by Carol deLaski | Apr 16, 2014 | Carol deLaski
What helps you to get through the daily challenges of life?
Where do you find the inner strength to manage the hurdles that frequently occur?
The wisdom that people share when I speak on this topic never ceases to inspire me. Together we explore and discover ways to navigate both the large and small adversities that quite naturally come with living.
At the recent ‘Be Strong’ Wholistic Woman Retreat, I was reminded once again of the collective wisdom that can be found in a group of individuals. The Retreat was also the soft launch of the first book I authored; Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. That day, fifty women enjoyed the beautiful surroundings of rustic yet comfortable ThorpeWood in the Catoctin Mountains. The wooden floor and high beamed ceilings of the lodge were made contiguous by tall windows that allowed the light to stream in as well as affording us a view of the surrounding woodlands. It felt as if the trees encircling the lodge were holding this special place and day, in a supportive embrace as the women there relaxed, talked, laughed, and sometimes cried together.
The questions we pondered were how to find inner strength through love and our beliefs. Great discussions occurred in which we identified what we put our faith in and how we learn to accept and love ourselves better.
In the book I tell my story of searching for love outside of myself for many years as I looked to others to fill the longings in my heart. After a surprisingly insightful trip to Europe in 2010, I learned that the most important relationship of all is with my Self. I don’t mean this in a self-centered or narcissistic way, but rather in a self- caring way. To embrace this concept fully I needed to overcome the false belief that caring for me is selfish. I replaced it with a belief that it’s my responsibility to accept, care for, and love who I am. The more I am able to accept all of myself, both my strengths and imperfections, the more I am able to accept others completely for who they are. This perspective helps me acknowledge that we are all on a lifelong journey towards actualizing our full potential.
What keeps us from accepting and loving who we are? In a world that often tells us to be more and do more it can be difficult to relax and trust that we are enough just the way we are. Understanding how to love and care for ourselves is a journey towards wholeness that is personal and moves at an individual pace.
Love becomes a source of strength when we cultivate habits of self-care. There are many opportunities for us to take care of our bodies, hearts, minds, and spirits….and only you know which ones are right for you. In some ways life is like an experiment and as we try out new self-care habits, we must observe the impact they have on us and decide if we want to make any adjustments based on what we observe.
The most important habit I have found and adopted is to ask myself frequently what do I need?
My ability to answer that question at any given moment is determined by how self-aware I am. Am I tuned into my physical being and aware of my need for nourishment, movement, touch, or rest? Am I aware of my mental state and whether I need to increase or reduce my thought processes?
Am I aware of the needs of my heart for loving connections with others; or of my spirit’s need to connect with something bigger than me….the source of creation and unconditional love?
As a self-aware person I feel all my emotions; both positive and negative. I stop avoiding the uncomfortable or challenging feelings and participate in the dance that I do between doubt and fear and trust and faith.
When you feel uncomfortable in which direction do you turn? Do you allow self- critical thoughts and emotions to run rampant and take you down a fretful path? Or do you choose to rely on your belief in something bigger than yourself; perhaps energy that while unseen is still very real to you and a potential source of love and compassion?
Discovering and developing your inner strength through love and faith is a lifelong journey. As a professional coach and author I offer my own story as a springboard for others to explore their stories. Reflection questions are designed to guide the reader to further develop their own inner strength.
I like to think of our lives as a breathing jigsaw puzzle and the pieces are being formed by our individual experiences and choices. On any given day the elements of humor, loving relationships with others, purposeful self- care and a personal connection with the Higher Being of our understanding, develops the beautiful picture that is our lives. I hope you choose wisely today.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an author, speaker, and coach. Learn more about Carol and how to get a copy of her new book at www.caroldelaski.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Mar 26, 2014 | Confidence, Retreats, Sandie Lynch
Find Strength in Connections
To Self, A Higher Being, and Others in Love and Faith
Love was definitely in the air at our recent “Be Strong” Wholistic Woman Retreat with Mountain Memories at ThorpeWood in Thurmont, Maryland.
Fifty-two women convened in a beautiful mountain lodge for the soft launch of Coach Carol deLaski’s first book, Lost and Found. The day’s events centered on discussions on how to find inner strength through love and faith.
Coach Carol started the day by giving everyone a complimentary copy of her book and explained that her book was not just about her journey to inner strength, but was written to encourage every reader to discover his/her own inner strength through self exploration of love and faith with the help of the coaching questions found at the end of each chapter.
The morning breakout on Discovering Love was facilitated by Coach Carol and Coach Sandie Lynch. The discussions explored how false beliefs can get in the way of finding true love and keep us small in the world. So many of us believe it is selfish or wrong to focus on ourselves for self-care, but the truth is that only through self-care can we become strong enough to care and love those around us fully and completely without resentment. Activities demonstrated how to listen to the inner voices from the heart, mind, body, and spirit which call us to take better care of ourselves, and how to shift negative energy to positive by changing our thoughts, words, body position, and movement. It was explained how the body is designed to give us inner strength when it is properly nourished with self-care, including simple activities like laughter and embracing someone, which releases oxytocin, the “love” hormone, that makes us more resilient to stress. The breakout ended with everyone sharing the love they found through the power of moving to music and releasing the “love hormone” as they reached out and embraced their neighbor.
Lunch expanded on the concept of the importance of self-care with a delicious healthy lunch catered by Canapes and a hilarious skit presented by Coach Kelye Rouse-Brown, affiliate Coach Pat Herber, Wholistic members Linda Brennan and Kim Klemencic in which they became fictitious honorary wholistic women, “Missy” and “Flow.” Coach Sandie facilitated the skit as she and the rest of the retreat participants encouraged Missy and Flow to try various self-care ideas (watch on the Wholistic Woman Retreats Youtube channel)
The afternoon breakout facilitated by Coach Carol and Coach Laura Hall started with a “Faith Walk” as participants were trusting a partner to guide them through an obstacle course. This continued the journey of finding inner strength by questioning faith in a higher power and how it guides us through life. What some call coincidence, is really divine intervention guiding us to where we are destined to be and learn what we need to learn. Each participant was encouraged to question what they believe in and where they find faith, finding their truth for themselves.
The closing message was delivered by Kath Schnorr as she shared the source of her inner strength through devastating life challenges of delivering, raising, and loving a child with Down Syndrome and losing everything she owned in the Colorado fires last year but realizing everything she needed she still had. She now is recognized as a pillar of strength by her community as she leads other women to find their strength through group support called “Women with Roots.” Recognizing we all have roots, the key is where we are planted.
The retreat finished with a joyous social with more great food by Canapes, wine, and lots of hugs, as women finally departed taking with them a greater understanding of how to find inner strength though love and faith thanks to Coach Carol’s inspiring book and the contributions of the other Wholistic coaches.
In summary, it was a fabulous day and the glow continues as I reflect on the day’s events and connections. The day taught us our inner strength grows and glows as we discover and connect with “roots” to our source of love and faith; and experience this love, peace and joy as it flows to self, our higher power, and finally to others in our lives.
Look inside and discover where the inner voice is calling you and experience the love, joy and peace available as you grow your inner strength.
Get connected with the Wholistic Woman Retreats community and coaches and discover what is waiting for you.
Upcoming events are ATP Fitness where Coach Sandie teaches how to shift energy for motivation and results starting March 31st, Breakfast Workshops with Coach Carol, and many other events to help you discover your best self.
Today’s author: Coach Sandie Lynch, MS, RDN, LDN. Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Well-being Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC where she teaches 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in life at any age.
Save
by Carol deLaski | Mar 19, 2014 | Guest Blogging
I like to plan things out and feel in control of any situation. I want to know what is going to happen, when, and to have at least a reasonable idea of the outcome. I love systems and processes – how to get from point A to point B the most efficiently, whether it is a project for work or while driving to a destination. I sometimes struggle with being able to relax, or enjoying the inevitable detours that are a part of life. I am oftentimes so focused on trying to control the outcome that I don’t see the beauty of the journey.
When my late husband, Sam and I took family trips with our three daughters, we liked to drive to our destination whenever possible. For these trips, I planned not only where we were going but how long it would take to get there, what stops we are going to make along the way, and other necessary (to my mind) criteria. This was especially true on a couple of cross-country camping trips we took to some of the Midwest National Parks when our girls were teenagers. For each trip, I planned out how long it would take to drive to and between parks, how long we would be at each one, and what was the optimal time to leave in order to get to the next one to take advantage of the most time at the park. And although that sounds rigid and doesn’t leave a lot of room for spontaneity, this planning allowed our family to see a good portion of this beautiful country and many of the amazing National Parks. To balance out the rigidity in our driving schedule, I didn’t plan our time within the parks, preferring to let the girls determine what they wanted to do at each one. Each park was a different experience, and we enjoyed taking in as much as possible.
But as soon as we got back in the car, out came my map, watch and schedule. I would tell Sam where we were off to next, which roads to take and how long it would be to get where we were going. But Sam was a lot more spontaneous than I was, and I was never sure when he was going to take us on one of his infamous detours that completely messed up my carefully planned schedule. One instance sticks out in my mind, as a reminder that sometimes it is OK to change direction or your path for something unknown, just for the pure enjoyment of the experience. We were in Yellowstone and decided to take the scenic Beartooth highway over the Beartooth mountain range from Wyoming into Montana. It was going to be a full day’s trip and I was ready – I knew exactly where we were going, how long it was going to take to get there and back again and how much time we had to spare for shopping in Red Lodge, Montana. But as was typical, Sam had other plans. Part of the way up Beartooth, he saw a sign for a fire tower and the dirt road that led to it, and . . . he was off. And I was freaking out. Not so much because it messed with my plans – truth be told, I was used to it and stopped fussing about it long ago. What I was afraid of was the fact that we were taking a minivan up a steep mountain on a narrow, windy, switchback road full of potholes. I thought for sure that even if by some miracle we made it to the top, we would surely never make it down. But away we went anyway. The road was just as treacherous as I had anticipated, and the higher we went, the more anxious I became. All I could see was the fear of the unknown.
When we got to the top, all of my fears melted away. It was absolutely breathtaking. As we climbed to the top of the tower, a ranger that talked to us about the history of the area; and the view from the top took your breath away. It was a once in a lifetime experience that the girls and I will never forget, and best exemplified Sam’s spontaneity in life and his ability to embrace each event with enthusiasm. It is a constant reminder to me that although having a plan is good, it is just as important to allow for flexibility. And even more importantly, being able to enjoy the journey, including its inevitable detours. As Robert Frost writes in his famous poem, “I took the (road) less traveled by, And that has made all the difference”. Don’t be afraid to take the road less traveled and see where it takes you – and enjoy the scenery along the way.
Today’s author: Karen Smith Racicot, CPC is a certified professional coach and motivational speaker assisting women to help them create success through focus and business profits through efficiencies. She specializes in helping women create organization and structure in their business and/or their personal lives, which allows them the opportunity to create and focus on the life they want to live. She can be reached at www.E3Coaching-md.com or by phone at 240-415-3706
Save
by Carol deLaski | Mar 12, 2014 | Laura Hall, Personal Development
If you are a regular follower of Wholistic Woman Retreats, then you know we are all agog over here about our upcoming retreat based on Carol deLaski’s new book, “Lost and Found”. As I’ve been doing my part in preparing for this event, the question that keeps popping up in my head is, “What do I still hope to find in my life?”.
The answer is that I hope to find ME.
I believe that finding myself is one of my purposes in life. Maybe my only purpose (I’m not sure about this yet). But here is the tricky part….I also believe that I’m meant to evolve. So how do I find something that is constantly changing? Hmm…maybe finding myself is about living in the question of, “Who am I?”. Who am I today, right now. What layers of my former ME am I ready to shed so that I can discover the ME of right now. What thoughts are no longer serving the ME of today? What is no longer true for ME?
So I guess that what I am coming to is that finding myself is going to be an ongoing process. It’s going to be a journey, not a destination. Finding ME is going to be something that I work on on a daily basis. It will forever be the answer to the question, what do I still hope to find? And you know what? I am OK with that! I accept that I am a work in progress. Always.
Now it’s your turn! How would you answer the question, “What do you still hope to find?” We’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
Save
by Carol deLaski | Mar 5, 2014 | Guest Blogging
Have you experienced a life-changing event? A difficult or challenging experience that changed your life, as you knew it? I have…several times. The latest was last summer when we lost our home in the Black Forest wildfire in Colorado.
Each of us has our own way to cope during these challenging times. We do the best we can based on the circumstances. You might think you cannot handle the difficult situation that is happening. We seem to give ourselves little credit. As Winnie the Pooh says, “You are stronger than you think.” We don’t know until it happens and you just might surprise yourself.
That is what happened to me.
I posted the following on Facebook the first night of the fire: “We lost our house and all our possessions today. Something I never imagined or expected to post on Facebook. And we still have everything that is important and that matters…family, friends, and love. I’m sure I will need to be reminded of this from time to time in the months ahead. A new beginning and adventure begins. I am grateful for all I have. Blessings to all.”
I remember the feeling as if it was just yesterday. Having lost everything, it became crystal clear what was important – my family, my husband and my kids. We were all safe. Everything else was just stuff. And even though we had a lot of stuff that was gone in that moment it did not matter.
The coping strategies we use vary; from shutting down so we can get by, to wanting to blame someone for what happened, to allowing our self to feel what is happening and learn from the experience. Many of us need to understand what happened. Sometimes some things just don’t make sense. Life happens. Loss happens.
During a challenging time it is our choice how we let the situation impact us. Even in the midst of life’s many storms we have the capacity to stand in the center of our peace. Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. To keep your inner peace, turn inward.
That is what I did. I used the following techniques to stay connected to my center, to my inner peace…not all the time…but most of the time.
Allow Yourself to Feel Your feelings: Allow yourself to feel, to go with your emotions as they come up in the moment (the sadness of loss and the joy of blessings). Don’t resist them or stuff them down. One day driving to our rental home around 5:00 pm I noticed how the sunlight was reflecting through the trees. I burst into tears. I love the light this time of evening and most of the trees on our property had burned.
Take Quiet Time: Spend time to process; enjoy a hot bath or a hot cup of tea, write in a journal, take a walk in nature, meditate or spend time with friends. What ever works for you. Listen to your inner knowing for what you need. Honor yourself.
Don’t apologize: for your feelings or anything else. Initially I cried whenever I talked about the fire. I would apologize for crying. I got use to crying in front of friends and strangers and stopped apologizing.
Express Gratitude: See the blessings. And there are and will be many. Even during our most difficult times there are many things to be grateful for. I noticed how others who offered us support would always say, “I wish I could do more.” I was so grateful that family, friends, strangers reached out and did what they could do. No act of kindness was too small or unappreciated.
Trust: Even though you are going through a difficult time right now trust that this too shall pass. At times this is not easy to do. Your beliefs and your faith will be tested. I purchased a wooden sign that has the following saying, “not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be okay”. I read this every morning and every night. I needed to know it was going to be okay.
This quote by Wayne Dyer sums it all up, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
I chose to be changed for the better, to evolve, by this experience.
Enjoy the roller coaster ride of life.
Today’s author: Kath is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Speaker, and an Abundant Intelligence Certified Leader. Kath will be the featured closing speaker at our upcoming Wholistic Woman Spring Retreat. For details about the retreat, click here. To learn more about Kath go to www.kathschnorr.com
Save
