How savvy are you? What does it mean to you to be savvy? Coaches Carol, Laura, and Kelye explore the meaning of being savvy in this tenth podcast episode. Play in your browser with the media player below or click “WWR Coaches Discuss Being Savvy”.
The dictionary defines a life coach as a person who counsels and encourages clients on matters having to do with careers or personal challenges. It is a profession that is uniquely different from consulting, mentoring, therapy, or counseling.
A coach skillfully meets clients where they are and guides them forward, identifying and acting on specific personal and professional goals. Clients may choose to focus on a wide range of topics, some of which are inter-personal skills, relationships, work/life balance, work transitions (such as entering, shifting, or exiting a career)…or life transitions such as empty-nesting, re-entering the workforce, retirement, and much more.
The goal is greater self-awareness so that the client can make the best choices for her/himself. In the coaching conversation we identify what is going on right now, what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choose a course of action to move forward. Coaching always includes action steps and your coach becomes an accountability partner to ensure that you do what you say that you want to do; and if you don’t, then the coach helps you learn why that is.
Many coaching clients are healthy, successful people who might feel a bit stuck, or who want to make a significant change in their lives. They want the support of their own personal coach to shift out of their head and get into action.
The Wholistic Coaching Coalition is a cadre of coaches with a variety of specialties ranging from personal, executive, financial, health, parenting, and leadership development. Our goal is to help people continually evolve into their best selves through personal and professional development activities and programs.
At our ‘Be You’ Evening Retreats certified professional life and business coaches facilitate programs that teach tools and strategies that help women more consistently be their best.
Our unique programs have a coach-approach where we ask powerful questions to help you discover what is best for you! We listen and accept you as you are while encouraging you to grow more into the person you want to be.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a strengths-based executive coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected]
What’s your love language? What fills your cup and makes you feel loved? Coaches Carol, Laura, and Kelye explore the five love languages and how to use them personally and professionally in this ninth podcast episode. Play in your browser with the media player below or click “WWR Coaches Discuss Love Languages”.
What does it feel like to be loved?
Take a moment and think about a time when someone special (maybe a family member, friend or significant other) did something…or said something… that filled your love tank to the brim.
Was it…a hug, a thoughtful gift, an act of service, quality time spent together, or spoken words that filled you up?
When we combine the two words ‘be loved’ it turns into beloved. Does anything change for you as you put the two together?
It does for me. My One Word this year happens to be Beloved. As I have reflected on this word for many months now I’ve noticed two dimensions to it.
The first dimension in inward; it’s about being loved; learning to receive love and to be treasured by another. This year I’ve noticed the many ways that others show, or tell, me how much I mean to them. With this awareness I’m letting more love in and have sometimes found myself overwhelmed and speechless by the expression of genuine caring that others have conveyed to me.
It encourages me that even at the advanced age of 59 I have learned so much about love. Over the past 8 years I have fallen in love, nurtured that love through highs and lows, and moved into a committed relationship with my recent marriage to my longtime sweetheart, Greg. I have learned that you’re never too old to fall in love. I’ve also learned that committed loving relationships take work. Falling in love may be easy but staying in love takes intentional effort. Having tools like our strengths, values, and love languages equips us to understand one another better. I have learned what it means to be treasured by a very special man. That lesson about being his beloved continues each day.
The second dimension is outward; it’s noticing who is beloved to me and how I show the depth of that emotion. I’ve always been a caring person who easily expresses love to others, however, I’ve learned even more lessons about the nature of love this past year. A beloved brother-in-law received a dire health diagnosis last fall. This shocked him and set him, and all who love him, on edge. Suddenly we no longer had a seemingly endless supply of days to spend together stretching over many years ahead. An unclear timeline was placed on us as doctors attempted to set new expectations based upon their knowledge of his illness. Reordering of priorities occurred immediately. Suddenly each day, each moment together had a heightened sense of love. We treasure each laugh, each smile and hug. We know our time is limited and so we make sure that we express love more frequently and clearly. Anticipated loss has opened a walkway to what really matters in life.
Why does it take a frightening diagnosis for us to show someone we love them? What is it about limited time that makes us suddenly appreciate the people we hold dear? Why don’t we do it every day?
Perhaps like you, I’m fortunate to have many people in my life that I love and who love me in return. I don’t want to waste a single day, missing opportunities to show that love…and to show it in ways that they ‘get it’.
The question then becomes, how do we know the most impactful way to give love to those who are important to us…so that it’s well received?
Like many, I tend to assume that others experience love the same way that I do. Because of that tendency, I show love and appreciation in the ways that make the most sense to me. Sometimes my caring expressions fall short, though, and are misinterpreted because the other person speaks a different language.
Dr. Gary Chapman, in his popular books writes of five love languages (also known as appreciation languages in the work place). The premise is straightforward. We each have a love, or appreciation, tank inside of us that needs to be refilled as we give to others. When the tank gets too low we may feel grouchy, needy, and perhaps even desperate for refueling. Just as we need to refill our car’s gas tank to keep it going, we need to know when our love tank is low and in need of refilling.
So, what fills you up? Dr. Chapman, in his many years as a counselor, has identified these primary love, or appreciation, languages:
Apparently, I am not alone in the tendency to express love and appreciation in my own language, which frequently differs from the language of my loved ones. Miscommunication and confusion can occur when the other person doesn’t respond to my expression of appreciation the way that I thought s/he would. It can leave me wondering what’s wrong. I now recognize that I need to speak another language; their appreciation language instead of my own.
You may have heard it said that love is a choice. Sometimes the choice to love is easy and at other times it can be challenging. Using someone’s love/appreciation language is a choice as well. It helps us to be more effective in our relationships.
Common wisdom tells us that humans have an inner drive to be loved and accepted; to belong. It has been said that we’re all searching for love. Gaining a deeper understanding of our personal need for love and appreciation puts us in the driver’s seat to be more intentional about getting those needs met. I believe that knowing what makes you feel loved is a very important element of self-awareness.
In my leadership coaching practice, I focus on developing the strengths of my clients. Research shows that when a person is able to use their natural talents in their work and personal life they are more fulfilled, positive, motivated, and engaged in their life. The same is true when we honor our core values. Lives based on our unique values and strengths evoke a deep satisfaction within us.
I believe our love language has a similar ability to create deep fulfillment. When we learn what makes us feel loved, we more quickly recognize and welcome it. Such knowledge helps us ask for what we need – which increases the likelihood that we will get what we need.
In addition, knowing the love language of the people near and dear to us is like having a set of keys. We know what unlocks the door to their hearts and that allows us to show our love to them in the most impactful ways possible.
Ancient wisdom tells us that love is life’s most precious gift. It is the most important emotion we will experience in our time on earth. Learning how to do it well is a worthy endeavor; whether that’s with a romantic partner, a family member, or a friend. Wholistically, it includes learning to love and accept ourselves, and the God of our understanding, as well as others.
Taking time to show appreciation to those close to me may seem obvious yet I’ve found that I can drift into taking those relationships for granted. I don’t want to do that.
Beyond those people closest to my heart there is a larger circle where I also want to show appreciation. I can use my strengths, values, and knowledge of love languages to express my caring to co-workers, community members, and even strangers that I meet in my daily life.
The choice to show love…appreciation…and caring to another is the most important business that I’m in.
In closing, who do you want to show love to today…and how will you do it?
Feel free to comment or email me with your observations and successes!
An Invitation: As Jack Nicholson said to Diane Keaton in the popular movie, Something’s Gotta Give, “You are a woman to love!” If you want to learn more about applying the five languages of love and appreciation, please join me for an interactive Be Loved Evening Retreat on Aug 29 from 5:30-7:30 pm. Click here for details and registration.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a strengths-based executive coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected]
Read more by Carol deLaski: Finding Love Again
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I just woke up from my sleep study at Frederick Memorial Hospital. I am no stranger to hospitals and staying overnight in a hotel, so that part wasn’t hard. I’m not sure if I’m feeling foggy or fresh… I just know how important our sleep and health are to function in life.
Naturally I am very energetic and have not noticed any decline of energy until my husband brought it to my attention: “Kelye, when you get your physical this year ask them about your sleep.” I did, and the sleep study journey began with a savvy approach.
My word this year is Savvy. This word for me means to be savvy in all I do… personally and professionally. It means to take care of my health and take care of my business pronto. I have always been proactive with my health. I got genetic testing done that led to proactive major surgeries in 2005 and 2011. All done! Not exactly, it seems. We have to keep up and pay attention to all the signs. The newest sign – sleep apnea. This was not on the radar for me.
So to begin this savvy path, I needed a SIMPLE plan, one to make myself clear.
I went to see the doc and got the scoop on what I need to do over age 50. Well, first step was the colonoscopy and then the sleep test. Double doozy but both necessary in my case. I was anxious leading up to these events but now feel in control with confidence once again with the results that come from taking care of yourself.
My personal 3 step plan to keep it simple:
How do you pay attention to your body?
When others give you feedback, do you act or procrastinate?
One way I know I am paying more attention to my body is my breathing. Part of my savvy health plan this year is to do yoga. It helped me tremendously as I breathed in this uncomfortable machine during my overnight sleep test. Some of you know my funny snorkeling story in Cancun from over 30 years ago about how I couldn’t keep up with my friends during an excursion because of my breathing. Well I am working on that 30 years later to just breathe and it seems – get more quality sleep.
As a business coach, I am all about the ACTION plan. I was not thrilled about the process involved in discovering my sleep patterns, but know I am much better off now and happy I didn’t procrastinate. One of my slumber party friends at the hospital said he was getting testing because he just had a stroke—a little different from my visit, as I snore. I said, “Well it looks like whatever is getting in our way, we are taking control of it.” I guess the lesson here for me is it can be much more serious than you think, so ACT.
What are some lessons you have learned about being proactive with your health?
At the end of the day, how you feel impacts you personally and professionally. Pay attention, listen to others to get clear and confident, and create a savvy plan to live the life of your dreams… and maybe get some sleep to enjoy those sweet dreams too. I will be sharing more savvy tips at our Be You, Be Savvy event in 2018. One way you can pay attention to your body is to join us for our upcoming Be Adventurous Scavenger Hunt in Baker Park, Frederick, MD.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com