This Tuesday was a Tuesday like any other: I got ready for the day, placed my Starbucks coffee order, headed to my BNI meeting and set up the coffee for my group, and began networking. The morning meetings went well and I felt energized and hyped to continue going about my day. After the BNI leadership team meeting, I drove from Frederick over to Mount Airy for another meeting with a new contact.
Again, the meeting went very well. We were even able to sit outside and chat in the cool breeze at a shaded table. It was very pleasant, and I climbed back into my car afterward feeling great about myself and my business.
I decided, since I was in Mount Airy, to stop by the local Jimmie Cone. If you have never heard of Jimmie Cone before, it’s a local ice cream stop with locations in Mount Airy and Damascus, and they’re known for the crunchy “jimmie” sprinkles that go on top of the ice cream. I have many fond childhood memories from when I used to live in Mount Airy of going to Jimmie Cone with my dad and enjoying a cone in the summer evenings. Well, since I had driven up here and had some time, I drove the two minutes over to the Mount Airy location.
I got my ice cream, took the first bite, relaxed into my seat, and took a look around me. Fluffy white clouds floated across a bright blue sky, and despite the busy road being nearby, it was actually pretty quiet in the middle of the day. A breeze tossed my hair away from my face and kept the sunshine from being too oppressive. I put away my phone and took the time to enjoy the beautiful day and my delicious ice cream with the crunchy jimmies (which I rarely allow myself these days). While I had originally only planned on stopping for maybe ten minutes and wolfing down my frozen treat, I ended up stealing half an hour. It was worth every second.
As a relatively new business owner, I struggle with finding the right balance for my days. I’m going into my second year of full-time business, so I’m still working out some of the remaining kinks and striking the right work-play-rest ratio. On advice from multiple seasoned business owners in my circle, I’ve recently begun working hard on my time management and scheduling out my days to make my workload easier to deal with and also to ensure I’m still getting enough time for sleep, exercise, and time with friends and family.
I had attended the Be Balanced event at the end of May with Carol deLaski, and one of the takeaways for me from that event was the reminder to find balance, and if I can’t find it (i.e., if it doesn’t happen naturally), then I need to create it until I do “find” it. And my unexpected Jimmie Cone time was a reminder to build in time for rest and play—or at least, not to feel guilty when those moments pop up.
When I finished my ice cream, I smiled, cleaned up my trash, turned on my car, and drove off to return to my business.
Today’s blog is written by one of our alliance partners, Kira Tregoning. Kira is the owner and founder of Maia Media Management, a local social media management and editing business. She offers social media management, consultations, and trainings, as well as video services, proofreading, editing, and manuscript critiques. Kira is also a published author with two fantasy novels available on Amazon and more on the way. Learn more about her at kiratregoning.com.
While we do address tough and emotional issues during coaching, Wholistic Woman also has a fun side! If you haven’t seen our Missy & Flo video series, you should watch it now! A series of 8 videos, our coaches share self-care tips in a fun and engaging way. Here’s the second video in the series:
On May 3, 2017, I turned 50! When I was a little girl, this number seemed big and very far away. Now that I’m here, this number feels normal. It’s where I am supposed to be. It is part of the truth of who I am and is a testament to how far I’ve come. I’ve learned a lot in my first 50 years! I am happy with myself and the growth I’ve experienced.
As I reflected back on how far I have come and what I have learned along the way, I thought it might be fun to come up with 50 things I’ve learned over 50 years. What you will find below is the list. 🙂
My 50 things are listed in no particular order. They represent many teachers from which I have learned from through the years. Some of my teachers have been authors, some have been spiritual leaders, some have been friends. I have also learned from the “mistakes” I’ve made…I put mistakes in quotations because I believe if I learn something then it is not really a mistake but rather a lesson.
My initial thought was to just share this list with my two girls who are also living through significant milestones. My daughter Kayla has just graduated from nursing school and is entering the world of “adulting” for the first time. She is both excited and scared. My daughter Helena has just completed her Associates degree and will be heading away to college in the fall. She too is both excited and scared. This list was first conceived as a gift to them. It was meant to be a place they could go to when they were feeling lost or scared. You see, I remember what it was like to be at the places they are now and yes, at times it felt scary! My hope is this list will be something they use to remind them of where and who they come from. My hope is that they will take this list and make it their own. That they will question me about what I mean for the entries they don’t understand…that they will reject the ones that don’t work for them…that they will add to the list with things they have learned…that they will share with me their thoughts about the list. My hope is that they will see this list as a gift.
The more I thought about it though, the more I wanted to share this with you, too. You being the supporters of the Wholistic Woman Community. You have been such a gift to me. You have helped shape me into the woman I am today. So, this list is also my gift to you. I hope you enjoy it. I also invite you to do all the things I have invited my girls to do. Please share with me which parts of the list you relate to, as well as which parts you don’t. And, if you are really up to a challenge, write your own list! I’d love to see it!
50 Things I’ve Learned Over 50 Years
It’s OK to not know…Be brave enough to ask.
Kindness rules! Practice it with yourself and others.
You are a leader.
The book The Four Agreements is a must read.
Take regular trips outside your comfort zone.
Your first thoughts will always come automatically but your next thought is one you have control over. Choosing the best second thought changes EVERYTHING!
Make generous assumptions.
Emotions are your teacher.
Emotions are meant to be felt, not buried.
Find a spiritual practice and practice it.
Arguing with reality won’t change things but will be extremely frustrating.
Don’t put anything in writing that you wouldn’t feel comfortable having publicly announced.
Know when a conversation would be better than a text – tone and the energy behind your words can often be misinterpreted in the written word.
Seek first to understand.
Practice choosing courage over comfort.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is not.
Trust your gut.
Don’t forget how to play and have fun!
Not everybody sees the world the same way you do.
When somebody shows you who they are, believe them.
Worrying is a waste of time and creative energy.
What is meant for you will always find away.
Make sleep and rest a priority.
Nurture the relationships that are important to you.
Fear is normal and learning how to move forward in the face of it is imperative.
There are only three kinds of business: your business, their business, and God’s business. Anytime you are not in your business you are in the wrong place.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Too much is too much.
The most important time ever is now.
You’ll never hit a target you don’t aim for.
Soul food is real….Watch what you feed your spirit.
Nurture your creativity.
Practice letting go of things you have no control over.
Journal! Getting your thoughts and feeling out and on paper is very good for you.
Dogs and three-year-olds are great teachers.
No one is a mind reader.
You were born worthy and enough.
We are all perfectly imperfect.
FORGIVE.
Happiness is an inside job.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
The Little Soul and the Sun is an amazing book, please read it at least once a year.
We are meant to change and grow.
You can’t out train a poor diet.
There is never only one right way.
Byron Katie and Brené Brown are wise women – reading their books has changed the way I see the world.
You eat an elephant one bite at a time.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the next best time is now.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Never let your age stop you.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com
I’ve been thinking lately about the word energized and what that means to me. It was my One Word in 2015 and one of its definitions that really resonates with me is “to cause a transformation”.
I’m usually looking for a personal transformation of some sort on a daily basis. You might say, “Really, daily?!” Yes, honestly, I do look for at least a mini transformation every day. What exactly do I mean by that? Well, it usually has to do with my desire to drastically change the way that I am thinking about something in the moment. For example, there are days that I wake up and one of my first thoughts is, “Ugh, today is the day that I need to (fill in the activity/task) and that makes me feel (fill in the negative emotion).” I have to admit, it’s not a good way to start the day. But it does seem to be human nature to allow the negative thoughts in our heads to surface as we think about what’s ahead of us each day. I’ve come to realize that it’s what I do after this thought pops up that really makes the difference for me.
Walking through your day with negative, demotivating thoughts is not productive or pleasant at all. So I have learned to do a few things to immediately change my day’s trajectory, to transform or energize it. As soon as I catch myself having that first negative thought, I do a couple of quick things to turn this around. I often start with a morning meditation and say several things out loud that I am grateful for. It may be really simple things like: It’s Friday, I woke up on time, or I have something good in the refrigerator for breakfast. Then I think about what I intend for my day. If I have something to do that seems somewhat daunting or unpleasant, I visualize that going well or better than expected. Finally, I create some positive affirmations that can help fuel that vision for the day.
Let me give you a specific example of how this works for me.
I may wake up and think, “Oh no, I have to drive down to Virginia this morning for an early meeting and the traffic is going to be terrible because it’s raining. That feels really stressful.” That isn’t a very motivating thought to wake up to. It makes me feel like staying in bed and pulling the covers over my head.
To get energized and drastically change that thought process, I immediately think of several things I am grateful for about this situation; for example, it’s rain rather than snow, I woke up a little earlier than planned, and I am meeting with a very nice group of people who are excited that I am joining them today.
Then I try to quiet my mind to visualize getting to the meeting easily and having a very positive outcome. Positive affirmations are the key component to keeping that vision energized. In this example, I might say:
Everything I need today is coming to me easily and effortlessly.
I am now being given the perfect solution for this situation.
I am energized and enthusiastic about the day ahead.
Those of you who know me well know that I am a big believer in a practice of visualization and positive affirmations. There’s a great deal of scientific research that has been done in the field of neuroscience that shows a direct correlation between our thoughts and words and the outcomes we experience in our lives.
Neuroscientists have shown that our brains focus on what we think most about. If we are constantly thinking and worrying about how we might be stressed or unsuccessful during the day, then our brains get geared up for that inevitability.
Conversely, if we tell our brain that today is going to be a good day and positive experiences are coming our way, then the brain starts scouting out opportunities to make that happen. What does that mean? We can change the way our day evolves with the thoughts that we feed our brains.
Imagine for a moment that you allowed yourself to eat only candy bars, potato chips, and ice cream all day long every day for a year, and ate nothing else. That doesn’t sound all together bad when you first think of it, right? But you realize that your body wouldn’t function well physically if the only thing you fed it was junk food. In fact, you might get very sick if you made that your diet for a long period of time.
Now consider what you may be feeding your mind all day long. Whether we do it intentionally or unconsciously, we all allow our minds to be filled with some negative self chatter. When we allow ourselves to listen to this negative chatter in our head, I think it’s fair to say that this is junk food for our minds. And that can’t have a healthy impact on us either.
What is the negative chatter? Well, it’s that demotivating internal self talk that tells you that you will never realize your vision for your life, or even for this day, because you just aren’t enough – you aren’t young enough, smart enough, deserving enough. Whatever it tells you, that unkind chatter in your head holds you back from realizing the life you desire to live. It limits you, drags you down, and starts to convince you that others could pull that off (whatever THAT is) but YOU can’t. And a steady daily diet of these negative thoughts can weigh you down and make you feel mentally exhausted.
Hmm, that sounds like the complete opposite of being energized, right?
Of course, there are a lot of things we can do for ourselves to feel more energized – get proper rest, eat healthy foods, exercise, laugh, be social, pray. However, one of the most impactful ways for me to get energized is to pay attention to the messages I am sending myself throughout the day. When I use positive affirmations to infuse my personal visualization for a great day, it’s amazing how much more energized I feel.
Would you like to explore what the personal thoughts are that are draining your energy and then transform them into inspiring thoughts that empower and energize your intentions?
If so, join us for the Be EnergizedEvening Retreat on June 28th. I will be facilitating the discussion and will help you create energizing, customized, positive affirmations that will infuse your vision for your life. This is a simple process and when applied regularly can make some immediate positive changes. I look forward to sharing more with you. Hope to see you on the 28th!
Click here for event information and to register. Reserve your spot today!
Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell. Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
While we do address tough and emotional issues during coaching, Wholistic Woman also has a lighter, fun side! If you haven’t seen our Missy & Flo video series, you should watch it now! A series of 8 videos, our coaches share self-care tips in a fun and engaging way. Here’s the first video in the series:
