by Carol deLaski | Jan 22, 2014 | Business, Carol deLaski, Success
What can be the impact of using one theme word for an entire year?
Now that I’ve used, One Word to Change Your Life, with clients, family, and friends for most of 2013, I’ve heard a variety of stories that answer just that question.
For those of you unfamiliar with this approach, the purpose of One Word is to create greater focus as we work, make decisions, and live fulfilling lives.
Different from resolutions or goal setting, One Word is simple, easy to remember, and yet powerful when applied regularly. Using a theme word as a lens throughout the year helps you gain new perspectives and empower you to live a more meaningful life based on your values.
A key component to the One Word process is that you receive it rather than choose it. Listening with your heart, and quieting your mind, your word will come to you from the universe, God, or whatever you call the spiritual energy which exists beyond you.
How do you know when you have your word? Trust your inner knowing and be open to confirmation coming from unexpected sources such as a song on the radio, a flyer in the mail, a street sign, or billboard.
One woman received the word Breathe and wrote to me, “I prayed for a sign that I had the right word and a few days later I was listening to a new radio station when I heard a song that I liked. When I checked to see who it was, the band’s name was ‘Need to Breathe’. I said to myself, Wow, and was thankful for the sign.”
Another wrote that she thought her word was Shepherd yet she doubted it. “I was like, ‘really?’ and so I prayed again, “Give me just one more sign so that I know for sure. While waiting at a stop light on my way to an appointment, I noticed that the lamp posts nearby looked like shepherd hooks. Right at that same moment, the radio station that I listen to played a song about Moses and I knew it was my word. What a sense of humor God has!”
Not all words are faith-based. Other words shared with me this year are:
Observe – this woman used it to notice her husband, children, and friends more to see what they needed, how she could help them, and to simply increase her awareness of what was going on around her.
Surrender – this man used his word to recognize when to delegate and share responsibilities with others. The word is helping him release the driving need to do it all himself and provides a new balanced perspective about teamwork.
Discipline – this woman used her word to focus on her health and children as well as her personal and professional life. It was the antidote for the chaotic feelings that busyness often brought to her life.
Important – this word reminded a young woman to regularly ask herself what’s important. “It helps me to make better, solid decisions.” She feels good about the path she is on as a result of often asking herself, “Is this important?”
I’ve seen a great variety of words used such as: Light, Ask, Journey, Plans, Open, Acceptance, Change, and more. The words Courage and Trust are frequent choices. Each word has helped the individual stretch and grow with a special purpose and meaning that none of us could anticipate when we started. That’s been part of the surprise…. and the impact of this tool.
For myself, I am transitioning away from my word for 2013, Believe, and preparing to receive a new word for 2014. I’ve struggled with my word, at times this year, whenever it uncomfortably spotlighted areas of my unbelief. Yet I have grown fond of it nonetheless and feel a bit reticent to release it.
In a conversation at a dinner party recently I realized that the word is a part of me now and will continue to guide me. This surprisingly deep discussion with a new acquaintance was about spirituality. He shared with me that he’s not religious and doesn’t know what he believes spiritually. As I asked him a series of thought-provoking questions he gained the awareness that his belief in something bigger than himself typically occurs in three situations:
- when he’s in nature and witnesses great beauty
- when synchronistic events occur and he knows that it happened for a reason
- and the last one was a bit humorous…when taking a test! Almost without thinking he praised the Lord when he recently received a good grade on a professional competency test. As he told me about it I was reminded of the old adage that there are no atheists in foxholes (or in classrooms). We both laughed as he found these insights into his own beliefs in this brief exchange.
As for me, I’m glad to know that the word Believe is an integral part of me now and will always be a lens through which I experience life and encourage others. I’m especially looking forward to see its ongoing impact as I publish my book Lost and Found in 2014. I’m curious to see the ripples that it will send out into the world and believe that it will be good. With confidence I can now look forward to a new year, a new word, and new growth.
What word are you receiving for 2014?
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a certified coach and author who will be presenting a workshop “Create Focus and Success with One Word” on January 23rd. If you are curious to learn more about this powerful tool and how to use it with teams, organizations, or individually go to www.caroldelaski.com for details and to pre-register. This workshop is sponsored by Frederick County Society for HR Management and is open to the public.
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 10, 2014 | Laura Hall
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”-Lewis Carroll
We are now about half way through the first month of 2014. I’m curious, have you thought about what you would like your life you look like in 2014? Do you know what direction you are headed in this year?
As a life coach, I believe it’s important to know where you want to go, because as the quote above reminds us, if you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.
But, how do you know where you want to go? Often in my life, I feel confused about where I want to go. My life sometimes feels like a giant vacation to Disneyworld and I can’t decide if I want to start at the Magic Kingdom or Animal Kingdom. So let’s say I choose Magic Kingdom, then that opens up more options…Where do we want to eat? Cinderella’s Royal Table?…The Crystal Palace?…Liberty Square Market?…The chioces can feel endless. Next comes the decision about what rides to ride. Do we want to start Space Mountain or It’s a Small World? Dumbo or the Tea Cups? Hopefully by now you get the point. Knowing where we want to go in life can frequently feel overwhelming and confusing.
So, to clear things up a little, I’d like to offer you 3 helpful steps you can use to design a 2014 of your choosing.
- Look back – For this step, I actually pull out my calendar as well as the pictures that I took over the last year. While I’m looking at where I’ve been, I am asking myself the questions:
- What worked for me last year that I want to carry with me into the coming year?
- What didn’t work that I want to let go of?
- What achievement and/or milestones did I reach?
- What goals did I set for myself that I didn’t reach?
- Look forward – I remember reading Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” many years ago, and the habit I use during this step is: Begin with the end in mind. I imagine myself during the first week of January a year from now and ask myself the following questions:
- What needs to happen this year in order for me to feel like I’ve had a successful year?
- Who do I want to be by the end of 2014? What character traits are important for me to develop or nurture?
- What changes do I want to make?
- Get into action – this step is about getting my ideas off paper and into the real world. This is where I set goals, tell my friends and family about what I hope to do in 2014 and who I hope to be, so they can help hold me accountable. I also pull out my calendar and start scheduling the things that are going to help steer me in the right direction.
As a recovering perfectionist, I find it necessary to remind myself that it’s about progress, not perfection. The value of setting goals and looking toward the future is in using it as a guiding star, not necessarily always reaching that destination. Life has been known to knock me off my planned path a time or two and what I’ve noticed is that 9 times out of 10 it was a course correction in a direction that was actually better for me! I do trust that my life is divinely guided! And even more important than what I am doing and how many things I am accomplishing, is who I am being in the process.
If you’d like to map out a plan for your 2014, I invite you to join me at Wholistic Woman Retreats first “retreat” of 2014. Our theme for the year is “Be Serene in 2014” and our first event is an evening workshop at Holly Hills Country Club in Ijamsville,MD on January 22nd titled, “Creating Your Vision for 2014”. For details click here! Don’t delay as the registration deadline is just a few days away on January 15th! Hope to see you there, and here’s to a serene 2014!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Dec 11, 2013 | Laura Hall
“Go 24 hours without complaining. (Not even once.) Then watch how your life starts changing”
I saw this on Facebook the other day and it really struck a chord with me. You see, I believe that complaining has become a habit for many of us, and Iike most habits I think that it is probably easier to see complaining in other people than in ourselves.
Elizabeth Scott, MS writes in her article titled, “Why Do We Complain? And When Should We Stop?”, that there are several reasons why we are prone to complaining. One reason is the need to vent. When I think of venting, I think of the bottle of seltzer water I drink on a regular basis. When I unscrew the cap, there is an immediate release of pressure and then it is over. (Unless the bottle gets shaken up again) If you are venting, that’s great and will feel an immediate sense of relief, but if you are just complaining to complain, that’s a bad habit and I think for most of us, its a habit to complain.
According to Elizabeth, another reason we complain is because validation feels good. We all want to feel normal, and it feels good to hear someone else say, “Yeah, I know, I’d be upset too if that happened to me”.
She goes on to list several more reasons why we complain, including that complaining to others opens us up to solutions from others and may give us another perspective, and that complaining gets things done (I’m personally thinking about my husband here and how that can be true about when I complain about things like the trash needing to be taken out).
So while we may have good reasons for why we complain, the question I’ve been asking myself is, “What’s the cost of complaining?”. And that brings me back to the challenge posted on FB. One way we can find out the cost of something is to stop doing it and see what comes to us as a result. 24 hours without complaining…Since I’m generally a positive person and I don’t think I complain much to begin with, 24 hours seems relatively easy for me. I’m going to try a week without complaining. Today is Wednesday December 11th, 2013 and I am committing to myself, with you all as my witnesses, to go 1 week without complaining. So if you run into me in the next week and you hear me complaining, please remind me of my commitment. I’d love to have some company on this journey into non-complainingdom (yes, I made up that word). Who wants to join me? How long would you like to try not complaining? Let’s see how our lives will change 🙂 Maybe we will start a trend!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Dec 4, 2013 | Carol deLaski, Change, Family, Holidays, Personal Development
What do you anticipate at this time of year? Amid the hustle and bustle of preparing for the holidays, what are the experiences that will make you pause and savor the moments? It’s easy to become so preoccupied with our to-do lists that we overlook or brush past those precious times of connection, laughter, and joy. Don’t miss it!
Perhaps you are like me and find yourself anticipating the look on someone’s face when you give them a gift that you’ve thoughtfully selected for them. For me, it will be giving the ‘Elf on the Shelf’ to my six-year-old granddaughter.
Shopping isn’t one of my favorite things to do, but when it comes to shopping for the children in my life, I must admit that I have trouble restraining myself. It happened recently when I was in a store and saw this whimsical elf on display. It caught my eye and brought a smile to my face, and I knew in an instant that it would have the same effect on my granddaughter. As I write this, I can picture her eager face as she enjoys the challenge of this game, which is to find the hidden elf in her home each day leading up to Christmas.
Looking forward to spending time together fills my heart with anticipation even more than gift giving does. This year, in addition to the Elf on the Shelf, I plan to make a gingerbread house with my granddaughter. I can picture her enthusiastic bright eyes as we put the puzzle pieces of the house together, sticky fingers being licked, gumdrops being carefully placed, and the feeling of her slender arms wrapped around my neck in a hug hold, as we survey the masterpiece we have created together. It doesn’t really matter how the gingerbread house looks. The joy is in those moments of fun, creativity, and connection as a new memory is being made. Who knows…perhaps it will even become a tradition.
The way in which holiday traditions form is an interesting phenomenon. There is comfort found in the routines which link one holiday to another; year in and year out. As a child, I remember wanting to hang a certain mistletoe ornament in the same place every year when we decorated our home. There was something very satisfying about recreating the atmosphere in which our family celebrated together.
As an adult, however, I was caught off guard when my children declared traditions had been started simply because we did something two years in a row. I realized that I needed to be mindful of what activities I repeated, since I never knew which ones they would take to heart and want to repeat annually! My sons had a strong desire to create our family’s unique traditions, many of which continue now that they are young adults. They can easily tell you the kind of tree we get, the cookies we bake, the way we open gifts, and what we eat on Christmas morning. It’s not so much what we do but that we do it together that matters. Our hearts are warmed when we both anticipate and perform our family’s rituals.
There is a flip side, however, to the happiness that traditions can invoke. During difficult years of upheaval and change, traditions may need to be altered. In my lifetime, separation and divorce dictated that we couldn’t continue certain ways of doing things. This occurred when my sons were young teenagers, and I remember how important it was to ask them what traditions they wanted to keep as our family went through this change. It was interesting to learn which ones no longer mattered to them. Having a say in the changes helped my children tremendously in adapting to new situations. My older son, Patrick, could care less about outdoor decorations, but my younger son, Ben, really enjoyed them. So a new tradition was formed that Ben and I became the two family members that decorated the outside of our home each year. Patrick loved a freshly cut tree, but instead of going to the farm and cutting it down ourselves, we adjusted to buying one from the Boy Scouts. Adaptations to our traditions were made, and we even formed new ones as our family evolved as a trio.
Knowing how and when to change traditions is as important as being aware of how and when they form. A dear friend of mine lost her mother to cancer this year. This will be her first Christmas without her mom, who was also her best friend. I admire how she has thoughtfully decided where she wants to be on this holiday, and with whom she wants to spend it. She knows that she will miss her mom no matter where she is, but she feels that being somewhere that her mom loved, and with the people her mom loved, will help her to connect with the spirit of the woman she longs for. Adapting her family traditions this year is what she needs to do to manage her sense of loss and grief.
Changing traditions can cause distress within families, particularly when everyone may not agree about those changes. Ultimately, we must each decide for ourselves what we need to create the comfort and connection that our hearts desire. No one knows better than you what will satisfy you to your core. Even if others don’t agree with your choices, I encourage you to persevere and choose the experiences and moments that will fill and overflow your heart with love.
Because a heart full of love is ultimately what this season of the year is all about. Love came down at Christmas and continues to come to us in many forms. My wish for you is that you will feel the light of love in your life as you capture the special moments this season has to offer.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a life leadership coach, author, and speaker. You may contact her at [email protected].
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 27, 2013 | Fitness, Health, Nutrition, Sandie Lynch
Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to spend time with friends and family and take time to express gratitude for our blessings. This practice of celebrating for blessings has existed since our creation and was encouraged by our creator. These festivals would last for days and sometimes even a month. Celebration in gratefulness is always a great practice to focus on what is good in our lives and minimize those situations that frustrate or discourage.
With that said, one source of stress is the very fact that Thanksgiving and the holidays always seem to be celebrating with LOTS of delicious foods that are tempting for those who are striving to obtain or maintain a healthy lifestyle. The challenge is the ability to participate and enjoy the foods without feeling like we blown the bank and/or trigger going back into old habits. Some researchers have estimated that the typical Turkey dinner with all the trimmings can provide 3500 to 5000 calories. This is not including any other foods or appetizers prior to the meal.
Another concern is that after consuming such a large meal our activities are usually sedentary; sitting on the couch watching football or lying down to take a nap because of the “food comma” that follows. This could lead to gaining about ½ pound or more. Now that doesn’t sound like much but when it takes the average person 7 days to lose ½ pound it could lead us to feel stuck in the scenario; “Two steps forward, one step back.” Another aspect to consider is biochemical analysis has discovered our activity following a meal can impact how that food is used and stored. For example, when we are sedentary after a meal in excess of our needs we are more likely to store fat, but when we are active after the meal, like taking a walk, our food is used for energy instead.
The question lies, how can we get through Thanksgiving and the Holidays without gaining extra fat and frustration by the very foods we are celebrating with?
Here are a few strategies to consider or maybe try some of your own.
- Set up the Meal Buffet Style separate from sitting. Eating family style with the bowls of food sitting in front of us increase the likeliness of second servings without thinking. When we have to make the conscious decision to get up for that second helping we may find we don’t really want it and decide against it.
- Don’t deprive yourself of your favorite foods. Studies show that when we do, it usually triggers us to over eat later when our will power is low. Go ahead and enjoy, just make the portions smaller.
- Use smaller plates. We tend to eat 30% more food if given a larger plates or bowls. Therefore, set out smaller plates for the meal; try 9 ½ inch plates verses the typical 11 ½. You may even consider doing this on a regular basis as part of your healthy lifestyle.
- Drink plenty of water. The Thanksgiving meal is usually high in carbohydrates and carbohydrates need water to metabolize. Therefore, drinking water helps the body be more efficient. Also, water can help wash out flavors from your mouth that are “calling you” to get more.
- Engage in fun activities that require movement using the meal for energy. Play a game of Wii, or a game of touch football in the yard, or maybe take a walk. Even just getting up and moving during commercials can help use that food.
- Laugh! Tell stories or play games that are silly such as Pictionary or Charades. As I shared in my blog: Laughter is Incredibly Good Medicine laughing 100 times is equivalent to 10 minutes on a rowing machine or 15 minutes on the stationary bicycle.
- Embrace Balance. Don’t be discouraged if the Thanksgiving meal leaves you feeling like a sack of potatoes. One meal does not need to be the trigger to sabotage your wellness goals throughout the holidays. Remember that every meal is an opportunity to balance the ones not in alignment with your goals. Don’t sweat it or beat yourself up, just balance it, for this is truly the path of living a balanced life of “Wholistic Wellbeing!
Summary: Thanksgiving and the Holidays are a time of celebration and fun. Choose to embrace strategies that create balance in self-care, health, and overall Wholistic Wellbeing. Finding steadfast balance is only done after learning to stay standing on shaking ground. For when we embrace balance to feel our best and live our best life. Celebrate, Enjoy, Balance, and Thrive!
Today’s author: Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, Personal Development Coach and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sandie provides private coaching and group fitness classes sharing 5 Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age!
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