by Carol deLaski | Jun 23, 2017 | Gratitude, Guest Blogging, Kira Tregoning, Professional Development
This Tuesday was a Tuesday like any other: I got ready for the day, placed my Starbucks coffee order, headed to my BNI meeting and set up the coffee for my group, and began networking. The morning meetings went well and I felt energized and hyped to continue going about my day. After the BNI leadership team meeting, I drove from Frederick over to Mount Airy for another meeting with a new contact.
Again, the meeting went very well. We were even able to sit outside and chat in the cool breeze at a shaded table. It was very pleasant, and I climbed back into my car afterward feeling great about myself and my business.
I decided, since I was in Mount Airy, to stop by the local Jimmie Cone. If you have never heard of Jimmie Cone before, it’s a local ice cream stop with locations in Mount Airy and Damascus, and they’re known for the crunchy “jimmie” sprinkles that go on top of the ice cream. I have many fond childhood memories from when I used to live in Mount Airy of going to Jimmie Cone with my dad and enjoying a cone in the summer evenings. Well, since I had driven up here and had some time, I drove the two minutes over to the Mount Airy location.
I got my ice cream, took the first bite, relaxed into my seat, and took a look around me. Fluffy white clouds floated across a bright blue sky, and despite the busy road being nearby, it was actually pretty quiet in the middle of the day. A breeze tossed my hair away from my face and kept the sunshine from being too oppressive. I put away my phone and took the time to enjoy the beautiful day and my delicious ice cream with the crunchy jimmies (which I rarely allow myself these days). While I had originally only planned on stopping for maybe ten minutes and wolfing down my frozen treat, I ended up stealing half an hour. It was worth every second.
As a relatively new business owner, I struggle with finding the right balance for my days. I’m going into my second year of full-time business, so I’m still working out some of the remaining kinks and striking the right work-play-rest ratio. On advice from multiple seasoned business owners in my circle, I’ve recently begun working hard on my time management and scheduling out my days to make my workload easier to deal with and also to ensure I’m still getting enough time for sleep, exercise, and time with friends and family.
I had attended the Be Balanced event at the end of May with Carol deLaski, and one of the takeaways for me from that event was the reminder to find balance, and if I can’t find it (i.e., if it doesn’t happen naturally), then I need to create it until I do “find” it. And my unexpected Jimmie Cone time was a reminder to build in time for rest and play—or at least, not to feel guilty when those moments pop up.
When I finished my ice cream, I smiled, cleaned up my trash, turned on my car, and drove off to return to my business.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media management and editing business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, editing, and manuscript critiques. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at kiratregoning.com.
by Carol deLaski | Feb 26, 2017 | Kelye Rouse-Brown, Personal Development, Professional Development
It’s so nice to score 100%, and is a great target to aim for. When growing up, we focused on good grades. In relationships, we want to give 100%, and in business we want to be profitable so we can live a full and rich life. We want success and success means different things to different people. In my life and business, I use the acronym SCORE to reach higher levels and aim for 100%, which stands for:
S – Smile, C – Care, O – Offer more, R – Reliability, E – Empowerment
S – SMILE – When we smile we feel good and it lifts our mood. It is an immediate way to connect with others in a positive way. It’s a gesture that can take you to a new level. Smiling is a booster for everyone—it’s contagious and a good thing to catch. It’s been said that a frown actually uses more muscles than a smile. When do you smile the most? What are the benefits of smiling in your workplace?
C – CARE – My business is to serve others, and to do it in a caring, hospitable way. It feels good to take care of people’s needs. Of course, this rolls over into my personal life, which feels natural. To really care and have a heart-centered approach will strengthen all relationships. It’s been said in the business world that heart-centered leadership is about a deeper kind of power, a spiritual power. “It’s not about how the job gets done, it’s how the leader can best serve his or her associates,” said Susan Steinbrecher, author of Heart-Centered Leadership, An Invitation to Lead from the Inside Out.
O – OFFER MORE – I believe there are always opportunities to do more. I have Maximizer as a strength and this talent shows up for me here. I like to offer more to make sure there is comfort all around. In business, I usually say “What else can I do to make you more comfortable?” or “Can I offer something else?” Recently I found myself saying to one of my oldest friends and her daughter flying in, “What comforts can I provide while you are here for your stay?” She was delighted and it was small, just pretzels. Maximizer and offering more is taking the event from good to great or great to excellent or excellent to outstanding—well, more often than not, poor to good. There are many solutions all around us and stretching ourselves to offer more personally and professionally helps us win and achieve more.
R – RELIABILITY – Every minute counts is a motto used with my team when we are meeting travelers in the airport that are between flights. Reliability and showing up on time or being dependable are very important ways to build trust. Sometimes one minute can mean the difference in someone missing their plane, a phone call, or the school bus. One minute can impact your whole day.
E – EMPOWERMENT – Feeling in control and in charge of your life or work is an important charge. I think about Dr. Brené Brown’s work from her book Daring Greatly when she says living BIG is about setting boundaries, integrity, and having generous assumptions. When you pause and realize that you, only you, can control your destiny and be empowered to do what’s right and live with integrity, it’s very empowering. In business, my team knows that they are empowered to do the right thing. At the end of the day, feeling free of problems and looking at situations as opportunities to serve others starts with you.
Come join us at our next retreat called Wholehearted Living based on the Gifts of Imperfection, by Dr. Brené Brown. Maybe it’s time to let go of being 100%. SCORE yourself a weekend to smile more, focus on self-care, offer more to yourself, make a reliable choice to honor your time, and be empowered to be YOU!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 11, 2017 | Carol deLaski, Change, Personal Development, Professional Development
This quote (by one of my favorite authors) reminds us to fully embrace our ‘You-ness’ and be unique.
How will you blend your special gifts, strengths, and experiences, to continue being a ‘one-of-a-kind’ person in 2017?
I find that using a theme word for the year is a helpful way to guide my growth as a unique person. I highly recommend it if you are seeking a new perspective about your work, or life overall.
The three step process outlined in the book One Word to Change Your Life tells us how to receive a word that God, the Universe (or whatever you call that which is bigger than us) intends for our growth. The process is simple, yet important to follow because this is not about picking any ole’ good word. It’s about receiving the word uniquely intended for you. The three step process works like this:
1. Look within. Set aside time to be quiet and ask yourself these powerful questions:
What do I need? Not what do I want, but what do I truly need?
What’s in my way? What’s blocking me?
What needs to go? Or, what do I need to release in order to move forward?
2. Look up. Prayerfully ask, “What do you (God or the Universe) want to do in me and through me?” Be open and pay attention for the answer. The word that surfaces may not be what you expect. In fact, your mind may reject the word provided, but if your heart and soul knows that it is your word, then go with it. Even if the word doesn’t make sense initially, try to remain open and curious to see what insights await you.
3. Look out. Live with your word for the entire year. It’s important to stick with it because there will be lessons that will be learned by applying it to everyday highs and lows.
My first word was BELIEVE and I found it very easy to identify all that I believed in…faith, love, honesty, kindness…the list went on and on. Midway through the year, however, I started to see my unbelief, those times when I felt weak, vulnerable, and insecure. It was uncomfortable to realize the person I didn’t fully believe in was me. My word helped me recognize how self-doubt limits me at times and I found the antidote in faith. When I feel weak and unable to go on, God provides the people and resources that I need. I learned that the more I look for that provision the more I see it, again and again.
The next year my word was FOUND. This word helped me identify the actions, solutions, thoughts, and approaches that work best for me, and to release those that do not. I learned how to more consistently rely on what I have found to be true. I trust my intuition more, spend less time comparing myself to others and feeling lost. I know where the source of my inner strength lies and encourage others to find their own resilience through strengths coaching and my book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. FOUND was a very relevant word for me in 2014.
In 2015 my word was HEAR. Initially I thought this word was a bit odd and uninspiring. Nonetheless, I went with it and learned to pay attention to the messages that I allow myself to hear from others…and from my own self-talk. I started to consciously block harmful or negative messages and tried to open my ears to listen for positive and/or divine messages. Interestingly, I heard many of those messages from family, friends, clients, and other people who may or may not have known they were a conduit…giving me exactly what I needed to hear on any given day.
In 2016 my word has been ASK. I’m a recovering independent woman who is learning the value of being interdependent. I have a tendency to ‘just do it myself.’ It’s hard for me to ask for what I need. My word has reminded me to practice asking a lot this year. I’ve learned important lessons not only about asking but also about waiting patiently and receiving.
After spending an entire year with each of my words I find that they become a part of me. The habit of using them to gain perspective and a sense of direction continues long after the year is over. Each word has helped me grow wiser and more self-aware.
As 2017 begins, I’m going through the process to discover a new theme word and I invite you to join me.
You can learn more about the One Word Process in the book One Word to Change Your Life by Gordon, Britton, and Page. Once you’ve received your Word, be sure to share it with others to form a support or stretch team that will help you stay on track throughout the year.
Would you like to be part of my Stretch Team?
If so, I warmly invite you to join the Wholistic Woman ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat on January 25th from 5:30-7:30 pm when we will kickoff the 2017 Evening Retreat Series. During this Launch Party you will learn about the One Word process and hear inspiring stories of it’s impact on other individuals. If you have a Word for 2017 be sure to bring it with you…or bring whatever words you may be considering…or just come and learn more about the process.
During the Launch Party you will learn about the evening retreat line-up for 2017. We hope you will join us for all 9 of these evening retreats to learn, grow personally and professionally and to stay connected with your One Word Stretch Team throughout the year. If you can make it to a lot of the evening retreats we suggest that you become a member to receive discounts on every event. Click here to learn more and become a member.
Most importantly, in this community of women-on-the-grow know that you are accepted for who you are while at the same time provided with tools and strategies to be more fully you! We believe that we are each unique and a wonderful work-in-progress. The Wholistic Coaches and I are honored to support you in becoming your best in this fresh new year full of limitless possibilities.
As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.”
May this be a great year to Be You!
Warmly, Carol
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an author and strengths-based coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected].
by Carol deLaski | Apr 6, 2016 | Change, Family, Kelye Rouse-Brown, Personal Development, Professional Development, Retreats
Today I feel a sense of fulfillment from completing a trip that I have longed to take over the past few years. I called it my Roots to Boots tour because my family roots are in Oklahoma and I needed my brave boots from Texas to make this particular journey.
Designing the trip was fun, yet filled with uncertainty because I didn’t know how it would unfold. I can’t remember the last time I took two whole weeks off to spend time with my mom’s family members that I haven’t seen in over a decade (and probably only ten times in my entire life).
As I planned the trip, some of the questions I asked myself were:
Will my mom’s side of the family remember me…and embrace this trip as I do?
What surprises will I encounter to make this trip more challenging or complete?
I’m happy to say that these questions were answered positively and that I experienced some pleasant surprises. This trip was bittersweet as I celebrated both the successful three year anniversary of my Texas joint venture and the anniversary of my mom’s passing.
After reflecting on this much anticipated journey, I can truthfully say that I am happier than I was three years ago. I am happier because….
- I’m celebrating a successful business milestone with greater opportunities on the horizon
- I have reconnected with my family in Oklahoma, closing a lengthy ten year gap.
- I brought my mom’s ashes back to her roots, where she started her life and felt complete
- My husband and I made this journey, and celebrated this labor of love, together.
Recognizing and embracing the process of becoming happier is a wonderful, and joyful, benefit of this Roots to Boots trip. Planning this adventure made me uncomfortable at times. However, I realized that I needed to be courageous, and step out into the world, to bring a deeper level of peace and healing into my life. The timing seemed perfect. In hindsight, I see that I not only boosted myself with this trip but (according to my husband) I also boosted my extended family by traveling back to our roots.
I truly believe that happiness boosters are important in life.
What boosts your happiness?
What happiness boosters are you willing to explore to bring needed closure and peace to your life?
Remember that becoming happier is a lifelong pursuit. I encourage you to discover ways to rejuvenate yourself to feel happier.
Do you want to learn more about becoming happier?
Ladies, you’re invited to the Be Happier Evening Retreat where I will be teaching techniques from the book Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar on April 27 at Jo Jo’s Restaurant from 5:30-7:30 pm. Click here for details and to register and reserve your spot. Make a friend happier and invite her to join you!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Mar 1, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development, Professional Development, Retreats
Which words in this quote stand out to you?
The word confidently resonates the most to me. As I read it, I imagine myself striding purposefully towards my personal and professional dreams. I am not lackadaisical or distracted, but rather I envision my head held high, arms swinging beside my body, and eyes focused ahead of me as I steadily move forward. I like this image!
To be honest, though, the poise and assurance of self-confidence can be elusive; sometimes I have it and sometimes I don’t.
Research shows that when we feel confident we are likely to exhibit some of these behaviors:
- We do what we believe is right, even if others mock or criticize us for it.
- We are willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve our goals.
- We admit our mistakes, and learn from them.
- We wait for others to congratulate us on our accomplishments.
- We accept compliments graciously, “Thanks, I really worked hard on that project. I’m pleased that you recognize my efforts.”
By contrast, when we lack confidence we frequently demonstrate these behaviors
- We choose our actions based on what other people think.
- We stay in our comfort zone, fear failure, and avoid taking risks.
- We work hard to cover up mistakes and hope that we can fix a problem before anyone notices it.
- We promote our own virtues as often as possible, to as many people as possible.
- We dismiss compliments offhandedly, “Oh that project was nothing, really, anyone could have done it.”
I’ve come to learn that self-confidence is really a balancing act.
There are 4 steps that each of us can adopt to be more confident.
Step 1: Know who you are. A healthy appreciation of what makes you unique is the foundation for self-confidence. It is important to know your strengths and values, and to be grounded in that which you have control over…namely, yourself.
Step 2: Manage your mental chatter. It is hard to know, love, and accept yourself in a world that encourages us to compare ourselves to others. Marketing companies want us to yearn for the product or service they’re selling; they intend for us to feel incomplete without it. We must guard against the onslaught of messages that imply we are not enough.
In addition, we have more information at our fingertips than ever before. It is easy to take a spectator seat, watching other people’s lives via social media and to compare ourselves to them. We can be drawn into thinking they are more attractive, smarter, luckier, and happier than we are. The truth is that we only see a small slice of the lives of others, and no one really knows another person’s reality. Comparing yourself to others and judging yourself as ‘less than’ is detrimental to knowing and accepting the unique individual that you are.
A sidekick to comparison is negative self-talk. The inner critic can run rampant in most of our minds and we must be intentional not to let it drag us down. Like tuning into a radio station, dial past the static of self-critical thoughts that deflate you, and tune into positive thinking. Managing your mental chatter will free up space, and energy, for step 3.
Step 3: Decide who you want to be. As you practice the first 2 steps of accepting yourself and focusing on the positive, you will be ready to decide how you want to be and what you want to do. What is your vision and dream for your work…and for your life overall? Once you have the vision, create small action steps to move you in the direction of your dream. We are meant to be a work-in-progress, so celebrate each step that you make and use it as a launch pad for the next step on your journey. Evolve into who you are called to be.
Step 4: Know your Team. While you pursue your work and life vision, know that you are not alone. There will be days when lack of confidence will rear its ugly head and you may experience some of the anxious behaviors listed above. Who can you count on to support you when you are fearful? Who will stand with you in the gap formed by self-doubt and remind you that you are still special and loved? Who believes in you even when you struggle to believe in yourself? Perhaps that person will remind you to circle around and begin steps 1 through 4 all over again. By practicing them faithfully and intentionally, you will notice how your confidence flourishes.
Let me know your thoughts on these steps to greater self-confidence by leaving a comment here or emailing me directly.
An invitation for women who want more information on this topic:
You’re invited to join me for the Wholistic Woman ‘Be Confident’ Evening Retreat on March 30th from 5:30-7:30 pm. These evening retreats are open to women in the Frederick area who are interested in personal and professional development in a supportive, fun, and friendly environment. Click here for the workshop description and/or to register.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski (PCC) is a professional certified coach, speaker, and author who specializes in strengths development for businesses and individuals. Her coaching book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith is a springboard to develop inner wisdom and resilience. Visit her website or send an email with your comments or to arrange for a free consultation.
www.Caroldelaski.com | [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 9, 2016 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development, Professional Development, Retreats
“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” ~ Dr. Seuss
These words, by one of my favorite authors, reminds us of our uniqueness. My wish for you this year is to become more fully your Self. May you blend your special gifts, strengths, and experiences, to continue being a ‘one-of-a-kind’ person.
Who do you want to be this year?
What will it take to get there?
What will you need to include, or exclude, to help you move towards that vision?
I have found that using a theme word for the year is a helpful tool to guide my growth. I highly recommend it if you are seeking new perspectives and direction in your work, or life overall.
The three step process outlined in the book One Word to Change Your Life tells us how to receive a word that God, the Universe…or whatever you call that which is bigger than us…intends for our growth. The process is simple, yet important to follow because this is not about picking a good word. It’s about receiving the word uniquely intended for you. The three step process looks like this:
1. Look within. Set aside time to be quiet and ask yourself these questions:
- What do I need? Not what do I want, but what do I truly need?
- What’s in my way? In other words, what’s blocking me?
- What needs to go? What do I need to release in order to move forward?
2. Look up. Prayerfully ask, “What do you (God or the Universe) want to do in me and through me?” Be open and pay attention for the answer. The word that surfaces may not be what you expected. In fact, your mind may reject it but if your heart and soul knows that it is your word, then go with it, even if it doesn’t make sense initially. Try to have an attitude of curiosity about the word you receive.
3. Look out. Live with your word for the entire year. It’s important to stick with it because there will be lessons that will be learned by living with it through easy, as well as challenging times.
My first word was BELIEVE and I found it very easy to identify all that I believed in…faith, love, honesty, kindness…the list went on and on. Midway through the year, however, I started to see my unbelief, those times when I felt weak, vulnerable, and insecure. It was uncomfortable to realize the person I didn’t fully believe in was me. My word helped me recognize how self-doubt limits me at times and I found the antidote in faith. When I feel weak and unable to go on, God provides the people and resources that I need. I learned that the more I look for that provision the more I see it, again and again.
The next year my word was FOUND. This word helped me identify the actions, solutions, thoughts, and approaches that serve me best, and to release those that do not. I learned how to more consistently rely on what I have found to be true. I trust my intuition more, spend less time comparing myself to others and feeling lost. I know where the source of my inner strength lies and encourage others to find their own resilience through strengths coaching and my book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. FOUND was a very relevant word for me in 2014.
In 2015 my word was HEAR. Initially I thought this word was unusual. Nonetheless, I went with it and learned to pay attention to the messages that I allow myself to hear from others…and from my own self-talk. I started to consciously block harmful or negative messages and tried to open my ears to listen for positive, divine, messages. Interestingly, I heard many of those messages from family, friends, clients, and other people who may or may not have known they were a conduit…giving me exactly what I needed to hear on any given day.
After spending a year with each of my words I realize that they become a part of me. I’ve developed a habit of using them to gain perspective and a sense of direction which continues long after the year is over. Each word has been a blessing.
As 2016 begins, I am again going through the process to discover a new theme word. I invite you to join me.
If you’d like to learn more about the One Word Process you can find it in the book One Word to Change Your Life by Gordon, Britton, and Page. Once you’ve received your Word, be sure to share it with others to form a Stretch Team that will help you stay on track throughout the year.
Would you like to be part of our Stretch Team?
If so, I warmly invite you to join the Wholistic Woman ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat on January 27th from 5:30-7:30 pm. This will be the kickoff for a series of ‘Be You’ Evening Retreats in 2016. During this Launch Party you will learn about the One Word process and hear stories of it’s positive impact on other individuals. If you already have a Word for 2016 be sure to bring it with you…or bring whatever words you may be considering…or just come and learn more about it.
At the Launch Party you will also learn about the evening retreat line-up for 2016. You’re invited to join us for all 8 of these evening retreats to learn, grow, and stay connected with your One Word Stretch Team.
Now is the time to become a member of the Wholistic Woman Community to receive discounts on all our events. Click here to see details about the ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat Package or register for just the Launch Party. Come to one…or all eight! When you register for the entire series you will receive a $40 savings (events are transferable…so you can give them away if you find that you can’t make some dates)! Join us in the way that feels right to you.
Remember, in this community of women-on-the-grow you are accepted for who you are while at the same time provided with tools and strategies to be more fully you!
Each of us is a work-in-progress. The Wholistic Coaches and I are honored to support you in becoming your best in this fresh new year full of limitless possibilities.
In closing, I share the quote by Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.”
May this be a great year to Be You!
Warmly, Carol
Carol deLaski, PCC, is an author and strengths-based coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected].
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