by Carol deLaski | Feb 17, 2014 | Business, Carol deLaski, Professional Development
Are you engaged or disengaged with your work?
If you admit to feeling disengaged, you’re not alone. Studies show that a whopping 71% of the US workforce is not engaged in their work. While it’s good to know that we’re not alone, it makes me wonder how the 29% who feel engaged are accomplishing this. How do they do it?
What would it be like to wake up energized and enthusiastic about going to work every day?
What would it be like to be the CEO – chief engagement officer – of your work and your life? How can we change our energy about the work we do each day?
Here are 5 ways to increase your level of engagement:
Communicate– Unplug and have real face time conversations as much as possible. Create a genuine connection by talking about more than just work. Showing interest in someone as an individual goes a long way towards creating a lasting impression. You will become a communication model and inspire others as you cultivate real connections.
Listen and learn – to your staff, co-workers, and customers. They all have something valuable to say, and when you listen attentively you will learn what is most important to them. The simple act of listening sends a message to them that you are interested in who they are and what they have to say.
Care – Give your full attention to the people you interact with every day. Being thoughtful goes a long way towards creating positive energy. It often sparks mutual caring among teammates and colleagues and builds constructive relationships.
Atmosphere – Create a positive atmosphere. Choose to smile and make eye contact. Energy is contagious. When you opt to be positive it will ripple out to others in your circle of influence.
Praise – Catch people doing things right and tell them how great they are. People strive to do better when their efforts are noticed and appreciated.
Whether you manage a team or work independently, your level of engagement affects not only how you feel but also the bottom line. You will eliminate the cost of lost productivity, absenteeism, and disgruntled behavior by connecting with those around you.
There are two approaches that affirm and increase positive connections for individuals and teams.
1- Focus on what’s right by identifying your own and your co-workers strengths. In a world where we tend to focus on what’s wrong and what needs fixing, it can be refreshingly positive to instead focus on what is working. How do each person’s strengths benefit the team’s efforts and lead to greater success? What would happen if you developed those strengths further and empowered each person to do their best, and to be their best? What would be the impact on the bottom line if each employee was empowered to use their strengths fully?
2- Focus on a theme. Use the One Word approach to expand your awareness and center your attention over an entire year on an attribute that promotes your growth and success. Teams and organizations that are using this approach organize individuals collectively behind a common purpose and hold a vision before them for mutual success.
These two approaches for greater Focus develop the character of those who use them. That character development impacts the actions that they take. Those actions have an influence on their level of engagement and the success of the company…..as well asother activities they give their attention to.
What is one step you’re willing to take today to be more engaging?
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a certified leadership coach and speaker. She will be leading a Breakthrough Workshop for Women: Stay Focused, Stay Motivated with One Word on February 19th from 9-10:30 am. Click here for more details and to pre-register
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by Carol deLaski | Jan 22, 2014 | Business, Carol deLaski, Success
What can be the impact of using one theme word for an entire year?
Now that I’ve used, One Word to Change Your Life, with clients, family, and friends for most of 2013, I’ve heard a variety of stories that answer just that question.
For those of you unfamiliar with this approach, the purpose of One Word is to create greater focus as we work, make decisions, and live fulfilling lives.
Different from resolutions or goal setting, One Word is simple, easy to remember, and yet powerful when applied regularly. Using a theme word as a lens throughout the year helps you gain new perspectives and empower you to live a more meaningful life based on your values.
A key component to the One Word process is that you receive it rather than choose it. Listening with your heart, and quieting your mind, your word will come to you from the universe, God, or whatever you call the spiritual energy which exists beyond you.
How do you know when you have your word? Trust your inner knowing and be open to confirmation coming from unexpected sources such as a song on the radio, a flyer in the mail, a street sign, or billboard.
One woman received the word Breathe and wrote to me, “I prayed for a sign that I had the right word and a few days later I was listening to a new radio station when I heard a song that I liked. When I checked to see who it was, the band’s name was ‘Need to Breathe’. I said to myself, Wow, and was thankful for the sign.”
Another wrote that she thought her word was Shepherd yet she doubted it. “I was like, ‘really?’ and so I prayed again, “Give me just one more sign so that I know for sure. While waiting at a stop light on my way to an appointment, I noticed that the lamp posts nearby looked like shepherd hooks. Right at that same moment, the radio station that I listen to played a song about Moses and I knew it was my word. What a sense of humor God has!”
Not all words are faith-based. Other words shared with me this year are:
Observe – this woman used it to notice her husband, children, and friends more to see what they needed, how she could help them, and to simply increase her awareness of what was going on around her.
Surrender – this man used his word to recognize when to delegate and share responsibilities with others. The word is helping him release the driving need to do it all himself and provides a new balanced perspective about teamwork.
Discipline – this woman used her word to focus on her health and children as well as her personal and professional life. It was the antidote for the chaotic feelings that busyness often brought to her life.
Important – this word reminded a young woman to regularly ask herself what’s important. “It helps me to make better, solid decisions.” She feels good about the path she is on as a result of often asking herself, “Is this important?”
I’ve seen a great variety of words used such as: Light, Ask, Journey, Plans, Open, Acceptance, Change, and more. The words Courage and Trust are frequent choices. Each word has helped the individual stretch and grow with a special purpose and meaning that none of us could anticipate when we started. That’s been part of the surprise…. and the impact of this tool.
For myself, I am transitioning away from my word for 2013, Believe, and preparing to receive a new word for 2014. I’ve struggled with my word, at times this year, whenever it uncomfortably spotlighted areas of my unbelief. Yet I have grown fond of it nonetheless and feel a bit reticent to release it.
In a conversation at a dinner party recently I realized that the word is a part of me now and will continue to guide me. This surprisingly deep discussion with a new acquaintance was about spirituality. He shared with me that he’s not religious and doesn’t know what he believes spiritually. As I asked him a series of thought-provoking questions he gained the awareness that his belief in something bigger than himself typically occurs in three situations:
- when he’s in nature and witnesses great beauty
- when synchronistic events occur and he knows that it happened for a reason
- and the last one was a bit humorous…when taking a test! Almost without thinking he praised the Lord when he recently received a good grade on a professional competency test. As he told me about it I was reminded of the old adage that there are no atheists in foxholes (or in classrooms). We both laughed as he found these insights into his own beliefs in this brief exchange.
As for me, I’m glad to know that the word Believe is an integral part of me now and will always be a lens through which I experience life and encourage others. I’m especially looking forward to see its ongoing impact as I publish my book Lost and Found in 2014. I’m curious to see the ripples that it will send out into the world and believe that it will be good. With confidence I can now look forward to a new year, a new word, and new growth.
What word are you receiving for 2014?
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a certified coach and author who will be presenting a workshop “Create Focus and Success with One Word” on January 23rd. If you are curious to learn more about this powerful tool and how to use it with teams, organizations, or individually go to www.caroldelaski.com for details and to pre-register. This workshop is sponsored by Frederick County Society for HR Management and is open to the public.
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 6, 2013 | Business, Carol deLaski, Family
Have you ever noticed that sometimes the words ‘thank you’ just aren’t enough?
At times those two special words fall short of encompassing the depth of the emotions that we feel. They suffice for simple acts of courtesy and thoughtfulness, but seem insufficient when thanking someone for helping you through a life-altering experience. Those people who help us navigate major crossroads in our lives are special indeed. In my opinion, these game-changers deserve a deeper, more meaningful, expression of gratitude, but such feelings are sometimes hard to convey.
Think about it. Is there someone you’ve always wanted to thank for having pointed you in a new direction or provided guidance or support during a time of great change? It may be a teacher, coach, parent, grandparent, or even a boss, which was the case for me.
There was a manager early in my career who had made a lasting impact on my life, yet I didn’t know how to find her to thank her. Our lives had gone in different directions many years ago and we had lost touch. Then, just recently at a work reunion I found myself standing unknowingly beside her. I heard someone say, “Suzanne”, and I turned to glance at the name badge of the woman next to me and looked fully into the face of the woman I had been carrying a burning desire to thank for the last twenty-some years. A moment of simultaneous recognition occurred as she glanced at my name badge and we exclaimed our mutual surprise. I told her that I had longed for this chance to thank her. I wanted her to know that a decision she made, and a choice she gave me, created an opportunity that took my life in a new and wonderful direction. It impacted both my family and me profoundly, and I told her how incredibly grateful I have been over the passing years. The words thank you seemed inadequate to express the deep appreciation I felt towards Suzanne. Interestingly, she was unaware of the impact she had had on my life, which made this encounter all the more meaningful and sweet. We recalled our bonding experience……..
In 1986, we were working together on M Street in Washington, DC for a telecommunications company that had developed the first public email system. At that time, email was largely unheard of and this new technology drew people who were pioneers; innovative and capable of thinking ‘outside of the box’. It was an exciting time to work among so many creative individuals.
I was a 27-year-old young professional commuting to DC daily on the Metro from Rockville, where I lived with my husband at the time. The commute itself was memorable because I went into labor one day while en-route to work when I was pregnant with our first child. It was two weeks prior to my due date and I was in the final stages of wrapping up work projects as I prepared for maternity leave. I realized that my labor had begun on the metro and went immediately to Suzanne after walking to the office. I saw the quizzical expression on her face as I hesitantly told her that I desperately needed to leave, even though I had just arrived at work. Her face changed from curiosity to alarm as the dawning realization registered that she had a woman in labor in her office. Unsure of what to do, she quickly called for help from fellow co-workers (relying especially on the wisdom of those who were mothers) and devised a plan to get me to a nearby hospital.
Once at the hospital, everything went smoothly and our son Patrick was born that evening. It’s safe to say that becoming a mother has been one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. I fell deeply in love with my newborn son and basked in the time I had with him at home in those first weeks of his life. We were challenged by colic,yet even that difficulty didn’t affect a growing conviction in me that I wanted more time at home with him. Near the end of my maternity leave, I visited my office with Patrick, who was practically a celebrity there. Babies at work were always a pleasant distraction, but Suzanne and my co-workers were especially enthralled with Patrick, given the part they had played in his arrival into the world.
During that visit, I found the courage to ask Suzanne the burning question on my heart. I told her how meaningful it was to be at home with my baby, and asked if I could extend my maternity leave by working from home for three more months. At that time, telecommuting was unheard of and my request was completely out of the norm. Suzanne gave me that quizzical expression again, but this time she knew what she wanted to do. She said with conviction, “Carol, I believe that in these times companies need to make concessions for women as they raise their families. I’d like to help make that happen for you.” Her confident answer gave me an initial surge of hope, which then deflated somewhat as she went onto explain that she would have to get approval from upper management. She said if it was up to her, she would do it for me in an instant, but it wasn’t her decision to make. I went home encouraged that I had someone within the company advocating for me,and I prepared to wait and see what would be the result of my asking for what I truly wanted. It was a brave new idea and neither Suzanne nor I knew where it would lead.
Coincidentally enough, Suzanne’s boss at the time, Leslie, was now standing beside us at the reunion. Leslie laughed as we recalled the story and remembered that her initial response to the idea of me working from home was an emphatic ‘no!’ She had reasonable doubts at the time; questioning how they would know the quantity and quality of my work. In the face of her resistance, Suzanne and I came up with measureable work assignments, reporting methods, and a commitment on my part to come into the office once a week. Despite Leslie’s overall reluctance, Suzanne persisted in advocating for my cause, even taking the discussion to happy hour at the local hot spot that Leslie and other managers had frequented at the time. With such focused effort, Suzanne eventually won the approval needed to allow me to work from home for another three months.
The endeavor was so successful that after three months my petition to extend my working from home was easily approved. I continued to work from home for six years while raising both Patrick and our next son, Ben. The independent work experience gave me the confidence to become a telecom contractor for the following nineteen years and set me up for success when I began a second career as an entrepreneurial coach. Working from home, quite simply, changed my life.
The decision Suzanne had made to advocate for me had not only changed my life (and the lives of my children) but it set a precedent that rippled and impacted other lives. My venture into being one of the first telecommuters was so successful that management easily approved telecommuting for other new working mothers in following years.
Our recollections at the reunion were made even sweeter as I shared that Patrick was now 27 years old (interestingly, the same age I was when the original encounter with Suzanne had occurred). Suzanne received this news with genuine happiness and a nod of acknowledgement to the bittersweet passage of time.
Leslie pulled me aside later to thank me for relating the story of how their decisions had impacted my life. She shared that Suzanne hadn’t wanted to come to the reunion, and Leslie had gone to great efforts to get her there. I’m glad she did because my heart is now more peaceful knowing that I have thanked the woman who gave me the opportunity to define my own balance between mothering and working. The door Suzanne opened for me led to a path that brought substantial and overwhelming meaning to my life, and I genuinely thank her from the depths of my heart.
As you consider this story…
Who do you want to thank for giving you an opportunity?
How has your life been changed by someone who supported you?
And what will you do with that information?
I encourage you to look for ways to express your gratitude this month and welcome hearing your stories. Write to me at [email protected].
Today’s author: Carol deLaski is a certified leadership coach, author, and speaker. At her monthly Breakthrough Workshops in November she will teach a 7 level tool to communicate more effectively. For more information and registration details on Communication That Makes a Difference click here
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 20, 2013 | Business, Family, Laura Hall
Do you think its possible to live your life without expectations?
For me, the answer is not yet. I’m not spiritually evolved enough. I haven’t learned how to fully live in the present.
My observation is that expectations come from past experiences and are related to how we believe or want something to turn out in the future. They get in the way of being fully present in the now.
As a life coach, I work a lot with people on managing expectations. Unrealistic expectations set us up for disappointment. This is true on so many levels. From little thing like when I was playing golf yesterday and I expected that I could make the 4 foot putt, and I didn’t, to bigger things like how I expect my children to dress and behave now that they are teenagers. I encourage you to start observing how expectations show up in your life, both at work and at home, and how they may be causing you unnecessary frustration. How often do you expect something to turn out a certain way, and when it doesn’t you get upset. As Byron Katie says, “If you argue against reality, you will suffer”. How would your life change if you started practicing accepting reality instead of arguing against it?
Accepting it is not the same as liking it. Accepting it is about neutralizing your feelings about it. I believe this puts us in a better space to choose what our next step is. We are responsible for our own lives. We have response-ablility. We choose how we respond when our expectations and reality don’t line up, and what I know to be true is that when we are coming from a place of frustration, anger, intolerance or any other angst filled emotion, we are reacting and not responding. I don’t know about you, but I always feel better when I respond versus react.
I am undoubtedly a work in progress when it comes to practicing this. I catch myself needing to manage my expectations on a daily basis. Being aware of the impact of my expectations has opened me up to seeing reality more clearly. And, as reality becomes clear so do my choices of how to respond.
I encourage you to experiment with this yourself. The next time you are frustrated, mad, or just otherwise irritated, take a look at how your expectations and reality are not lining up. I’d love to hear your thoughts on expectations vs reality and how it is showing up in your life!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Sep 4, 2013 | Business, Carol deLaski, Courage, Personal Development, Professional Development
“What’s your word?” I asked the thoughtful-looking woman standing before me. She gazed off into the distance and said quietly, “Acceptance. It’s the lens through which I’m challenging myself with some hard questions. For example, I’ve been dieting for months and have been experiencing success. So now I need to ask myself, ‘When will I stop? When will I accept that I’ve lost enough weight?’ My word is also challenging me to accept my 17- year-old daughter for who she’s becoming, even in little ways, such as accepting what clothes she chooses to wear to school each day.”
Words carry energy. There’s no denying it. I’ve always been fascinated by this fact. Words can motivate and inspire us to greatness, or in one fell swoop they can deflate and discourage us.
Have you noticed what words carry great energy for you?
This year I’ve been using a theme word as a lens through which I view my professional and personal life. My word is Believe. It came to me after following a process outlined in the book, One Word to Change Your Life by Britton, Page, and Gordon. I have now taught and coached this process to many others as well, and I am inspired by the stories I have heard as a result of this work.
The process is about receiving a word that is meant to guide you for an entire year. Instead of going through a mental exercise of picking a good word, the process is about creating a quiet space, both physically and mentally, to open your heart and receive a great word. The process can move swiftly or it can take time. One of my clients waited two full months before her word became clear to her. She patiently tested various words during that time, but none of them felt quite right until one day, two months into the process, a particular word resonated with her heart and she knew she had found it. Discerning the word that is meant for you takes patience, observation, and self-awareness. It means bypassing your thoughts and paying attention to what your heart is guiding you towards.
Examples of words that I’ve seen people embrace this year are: Open, Ask, Courage, Surrender, Positivity, Patience, Discipline, Observe, Plans, Light, Breathe, and Change.
What a variety! The good news is that there is no right or wrong word.
Some people embrace, their word immediately, while others resist it. Certain words have even initially evoked fear. One woman in particular received the word Courage. Her first response was that she didn’t want the word because she didn’t want anything to occur to her that would require courage. She wisely chose to test, or live, with the word for a day to see what she could learn about it. During this trial period she asked her husband if he ever thought she was courageous, and he surprised her with several powerful examples that provided her with a new perspective on herself. She also read the definition of courage in the dictionary and learned that the word originates from coer, which means heart. Lastly, she noticed that a favorite word, and activity of hers, providing encouragement to others, contained courage within it. Armed with this information, she was able to accept what her heart already knew; this was to be her word for the year.
I am now expanding my appreciation of the energy that words hold as I prepare for the Wholistic Woman Heart Centered Leadership Retreat. As I learn about the Seven Principles of Heart Centered Leadership I am drawn to this particular principle: Know the Impact of your Words and Actions. It encourages heart-centered people to speak and act with integrity, and to wisely choose the words we use at work and at home. Leading lives that are guided by our hearts, instead of entirely by our heads, isn’t always easy. To do so we need to learn how to listen, and follow, the inner nudges which move us forward towards our higher purpose. I look forward to learning more about the seven principles of heart-centered leadership at the retreat and applying them to my personal and professional life. I hope you will join me there!
For details about the one day retreat on Friday September 27th, visit: www.wholisticwomanretreats.com
Carol deLaski is a Certified Leadership coach, speaker, and author. She works with individuals and businesses to focus and develop effective leadership skills for greater success. To contact her, email [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Aug 21, 2013 | Business, Laura Hall, Personal Development, Professional Development
OK, I have a confession to make…I am a self-help/personal growth and development book junkie. I love books that help me understand how human relationships work, why people do the things they do, and how we can improve ourselves. I gained some insight into this tendency a couple months ago when I took the StrengthsFinder assessment and “learner” showed up in my top 5 strengths. When it come to fiction vs non-fiction, non-fiction wins my vote 9 times out of 10. I watch TV for pleasure and entertainment. I read to learn! (This drives some of the people in my book club crazy, but that’s OK.)
I believe that self awareness is the key to happiness. I strive, everyday, to learn something new about myself. I know that I am a work in progress. I don’t ever want to be “done”. I believe that there is no upper limit on happiness or self awareness. I am compelled to keep pushing the evolving edge of these, and I have chosen to surround myself with people who share this passion for wanting more of both. Chances are, if you are taking the time to read this, that you too want to know yourself better.
As one of the life coaches of Wholistic Woman Retreats, I’ve been busy preparing for our upcoming fall event titled, “Heart Centered Leadership, An Invitation to Lead from the Inside Out” which is a half day retreat being held on September 27th, 2013 in Buckeystown, Maryland. The retreat is based on the 7 principles of Heart-Centered Leadership as described in the book with the same title. And, as I’ve now confessed to one of my addictions, you’ve probably made the assumption that I am reading the book as part of my preparation, and guess what, you are right!
The opening lines of this book read, “At this very moment – while writing this book – we know we are a work in progress. As much as we will share our personal and professional experiences, we don’t have all the answers. We are learning every day about the power of leadership, the power of people, and the power of connecting with people.” OK, I’m hooked! But wait, it gets better…! Guess what principle #1 is titled! Know Thyself!
Several years ago I wouldn’t have given a book like this a second glance. Why you ask? The simple answer is because I didn’t see myself as a leader. I had a very narrow definition of that word. I thought leaders were only found in business. I thought that to be a leader you needed to be the head of your company, or leading a management team or something like that. But because I was doing my own work, and learning new things about myself on a regular basis, I came to realize that we are all leaders. The question is not, are you a leader, but rather, where and how do you lead?
Are you a CEO of a company? Are you a parent? Are you the owner of a business? Are you a volunteer in an organization? Are you an employee in a company? Are you a student? Are you someone’s friend? Are you alive? OK, you get it right, the list could go on and on. But here’s the deal, if you answered yes to any of these questions, (if you answered “no” to the last question, then we have a problem) then guess what, you are a leader! And, like I said earlier, if you are taking the time to read this blog then I know that, like me, you too believe that you are a work in progress and there is always more to know about yourself.
With that said, I’d like to invite you to join me and 39 other women for a day of self inquiry and growth at the Wholistic Woman’s fall retreat. Aren’t you curious about what the 6 other principles are?
If you’ve been to one of our retreats in the past, you know that it will be a day for rejuvenation, fun, connection and learning. You will make new friends and reconnect with others. If you haven’t been before, well then you are in for a real treat! You can sign up today by clicking here. Don’t delay as space is limited. Hope to see you there! For more information, visit us at www.wholisticwomanretreats.com.
Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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