by Carol deLaski | Aug 7, 2017 | Happiness, Kelye Rouse-Brown
Lean towards joy and listening and away from giving advice.
This was a great headliner to learning about positivity and happiness in An Introduction to Positive Psychology with Dr. Maria Sirois in beautiful Berkshires, MA. My oldest and dearest friend joined me and now we make an effort to fill our happy bucket year after year, like earlier in May when we celebrated our milestone birthdays together in Rhode Island. We savored the crashing water against the rocks along the cliff walk and enjoyed the historical mansions.
Another magical time in the month of May was my first hot air balloon ride that took my breath away with more special gems in my life. We just floated in the air and didn’t even feel the take-off, much different than my usual airplane rides. The pilot was so cool, it was like being carried away with the great Oz from the Wizard of Oz. I fell in love with Santé Fe, NM on a higher level. It seems when you take the time to plan for happy events, they will happen… the sky’s the limit, and life can be more joyful.
What happy events do you have planned?
Positive psychology was referred to as the scientific study of optimal human functioning and officially launched as a field in 1998. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar was highly talked about at the retreat and he first taught a seminar at Harvard on this fairly new topic in 2002 with eight students enrolled and two dropped out. The objective of the class was what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives. The following year the class went public and 380 students signed up. The evaluations showed the class improved the quality of one’s life. Well, the next time the class was offered it grew to 855 students enrolled, which made it the largest class at Harvard University.
What education class are you most looking forward to learn, grow, and feel happier?
There are many definitions for both positive psychology and the science of happiness, but the simple answer is that positive psychology is a subset within the broader field we call the science of happiness. Positive Psychology focuses largely on the study of positive emotions and the science of happiness focuses on areas such as exercise and psychological well-being.
The topic is very popular and soon after our retreat in the Berkshires, my next education event followed up with more Positive Psychology and I was introduced to Valorie Burton, Founder of the Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute. I loved her spirit and presentation. One of my favorite parts of her presentation was her happiness boosters. You might consider taking her online happy woman test by going to happywomantest.com and find out your top triggers to boost your happiness. It only takes about 10 minutes and you will learn your happiness quotient that you can focus on for improvement over time. For example, anticipation is great when you have something to look forward to, like a trip to Rhode Island with an old girlfriend or a flight like no other. Here are Valorie Burton’s 13 happiness boosters:
- Play
- Purpose
- Gratitude
- Savoring
- Relaxation
- Flow
- Service
- Smile
- Connection
- Movement
- Winning Words
- Financial Savvy
- Anticipation
What happiness boosters are you most satisfied with? What would you like more of?
After taking the happiness test, some of my top boosters were gratitude, smile, and service. These and more will be discussed further at my upcoming Be You series session, Be Positive, on August 30th at Brewer’s Alley. Come join us and be reminded to pause and savor life’s joys. I look forward to sharing a happy retreat with you!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 4, 2017 | Laura Hall
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing” ~ George Bernard Shaw
I turned 50 this year and as a gift to myself, my family, and my friends, I took the time to put together a list of 50 things I’ve learned over 50 years. You can click here if you’d like to read the entire list 🙂
#18 on the list was “Don’t forget how to play and have fun!”.
I am naturally a playful person. I love being silly and make it a point to not take myself too seriously. My nickname is “Fun-sized” and while this might have to do with my physical stature – I stand 5’ 1/2” on a good day – I also think it comes from the fact that I make a point to build fun and play into my life on a regular basis. As kids, we all knew how to play…it just came naturally, but somewhere along the line, many of us either forget how to play or we stop making is a priority. Why is that? Is it because we are self-conscious and worried about how we will look if we allow ourselves to be silly? Is it because we are so focused on achievement that we are afraid if we stop to play we will fall behind our peers? Is it because someone told us we needed to grow up and we took this to mean we needed to stop playing? Is it some other reason? (I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!)
Play has been on my mind a lot recently as we just held our Wholistic Scavenger Hunt evening retreat in and around Baker Park in Frederick, Maryland. As part of the planning committee, it was our intention to create an event that was fun and playful while at the same time challenged participants to step outside their comfort zone. Feedback is that we were able to create just such an event. It warmed my heart and soul to see so many women taking time out of their busy schedules to just play! If you were one of the participants, what was the event like for you? Were you able to play and have fun?
As a student and teacher of The Daring Way curriculum – an experiential methodology based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown – I know that play is essential to wholehearted living. I make fun and play a priority. Here are some of the current things on my “playlist”…
- escape rooms (if you don’t know what this is, Google it. I’m sure you have one near you!)
- riding my bike
- puzzles
- going on a motorcycle ride with my hubby
- bootcamp-style exercise with good music and fun friends
- scrapbooking
- playing/drawing with window markers
- cards/board games
- going out with friends
- playing with my dog
- singing in the car at the top of my lungs
Now it’s your turn! What’s on your “playlist”? My hope is that by reading this blog you will be inspired to find a least one small way to play today. Go have some fun!
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
by Carol deLaski | Jul 21, 2017 | Donna Kettell, Guest Blogging, Personal Development
Have you set an intention to do something in your life but feel overwhelmed with all that is required to see that intention realized? Often it seems that you couldn’t possibly have enough time to accomplish this intention and if you’re like me, you may even find yourself mindlessly binge watching a Netflix series instead of tackling this thing that needs to get done because you don’t think you have the energy for the work ahead of you! Sound familiar?
OK, maybe you don’t indulge in a binge watching marathon at all, but you probably have your own personal way of avoiding overwhelming things that you aren’t sure how to tackle effectively. And I’m not just talking about a task like cleaning out a messy closet or losing 10 pounds. It might be something much more significant, like improving a relationship in your life, finding a job that’s aligned with your life purpose, or taking steps to change your life in a significant way.
What do you do when you are trying to avoid getting that significant task, project, or intention addressed?
At times, I have heard myself saying, “Why try to start tackling this mountain of a goal if I can’t imagine getting this completely done today, or sometime soon?” Maybe that thought is driven by some level of perfectionism. When that bubbles up, I remind myself it doesn’t have to be 100% complete, I just need to make progress today or create momentum—that’s a word that really resonates with me. When I wake up in the morning, my mind often runs down a mental checklist of all of the things that I should be getting done. As that mental exercise plays out, I find my energy draining because I know that I have so much more on my to do list than the time I have in the day. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
To raise my energy level, I often do a few simple things that allow me to feel as though I have accomplished something small before attempting to jump into that bigger endeavor. Perhaps it’s making my bed before I go downstairs for breakfast. As I type these words that feels a bit silly, but I have to admit there are days I don’t make my bed at all because I think that there just isn’t time for that. There are just too many other things that need to get done.
P.S.—I know I’m in desperate need of perspective when I tell myself this! Making my bed takes 30 seconds. And do you know what those 30 seconds do for me? They create MOMENTUM for my day! It makes me feel good that I got something done and it makes me feel good that my bedroom looks neat and organized and prompts me to tackle the next bigger task with renewed energy. It’s not the act of making the bed that works (or whatever small thing you do), it’s the fact that any small step can create momentum that launches you into a more productive day.
What small thing could give you that positive energy boost for your day?
So many things can create momentum. Some of my favorite things include mediation, prayer, visualization, and positive affirmations. All of these can quickly shift your mindset and put you on a positive trajectory for your day. Other simple things can also work to create a shift in my perspective. Music is a huge energy shifter for me. Great songs like “Beautiful Day” by U2, “Happy” by Pharrell Williams, “Dream On” by Aerosmith, or another oldie but goodie like “Ain’t No Mountain (High Enough)” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (turned up loudly with dancing involved, of course) never fail to lift me up or remind me that nothing is impossible!
What is one small thing that you might be able to do each day to start your positive momentum?
Once you get the momentum moving for a good day, what is one small thing you can do specifically to get momentum for your important intention?
Something that has worked well for me is to set the stopwatch on my iPhone and tell myself that I am setting this for 30 minutes, and for that time I am going to exclusively work on this task that I don’t really want to tackle. I give myself permission to stop working on it after the 30 minutes no matter how much or how little is done. The only requirement I give myself is that I work with laser focus for the full 30 minutes. I often feel so good about the progress I made because I focused 100% on my important intention and have a sense of accomplishment from that, that I keep going. That’s momentum and it’s critical to keep yourself moving forward!
Today, think about challenging yourself about whether you are carving out the time to focus on the thing that is most important to you right now. Give some thought to what inspires and motivates you. Start your day with those things and build on that motivation to keep momentum throughout your day. You may find that your intentional daily small steps create the momentum you need to keep climbing whatever mountain you need to climb!
Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell. Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
by Carol deLaski | Jul 14, 2017 | Laura Hall
Our next big retreat is coming up on July 26: the Wholistic Woman Scavenger Hunt! We will explore areas in downtown Frederick with friends and teams, and afterward meet at Brewer’s Alley for dinner!
See what the Wholistic Woman coaches have to say about the event, and we’ll see you there!
Check out the event page here for more info or to register.
by Carol deLaski | Jul 5, 2017 | Carol deLaski, Confidence, Courage
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ~ Helen Keller
What do you think of when you hear the word Adventure?
Daring…risky…exciting…maybe even a bit scary?
Adventures often have an element of the unknown, risk, and perhaps danger. I’ve noticed that there are different levels of adventure that appeal to each of us. What thrills me may seem tame to someone else. What thrills someone else may seem impossible for me to do.
Whether you’re quick to jump on board or prefer to think things through before taking a well-calculated risk, I believe it’s important for each of us to cultivate our own unique spirit of adventure. That spirit calls for us to try new things that take us out of our comfort zones, to stretch, grow, and reach for new accomplishments. The spirit of adventure is when we “participate in exciting undertakings or enterprises,” according to Dictionary.com.
My adult son, Ben, recently went skydiving with his girlfriend Kate. They were nervously excited about this great adventure and thoroughly researched the company they chose to literally, take the jump. Even though I was nervous, too, I saluted their courage in overcoming fear and doing such a daring act. I was the first person Ben called when his feet were safely on the ground once more and his voice was full of excitement and joy as he told me that it was one of the most amazing experiences of his life. His adrenaline and thrill were evident and contagious. I felt both relief and happiness for Ben and Kate; especially knowing that they took this adventurous step together.
I have no burning desire to jump out of a perfectly good airplane; however, I have my own sense of adventure. It often comes alive for me when I travel. I recently went to Texas for a work trip and extended my stay for a few days of fun and adventure exploring Texas Hill Country with my co-worker and friend, Kelye.
Kelye travels to Texas frequently for work and she designated herself my official tour guide for our long weekend together. She drove us through big cities and small towns: Austin, Fredericksburg, Comfort, and San Antonio. We drove through Luckenbach, Texas (where Waylon, Willie, and the gang sang). I tried new foods and drinks, saw new animals (such as armadillos), stayed on a ranch, and even bought myself a pair of red cowgirl boots as a reminder of this fun road trip. Traveling always taps into my sense of adventure as I find myself more open to see, taste, smell, listen, touch – and thoroughly experience new places, people, and things.
What taps into your sense of adventure?
What activities bring you the thrill of excitement?
What will you do this summer to explore and stretch out of your comfort zone?
If you’re looking for good ideas, I have a great suggestion!
I warmly invite you to our first Wholistic Woman Scavenger Hunt. This local adventure will take you around the historic district of Frederick, MD, and help you discover and experience it in new, creative ways.
Frequently, we take our hometown or nearby attractions for granted; we may not make time to enjoy and explore them. This is your chance to get to know Frederick better as you hunt for items and activities in the four Wholistic categories of body, heart, mind, and spirit.
Clues in each category will challenge you and your teammates to find and photograph such things as:
Heart: Do an act of kindness for an elderly person such as helping them across the street or paying for their parking meter.
Mind: Go to the house of the famous woman who said “Shoot if you must, this old gray head, but spare your country’s flag!” and salute the flag displayed there.
Body: Get a postural assessment from our sponsor, Spring Ridge Chiropractic, at the tallest, straightest place in Baker Park.
Spirit: Photograph your team at one of the many houses of worship in Frederick and light a candle, say a prayer, or meditate together.
These, and many more clues, will stretch your minds as you walk around town; be sure to wear comfortable shoes! Find and do as many of these clues as you can (or want to) in an hour and a half. Wholistic Woman Retreats will provide snacks and plenty of water to keep you hydrated and happy as you explore old town Frederick.
Create your own team, or come on your own and join a team at the event. This is a great team-building experience, whether you’re bringing co-workers, staff, or board members…or if you meet your team that day. You’ll get to know others as you explore the streets of Frederick – on the move – learning, connecting, and growing.
At the conclusion of the Scavenger Hunt we will gather upstairs at Brewer’s Alley to celebrate with cold drinks, dinner, and a recap of team adventures with a slideshow of your scavenger hunt photos. Fun prizes will be awarded, but we know the best reward will be the sense of accomplishment and connection you will feel from getting outside your comfort zone with other Women-on-the-Grow.
To participate in the Wholistic Scavenger Hunt, register yourself and/or your team. Plan to arrive at the Baker Park Gazebo at 4:30 on July 26th. The hunt will run from 5:00-6:30 PM, followed by dinner and celebration at Brewer’s Alley till 8:00 PM.
I hope to see you there…let’s have an adventure together!
Today’s Author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an executive coach, founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats, and author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. Learn more about her coaching and training services at www.caroldelaski.com or email her at: [email protected].
