by Carol deLaski | Oct 3, 2016 | Guest Blogging, Self-Care
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” –Dr. Seuss
As children we accept this simple truth — we are uniquely created individuals. Too often, as adults, we forget. When does this psychological sabotage happen and why do we stop embracing our Youniqness?
Typically this perspective change happens unconsciously. Studies have shown the average brain processes 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day. That’s 48 thoughts per minute. Which means that we need to ask ourselves how many of these thoughts are negatively impacting our perspective through false comparisons or unrealistic expectations?
Our DNA, the genetic code that dictates our gender, appearance, and propensities, determines much of what makes us unique. It is present in every one of our 10 trillion cells. If you removed a person’s genetic code and stretched it out, end to end, it would reach from the earth to the sun 100 times! This vast assortment of code is combined in an infinite array of possibilities. As a result, no two people are the same. We are each an original design of a master craftsman.
So, why were we made with so much genetic diversity? Is there some sort of implicit purpose to our uniqueness? What did our Creator have in mind? If we were created this way, why do we try so hard to be like someone else?”
Comparison does not equal inspiration. Comparing our ‘average’ life to another’s ‘highlight reel’ often causes us to feel worse about ourselves rather than encouraging us to be better. It is in grasping this understanding that we can begin to appreciate another woman’s beauty without allowing it to take away from our own. To celebrate another woman’s success without it diminishing what we’ve accomplished. To recognize someone else’s intelligence without feeling inadequate.
The word unique means “having no like or equal.” As unique individuals we have no equal, hence no need of comparison. Instead, we can embrace our very own DNA. Let us learn to appreciate and communicate that we are Designed, Necessary, and Able.
We are Designed. As an architect brings his masterpiece to life through imagination, creativity, and adoration, we have a designer who made us with great creativity and love. You are not an accident. You are a unique design; a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.
We are Necessary. Each one of us has special character traits, strengths, and skills given to us to fulfill our purpose. Whether you are a hard-working mom, employee, or CEO, you have been gifted with specific gifts that make you necessary to your world.
We are Able. We all occasionally struggle with doubt and fear. These can cause us to question our abilities or value to our world. Often these doubts are compounded by past mistakes, struggles, or perceived failures. This can make us afraid to try again or too tired to put in the hard work it may take to accomplish our goals. Being ‘able’ requires us to accept ourselves. It empowers us to accept that we cannot change the past, but are able to affect the present and build our future. When we begin to embrace our true DNA, we are more able to celebrate our attributes, live authentically, accept ourselves and love others.
October’s Be Unique Evening Retreat will delve deeper into discovering, understanding, and embracing our unique DNA. Please consider this your invitation to join us! Click here for details
Today’s author: Affiliate Coach, Liz King-Reihm, works with women of all ages to create healthy lives through mental, physical, and spiritual wholeness. She helps women discover their potential with both personal training as well as life coaching. For more information about Liz you can visit her website : www.coaching4her.com, email her at [email protected], or call (240) 397-6437 with specific questions.
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 19, 2016 | Fitness, Guest Blogging
I was recently reminded of a time when I was living in Baltimore and had decided to head out the door for my run without strapping on my phone to play the current audio book or energizing music that typically accompanies me. Now, there are typically only two reasons that I leave my entertainment home, either I know it is going to rain or I feel an internal nudge that I need to spend that time in prayer and meditation. This was one of those times. I was in a state of deep contemplation, really desiring to hear one of those great nuggets of wisdom that God has given me in the past. Times where I’ve walked away just knowing in the depths of my soul that this thing- a thought, an idea, or just simply a feeling of peace- had been spoken directly to my heart. I remember that I was at a crossroads and feeling like my life was not moving as quickly as it should be and begging to be shown what I was doing that could be impeding my progress. I believed there must be something I was missing that was hindering my forward movement and I just couldn’t figure it out despite my many efforts.
The first part of the run felt especially difficult. A lot of it was uphill and I was struggling to concentrate on my prayers and quieting my mind. My thoughts were running much faster than my legs and I felt as though God had decided not to accompany me on this run. I finally got into a groove after about a mile as the road flattened out and I had beautiful views of the bay. I was overcome with such a thankful heart for all of the blessings I currently had and the many times I had felt abundantly cared for despite my shortcomings. As I had settled into a nice comfortable pace and a quiet thoughtfulness, I began hearing quick steps approaching me from behind. I could tell they were getting closer, which meant the person behind me was running faster than I was and quickly gaining on me. I did not like this. You see, I am very competitive by nature. Sadly, to the point that I actually still get highly bothered and must strongly resist the temptation to show it when I lose so much as a card game (and don’t manage to resist quite as well when I lose a tennis match). So you can imagine my frustration when I realized that another person was so much faster than me that they had caught and passed me within a quarter of a mile. I watched this fit girl run past me with ease and after a split second of increasing my pace to prevent this defeat, I assured myself that I would eventually catch her with my endurance rather than speed. I was sure that the pace she was running would be short-lived as she must be doing speed work or on a short run. I even began thinking about how I would re-tell my own version of the ever inspiring “life is not a sprint it’s a marathon” tale. I planned to offer an empowering experience where endurance trumped speed and my strong finish, rather than start, was what truly mattered!
However, the truth is that I never caught that girl. She ran off ahead of me and I did not see her again before turning around to complete my run. It was in this defeat that I heard the message of insight I had been seeking that day. I heard that internal voice of wisdom remind me that sometimes in life we are just not as conditioned or at the same pace as another person. Sometimes we spend a season in a place where it feels as though others are zipping by us and we are stuck in neutral spinning our wheels. It was impressed on me that this is not the case, rather this season can be a purposeful time of preparation or rest or even discipline, but that we are never there by accident and it is self-defeating to compare ourselves to others who are at a different place. Because that is not our place. We think ‘fastest’ is best or staying ahead of others is what makes us successful, but our internal worth or value is not measured by how far ahead of others we are, it is by doing all we are called to do in the place that we are currently at. It is making the most of our journey, not someone else’s. This occurs best when we take our competitive eyes off of another’s path and put them back onto our own.
Side note: I would love to say that I embraced this lesson and was changed on the spot, relinquishing my competitive nature and desire to be the best. However, I must admit that as I heard steps approaching me from behind a few minutes later, I increased my speed to the point of maxing out and sucking air in order to stay ahead of my pursuer. I could barely finish my run as I finally turned off and headed for home, no longer being followed. But I cannot lie and say that I didn’t walk a little taller and a little prouder knowing I had won the second bout… I’m still a work in progress.
Today’s blog comes from Affiliate Coach, Liz King-Reihm. Liz works with women of all ages to help them create healthy lives through mental, physical, and spiritual wholeness. She helps women discover their potential with both personal training as well as coaching. For more information about Liz, you can visit her website: www.coaching4her.com or email her at [email protected]. Or call (240) 397-6437 with any specific questions.
Liz will be co-leading our next event, ‘Be Well’ on Wednesday July 27th from 5:30 – 7:30. For registration information and details on this event, click here
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by Carol deLaski | Jul 1, 2016 | Guest Blogging
How many of us can say that we have a portrait of ourselves hanging in our home that makes us feel like WE ARE ENOUGH?
And that this portrait fills you with self-love, empowerment and healing?
Ever since first picking up a camera, I became aware of the healing and transformative power of photography. Through my own personal journey of healing, turning to photography was my highest form of expression. I know firsthand it can be very difficult to express oneself with words, because quite honestly, sometimes there are no words for what we are going through. It is during these moments that I have found photography to be the next best thing. Through the lens, I am a humble witness to the unfolding and revealing of a soul’s authentic beauty.
This is how Soul Print Photography and the concept of healing portraiture was created. I define healing portraiture as “the beauty and illumination of the soul using a healing depiction of an individual with the use of photographic artistry”. We all desperately need individuals in our lives who will see and honor BOTH our light and our darkness. Even on our healing journeys, whether at the beginning, middle or the advanced level, and with all of the transformations we experience, there will always be a piece of us- a shadow that exists within us- that even though uncomfortable needs to be validated. We can’t exist without the other; it’s the Yin to our Yang. This form of honoring our spirit is what also inspired the concept of healing portraiture; to help support and empower others who are on their path of healing by using a more non-traditional form of expression.
I feel humbled and blessed to be on this journey and to have met some amazing people who have shared their personal life stories with me. I look forward to many more of these sessions and encourage you to gift yourself or someone you know with a healing portrait. The beauty of healing portraiture is that it is available to people of all ages. There are no requirements; simply take the first step to schedule a consultation and more information on what is involved and how to get started.
Today’s guest blogger is WWR Alliance Partner, Shannon Wagner. Shannon recently captured the full range of emotions that women felt at the Wholistic Woman Adventure Retreat – Courageous You. If you would like to learn more about her transforming photography, you can visit her website www.soulprintphotography.com or email her at [email protected]. (All information is kept confidential). Also, if you would like to see what Shannon is up to on a more frequent basis she would love to have you follow her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/soulprintphotography.
“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.”
~ HIPPOCRATES
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by Carol deLaski | May 12, 2016 | Finances, Guest Blogging, Retreats
Financial Documents. Planning for the future. ‘What if’ scenarios. The state of your aging parent’s finances. Words and phrases that can often strike fear and anxiety in most of us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As with any subject, the more you can learn, the more you can release your fear around that topic and begin to plan and use the information to your benefit.
So, what do I mean by Financial Documents? It is the documents and information that should be in place in case of a ‘Life Event’, which is something that has a significant impact on your life, both financially and personally. This could be retirement, funding a child’s education or wedding, death of a spouse, divorce, job loss, and the like. Many of us don’t want to think about some of these topics, or don’t feel that there is any way we could ever be prepared, and so therefore, the topic gets ignored. But the reality is, the more you can educate yourself on this topic, the more prepared you will be to face an inevitable life event. Ignoring it doesn’t make it not happen, but addressing it makes the event much less stressful.
I was someone who did not want to face reality that something could go wrong, because I honestly thought that I would not be able to continue on. I would ask my husband, Sam, ‘what do I do if anything happens to you’. But when he said to me, ‘Karen, you could take care of things’ my answer would be a resounding ‘No way!’ and I’d end the conversation. I did not want to think about the possibility of a future of my life without him. So when the worst case scenario happened – he died very unexpectedly at the young age of 49 – not only was I not prepared financially, but I had lost the opportunity for his guidance on what I should do moving forward, especially with our business. We had our financial documents, but they weren’t adequate for what I needed after his death. So, in addition to dealing with the gut-wrenching agony of losing Sam, I was also dealing with the very stressful and anxiety-ridden topic of how in the world I was going to move forward, both financially and without his guidance.
Being prepared for a Life Event centers around two main topics – financial documents and conversations with your loved ones. Action steps you can take in those areas:
- Gather your important documents together
- Review the documents with your significant other or a loved one to become familiar with them and their contents, if you feel comfortable doing so
- Make an appointment with appropriate professional advisors to review the documents and determine if they are adequate for a Life Event
- Have regular conversations with your significant other and/or family members about the basics of your financial documents and/or situation
This can sometimes be an overwhelming topic to think about, let alone move forward. However, it is very important not only for yourself, but also for your loved ones. Acknowledgement, education and setting intentions, as with anything, is the key to moving forward.
Join Jane Helm and myself on May 25th as we lead the ‘Be You . . . Be Intentional’ seminar centered around being intentional with your financial life. For Details and registration information, click here
Today’s author, Karen Smith Racicot is a business and life coach assisting women and business owners with organizing their inventory of financial documents and being better prepared for a Life Event. She enjoys helping clients create more structure and organization in their financial life, assisting them with developing a path toward their life and financial goals.
Karen is the President of the Women’s Business Network, an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Women’s Retreats, a 2014 graduate of the Chamber’s Leadership Frederick County program, and a member of Zion Lutheran Church in Middletown. Visit her website E3coaching-md.com for information on working with Karen.
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by Carol deLaski | Apr 14, 2016 | Guest Blogging, Happiness
Today’s guest blogger is Wholistic Woman Retreats’ member, Cathy Hansen. Cathy showcased her Laughter Yoga at our 2016 Strong You Retreat. Today she writes to introduce you to Laughter Yoga. We know you are going to enjoy this one!
It was my first trip outside of the U. S….I was alone in a cab with a non-English speaking driver as we exited the airport in the pouring rain. I was confident that I was on the right track because my trip coordinator had warned me to only hire a cab authorized by the Mexico City airport. When the cabbie turned down an isolated side street, pulled over and parked, I wasn’t so sure I that I had made a smart choice after all. My heart was in my throat until he pulled out a map; I knew then that he simply didn’t know how to reach my destination.
When I finally reached the retreat location an hour later, it was nearly dark and still pouring. It didn’t take long after we piled onto a crowded bus, for me to discover that only eleven of us spoke English. There were multiple languages being spoken as the participants got to know one another. That led to interesting teamwork four hours later when our driver decided to take a shortcut to the ashram through a rain soaked pasture. When the bus sunk axle-deep into the mud three miles from the ashram at 2 a.m., it was clear that the bus wasn’t going to go any further.
This was my introduction to the power of Laughter Yoga (LY)!
You might think that everyone on board would have been tired, irritable, and justifiably impatient from this series of mishaps, but not this group! After all, we were laughter yoga leaders. We kept our energy up with a hearty chant. HO HO, HA HA HA! And laughter followed.
That was in 2009 and I was already a Yoga leader. Its joyful and wholistic approach to promoting wellness had me completely hooked. I had come to this ashram in Mexico to earn my teaching certification under the watchful eye of LY’s founder, Dr. Maddan Kataria, of Mumbai, India.
What is Laughter Yoga?
Laughter Yoga is a refreshing and innovative practice that provides a new approach to stress management as well as physical and mental well-being through laughter. The secret of Laughter Yoga is that our bodies are hardwired to release powerful, natural benefits from extended, hearty laughter. LY uses a series of visualizations and pantomimes that are designed to generate laughter. The “yoga” portion comes from the yogic breathing interjected between the exercises to reduce heart rate and stress levels. Laughter itself, whether authentic or simulated, boosts the power of an aerobic workout in an easy and entertaining way.
Benefits of Laughter Yoga:
• Ten minutes of hearty laughter equals 30 minutes on a rowing machine
• Fifteen minutes of laughter every day can help you lose up to 4 lbs in a year
• A boost in confidence and increased overall sense of well-being
• Improves trust through increased communication
• Simultaneous reduction in physical, mental, and emotional stress
• A huge lift to your energy
• Lowered blood pressure
What can you expect from a Laughter Yoga session?
During a LY session, participants gather in a circle and follow the instructor’s lead as she prompts them to envision positive reactions to a series of negative situations. These scenarios are familiar to most people, such as running late in an airport, or opening a jaw-dropping credit card bill. The core message of LY is to foster joy and reinforce the fact that laughter is a natural, healing, technique.
The LY instructor gives participants techniques to incorporate laughter into their daily routines in simple ways, such as:
• Designating a specific door knob or handle to be a laughter trigger each time you touch it.
• Choosing three stop signs or traffic lights which you pass regularly as laughter reminders. Fortunately, with today’s wireless technology, other drivers will just think you’re listening to a really great story!
Prior to embarking on my journey in 2009, and creating my company, Laugh ‘N Live Well, I was on medication for hypertension and suffered from high anxiety. My personal testimony is that I’m no longer on medication and my anxiety has been lowered significantly. Perhaps most importantly, applying the LY attitude of positivity and gratitude has vastly reduced my stress levels.
I recall the day when a diabetic student nurse approached me after completing a LY session with me. She explained that before the session had begun she had tested her glucose and it was quite high. She considered doing an injection of insulin, but decided that she would wait until after the session and re-check. Upon doing so, she was excited to report that her glucose level had dropped by 200 points within the 50 minute session! Her story is a great example of the tremendous positive effect laughter has on our health and well-being.
In addition to reducing stress, LY is a great cardio workout. It is an easy, fun and joyful way to increase your energy and boost your immune system without the physical challenges of traditional yoga. Better yet, you do it in a welcoming environment surrounded by like-minded, happiness-seeking people.
My wish for you is that LY becomes part of your wellness journey.
Today’s author: Cathy Hansen is a certified Laughter Yoga instructor and owner of Laugh ‘N Live Well. She provides Laughter Yoga facilitation services for corporate training programs, conferences, networking events, yoga studios, and women’s business and social groups. Cathy is passionate about introducing the Laughter Yoga experience to those with a desire to have fun and increase their well-being. In addition, Cathy is currently attending the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). If you would like to learn more or arrange for Cathy to offer LY to your group you can contact her at 717-414-8849 or visit her website- www.laughnlivewell.net.
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 8, 2016 | Change, Guest Blogging
To resolve or not to resolve – that is often the question at this time of year. Many of us make New Year’s Resolutions because we know there are things we want, or need, to start or stop doing and this is our opportunity to try and make those changes. There are also many of us that recognize we are not actually going to follow through on our resolutions, or don’t like the idea of once-a-year resolutions, so we don’t make them. Or perhaps we realize that we are constantly growing and changing, and that the New Year is simply a time to recognize the growth we’ve accomplished and to look forward to the possibilities in the upcoming year.
One of my favorite things to do at the beginning of each year is to use the Annual Review and Planning Guide that I received from Coach Carol deLaski a few years ago. The guide is a series of questions that encourage me to look back on the past year to “savor the blessings and evaluate how the year went”. Then, it asks me to look towards the upcoming year to “envision the year ahead” which allows me to set intentions for who I want to be and what I want to accomplish. This important annual review process is a form of re-awakening for me – a special time when I can recognize how much I have changed and grown in a year, and to ask – and answer – some tough questions about what I’ve done and who I’ve been, and to look towards the upcoming year to see what I want to do and who I want to be.
This is my third year doing this process, and reading back over the past few years, I discovered something that I already sub-consciously knew, but didn’t have the evidence to back up before – every year, there are a few of the exact same items that keep showing up on the list of what I want to change in the upcoming year, but I have yet to make those adjustments. So I have to ask myself – do I really want to change these things, or do I just say that I do and hide behind excuses as to why it doesn’t happen?
That’s a tough question for me. There are so many areas of my life that are wonderful and moving forward in the direction I want – my grown kids are all independent and doing well; my husband and I are creating the life we want; I sold a business that had become burdensome; and I’m making plans to travel – a lot – in the upcoming years. But there are two areas that I consistently say I need to change – one is my health and the other is initiating contact with people – which I don’t follow through on. I notice that I allow those two unmet goals to overshadow the forward movement I make in everything else.
For 2016, one of my intentions is to come to terms with those two goals. If I honestly feel that the goal is an area that I want to focus on, then I need to set the intention and create a plan to move towards that goal. However, if it is on my list simply because it’s been there in the past but didn’t get done, I need to take an honest look as to whether or not it should still be on the list, and make decisions accordingly. It may need to come off the list, or it may need to be re-evaluated and my expectations changed.
I encourage each and every one of you to reflect on this past year and to envision the upcoming one. If you do, there are a few ideas that may help:
- Give yourself the gift of time. It may take several days or a week. In any case, be sure that the time is spent in peace and quiet, without other interruptions.
- Be honest with yourself, but be kind. If you find yourself focusing on the negatives of last year rather than the positives, think about how you would encourage a friend that was feeling that way.
- Consider the goals for the upcoming year as intentions. This allows you to take into consideration where to start, rather than how to finish. Think about the commitments you’re willing to make in order to move forward.
- Decide how you want to remember these goals/intentions. Whether it is a vision board, an accountability partner, or another source, it is important to keep the vision in front of you throughout the year.
I hope that you are able to take some time – both now and throughout the year – to recognize your accomplishments and steps you have made to move forward. I look forward to seeing and interacting with the Wholistic Woman Community in the upcoming year as we grow and become even more intentional about how we live our life.
Karen Smith Racicot is an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Coaching Coalition and owner of E3Coaching. She has also worked in the accounting field for over 25 years. She is passionate about helping women organize their financial paperwork so that they are able to navigate life’s inevitable challenges and helps turn them into opportunities. She can be reached at [email protected].
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