The Connection Between Happiness and Success

The Connection Between Happiness and Success

Does this sound familiar?….once I lose 15 pounds, I’ll be happy, or once I get a new job, or a new relationship, I’ll finally be happy? I think it’s human nature to think that there is a goal that we need to reach before we can allow ourselves to be truly happy. The issue with that is if we are constantly growing, there is always a new goal to reach. So that way of thinking is an endless cycle and we’re constantly postponing our happiness. That doesn’t sound like a fun way to live.

In his book The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor suggests that success does not lead to happiness. Rather, happiness leads to success.  Think about that for a moment, doesn’t that feel empowering and inspiring? Imagine if you become more focused on seeking happiness, and then see those out-of-reach goals become more easily attainable. I love that formula. That led me to think about how I can personally be more intentional every day about embracing happiness. In his book, Achor outlines several principles that he believes will help us overcome obstacles, reverse bad habits, become more efficient and productive, make the most of opportunities, conquer our most ambitious goals, and fulfill our potential.

I recognized that I have been utilizing several of his strategies like meditation, affirmations, movement, and humor just to name a few. Achor also suggested strategies that I was not as consciously tapping into such as planning something to look forward to, conscious acts of kindness, and exercising a signature strength. The book does a great job of explaining how the strategies impact our brains and ultimately enhance our productivity, creativity, and achievement. The principles in this book reinforce topics that many of our Wholistic Woman Retreats + Academy coaches have shared with our members this year. It’s based on research from the positive psychology field, neuroscience, and Achor, a former Harvard lecturer and researcher who has appeared on one of my favorite shows, Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday series.

On Wednesday evening, July 28, we’ll have a virtual book club meeting to discuss Achor’s book, The Happiness Advantage. I hope to see you there, and hear how it has impacted you!

Gratitude: Keep it Simple and Specific

Gratitude: Keep it Simple and Specific

If I had to make a guess, I would say that November is probably the most likely month in which most people think about all the things for which they are grateful.  And, it’s probably no surprise that this is my guess because we have a national holiday that is dedicated to the idea of giving thanks.

I can definitely attest to the power of gratitude in my own life.  I’ve kept gratitude journals, or daily lists of the top three things I am grateful for, for years. I’m sure many of you have probably done the same.  I think that the coolest impact of gratitude is that I can honestly say I feel a shift mentally when I stop to focus on what is good at any particular moment, rather than the negative circumstances in front of me. Gratitude seems to direct my brain to shift attention away from things like exhaustion, frustration or other overwhelming thoughts and replace those things with hope and renewed energy.

Recently, I saw a fun You Tube video by Marie Forleo that offered a new perspective on gratitude that I have been trying out. I really like it so I wanted to share it with you.

Marie talked about a study that was done at USC with three groups of people.    Group one wrote down a list of five things that they were grateful for each day.  Group two wrote down just one thing that they were grateful for each day and wrote down five specific reasons for that gratitude.  Group three just wrote down how much better they were at things than others.  The study shares that the group that focused specifically on one thing that they were grateful for, rather than a long list, and also wrote down 5 specific reasons why they were thankful for that thing, benefited more than the other two groups on several measures related to well-being.

So, I tried it and here is one of my examples.

One thing I am grateful for: I am grateful for the Wholistic Woman Retreats  (WWR) Community.

And, 5 specific reasons for my gratitude for this group are:

  1. WWR gives me an opportunity to get to know some really great women I may not have ever found otherwise.
  2. WWR helps me to keep personal growth front and center in my life, by attending a variety of interesting events that the group hosts.
  3. WWR provides an opportunity to be part of a fun WWR virtual book club that enhances my feeling of community and opens me up to different perspectives and insights.
  4. WWR allows me to be supported by a group of like-minded women who are on a similar path of self-care and self-discovery.
  5. As a partner coach, WWR provides me with a unique opportunity to share my coaching brand with other women on a their own life journey.

After using this technique for a bit, I found that this method of listing just one thing a day with 5 very specific reasons for the gratitude really caused me to embrace the gratitude more fully and it made the process feel less like a laundry list and more like a sincere thank you note!

So, here’s my challenge to you!  Buy a pretty notepad, or create a list on your phone where you can write down just one simple thing that you are grateful for each day.  Don’t overthink it!  Write down the first thing that comes to your mind,  it can be something small.  It might be the unconditional love of your furry four legged friend, the fun adventure of shopping at Trader Joe’s instead of a traditional grocery store, or the thrill of traveling to a new city.  Whatever it is, keep it simple (just one thing a day) and specific (five detailed reasons why you feel that gratitude) and see how this tweak to your regular gratitude practice could have a lasting impact on your energy and sense of joy!

I’d like to invite you to try it for a few weeks, and then let me know how it worked for you when you join me at the Wholistic Woman Retreats Annual Gratitude Brunch, on Sunday Nov. 17.  You can check out our website for more details.  And if you have not become of WWR member yet, please consider a 2020 membership, which will make you eligible to join us at this wonderful members only event as well as provide discounts on all other events throughout 2020.  I hope to see you there and hear how this new gratitude practice might be working for you!   I am grateful for each of you for reading this blog and wish you an autumnal season full of wonderful things for which to be grateful!

Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell.  Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

Declutter Your Life!

Declutter Your Life!

I’ve been on a bit of a personal quest to find ways to increase my energy and focus this year.  I’ve gotten on a better track with exercising and eating healthier foods.  I’ve started taking yoga classes at least once a week. I’ve tried to be more intentional about scheduling some downtime so I could recharge.  And, I’ve been reading some great books like Micro-Resilience, by Bonnie St. John and Allen P. Haines.  And then as a follow-up,  hosted a virtual book club to engage with several of you in a conversation about how the book’s numerous strategies could be put into practice in our everyday life.  All of these strategies combined have really served to elevate my personal energy and focus!

Recently,  I spent the better part of a weekend decluttering my home. And, unexpectedly realized that the decluttering process itself also brought with it a huge focus and energy boost for me.  My home isn’t messy but it seems that when I get busy, my house sometimes looks like it could use a little organization love.  And the change of the seasons always feels like an especially good time to figure out what needs to go and what needs to stay in closets and drawers, etc.  As I got more organized, my focus and energy also increased, making me feel happier overall.  Releasing that clutter, even though it was not an overwhelming amount, really brought such a sense of peacefulness to my life.  I am no longer trying to get something done while also being distracted by a pile of paperwork on the side of a desk, wondering what all is in there!  I bet some of you may be able to relate to that feeling of being distracted by uncompleted projects sabotaging the things you really need to focus on right now.

As I decluttered, I thought about how this process of decluttering can be applied to my whole life, not just my physical surroundings.  Perhaps I could “declutter” my thoughts, my words, my relationships, my schedule – you get the idea!   I like to look at my life as as a design project, the same way an interior designer views a renovation project with a client.  And, just as it’s usually not practical to renovate your entire home at one time, it’s also not reasonable to think we could declutter our whole life overnight.  Here are a few observations I made about decluttering my physical surroundings.  I believe that the same thoughts can be applied to decluttering one’s whole life.

Make sure that you are ready to dive into the process so you can give it the time and energy it needs.

Decluttering takes time, but it always feels worth it to me when I see the end result.

Start decluttering with clear intention.

Before I started decluttering in my home, I walked around from room to room and decided where my focus was needed.   I set clear intentions of what I was going to tackle first, and when, and then gave that my full attention to that, even though other areas were also crying out for some help as well.

Be willing to make some tough choices.

I probably have a few things in my home, whether it’s clothing or something else, that probably does not really serve me well any longer. And, yet, year after year, I continue to hold onto it.  Sometimes keeping it is just a habit.  Many of those things, I decided to donate,  so someone else could benefit from them more.

Celebrate the small successes rather than focus on all that still needs to be done.

I told myself I was going to celebrate each small step of progress in each room, rather than allow myself to get distracted or frustrated by the work that still needed to be done.

Put some new practices in place to support the newly organized space.

Once I felt satisfied with the decluttering process, I decided I needed to revise some of my day-to-day habits to ensure that I could keep those areas decluttered with minimal upkeep.

If you are also in the fall clean out mode, perhaps you may want to give some thought to whether there could be areas of your life, other than your physical surroundings, that could benefit from some decluttering.   Here’s to more focus, energy, and the true sense of calm that comes from the process!

Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell.  Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

Virtual Book Clubs…A Fun Way to Experience Meaningful Connections

Virtual Book Clubs…A Fun Way to Experience Meaningful Connections

We’re always hearing about the benefits of exercise, hydration, and healthy eating.  I think we can all agree that these are some of the key ingredients in a healthy life.  I also believe that fun and meaningful connections are key ingredients as well.  They are food for the soul and help us lead our best lives.

When life gets busy, finding time for fun and meaningful connections become even more important.  These are not optional ingredients… they are key ingredients! When we don’t have enough, we can feel sad, lonely, overwhelmed and isolated.  Sometimes it’s the small pleasures that keep moving us forward each day.

Being part of a book club is one of those small pleasures for me.  I love to read and enjoy it, even more, when I can share the joy of a well written, insightful book with others who have also read it.  It’s like a delicious meal or a really amazing movie – they’re always better enjoyed with others!

I especially like to read non-fiction personal growth books.  The non-fiction book clubs that I’ve been a part of have helped hold me accountable for putting what I’ve read into action.  I also really enjoy gaining insights from what the other book club members have to say.  Different perspectives are always enlightening.

I’ve recently discovered the benefits of virtual book clubs.  These are groups that meet through technology instead of in person.  A VIRTUAL book club  is a great option when life is busy or geography is an issue – you can join your book club Zoom call easily and from anywhere at all, including your vacation, with your comfy clothes on, sipping a cool drink on your deck, make-up off, and hair pulled up in a ponytail, if you’d like!  All you have to do is connect on your laptop or your phone and you have an instant book club community! That definitely meets my criteria of a small pleasure!

#1 HAVE SOME FUN!… It’s always enjoyable to get together in a casual setting and talk about a great book!

#2  GAIN NEW INSIGHTS… Book clubs expand your personal views and allow you to gain new insights that you may not have considered on your own.

#3 COMMUNITY AND CONNECTION… Book clubs offer you an opportunity to connect and get to know other women better in your community and beyond

#4  ACCOUNTABILITY… I often buy books that I don’t get around to reading as quickly as I would like.  A book club can create some accountability to finally read the whole book!

Sound like something you would enjoy?  Then you are in luck!

I am excited to announce that Kettell Coaching will be partnering with Wholistic Woman Retreats to launch a Summer Virtual Book Club, beginning Monday, July 29 based on the book, Micro-Resilience by Bonnie St. John and Allen P. Haines.  

Click here for details and registration information

Here’s to a summer of fun, meaningful connections, and simple pleasures!

Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell.  Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

 

Be Resilient – A Life Design Accessory

Be Resilient – A Life Design Accessory

Do you ever wake up and plan to accomplish a lot, only to find yourself completely exhausted midway through the day?  Some days feel like we are in the midst of a whirlwind and I am sure I am not the only one that feels that I could dial up the healthy choices when those days occur.  For me, that usually means that I need to get on a track that feels more balanced and calmer.  At those times, we often think about improving our nutrition or carving out more time for an exercise routine, which are great ideas and bring a long term payoff.

However, have you ever considered a resilience makeover?  What do I mean by that?  When I think of the word resilience, I think about the ability to bounce back from all that life throws at us.  What’s a makeover?  Well, have you ever had a makeover of a room in your home?  It might involve hanging a beautiful new picture, or just simply rearranging your furniture.  The purpose of any kind of makeover is to refresh and bring you a new sense of joy… A resilience makeover is similar to a makeover in one of the rooms of your home.  The room is probably fairly functional as it is, but it could use some new life breathed into it!   Typically a makeover doesn’t have to take much time or money but quickly changes the way you feel about that room.

The same could be true with a resilience makeover.  We can redesign our lives the same way we redesign our homes.  And, resilience is what I like to refer to as a life accessory.  Just like great artwork or fun throw pillows are accessories in a room of your home, resilience is an accessory that makes life easier, more fulfilling, and joyful.  And, I think we are all always on the search for anything that brings those things our way!

You may already feel that you are a pretty resilient person. Perhaps you have been through a tough health scare, the death of a loved one, issues surrounding your children, marriage, or job that have caused you to be tested and stretched.  And, perhaps you have come through those very difficult situations, rising about the challenges to return back to normal again.  That is the traditional definition of resilience.  Webster defines resilience as the “ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”.  Think of someone you know who is really resilient, and my guess is that you will think of someone who has gracefully come through an experience that has been fairly life-changing.

I’ve always considered myself to be a resilient person.  My friend Patrice once told me that she admires that I don’t get stuck in the muck.  That was her way of saying that she feels that I don’t tend to allow life’s challenges to make me feel stuck for too long.  However, after reading Bonnie St. James’ and Allen P. Haines’ book, Micro-Resilience, I came to realize that resilience is a muscle we can build every moment of every day, not just in times of life’s greatest challenges.  In fact, the word “micro” refers to small changes, small shifts in our behavior.   And, the book proposes that even very small changes can make a huge difference in one’s focus and energy throughout each day.

If you are like me, there are days that I just don’t feel that I am effectively focusing on the things I want to get done, or lack the energy to do all the things on that to do list.  In fact, some days, I start out feeling motivated and then something happens that takes the wind out of my sails, and it’s challenging to get that ball rolling again.  Sound familiar at all?  The concept of micro-resilience addresses this exact issue.

Micro-resilience strategies are easy techniques that can assist you in recovering more quickly from the seemingly small challenges that inevitably come our way throughout each day.  Daily small challenges may seem insignificant individually, like a dishwasher that breaks unexpectedly, or the frustration of sitting in traffic as you barely make your appointment on time. However these small things can add up over the day causing us to feel completely exhausted, asking ourselves, why am I so tired right now? It’s just a  “normal” day today.

If this sounds familiar, you may find yourself ready to tackle a resilience makeover!  On Wednesday, May 29th, I’ll be facilitating our Be Resilient event.  I’ll be sharing several quick, practical science-based strategies which, when used, can immediately combat the daily energy drains that zap your energy and leave you feeling exhausted.   We’ll discuss strategies to avoid mental exhaustion, and increase your brain’s effectiveness, including the use of laser focus rather than multitasking.  We’ll talk about tips to combat worry and anxiety, and techniques for embracing more positivity.  We’ll talk about ways to refuel and refresh your body for peak performance, and we’ll touch on renewing your spirit by tapping into your purpose and a state of “flow”, a concept made popular by author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his book entitled, Flow.

I have been trying out many of the 21 different strategies outlined in the book Micro-Resilience over this past year and can tell you confidently, that they are improving my ability to tap into a high level of energy and focus each day.  Each day gives me new opportunities to fine tune my new approaches, and I have been enjoying the journey. I look forward to sharing more about these powerful strategies with you on Wednesday, May 29 so you might begin a resilience makeover of your own!

Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell.  Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).