by Carol deLaski | Mar 6, 2013 | Carol deLaski
I admit that I am a recovering superwoman.
I have worshipped the ‘god of busyness’ basing the meaning and value of my life on what I accomplished each day. Like many women, I have juggled the demands of a busy household, family, friends, work, and volunteering. Occasionally it has been effortless, but more often than not it has brought on a great deal of stress. I set myself up for this angst by saying “yes” to too much and then silently wondering how I’m going to fulfill all that I have committed to. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?
Most women are experts at taking care of others. We are masters of multi-tasking; switching figurative hats from chef to taxi driver to secretary to laundress to accountant to playmate and so on. We heroically rise to the challenge of meeting the needs of those we are committed to, often at the expense of our own wellbeing. It’s easy to neglect, or entirely forget, our own needs in the midst of managing the needs of others. We can lose ourselves on the path to being super mom, super employee…. super woman.
My superwoman crashed and burned a number of years ago and I have been on a journey to understand and practice self-care ever since then. Initially, I thought the term self-care was synonymous with selfish. I believed that taking time for my own needs was indulgent and wrong. I had to learn that it was okay to provide for myself first, before giving generously of my time, resources, and talents to others. Since up to 80% of all illnesses are said to be related to chronic stress, it behooves us to have a variety of ways to reduce or eliminate the pressures in our lives.
Now I try to balance the care I offer others with self-care; making sure I am filling my own tank regularly. I’d like to share three essential elements which provide a strong framework for wellbeing.
1) Taking consistently good care of my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
2) Finding and using my voice to express myself.
3) Surrounding myself with a community of women who encourage and support my development.
The mind-body-heart-soul connection is crucial to successfully balance my superwoman tendencies with my desire to be solidly grounded. The Center for Mind-Body Medicine is an inspiring resource for wholistic health. Mind-Body Medicine focuses on the interactions between mind and body and the powerful ways in which emotional, mental, social and spiritual factors can directly affect health. Visit this link to learn 4 simple mind-body techniques (http://cmbm.org/resources/self-care/)
The Center’s founder, Dr. James Gordon, will be speaking at Frederick’s International Women’s Day on Friday, March 8th sharing his expertise about self-care for trauma relief, as well as for everyday health and wellbeing. To register, visit www.FrederickIWD.org. I hope to see you there!
Today’s author: Carol deLaski Hayes is a Certified Leadership Coach and speaker who provides workshops for personal and professional growth. Contact Carol at 301-371-7460 or [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Feb 27, 2013 | Health, Laura Hall
How did you play as a child? How do you play as an adult? Those were the questions posed to me earlier today in my spiritual study group. We are studying a book called, A Hidden Wholeness, The Journey Toward and Undivided Life” by Parker Palmer. We are into the third chapter, and so far, I’m really enjoying the book.
These questions got me thinking about fun and play and what role they had in my life when I was a child, as well as what role they have in my life as an adult. My childhood was full of fun and play. I always lived in a neighborhood that was teeming with other kids. Some of my memories include playing jacks with my next door neighbor, Vicky, getting a group together to play kick the can, jumping rope to singsong tunes, or just laying in the grass and playing the cloud game where we would find animal shapes among the clouds.
As an adult, I continue to make a point of bringing fun and play into my life. I’ve found a really fun gym where I work out regularly with a bunch of playful women and a few men, I take time to have creative fun with scrapbooking, at least once a quarter my daughter and I host a game night with family friends (right now our favorite game is Telestrations), twice a year I take a weekend away with my close friends, and I lead as well as participate in workshops that inspire and uplift me. All of these things constitute fun and play for me.
Fun and play are important because they are part of living a well rounded life. There is more and more research coming out about the benefits of play, which include, but aren’t limited to stress reduction, increased problem solving abilities, increased longevity, connection to others, and increased energy. With benefits like these I’m sure you are probably asking yourself why you aren’t playing more in your life.
How do you have fun and play?
If you are looking for something fun to do next Friday evening, consider joining me and some of your other Wholistic Woman friends at Frederick’s International Women’s Day Celebration. Details can be found at https://wholisticwomenliving.com/ai1ec_event/international-womens-day/?instance_id=230
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach who believes every woman deserves a coach. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Feb 20, 2013 | Laura Hall
Are you a ‘word’ person? Do you know someone who searches for just the right phrase or word to describe what they’re thinking or feeling? I have had a lifelong passion to use verbal and written words creatively in an effort to effectively express myself. My passion has expanded in the process of writing my first book. Like many authors, I have found that writing my book went much quicker than editing my book. The editors and I have sent the manuscript back and forth between us for months, fine tuning and massaging the material so that it flows smoothly, and accurately captures my intended message. It’s a process that can sometimes feel maddeningly slow, yet if I let go of my expectations about when it will be done, it can also feel fluid and effortless. That’s because I love words and the way they enliven communication.
A deck of inspirational self-care cards are one of my favorite sources of empowering words. I enjoy spreading the cards out and, without looking at them, selecting one that ‘calls’ to me. Turning it over in my hands, I read the single word on the card, appreciate the beautiful illustration, and read the brief message. I then ask myself what the one word means to me on that particular day. Sometimes the message resonates with me immediately, and other times I have to wait and observe how the day unfolds before I understand its message in hindsight. On a recent morning I drew the word Patience. I had great expectations about what I wanted to accomplish that day on my manuscript. Looking at the card in the morning I was sure it was highlighting the need for patience in other areas of my life. However, after a frustratingly slow day of editing I saw that I needed to apply Patience to my writing. This observation helped me revise my expectations, release my disappointment, and accept my process.
Viewing your life through the lens of one word is a powerful exercise. Whether you subscribe to a ‘word of the day’, or like me, pull word cards from a deck, practices such as these have the potential to broaden our life experience by providing a focus we wouldn’t otherwise have. I invite you to give it a try and encourage you not to make it a willful mental exercise, but to allow the word to come to you. How would you do that?
‘One Word to Change Your Life’ will be the topic of a workshop I will be leading on February 27th from 7:30-9:30 am. The workshop will be based on the book “One Word That Will Change Your Life” and will guide participants to select their word for 2013. Once you find your word, or more accurately, your word finds you, it will be a lens through which you can view the experiences of this year. It will be a powerful tool to enhance your ability to create what you want in your work or life. Bringing laser focus to your intentions and growth allows for greater expansion and development. Click here for more details or to register for the workshop. http://home/wholisu6/dev.wholisticwomanretreats.com.readyforinsight.com/ai1ec_event/breakthrough-breakfast/?instance_id=9
Hope is an especially empowering word and will be the focus of Frederick’s International Women’s Day. ‘Healing Trauma, Restoring Hope’ will be the topic of this year’s event on March 8th from 5-8:30 pm. You are warmly invited to attend. https://wholisticwomenliving.com/ai1ec_event/international-womens-day/?instance_id=230
Today’s author: Carol Hayes is a Certified Leadership Coach, speaker, and soon-to-be author, who provides workshops for personal and professional growth. Contact Carol at 301-371-7460 or [email protected]
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 28, 2012 | Linda Norris
Last month, I gave my coaching group the assignment of writing their own eulogy. At the core, this assignment was designed to help them gain clarity about what is really important to them in life. What follows is the one I wrote for myself. I feel blessed to be able to share it with you while I’m still here to share it in person. I’d love to hear your comments and encourage you to consider writing your own eulogy too. The experience was very powerful.
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly…”
That saying has hung on my refrigerator for as long as I can remember and I believe it with all my heart and soul. Now, I’m asking you to believe it about me. I am the butterfly! One of my favorite teachers, Eckhart Tolle says, “that while death is the opposite of birth, it is not the opposite of life. Life has no opposite. Life is eternal.” I, just like you, am life. I am eternal. I’ve merely switched forms.
In 2011 I took the time to write my personal declaration. It became the cornerstone upon which I built and lived my life. I’d like to share a portion of that declaration; it reads:
“I am Love personified.
I radiate the light of love that was given to me from our Creator. I express myself daily as a vibrant example of love uncovered. My brilliance is dazzling! I love myself and I love you without judgment or conditions. I am a unique expression of creation and I share my Truth freely while honoring your unique expression and your Truth. I forgive myself and others easily. I am whole while at the same time being part of the greater whole.
I am a teacher and a student. I teach people to live from their hearts and to uncover their love so that it is accessible to themselves and others. I am open to learning new life lessons, to expanding my knowledge and to growing my capacity to love.
I am confident. I play the game of life full out. I play by my own rules, the ones I know are best for me, and encourage others to do the same.
I am living my God given purpose.
I AM LOVE PERSONIFIED!”
These words are no less true today . This is still me. I am just no longer a caterpillar. I am a butterfly!
As a caterpillar, I was truly among the blessed. First, I was blessed with an amazing family. My parents and my brother provided me with the perfect environment to grow into the caterpillar I was destined to be. Then I met my amazing husband, Bill, who inched along with me, and together we built an amazing life which included two wonderful children, Kayla and Helena who are now inching along on their own paths. Being a caterpillar sure was fun, but inching along now seems a little overrated as compared to flying.
So today, I ask that you don’t mourn the death of the caterpillar, but rather celebrate the birth of the butterfly.
And as a wise young woman once said to me. “Life (of a caterpillar) (— I put that part in 🙂 is hard, do your work. You know what your work is, so go get to it!
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach who believes every woman deserves a coach. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com
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by Carol deLaski | Nov 19, 2012 | Gratitude
It is five days after a great event and I am still feeling the glow of having spent a truly special night with special people. Our Gratitude Dinner held last Tuesday night was a member’s and alliance partner’s-only event and 24 women were able to attend and share an evening of wonderful food and drink and great companionship.
What an incredible warm and connected evening! There were women that have attended our retreats that reunited with other retreat participants, alliance partners that enjoyed meeting for the purpose of socializing rather than working on a task, and there were coaches that relished the opportunity to witness the amazing women that choose to work with us.
What a blessing it is to live in a time and place where we can share beauty in the people we are with, the place that we gather, and the food and drink that we enjoy. What a joy to have healthy bodies that support us, enough financial means to support ourselves, and families and friends that want our company. This is truly a week for giving thanks and the Wholistic Woman Community did just that.
Some additional thanks go to Bill and Laura Hall for being the wine sponsors, Lisa Fiedler at TASTE…at Your Table for the delicious food and service, and Michael DiSciullo for rearranging furniture, setting up chairs and tables, and taking the dog out for the evening.
It is a privilege to be connected to clients, members, and friends that are truly committed to living their whole best life.
Thank you for a wonderful evening and if you would like to join us in the future, join our community at www.wholisticwomanretreats.com and like us on Facebook.
Most people think that those who are happy have gratitude, rather it is those who have gratitude are happy! *
The opportunity to speak out loud, what we are grateful for acknowledges and spurs more thoughts on how fortunate we all are. As human beings we focus on what’s not right more often that what is right in our lives. Focusing on the positive helps put the nagging problems and issues in perspective so that we have greater clarity on what to do about those issues. It lifts our moods and creates positive energy. I encourage you to take the time to share your gratitude with your family and friends during the week of Thanksgiving, as well as all year long.
Lisa DiSciullo
Lisa DiSciullo Coaching
[email protected]
*NOTE TO READERS: I saw a quote like this on Facebook and went back to find it and couldn’t, so if you know the real quote and who should get credit, let us know here!!
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