Have you experienced a life-changing event?  A difficult or challenging experience that changed your life, as you knew it?  I have…several times.  The latest was last summer when we lost our home in the Black Forest wildfire in Colorado.

Each of us has our own way to cope during these challenging times.  We do the best we can based on the circumstances.  You might think you cannot handle the difficult situation that is happening.  We seem to give ourselves little credit.  As Winnie the Pooh says, “You are stronger than you think.”  We don’t know until it happens and you just might surprise yourself.

That is what happened to me.

I posted the following on Facebook the first night of the fire:  “We lost our house and all our possessions today. Something I never imagined or expected to post on Facebook. And we still have everything that is important and that matters…family, friends, and love. I’m sure I will need to be reminded of this from time to time in the months ahead.  A new beginning and adventure begins. I am grateful for all I have.  Blessings to all.”

I remember the feeling as if it was just yesterday.  Having lost everything, it became crystal clear what was important – my family, my husband and my kids.  We were all safe.  Everything else was just stuff. And even though we had a lot of stuff that was gone in that moment it did not matter.

The coping strategies we use vary; from shutting down so we can get by, to wanting to blame someone for what happened, to allowing our self to feel what is happening and learn from the experience.  Many of us need to understand what happened.  Sometimes some things just don’t make sense.  Life happens.  Loss happens.

During a challenging time it is our choice how we let the situation impact us.  Even in the midst of life’s many storms we have the capacity to stand in the center of our peace.  Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.  To keep your inner peace, turn inward.

That is what I did.  I used the following techniques to stay connected to my center, to my inner peace…not all the time…but most of the time.

Allow Yourself to Feel Your feelings:  Allow yourself to feel, to go with your emotions as they come up in the moment (the sadness of loss and the joy of blessings). Don’t resist them or stuff them down.  One day driving to our rental home around 5:00 pm I noticed how the sunlight was reflecting through the trees.  I burst into tears.  I love the light this time of evening and most of the trees on our property had burned.

Take Quiet Time:  Spend time to process; enjoy a hot bath or a hot cup of tea, write in a journal, take a walk in nature, meditate or spend time with friends.  What ever works for you. Listen to your inner knowing for what you need.  Honor yourself.

Don’t apologize: for your feelings or anything else.  Initially I cried whenever I talked about the fire.  I would apologize for crying.  I got use to crying in front of friends and strangers and stopped apologizing.

Express Gratitude:  See the blessings. And there are and will be many.  Even during our most difficult times there are many things to be grateful for. I noticed how others who offered us support would always say, “I wish I could do more.”  I was so grateful that family, friends, strangers reached out and did what they could do.  No act of kindness was too small or unappreciated.

Trust:  Even though you are going through a difficult time right now trust that this too shall pass.  At times this is not easy to do. Your beliefs and your faith will be tested.  I purchased a wooden sign that has the following saying, “not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be okay”.  I read this every morning and every night. I needed to know it was going to be okay.

This quote by Wayne Dyer sums it all up, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift.  Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

I chose to be changed for the better, to evolve, by this experience.

Enjoy the roller coaster ride of life.

Today’s author: Kath is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Speaker, and an Abundant Intelligence Certified Leader.  Kath will be the featured closing speaker at our upcoming Wholistic Woman Spring Retreat.  For details about the retreat, click here. To learn more about Kath go to www.kathschnorr.com

Save