by Carol deLaski | Apr 6, 2016 | Change, Family, Kelye Rouse-Brown, Personal Development, Professional Development, Retreats
Today I feel a sense of fulfillment from completing a trip that I have longed to take over the past few years. I called it my Roots to Boots tour because my family roots are in Oklahoma and I needed my brave boots from Texas to make this particular journey.
Designing the trip was fun, yet filled with uncertainty because I didn’t know how it would unfold. I can’t remember the last time I took two whole weeks off to spend time with my mom’s family members that I haven’t seen in over a decade (and probably only ten times in my entire life).
As I planned the trip, some of the questions I asked myself were:
Will my mom’s side of the family remember me…and embrace this trip as I do?
What surprises will I encounter to make this trip more challenging or complete?
I’m happy to say that these questions were answered positively and that I experienced some pleasant surprises. This trip was bittersweet as I celebrated both the successful three year anniversary of my Texas joint venture and the anniversary of my mom’s passing.
After reflecting on this much anticipated journey, I can truthfully say that I am happier than I was three years ago. I am happier because….
- I’m celebrating a successful business milestone with greater opportunities on the horizon
- I have reconnected with my family in Oklahoma, closing a lengthy ten year gap.
- I brought my mom’s ashes back to her roots, where she started her life and felt complete
- My husband and I made this journey, and celebrated this labor of love, together.
Recognizing and embracing the process of becoming happier is a wonderful, and joyful, benefit of this Roots to Boots trip. Planning this adventure made me uncomfortable at times. However, I realized that I needed to be courageous, and step out into the world, to bring a deeper level of peace and healing into my life. The timing seemed perfect. In hindsight, I see that I not only boosted myself with this trip but (according to my husband) I also boosted my extended family by traveling back to our roots.
I truly believe that happiness boosters are important in life.
What boosts your happiness?
What happiness boosters are you willing to explore to bring needed closure and peace to your life?
Remember that becoming happier is a lifelong pursuit. I encourage you to discover ways to rejuvenate yourself to feel happier.
Do you want to learn more about becoming happier?
Ladies, you’re invited to the Be Happier Evening Retreat where I will be teaching techniques from the book Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar on April 27 at Jo Jo’s Restaurant from 5:30-7:30 pm. Click here for details and to register and reserve your spot. Make a friend happier and invite her to join you!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Mar 1, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development, Professional Development, Retreats
Which words in this quote stand out to you?
The word confidently resonates the most to me. As I read it, I imagine myself striding purposefully towards my personal and professional dreams. I am not lackadaisical or distracted, but rather I envision my head held high, arms swinging beside my body, and eyes focused ahead of me as I steadily move forward. I like this image!
To be honest, though, the poise and assurance of self-confidence can be elusive; sometimes I have it and sometimes I don’t.
Research shows that when we feel confident we are likely to exhibit some of these behaviors:
- We do what we believe is right, even if others mock or criticize us for it.
- We are willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve our goals.
- We admit our mistakes, and learn from them.
- We wait for others to congratulate us on our accomplishments.
- We accept compliments graciously, “Thanks, I really worked hard on that project. I’m pleased that you recognize my efforts.”
By contrast, when we lack confidence we frequently demonstrate these behaviors
- We choose our actions based on what other people think.
- We stay in our comfort zone, fear failure, and avoid taking risks.
- We work hard to cover up mistakes and hope that we can fix a problem before anyone notices it.
- We promote our own virtues as often as possible, to as many people as possible.
- We dismiss compliments offhandedly, “Oh that project was nothing, really, anyone could have done it.”
I’ve come to learn that self-confidence is really a balancing act.
There are 4 steps that each of us can adopt to be more confident.
Step 1: Know who you are. A healthy appreciation of what makes you unique is the foundation for self-confidence. It is important to know your strengths and values, and to be grounded in that which you have control over…namely, yourself.
Step 2: Manage your mental chatter. It is hard to know, love, and accept yourself in a world that encourages us to compare ourselves to others. Marketing companies want us to yearn for the product or service they’re selling; they intend for us to feel incomplete without it. We must guard against the onslaught of messages that imply we are not enough.
In addition, we have more information at our fingertips than ever before. It is easy to take a spectator seat, watching other people’s lives via social media and to compare ourselves to them. We can be drawn into thinking they are more attractive, smarter, luckier, and happier than we are. The truth is that we only see a small slice of the lives of others, and no one really knows another person’s reality. Comparing yourself to others and judging yourself as ‘less than’ is detrimental to knowing and accepting the unique individual that you are.
A sidekick to comparison is negative self-talk. The inner critic can run rampant in most of our minds and we must be intentional not to let it drag us down. Like tuning into a radio station, dial past the static of self-critical thoughts that deflate you, and tune into positive thinking. Managing your mental chatter will free up space, and energy, for step 3.
Step 3: Decide who you want to be. As you practice the first 2 steps of accepting yourself and focusing on the positive, you will be ready to decide how you want to be and what you want to do. What is your vision and dream for your work…and for your life overall? Once you have the vision, create small action steps to move you in the direction of your dream. We are meant to be a work-in-progress, so celebrate each step that you make and use it as a launch pad for the next step on your journey. Evolve into who you are called to be.
Step 4: Know your Team. While you pursue your work and life vision, know that you are not alone. There will be days when lack of confidence will rear its ugly head and you may experience some of the anxious behaviors listed above. Who can you count on to support you when you are fearful? Who will stand with you in the gap formed by self-doubt and remind you that you are still special and loved? Who believes in you even when you struggle to believe in yourself? Perhaps that person will remind you to circle around and begin steps 1 through 4 all over again. By practicing them faithfully and intentionally, you will notice how your confidence flourishes.
Let me know your thoughts on these steps to greater self-confidence by leaving a comment here or emailing me directly.
An invitation for women who want more information on this topic:
You’re invited to join me for the Wholistic Woman ‘Be Confident’ Evening Retreat on March 30th from 5:30-7:30 pm. These evening retreats are open to women in the Frederick area who are interested in personal and professional development in a supportive, fun, and friendly environment. Click here for the workshop description and/or to register.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski (PCC) is a professional certified coach, speaker, and author who specializes in strengths development for businesses and individuals. Her coaching book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith is a springboard to develop inner wisdom and resilience. Visit her website or send an email with your comments or to arrange for a free consultation.
www.Caroldelaski.com | [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 22, 2016 | Laura Hall
Tell me more about the retreat in March!
We’ve been getting this request a lot lately so today’s blog will provide the answer and tell you what you can expect at our 2016 overnight retreat.
This retreat has been designed to be a unique blend of Education, Inspiration and Relaxation. We are super excited about our location this year!!! If you haven’t heard already, this year’s retreat is being held at the beautiful Antrim 1844 Country House Hotel, which is just 15 minutes from historic Gettysburg, PA. This is truly a destination location and some of you may choose to stay a 2nd night. If this is something you are interested in, the staff at Antrim 1844 will be happy to assist you and offer you our group rate. Here is how one of the reviewers on Trip Advisor described Antrim 1844, “One of the best kept secrets in the area. A fabulous bed-and-breakfast location with five-star dining, this little gem in northern Maryland should be on everyone’s bucket list.” We’ve arranged for private rooms at Antrim 1844, but if you are coming with a friend and would like to stay together, that can be accommodated too.
Wholistic Woman Retreats provides personal and professional development opportunities for women-on-the-grow. This year’s overnight retreat is called Strong You because the educational component is based on Dr. Brené Brown’s latest book, Rising Strong. As a researcher, Brené Brown has studied what it takes to pick yourself up after life knocks you down; because the truth is…if we are actively out there living life, then we will fall down from time to time. Some falls feel big… like the death of a loved one, a scary medical diagnosis, or a failed relationship, for example, and some falls may feel small… like when we feel like we’ve been reprimanded by our superior, our teenager tells us we are the worst mother ever, or we just feel like we could be doing better. The Rising Strong process will help you no matter the size of the falls you’ve experienced.
If you are curious about how your time will be spent, here’s what you can expect…
We have a gentle start to the weekend so that you can take your time getting here and transition from your everyday life into retreat mode. You may check into your room at Antrim 1844 anytime after 2 pm on March 4th. Retreat registration starts at 3 pm and continues until 5:45. For those of you who can arrive early you may want to take advantage of some of our ‘settling in’ activities. Some options during this time are to explore the beautiful grounds, have a private session with one of our life coaches, take time to journal and set your intentions for the weekend, or have tea in the drawing room to meet other guests. The choice is yours! If you can’t arrive early, don’t worry! The program will begin after dinner which is at 6 pm and will run to 9:00. We will cap the evening with an optional guided meditation to relax and prepare you for a rejuvenating night’s sleep.
On Saturday, the breakfast buffet runs from 8-8:45 am. If you are an early bird, there will be optional self-care activities beginning at 6:30 am. Maybe you’ll want to join other Wholistic Women for a gentle morning exercise session, or get up early to journal about your takeaways from Friday night, or casually stroll the grounds of Antrim 1844…again, the choice is yours. After breakfast, we will regroup at 9 am for a fun-filled day that will be a combination of education, self-care activities, creative exercises, and reflections. We finish our day with a reception from 5-6 pm to celebrate your insights and growth.
Who is this retreat for?
This retreat is perfect for women (high school aged or older) who value staying connected to themselves as well as being part of a supportive community. It’s for women who are curious about what it takes to get back up after a fall…as well as for women who have already had experiences of Rising Strong at some point in their lives. It’s for the woman who is constantly putting herself at the bottom of the priority list…as well as for the woman who understands that filling her own cup first is what allows her to generously give to others. It is for the woman who feels alone and longs for a place where she belongs…as well as for the woman who already knows she is valued and enough just the way she is. In short, this retreat is for every woman!
We encourage you to join us on March 4th and 5th, 2016 for our ‘Strong You’ Premiere Retreat. You can find more details, including the full schedule, and registration information by clicking here. Remember to share this wonderful opportunity with your friends and consider making it a girls get-away weekend.
Click here to visit the Antrim 1844 website. If you have any questions, email [email protected].
Do you love your life? As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 9, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development, Professional Development, Retreats
“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” ~ Dr. Seuss
These words, by one of my favorite authors, reminds us of our uniqueness. My wish for you this year is to become more fully your Self. May you blend your special gifts, strengths, and experiences, to continue being a ‘one-of-a-kind’ person.
Who do you want to be this year?
What will it take to get there?
What will you need to include, or exclude, to help you move towards that vision?
I have found that using a theme word for the year is a helpful tool to guide my growth. I highly recommend it if you are seeking new perspectives and direction in your work, or life overall.
The three step process outlined in the book One Word to Change Your Life tells us how to receive a word that God, the Universe…or whatever you call that which is bigger than us…intends for our growth. The process is simple, yet important to follow because this is not about picking a good word. It’s about receiving the word uniquely intended for you. The three step process looks like this:
1. Look within. Set aside time to be quiet and ask yourself these questions:
- What do I need? Not what do I want, but what do I truly need?
- What’s in my way? In other words, what’s blocking me?
- What needs to go? What do I need to release in order to move forward?
2. Look up. Prayerfully ask, “What do you (God or the Universe) want to do in me and through me?” Be open and pay attention for the answer. The word that surfaces may not be what you expected. In fact, your mind may reject it but if your heart and soul knows that it is your word, then go with it, even if it doesn’t make sense initially. Try to have an attitude of curiosity about the word you receive.
3. Look out. Live with your word for the entire year. It’s important to stick with it because there will be lessons that will be learned by living with it through easy, as well as challenging times.
My first word was BELIEVE and I found it very easy to identify all that I believed in…faith, love, honesty, kindness…the list went on and on. Midway through the year, however, I started to see my unbelief, those times when I felt weak, vulnerable, and insecure. It was uncomfortable to realize the person I didn’t fully believe in was me. My word helped me recognize how self-doubt limits me at times and I found the antidote in faith. When I feel weak and unable to go on, God provides the people and resources that I need. I learned that the more I look for that provision the more I see it, again and again.
The next year my word was FOUND. This word helped me identify the actions, solutions, thoughts, and approaches that serve me best, and to release those that do not. I learned how to more consistently rely on what I have found to be true. I trust my intuition more, spend less time comparing myself to others and feeling lost. I know where the source of my inner strength lies and encourage others to find their own resilience through strengths coaching and my book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. FOUND was a very relevant word for me in 2014.
In 2015 my word was HEAR. Initially I thought this word was unusual. Nonetheless, I went with it and learned to pay attention to the messages that I allow myself to hear from others…and from my own self-talk. I started to consciously block harmful or negative messages and tried to open my ears to listen for positive, divine, messages. Interestingly, I heard many of those messages from family, friends, clients, and other people who may or may not have known they were a conduit…giving me exactly what I needed to hear on any given day.
After spending a year with each of my words I realize that they become a part of me. I’ve developed a habit of using them to gain perspective and a sense of direction which continues long after the year is over. Each word has been a blessing.
As 2016 begins, I am again going through the process to discover a new theme word. I invite you to join me.
If you’d like to learn more about the One Word Process you can find it in the book One Word to Change Your Life by Gordon, Britton, and Page. Once you’ve received your Word, be sure to share it with others to form a Stretch Team that will help you stay on track throughout the year.
Would you like to be part of our Stretch Team?
If so, I warmly invite you to join the Wholistic Woman ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat on January 27th from 5:30-7:30 pm. This will be the kickoff for a series of ‘Be You’ Evening Retreats in 2016. During this Launch Party you will learn about the One Word process and hear stories of it’s positive impact on other individuals. If you already have a Word for 2016 be sure to bring it with you…or bring whatever words you may be considering…or just come and learn more about it.
At the Launch Party you will also learn about the evening retreat line-up for 2016. You’re invited to join us for all 8 of these evening retreats to learn, grow, and stay connected with your One Word Stretch Team.
Now is the time to become a member of the Wholistic Woman Community to receive discounts on all our events. Click here to see details about the ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat Package or register for just the Launch Party. Come to one…or all eight! When you register for the entire series you will receive a $40 savings (events are transferable…so you can give them away if you find that you can’t make some dates)! Join us in the way that feels right to you.
Remember, in this community of women-on-the-grow you are accepted for who you are while at the same time provided with tools and strategies to be more fully you!
Each of us is a work-in-progress. The Wholistic Coaches and I are honored to support you in becoming your best in this fresh new year full of limitless possibilities.
In closing, I share the quote by Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.”
May this be a great year to Be You!
Warmly, Carol
Carol deLaski, PCC, is an author and strengths-based coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Dec 17, 2015 | Holidays, Kelye Rouse-Brown
I love the holidays. I love the connection and spirit that surrounds us throughout the month of December. I’ve often thought that the magic of Christmas, or any holiday you celebrate, is a reflection of who you are in each season of the year.
We each have holiday traditions that have special meaning for us. When I was little we always opened a gift or two on Christmas Eve…which was my mother’s favorite day of the year and has become mine as well.
Over the years, for me, the holiday spirit has shifted from getting presents to giving them. I pause more often as I decorate the tree and remember details about each ornament. I decorate the house one day at a time instead of rushing through the process. When I send holiday cards I connect with some people that I have not been in touch with in 365 days.
I notice that many people feel rushed during the holidays and overwhelmed. In fact, a close friend of mine is offering a service especially designed to help those individuals. In the past few years I like to slow down, take it all in, and savor this delicious time of the year. Sometimes I feel a little like Mrs. Claus spreading the joy…and sometimes toys!
Here are my favorite ways to savor the joy of the holiday and keep spirits bright:
• Turn on the twinkly lights in the house during the day and night
• Wear festive sparkly clothes, dress up my pugs, and have an open house
• Plan lunch or dinner with close friends to celebrate
• Reconnect with friends and family through cards and family photos
• Play holiday music in my house and car and sing out loud
• Keep traditions alive and make new ones every year; like baking cookies or mixing nuts
• Watch at least three holiday movies – my favorites are The Holiday, Love Actually, and The Family Stone…as well as the classics too!
Watching the movie Family Stone recently sparked my interest to reflect on special moments. It inspired me to go through old pictures and I framed one of my mother and brother when he was just 10 days old. I plan to give it to him for Christmas. I know he will be touched by this gift of a reminder of our mother. The gift of memories is precious, indeed.
The holidays are not a one size fits all…no two are exactly the same.
What keeps your spirits bright over the holidays?
What traditions do you have?
How do you savor your holiday?
I hope you will embrace the surprises of the season and enjoy creating new memories that you might frame in the future.
Wholistic Woman Retreats sends you bright light and love this holiday season.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate are what help her clients develop, spark action and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Dec 10, 2015 | Fitness, Holidays, Sandie Lynch
The holidays are officially here with Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas music on the radio. I love this time of year and the opportunity to connect with friends and loved ones! There are more parties and celebrations with tons of good and delicious food.
The only problem is that with all this great food, there is the temptation to over eat and indulge. If you are like me, over indulgence may leave you feeling sluggish and not feeling your best. There may also be the concern with all the delicious food, the fear of putting on a few extra pounds contributing to feeling less than your best. The good news is that recent research shows that most people only gain a pound over the holidays. In years past, that number was more like a 5 to 8 pounds gained once January was here, so, we are either getting better about controlling our indulgence or what we eat at the holidays is not that different then what we eat normally.
Either way, for me the main focus is to move through the holidays feeling my best and experiencing more bliss with love, peace, joy and little stress. If this is important to you as well, here are a few strategies that I have used when attending holiday parties to avoid over indulgence that will leave you feeling less than your best
- Don’t obsess about it. When our mind is trying not to do something, it causes us to do the very thing we don’t want. For example, if I say, don’t think about the color red. Well, there we are trying to think about every color but red, but it is still obsessed with the color red. Same with food, when we try to “avoid” something, we obsess about it until we give in and usually over eat the very thing we are avoiding. So have a little and move on to eating something healthy. This is called intuitive eating.
- Eat a small meal before a party. There are usually a ton of choices at a party and most likely we want to try it all, so even taking very small bites can really add up the calories. When we go to a party hungry, we often take larger portion sizes than we need and end up over eating. Especially, if raised being conditioned to “clean” our plates. But when we are nutritionally satisfied, we are in greater control of portion sizes and better with cues to stop. Another strategy is to leave a little food on your plate, so your host does not feel the need to offer you more.
- Balance rich foods with something healthy. There are usually plenty of decadent desserts available at holiday parties. Try to take a smaller portion than normal by connecting with someone to share. Then before you give in to your mind screaming for more, balance it out with some fresh fruits and vegetables. Fresh fruits and vegetables are packed with water, fiber, and nutrients which will not only add beneficial nutrients but will help wash away the taste that causes your mouth to be hungry for more. The fresh fruits and vegetables will also help fill you up and keep your intake with fewer calories.
- Drink water instead of your calories. Many holiday beverages are packed with calories, sugar and fat! Some popular favorites; Eggnog = 390 calories for 1 cup, Hot cocoa = 320 calories for 12 oz, a better option is a glass of wine = 125 – 150 calories. If you want to have a beverage and keep the calories to a minimum, “double fist” it. One hand has a glass of wine and the other holds your water; for every sip of wine you take, then take a drink of water. This also keeps your hands busy from grabbing extra food you may not need. Another idea is to mix the wine with sparkling or carbonated water for a spritzer. Water is always a great idea. It keeps you hydrated and keeps your digestive system moving which can become slow when eating rich foods.
- Keep moving for more muscle! Often during the holidays, our normal exercise regimen goes out the window. As the schedule gets hectic, the last thing you want to give up is movement. Not only does this help keep the stress hormones lower, but it keeps your muscles engaged to burn the extra calories. Even if you do over eat and gain weight, when challenging the muscles you may gain more muscle instead of fat. If so, this will aid in losing the weight faster when the eating patterns go back to normal. When we have more muscle or lean body mass, the body is more efficient in using our calories for energy instead of storing them somewhere we don’t want.
- Get plenty of rest: Rest is essential to keep our stress low, our hunger in check, and our mood more positive, exactly what we all need during the hectic pace during the holidays. Therefore, set your day up for success by planning what time you need to be in bed to wake up refreshed, renewed, and ready to make your holiday everything you want!
May you be blessed with love, joy, and peace this Holiday Season! Be Well, and Be Whole!
Would love to hear your tips for breezing through the holidays with ease!
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
Check out ATP Fitness to “Maximize” your 2016. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life! Contact Sandie via email at [email protected]
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