by Carol deLaski | Sep 28, 2015 | Change, Donna Kettell, Personal Development, Professional Development
4 Steps to Help You Bring Your Vision to Reality
Have you ever wanted something in your life yet didn’t know how to begin to bring it into reality? Most likely, each day, there is something that we each would like to change or enhance about our lives. Whether we desire a much needed career change, a more satisfying significant relationship, a physical body that is pounds lighter and toned, or perhaps it’s a more balanced life with more joy and less stress! Whatever it might be, I have found that a personal visualization practice can help to manifest what you desire in your life.
I have made visualization a daily intention and have incorporated it into my coaching practice as a significant way to help others get focused on what they really want in their lives and, then bring those things into realization. It can definitely be a practice that works hand in hand with meditation, prayer and a positive outlook.
You may have heard the term visualization before but are wondering, what exactly is visualization? It’s a powerful tool that allows you to use your imagination to create a clear focused image of what you want in your life. And then, by focusing on it often, and sincerely believing in it, you will be able to manifest those things in life.
Let’s talk about some of the key steps of visualization.
First, relax to ensure the most effective visualization.
Quiet your mind from thinking about your to do list for a little bit. Do some deep breathing and relax your whole body. Research has shown that when we relax, our brain wave pattern changes from beta level to alpha level. The alpha level is found to be more effective in creating change through the visualization process.
Second, use your imagination to create a vivid picture of what you want in your life.
What does that look like? Picture yourself with your goal realized, as if it is really happening. How does it make you feel when you think about having that in your life? Create as many details as possible about it – use all of your senses – how does it look, sound, smell, feel, etc.
Third, focus on the picture you have created regularly, believing in your visualization.
When you first wake up and right before you go to sleep tend to be very productive times to visualize because you are in a more relaxed state then. However, you can do it as often as you like throughout the day.
Fourth, create positive statements, called affirmations, to shift any limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from realizing what you want in your life.
Affirmations work best when they are positive, concise and stated in the present tense.
A few examples of affirmations are, “I am joyful and balanced and can have all I want in my life”. “I am healthy and fit”. “I live a happy exciting life!”
Affirmations will help you to shift your doubts, fears and worry and get in a more powerful positive mindset. They allow you to focus on thoughts that support your vision rather than focusing on the reasons that you might have thought you could not create what you wanted to bring into your life.
Visualizing positive outcomes and picturing them as if they are currently happening is really empowering and has given me and my coaching clients the ability to embrace challenges in a more positive light. And, by being intentional in creating daily positive affirmations, I have seen my energy level for working through challenging situations increase and my ability to be successful in reaching goals strengthened. At times, I am still amazed at how much more easily things fall into place when I use visualization. The practice of visualization can quickly shift my mindset and then change the way I approach the things I set out to do each day. I am excited about the energy shift that visualization provides. When you feel energized with a positive outlook, you can accomplish amazing things every single day.
As you can probably tell, I have a true passion for this topic because it has brought wonderful things into my life seemingly effortlessly. I would love to share my experiences and provide you with some easy yet powerful tools to bring a daily visualization practice into your own life!
If you are ready to bring the things that you most desire into your life now, I am offering a workshop series beginning October 26th. For details on the workshop visit: http://visualizationtorealization.gr8.com/
If you have any questions about the workshop series, this blog, or other coaching opportunities, I would welcome the opportunity to talk with you! Please feel free to reach out to me directly —
Donna Kettell, Certified Professional Coach
Wholistic Woman Retreats, Affiliate Coach
Founder, Kettell Coaching [email protected]
410 978 3492
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 3, 2015 | Change, Jeanette Eleff, Retreats
“I just don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life.” This is the declaration I had just heard from the beautiful, forty-something woman sitting across the table from me. For the sake of this article I will refer to this woman as “Cathy”.
Cathy had a successful upper level management career, but she had reached a crossroad in her life – her sons were moving out of the house and her image as a mother and wife was changing. She was feeling down because her next move was unknown and not planned out. Cathy came to me to seek the support of a life coach to help her figure out her life’s desires.
Cathy’s situation was not unusual. I had heard her story many, many times from other women: “I don’t know what I want to do; I am not in touch with what will bring me joy; I don’t even know what joy looks like.”
The first step we took in our work together was to give Cathy permission to slow down and take the time to really think about what she wanted in her life. She personalized definitions for words that were foreign to her like joy and fun. She created her own meaning for “Fabulousity” and she created tools that spoke her vision language and kept her dream of an adventurous life in front of her. We worked and danced as coach and life-student for one year and our blueprint was always her personalized life vision.
Today Cathy is beaming with her own Fabulousity: she has fun with her photography, she weathered a relationship breakup and bought a beautiful home, she goes on adventures daily and she is embracing the role as a new grandmother. Cathy has found her joy – it all began when she took the time to craft out her life’s vision.
You too can be like Cathy – beaming with Fabulousity! Everything you want to manifest in your life begins with a vision. Slow down and take the time to join me and the Wholistic coaches on Wednesday, September 30 at 5:15 as I present Be Fabulous – In Your Life’s Vision. I’ll review my top strategies that you can follow to get in touch with what you really want your life to look like – regardless of where you are now. I’ll also share some creative ways, including a vision board, in which you can keep your fabulous vision of your life in front of you. You will walk away with a piece of your Fabulousity – what a great way to approach 2016! Click here if you’d like to register for this ‘Fabulous’ event.
Be Fabulous!
Jeanette
Today’s author: Jeanette Eleff, with Focused Vitality, is a success coach who helps people identify their vision for a successful life and/or business. She then shows them how to stay focused on the activities and mindsets that will help them achieve their goal.
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2015 | Carol deLaski, Change, Retreats
Are you being all that you were created to be?
Sometimes I answer this question with a resounding YES! It’s usually when I feel that I’m having a positive impact on my world and others….when I’m using my God-given talents to be and do my best.
All too often, though, the answer to the question is a definite NO. Admittedly, in my humanity, I fall short of being my best on a regular basis. An inner, self-critical voice frequently tells me how I am not measuring up and never will. If I listen to the voice too closely I begin to believe that I shouldn’t even try. It tells me to play safe and small, not to speak up, and not to take risks.
Fortunately, I have learned how to manage my inner critic. I listen to it only to the extent of admitting that I didn’t do my best and that I could do better….and then I turn to curiosity and ask myself how I could improve next time. I maintain an open mind and consciously let go of self-judgment to try to learn from my shortfalls.
With this mindset, my life is a series of ups and downs that provide me with joy when things are going well, and life lessons when things are disappointing and hard. Perhaps the same is true for you.
At the heart of my growth process is self-awareness, or consciousness. I believe that the best way to navigate the highs and lows of life is by knowing, loving, and accepting ourselves….and when our ability to do that falls short, to trust that there is a Higher Power/God, who knows, loves and accepts us.
An important perspective is acknowledging that I am a work-in-progress. Rather than harshly berating myself when I make mistakes, I have learned to treat myself like I would a good friend. I can change the channel of that voice in my head to a station that speaks loving-kindness and affirmations that encourage rather than discourage me. Listening to that channel doesn’t remove the disappointment that I feel with myself, but it motivates me to learn and grow from a source of compassion and helps me release criticism.
As a professional coach I teach, and use many tools to develop self-awareness. One of the best tools I’ve found is Gallup’s Strengths Finder assessment, which provides individuals information about their top 5 talents. When we make an effort to learn about our talents, and practice using them effectively, they become strengths – characteristics that we can consistently use to produce positive outcomes at work and in life overall.
Each of our strengths has a light and dark side. The light side refers to those times when our strengths are serving us well and bringing about those positive outcomes I referred to above. The dark side, by contrast, is when our strengths do not serve us well. It’s important to know the warning signs when we are starting to drift into the shadow side of our strengths so that we can self-correct and return to the light side.
I will give you a couple of examples:
My top strength is Empathy. Gallup defines this strength as an ability to sense other’s emotions. I define it as being highly sensitive and tuned-in on an emotional level. Some might call it emotional intelligence. When my strength is serving me well, I am able to meet others where they are and connect with them on an emotional level to support them in the way that is best for them at that moment. This sixth sense helps me understand the emotional climate of an individual or a group, sometimes with a deeper awareness than they themselves may have. I drift into the shadows when I lose sight of the healthy boundaries between me and someone else and I actually take on their feelings. I can lose myself in another person’s emotional landscape by caring too much. This isn’t beneficial for me or the other person, so I have learned how to create boundaries that help me to be a successful coach to others and fully present and well-balanced in my own life.
I’ve spoken to many clients who have the strengths of Achiever and Responsibility. These people know how to get things done and they do it with a great attitude. They enjoy checking things off a mental or physical list and get great satisfaction from tasks being completed. They are ‘can-do’ people and are crucial to have on your team because they will ‘get it done’. That’s the good side. The dark side is that they can overwhelm themselves with how much there is to do and get stuck there; they can risk burning out by trying to do it all; or they can overstep boundaries and do things that other people need to do. A perfect example is a parent who needs to refrain from picking up after a child in order to teach her how to do it herself. We know that if we always do tasks for our children they won’t learn to become responsible adults and the same is true in other areas of our lives.
Another strength of mine is called Developer, which Gallup defines as having the desire and ability to help others reach their full potential. In my life, I’ve been able to express this strength in a variety of ways…as a teacher, a parent, and a professional coach. I feel deep satisfaction when I can support a client, friend, or loved one in being brave and taking the next step in their personal growth…in their lifelong journey to wholeness. The dark side of this strength is when I can see what’s possible (and my Strategic strength can see how to get there), but I’m way ahead of the other person. I need to remind myself that we each grow at our own pace, and wake up to consciousness when we are ready. I can provide fertile soil for growth but each seedling sprouts and grows in its own time. I must remember to respect each person’s pace, whether it is swift or, to me, excruciatingly slow.
I was inspired recently by an article written by Sandie Lynch, a friend and coach colleague. She shared 6 steps to develop self-worth and feel complete (or whole). They were all helpful, yet one especially resonated with me. It was the reminder to embrace our uniqueness.
Sandie states: “There are no two people who are the same. Each of us has unique gifts and talents which we possess when we are born. Our experiences develop our talents into strengths that when applied makes our part of the world a better place. Trust that you make a difference!”
I believe that knowing and developing your talents into strengths which you can consistently use for the benefit of yourself and others is pivotal to realizing your full potential and being your best.
How will you know, like, and trust your strengths more?
Here are two suggestions to start (or continue) you on that lifelong journey.
1) Change your inner critic to an inner coach. Cultivate core honesty with yourself, which is grounded in love and self-acceptance. Encourage yourself instead of discouraging yourself by treating yourself as you would a dear friend.
2) Learn about your strengths…both the light and dark sides… and practice ways to self-correct when you drift into the shadows. Draw healthy boundaries around them so that they make positive contributions and don’t overwhelm yourself or others.
I deeply believe that you are designed by God to be uniquely special. It is my hope that you will develop your inner strengths to be your best in all areas of your life.
An invitation: If you would like to learn more about being whole and living into your best self please join us for a Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat, Be Complete, led by Coach Sandie Lynch on 8/26 from 5:30-7 pm. Click here for details and to register.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC is a speaker, author, and coach who specializes in strengths development for individuals, businesses, and teams. You may contact her at [email protected] to arrange a complimentary call to see how strengths training can help you or your organization.
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 12, 2015 | Courage, Kelye Rouse-Brown
I declare today my brave day. Everyone has one of those days, right?
Today is the 4th anniversary of being a breast cancer survivor and taking charge of my health and future. What a journey it has been and today I reflect on the day. I wonder…when you go through something major in your life does it add a protective shield or a layer of “I can do anything” to who you are?
Four years ago, I underwent a thirteen hour procedure. Today I think about the timing of it all. The prepping for surgery, removal of my cancer, and reconstruction lasted half a day. Pretty amazing when you think about it! I think of the competent surgeons and nurses, and my friends and family on the sidelines. I think about how I was treated during the day. I have very clear memories of everything that happened before I went under anesthesia.
I had a team of people present with me before going into surgery. My team consisted of my sister-in-laws, Tobi and Linda, my Dad and stepmom Gail, my godmother Joan, my oldest high school friend Rachel, and of course, my supportive husband Steve. I would have loved for my mom to be there but she was not healthy enough to be at the hospital with us. My mom had been battling ovarian cancer for ten years prior to my diagnosis – a huge milestone for anyone with that type of cancer. She was my model for bravery. Now it was my time to fight!
As I reflect, I wonder…Why was I so brave and relaxed? Let’s see:
- My support team of family and friends by my side
- My competent surgeons and staff on hand
- My own positive mental attitude
My fight was planned from the start when my mother and I were diagnosed with the genes associated with hereditary breast and ovarian cancer called BRCA1. I had a 50% chance of carrying the mutation, so it wasn’t a total shocker to test positive for it. In fact, my breast cancer detection was caught early. I was at stage zero. It doesn’t get better than that!
My surgery lasted 13 hours but really this event of mine will last a lifetime. I think when you’ve experienced something of this magnitude you earn the right to have a brave day. That’s how I see it and why I declare today that day for me!
Do you have a day you can declare your brave day?
Just weeks ago I did something brave at our Wholistic Woman Adventure Retreat – Be Courageous. I faced a new challenge called The Leap of Faith. The picture you see in this post is me at the top of The Leap of Faith. As I climbed a 22 foot pole, one step at a time, to reach the top and stand tall, I was reminded of my brave day. The same components were in place. I had a supportive coaching team and community, a competent staff, and most of all, my positive attitude!
Four years ago I underwent a major, life changing event. I think about the protective shield that I now carry with me as a result of “my brave day”, and realize it is what prepares me for all the challenges ahead. Challenges like The Leap of Faith as well as challenges still yet to come. If you’d like inspiration to declare your brave day, check out our photo gallery of brave women participating in ‘Be Courageous’ by clicking here.
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate are what help her clients develop, spark action and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 5, 2015 | Change, Sandie Lynch
A few days ago some friends and I were discussing going back in time to teenage years. I confessed that I would never want to relive my younger years because of the growth and wisdom I now embrace. Long gone are the thoughts of not feeling I was enough! Now, I wake up every day feeling grateful and excited about who I am and what I share with the world. I am passionate about encouraging others to discard false beliefs that keep them quiet, feeling unworthy, and living small. I want people to live brave, bold, and full; being every bit of who they were created to be!
Just a short history of my journey. I grew up in a low-social economic home. My mom and dad were raised as farmers and were extremely hard workers. They refused to live with debt, therefore, we never bought a new car, expensive clothes, or had expensive toys. Growing up in an area where many of our neighbors had all the above, some kids can be cruel, condemning those who don’t have the latest and greatest and this is what happened to me. The result of this condemnation at an age too young to understand, I embraced numerous false lies.
As a child, I believed that my mom and dad were not good enough or smart enough to provide my sisters and me with nice things, and therefore thought that I too must be from the same mold. My favorite fairy tale was Cinderella because I believed that if I was pretty enough, my knight-in- shining armor would save me from my impoverished life. Unfortunately, as I grew older I struggled with my weight and so the dream and belief of being pretty enough was foiled. I worked so hard to be perfect… to be enough! Others would compliment me but deep inside my beliefs were that I would never be smart enough, good enough, or pretty enough…for something! I felt that no one would really like me if they knew the real me, therefore, I had to be someone else, someone who had it all together! I’m sure you can see how this turned out…not well…at least until I learned and believed the truth, that the only person I could be was me! I am now a firm believer that we attract into our lives what we believe we are and deserve. Looking back now it was like I was asking for people to manipulate, disrespect, and criticize me, because that is what I expected.
To shorten the story, on my 41st birthday I found myself separated from the love of my life and with no friends or family to remember my birthday. It was a sad, lonely, and desperate time, but out of it came a ray of hope and some valuable lessons that shaped me for a life full of passion to shout from the roof tops: each and every person is enough and has everything necessary and accessible to be complete!
If you struggle with similar false beliefs that keep you living small, here are a few strategies that transformed me; I pray that these move you from feeling “not enough” to realizing you are “COMPLETE!”
As we begin, I would like to share the definition of Complete: to have all the necessary or appropriate parts.
1. Embrace Uniqueness! There are no two people who are the same. Each of us has unique gifts and talents which we possess when we are born. Our experiences develop our talents into strengths that when applied makes our part of the world a better place. People in our lives are positively impacted when we invest our talents and strengths for the good of others. No other person can make the same impact in the exact same way. Trust that you make a difference!
2. There are No Mistakes! I’m sure all of us at one time or another could look back on our lives and shake our head and say, “That was really stupid!” There is a big difference between saying that and thinking, “I’m stupid!” I believe we are all on the journey of growing wisdom. We can only make our decisions based on the wisdom that we have in that particular moment. When we embrace each situation as the necessary “teacher” for our growing wisdom, we learn to look for the learning objective in each difficulty as research for our “Doctorate” in life!
3. Avoid Comparison! I (and everyone I know) am my own worst critic. We tend to always focus on what we don’t like about our lives, body, and/or self. Matters get even worse when we compare our lives or qualities to others we admire or want to emulate. We never measure up, because we are not supposed to! Going back to strategy one, we are unique, and our lives are not to be like anyone else’s. We are to create our own story; embrace and develop our gifts and talents into strengths to touch the lives around us.
4. Receive and Offer Grace and Forgiveness. When the critic inside shows up, review strategies 1, 2, and 3! When we learn how to provide grace and forgiveness to ourselves, it becomes easier to offer it to others. We are all on the same journey to feel and be complete and it makes it much more enjoyable when our company is supportive and encouraging verses judging and condemning…even if it is just yourself for now!
5. Share Your Gifts. We are made for connection! Research shows our bodies and lives thrive when we have positive social connection. Our level of stress decreases when we reach out to others in loving ways. When we share our gifts, talents, strengths and life lessons to serve, comfort, encourage, teach, and/or guide others for their greater good, a funny thing happens…we are the ones blessed by it. Pay attention to the things you share with others that expand your energy, joy, and fullness in your heart. These are the things the world needs, and only you in your unique way can give!
6. Live Fully Complete through Love. Each and every one of us has what we need to feel and live fully complete. Love is the key! Initially, love of self; by recognizing the amazing creation we are in all our uniqueness to serve and touch our part of the world! Our lives forever change those lives we touch. I know you are shaking your head at this last strategy thinking I’ve gone too far, but keep in mind one of the favorite Christmas movies played over and over every year is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You are making your impact on the world right now. Start embracing that you are made fully complete when you accept, embrace, and share unconditional love with each unique soul you meet.
If you want to know more about how to live a full, joyous, and complete life, please contact me for a coaching series to help you live and Be Complete! If local to the Frederick, Maryland area, please join me and the Wholistic Woman Retreats community on Wednesday, August 26th 2015 at 5:30 pm for our ‘Be You’ Evening Retreat and an introduction to Be Complete. Click here for details.
Written by Sandie Lynch MS, RDN, LDN, Registered Dietitian, Personal Trainer, and Wholistic Wellbeing Coach. Owner and CEO of ATP Consultants, LLC. Sharing 5 Key Principles to Attain Top Performance in living your best life at any age! Check out ATP Fitness to “Maximize” your 2015. Learn, practice, and embrace the strategies that will build Wholistic Wellbeing for life! Contact Sandie via email at [email protected]
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