by Dawn | Jun 22, 2018 | Courage, Fear, Kira Tregoning
Adventure is What You Make It
I’ve never considered myself to be an adventurous person. I never liked trying new foods, I’m afraid of heights, and pollen allergies always make it difficult to venture outside spring through autumn.
But in thinking about what I would write for my blog this week, I considered the following question:
What does adventure mean to me?
And that opened some interesting avenues. My idea of adventure doesn’t have to be the same definition someone else would give. I’m also certain that I’ve done things other people would consider highly adventurous. So what does adventure mean to me?
I’ve been a horseback rider for many years. I remember begging my mother for riding lessons when I was 9 (though in truth, I didn’t have to try that hard, as she was also a rider when young), and I gleefully began riding after that Christmas present came through. Riding is in my blood. It’s an inextricable part of me, and when I am not actively involved with horses, life is much less fun. Working in harmony with a thousand-pound creature to create a partnership in the arena is like nothing else.
As a kid, I dreamed of being a three-day eventer. This discipline involves show jumping, dressage, and cross-country jumping. Jumping never scared me, even though it’s one of the many ways riders fall off and hurt themselves, sometimes resulting in serious injuries. And I have definitely fallen off and hurt myself while riding! But I’ve always felt that jumping was like flying—that weightless feeling as my horse and I are going over jumps in sync with each other is like nothing else.
Non-riders, and even a few fellow riders, have told me they think jumping is crazy and dangerous, and they would never do it. So while jumping feels natural and fun to me, and feeds my soul with adventure, others consider it too much of a risk.
What activities do you find frightening or intimidating? Why?
How can you overcome those feelings to give them a try?
Adventure doesn’t have to be purely physical, either. I took a huge risk and a big leap of faith when I began working for myself four years ago. To briefly recap my business adventures: I had been laid off from my previous job and while job searching, was working part-time at a stable. I suffered a severe concussion from a double hit to the head in a freak accident at the barn and was unable to work for a while. I looked at my skills and what I thought was marketable and decided to start freelancing as an editor and marketer.
Four years later, I’ve built a successful social media marketing business. It turned out far better than I ever could have planned, and it certainly wasn’t on my life to-do list. I could have continued trying to find a job the traditional way or stayed with my previous employer when they called me back almost a year later and offered me a job. But I decided to continue working for myself. That particular adventure isn’t for everyone, and is loaded with risk, stress, and sometimes, failure. But the rewards I’ve gained have been invaluable, and I now can’t imagine going back to working for someone else. I don’t know exactly where my business will lead me, but I can now say I’m up for the adventure.
When have you taken a leap of faith?
What intangibles do you consider adventurous?
If you’re ready for a new adventure, join Wholistic Woman Retreats for the Be Adventurous Scavenger Hunt on July 25, 2018! Come with your own team or make new friends at the event. Teams will follow clues based on the four Wholistic areas of mind, body, heart, and spirit. Come laugh, explore, and play with us! You’ll learn something new about yourself and others while connecting with this growing community of women. Learn more and register here.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local marketing business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, and editing. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.maiasocial.com
by Carol deLaski | Mar 5, 2018 | Kira Tregoning, Success
“Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them.” – Anna Taylor
What does friendship mean to you? When you think of connection, what comes to mind first?
We all have a yearning, on some level, to connect with others. We endeavor to build friendships and create our own circles of people we know, like, and trust. Creating these communities not only staves off loneliness and sadness, but exposes us to new ideas, builds a support network, and allows us to fulfill an inner drive to bond with others in varying degrees.
Who’s in your circle? Who supports you, and who do you connect with or support?
Take a moment and think about your own friendship circles. You likely have one group of friends with whom you are extremely close, followed by a second circle of good friends but not friends who are like family, followed by acquaintances, followed by business connections… the list could go on and on. When you pause to examine your connections, you probably have more acquaintances and casual connections than good friends or best friends, but you have more people in your network than you might initially think.
Some of my most valuable connections have been with the amazing women I’ve met over the years. My two closest friends are incredible. I’ve known both of them now for more than a decade, and over that time, our friendships have evolved to allow for us to grow individually. Michelle was my college roommate and at first, I wasn’t sure she and I would work out very well – she was loud and blunt, whereas I was quiet and shy. Yet somehow, we each rubbed off on the other, so I tempered her while some of her forthrightness seeped over to me. We grew together and changed each other for the better.
Casey and I are also very much the introvert/extrovert pair. We met in college, but despite our personality differences, we hit it off right away. I was still coming out of my shy shell at the time, whereas she was outgoing and social. She and I have seen each other through the worst life can throw at us, and we’ve come through the fire to the other side. We didn’t so much change each other over the years as we have supported and stood by each other.
I know I am not the same person I was a decade ago, but neither are these two friends – yet my friendships with them are stronger than ever, even accounting for three states being in the way with one of them.
Women supporting women goes beyond personal friendships as well. While writing this blog, I realized that all my mentors in business are women, which is more of a happy accident than an intentional occurrence. I certainly would not be where I am without their guidance and support, and over the last few years, these connections have blossomed from solely business relationships and more into the realm of friendships. I know I can go to these women when I have a problem to ask for advice, and we share our failures and successes with each other.
A strong community of women supporting women is one which inspires, supports, and transforms. Over the last weekend when I attended the Be Creative retreat, I realized my personal community had expanded again. Women who I had just met that day were welcoming and kind, and as a group we cheered successes, embraced our faults, and assisted through mistakes.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local marketing business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, editing, and manuscript critique services. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.maiasocial.com
by Carol deLaski | Jan 26, 2018 | Confidence, Courage, Kira Tregoning
If I were to ask ten people how they’re creative, I’m willing to bet I would get at least five different responses – but the most common response would be “I’m not creative.” Far too many people believe that they need to write a bestselling novel or paint a masterpiece to be considered creative. In an Adobe study on creativity and education, 78% of survey participants said they wish they had more creative ability.
We are all creative, whether we write, paint, draw, sing, or dance. Creativity is part of our essential makeup as humans, and the desire to create something meaningful is a motivation for many.
Why do so many people believe they aren’t creative? Part of it may be the comparison trap, which Wholistic Woman coaches have written about previously. We are too afraid to create because we’re afraid of judgement, whether our own or from others. Certainly many creative people fall into the comparison trap and may lose the desire to create out of a belief that they don’t stack up or that their creativity is inadequate.
Another reason may be that creativity is an act of bravery. It takes courage to create, and to be creative. It takes courage to share your creations with others, which opens you up to potential rejection and criticism. Accessing and utilizing your creativity may at times be frightening, not just for the potential rejection of something you have worked hard on, but also because you are making yourself vulnerable. You’re likely expressing your inner self, inner desires and fears, and those aspects of yourself which are normally kept hidden.
However, once you find yourself tapping into your creativity, don’t you find it hard to stop? That’s because your creativity serves a need within you. It fulfills that desire to create, and allows you to consciously or unconsciously explore different sides of yourself.
How are you creative?
In what ways do you invite creativity into your life?
A common refrain these days is “I don’t have time for that.” We’re all filling our lives with busy: home and school and work and social life and kids and on and on and on. The world, and our daily lives, are filled to the brim with “I’m busy, so I don’t have time.”
Pause. Breathe. Just reading that paragraph probably started flooding your brain with everything you have to accomplish today, or this week, or this month. But I’m going to tell you something revolutionary . . . here it comes . . . you do have time.
Most of us forget that we make time for the tasks, events, and people who we feel are important to us. Our creative pursuits often take a back seat to work because we need to pay our bills, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m guilty of it myself. I haven’t written nearly as much in my books as I had planned because running my own business consumed my life for the last year. But you know what?
I allowed it to.
I allowed work to take over because I felt it was necessary in order to do my job right, and to do it well. So I neglected my writing, and now I’m finding that was a mistake. All self-blame aside, I shouldn’t have let myself do that. That creative endeavor helps to inject creativity into my work, which is an absolute necessity in what I do. By neglecting my creative passion, I had begun to shut myself off to the creative well inside me, and all because I convinced myself I had no time or energy.
We make time for what we consider important in that moment. Of course, some things must and will always take priority, such as caring for children or family members, ensuring a roof over one’s head and food on the table, etc. But do you consider your creative pursuits important? Or have you let them slide in favor of other things?
If you have let your creativity slide, what can you do to bring those pursuits back into your life?
Wholistic Woman Retreats invites you to be courageous with us at the Be Creative Retreat on March 3. Explore your creativity and perhaps even find new ways of expressing your creative side at this full-day signature retreat! Learn about intuitive painting, integrative nutrition, self-compassion power pages, and so much more with our coaches. We look forward to seeing you there! More details and registration here.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media business. She offers social media management, consultations, and training, as well as video filming and editing, proofreading, and manuscript critique services. Kira is also a published author with multiple fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.maiasocial.com
by Carol deLaski | Oct 20, 2017 | Change, Guest Blogging, Kira Tregoning
I struggled this month to come up with a topic for my blog. I found myself coming again and again to the topic of grief and loss. Nothing else seemed quite right, and considering that we’re going into the autumn and winter, perhaps it’s appropriate for this topic to come up now. We are entering the seasons of ending and darkness before we rejuvenate in the spring, and grief is a topic that, while not taboo in our culture, is still discussed too infrequently. And so I would like to share with you my recent experiences with grief and what I’ve learned.
I’ve never experienced a death in my life before. I’ve experienced losses of a different kind, but not death. My family has been fortunate. We’re all fairly healthy, and longevity run in our genes. So I find myself ill-equipped to handle the death of someone I’ve loved and cared for over many years.
I miss being woken in the morning by yells for breakfast. I find myself still calling out a goodbye when I leave the house and then remembering I’m talking to no one. I have difficulties sleeping because her presence isn’t there. The house feels lonelier and quieter without her voice, and I’m more aware of when I’m alone than before. She would crawl on my lap and “help” (i.e., get in the way) when I was working. She would comfort me when I was sad and she never failed to bring a smile to my face. My constant companion for eight years died on September 22.
Unfortunately, I found myself feeling guilty and ashamed because the death I was mourning was that of my cat. While my pet is beloved to me, to other people, she’s “just a cat.” While in the depths of my grief, I heard from multiple people that said grief is misplaced, because I was “just” grieving a cat. While I do not have any children, it feels to me like I have lost my child, and for others to dismiss my grief because I was mourning a cat felt offensive and hurtful. Those feelings were piled on top of the guilt I already felt because I’d had to make the decision to put my cat down, and that decision broke my heart.
But when I related these feelings and how a few people had reacted, a client of mine gave me some very good advice. She said, “Grief is grief, and there’s no timeline for grief.” That was exactly what I needed to hear. Grief is grief, regardless of whether it’s for a person, a pet, or even a situation. We all process grief in different ways, and that grief may last for a few weeks or it may last for years.
Hearing those words helped me to allow myself to feel the grief without the guilt or shame. My grief is my own, and I must process it in the way that’s best for me. I found ways to give myself touchstones to get through the day. In the immediate aftermath, I found myself unable to put down one of her favorite toys. I carried it around in my pocket while at home. My cat used to follow me around the house, and carrying her toy made it feel like she still was. Then I was able to set that aside when the immediate sorrow has lessened and I no longer felt like I needed that particular reminder. Later, I found an Etsy shop that makes affordable custom rings, and their specialty is slim rings with the name of your pet and a paw print stamped onto it. So I bought a ring with my cat’s name. It was the perfect thing I needed to allow my grief to settle.
I still have moments when I feel that grief crashing into me, but it’s getting easier, and the pain is less. My heart will always be scarred for her, but I have ways now that I feel like I will always remember the love and comfort she gave me over eight years, and so the healing has begun.
What has helped you move through loss and grief?
So many people I know have lately been affected by death, whether it’s the death of beloved pets or family members. My good friend’s aging dog died of a heart attack. Two friends I know have had family members succumb to serious illnesses. While volunteering this past week, a phone call came in for the staff with the news that a coworker had passed the previous day.
Each piece of news that comes my way feels like another pebble dropping into the bucket of grief and it grows heavier with the collective sorrow those in my circle are feeling.
If you are experiencing grief or loss, I encourage you to reach out to friends and loved ones. You are not a burden, and your grief is not a burden. The only way out is through.
Grief is grief, and there is no timeline for grief.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, editing, and manuscript critique services. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at www.kiratregoning.com
by Carol deLaski | Jun 23, 2017 | Gratitude, Guest Blogging, Kira Tregoning, Professional Development
This Tuesday was a Tuesday like any other: I got ready for the day, placed my Starbucks coffee order, headed to my BNI meeting and set up the coffee for my group, and began networking. The morning meetings went well and I felt energized and hyped to continue going about my day. After the BNI leadership team meeting, I drove from Frederick over to Mount Airy for another meeting with a new contact.
Again, the meeting went very well. We were even able to sit outside and chat in the cool breeze at a shaded table. It was very pleasant, and I climbed back into my car afterward feeling great about myself and my business.
I decided, since I was in Mount Airy, to stop by the local Jimmie Cone. If you have never heard of Jimmie Cone before, it’s a local ice cream stop with locations in Mount Airy and Damascus, and they’re known for the crunchy “jimmie” sprinkles that go on top of the ice cream. I have many fond childhood memories from when I used to live in Mount Airy of going to Jimmie Cone with my dad and enjoying a cone in the summer evenings. Well, since I had driven up here and had some time, I drove the two minutes over to the Mount Airy location.
I got my ice cream, took the first bite, relaxed into my seat, and took a look around me. Fluffy white clouds floated across a bright blue sky, and despite the busy road being nearby, it was actually pretty quiet in the middle of the day. A breeze tossed my hair away from my face and kept the sunshine from being too oppressive. I put away my phone and took the time to enjoy the beautiful day and my delicious ice cream with the crunchy jimmies (which I rarely allow myself these days). While I had originally only planned on stopping for maybe ten minutes and wolfing down my frozen treat, I ended up stealing half an hour. It was worth every second.
As a relatively new business owner, I struggle with finding the right balance for my days. I’m going into my second year of full-time business, so I’m still working out some of the remaining kinks and striking the right work-play-rest ratio. On advice from multiple seasoned business owners in my circle, I’ve recently begun working hard on my time management and scheduling out my days to make my workload easier to deal with and also to ensure I’m still getting enough time for sleep, exercise, and time with friends and family.
I had attended the Be Balanced event at the end of May with Carol deLaski, and one of the takeaways for me from that event was the reminder to find balance, and if I can’t find it (i.e., if it doesn’t happen naturally), then I need to create it until I do “find” it. And my unexpected Jimmie Cone time was a reminder to build in time for rest and play—or at least, not to feel guilty when those moments pop up.
When I finished my ice cream, I smiled, cleaned up my trash, turned on my car, and drove off to return to my business.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media management and editing business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, editing, and manuscript critiques. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at kiratregoning.com.
