Happiness

Happiness

“Lean towards joy and listening, and away from giving advice.”

That was the message to kick off my weekend retreat at Kripalu in the beautiful Berkshires area. I have always been interested in learning about positivity and happiness so I joined Dr. Maria Sirois on Introduction to Positive Psychology along with my oldest dearest friend Susie that I have known for 40 years. Many of you that know me have said why you would want to learn about happiness and positivity since you are that way. For me it was simple, learn some of the statistics around the benefits of these themes in life that I am so passionate about and pass along. Yes, it was a little scientific experiment I took in a relaxing environment and came away renewed with more spirit!

Positive psychology was referred to as the scientific study of optimal human functioning and officially launched as a field in 1998. Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar first taught a seminar at Harvard on this fairly newer topic in 2002 with 8 students enrolled and 2 dropped out. The objective was what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives. The following year the class went public and 380 students signed up. The evaluations showed the class improved the quality of one’s life. Well, the next time the class was offered it grew to 855 students enrolled, which made it the largest class at Harvard University.

A few years ago I did a workshop on “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” that got me thinking about how to help others lead a happier life. It’s no surprise more often we hear people focus on the negative or remember negative experiences more than positive and that’s in part how positive psychology came about. Psychologists focus on how to help human problems and course correct versus why people are happy and build on that. There have been many positive psychology teams that go into companies to create a balance and shift and help turn a “positive” profit. So in business, positivity equals profit.

As someone who has always been in human resources and the people business, I can’t help but get excited about this field. Guess what the percentage of genetics and intentional activity are in determining happiness? Yes, it’s almost 50/50. To be more exact fifty percent of our happiness comes from our genes and forty percent from our intentional activity, with the exception of 10% are life circumstances says Sonja Lyubomirsky. Happiness is not out there for us to find, it’s in us to find. I love the quote from Abraham Lincoln,

“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

It’s true! We choose to change our negative state of mind to push through to find happiness.

Some of my favorite happiness boost are expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism and acts of kindness. There is a long list by Sonja Lyubomirsky that goes on to taking care of your body with steady exercise and meditation. One I am working on and will continue with our Be Whole, Be Calm event designed to relax your mind and walk a meditative labyrinth. I walked the labyrinth at the Kripalu Wellness and Yoga center and was reminded to pause and savor life’s joys and listen as advised the start of my weekend. These retreats fill my happiness bucket one day, one weekend at a time.

Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients.  You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website http://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com

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May

May is my favorite month. After wrapping up April showers and bringing on May flowers, I pause and reflect on how special this month is before we move onto June. The days go by so fast and I always look forward to certain times of the year and next thing you know, you are moving along your path to the next day or month and then next year.

May makes me happy. I celebrate my mother, her birthday, my birthday and even my breast cancer diagnosis anniversary the day before my birthday – why, well because my stage was caught so early and it reminds me of  our genetic journey together and well, just because.

May makes me want to dance. Not because it’s the “Dancing with the Stars” finale, and I can’t wait to see who wins but because I feel in the month of May we put more pep in our steps and we move more now after the cold months. I came across these five Steps in the “Dance of Life” by Coby Kozlowski which are beautiful reminders of being in the present and not letting your favorite days or months to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, or just because go without celebrating, reflecting, experimenting, trusting and repeating like steps to a dance…

  • Celebrate who you are right now – recognize and appreciate all that is perfect about you, just as you are
  • Reflect on your path – pause a few times throughout your day to observe whether your thoughts, words and actions are in alignment
  • Put yourself into the experiment – we find out what makes our lives better and more authentic by putting ourselves into experiments
  • Surrender and trust – know that you will always have another chance to try again
  • Repeat for the rest of your life…

After I read these five pep steps, which are in no order at all, I recognize the one step I resonate with is putting myself into the experiment. This past year and the month of May have been a new experiment for me, trying on life a different way without my mom who passed away last year in April. She was my cheerleader in life and I love keeping her strong spirit alive; it brings such joy. One way I am doing this is by building a tree of life garden and believe me this is an experiment for someone who did not carry the green thumb gene from my mother. This May and last May, we have eaten Maryland crabs, moms favorite, to honor her birthday. Reflecting on our memories and creating new ones is the joy of life. Make May count this year, enjoy the beauty and color all around us, the pep in your step and repeat your monthly celebrations for the rest of your life.

 

Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown is an executive coach, conference speaker, HR expert, and seminar leader on employee and management training. Through her company, KRB Customized Training Solutions, she specializes in communications and leadership, career coaching, and result driven solutions for hospitality, healthcare and service oriented clients.   You can reach Kelye at [email protected] or visit her website http://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.krbcustomizedtrainingsolutions.com

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