me that I can indeed be both at the same time.
As I reflect on my takeaways from my experience last week, I am experiencing an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so grateful that I am surrounded by a community of supportive fellow life travelers. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Thank you for allowing me to be both a leader and a follower!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Oct 1, 2014 | Carol deLaski, Retreats
What is a Labyrinth?
A labyrinth can be many things to many people. It may be used for relaxation, meditation, healing, spiritual guidance, reconnection within, awakening of creativity, self –empowerment, decision-making, celebration, and simply for the fun of it.It’s important to note that it is a spiritual practice and is not a magical tool. The process can be done as often as we like for body, heart, mind, and spiritual well-being.
It’s important to note that there is no right or wrong way to walk a labyrinth. A basic approach is to quiet the mind and open the heart. It has sometimes been called “body prayer” or walking meditation as we let go of thinking and move with intention. There is only one way in, and one way out. It isn’t a puzzle or maze to be solved so we can disengage from mental activity and simply be present.
It may be viewed as a metaphor for life’s journey – the path inward represents letting go of the cares of the world; the center is the place of transformation and illumination; the journey out represents the integration of the new self with the old as we seek to be whole.
How do I walk a Labyrinth?
There are several parts to walking a labyrinth which you may consider as you approach your experience. Feel free to adopt what feels best for you. Honor your own process.
Before you begin:
Consider how you want to feel the ground beneath your feet and decide if you will walk with or without shoes. At the entrance to the labyrinth, pause and open your senses as you center yourself with a few deep breaths. Acknowledge your coming meditative or spiritual journey with the labyrinth by perhaps closing your eyes, saying a prayer, bowing your head, waist, or knees and set the intention for your walk.
Possible Intentions:
- Why am I here?
- What physical, emotional, or soul need brings me here today?
- What do I need to let go of at this time to manifest the next step in my life?
- What do I need to bring into my life to take that next step?
- Ask for clarity on an important matter in your life.
- Ask for guidance in making an important decision.
- Ask to be awakened to the resources you need to manifest your soul’s desires.
- Harmonize with the energy of the labyrinth.
- Honor yourself for following your soul’s journey.
- Express gratitude for all that you have.
- Ask for nothing. Just listen.
Begin your Walk Inward:
The first step sets the pace for your walk. It can be fast or slow depending on your intention. Are you being spiritual, reflective, mindful, playful, creative, or something else? If you’re problem solving, your walk becomes a meditation when you surrender all your problems and just walk. Other parts of you have now a chance to process your request of a solution. If you are very upset: fast walking releases those emotions easier. Most people try calming their mind by taking slow and deliberate steps.
Many use the inward journey to the center as a “letting go” – a quieting of the thoughts, worries, concerns, ‘what ifs’, and to-do lists. Try to keep your mind open, and release thoughts each time they arise. Concentrate on the placement of one foot before the other and rhythmic, gentle and regular breathing.
If the intention of your walk is to solve a problem, walk as if you didn’t have the problem…let it go. Surrender to the activity of attentive walking. Let your burdens fall off your shoulders and allow the various parts of your being to process your wish for a solution. Let it incubate and try not to interfere or direct a solution. Let go of any expectations.
If you’re walking for a spiritual connection or to seek creative inspiration….again, let go of expectations and surrender to the experience of mindful walking.
At the Center:
The rosette in the middle is where you ‘let in’ the answers and blessings that are meant for you. Pause at the center of the labyrinth for as long or short as you like. You may stay here awhile in the posture of your choosing; stand, sit, lay down, do a yoga pose, bow, reach your hands upwards….whatever feels best for you. You may want to say a prayer, reflect, meditate, listen for answers and deeper revelations, or express gratitude depending on the intention of your walk. Take all the time you need as you move through your inner process. Quietly receive what is meant for you.
Walking Outward:
When you are ready, accept what you have received, and begin walking deliberatively outward. Allow the insights and gifts you’ve been given to integrate into your heart and soul. As you move back into your life be empowered by the connection you have received through your body, heart, mind and spirit. Invite it to transform your life and move you along your path to wholeness. Express gratitude for what you have received in the way that feels best to you.
Exiting:
When you exit the labyrinth you may want to continue walking, reflecting and praying, or take time to sit and journal about your experience. Do what you need to absorb the benefits of your experience.
If labyrinth walking interests you, you are invited to experience it with the Wholistic Woman community on Oct 4th when we will take a day trip to Bon Secours Retreat Center. You will have the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, in the way that is best for you. Afterwards, there will be time to explore the grounds and enjoy the Peace Garden and a picnic lunch with this supportive community of women. Click here for details or write to [email protected]
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a speaker and coach who provides Strengths-Based Development Programs for individuals and businesses. She is also the author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. You may contact her at: [email protected]
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