In August, my Be Positive evening retreat, based on Gratitude and Positivity, focused on how 40% of our happiness comes from intentional activity and the group ideas generated from the retreat exercise made us feel 100%. I explained how author Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research shows 10% of our happiness comes from life circumstances, 50% is from genetics, and 40% from intentional activities. This breakdown is turned into the Happy Pie – the representation of what we can do for ourselves to be happy!
Over 30 women put energy into what they can intentionally do to create their happy pie! After giving each group an opportunity to describe ingredients to create a whole pie, they came up with Fulfilled Pie, Soul Pie, Whoopi Pie, Peppy Pie, and Positivity Peachy Pie! They were ready to embrace what they had control of, such as:
Being in Nature
Making their Bed
Self -Compassion and Gratitude
Pet Love
Connection, Dance, and Laughter
What are your intentional activities to feel whole and happy?
The practice of gratitude, or being in the present moment here and now, is many things to many people. During Be Positive, we discussed how expanding our horizons to express gratitude gave us more energy and positive emotions, and as a bonus, it has many health benefits as well. The happiness tool I often use to measure positive change is If I were 3% more grateful in my day, I would ______________.
I was over three percent more grateful to partner with Cathy Hansen, a certified Laughing Yoga instructor, to help us put some of these intentional activities into practice. We focused on many ideas, but here are five we explored:
Journaling – A healthy way to reflect on the day in a written way. Take time to reconnect with yourself and your thoughts on paper.
Smile – Everyone knows that when you’re happy, you smile, but it’s also true that when you smile, you are happy.
Compliments – Brightening someone else’s day also brightens your own. Sincerity is a key component as well.
Volunteer – Helping others, like victims of Hurricane Harvey or more recent Hurricane Irma, is a great way to boost how you feel about yourself.
Meditation – Take 2 minutes to be calm and silent. Clear your mind and be present.
What are habits you create to find the positive side of your situations?
Whatever your habits are, if being more positive is on your mind – move forward with some of these or try something else without overthinking. Shake it off. It’s time to cut loose and have some fun. We think so much all day, every day, so start to set aside some thoughts for you. Don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy your fresh Happy Pie!
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse-Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
Wholistic Woman Retreats is excited to announce the addition of FOUR new partner coaches to our team! We now have three Wholistic Woman coaches: Carol, Laura, and Kelye, and our roster of six partner coaches: Donna Kettell, Jane Helm, Casey Clark, Kim Wilson, Kat Middleton, and Elisabeth Vismans. Join us in welcoming these fabulous coaches to Wholistic Woman! We’re equally delighted to welcome back Donna and Jane as partner coaches in the coming year.
More information for our new coaches will be coming in the next few weeks. Casey and Kim are focusing on health and wellness coaching, while Kat and Elisabeth are life coaches.
2018 is going to be an exciting year packed full of exciting retreats and events! You won’t want to miss the wonderful programs our coaches are developing for our Wholistic Woman community!
What are you afraid of? I have several “top of the list” fears: heights, bees, and certain types of reptiles! These fears are easy to manage. I don’t step too close to the edge of anything that is way up in the sky, I don’t wear perfume in the summer, and I hardly ever have to deal with reptiles. These sources of fright can be managed by lifestyle choices.
There is another type of fear that is more challenging to navigate. It can keep us from everyday activities, or trying something new. It holds us back even when we know it may be in our best interest to meet new people, try something new, speak up, shut up, or show up. Doubt plays a big role in this insidious version of fear. Doubt is the voice of the naysayer, the one who attempts to shout over our inner cheerleader. Both voices compete in our minds when we are trying to be fearless.
The naysayer lurks in a self-induced shadow of doubt and hides behind our feelings of inadequacy. It reminds us of our previous failures, the times when things didn’t work out. It’s comfort zone is a deep cavern of uncertainty. It can smother our hopes and dreams like a security blanket that is woven with the yarn of perfectionism, comparison, and scarcity. We can find ourselves sleepily going along in life, listening to the lullaby in this safety zone.
I have learned that when I listen to the cheerleader, I become more confident. The voice that is telling me to “go for it” has rarely been wrong. She encourages me and reminds me that anything is possible. Sure, I’ve been premature with some of my fearlessness, but I know that the more I trust her, the quieter her competition becomes. The shadows of doubt dwindle in the light of her spirit.
Fearlessness takes practice. I have found that taking some small, courageous steps creates the building blocks I’ve needed on my journey to finding my bravest self. Like a toddler learning to walk, I’ve steadied myself with each step. Sometimes, I’ve fallen anyway. When I do, the cheerleader reminds me to get back up, face the fear again, and step towards the courage I am seeking. These steps have ultimately led to leaps of faith, the ones that feel scary, but also exhilarating!
Listen to your cheerleader…you know who she is. She is the one saying, “You got this!”
And you do!
If you would like to learn more about being fearless…especially with your finances, I invite you to join me for the next Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat: Be Financially Fearlesson September 27th from 5:30-7:30 pm in Frederick, MD.
Today’s Author:Jane Helm is the Principal of Money Mentor Group. As a wealth coach, Jane combines decades of financial services experience with a degree in social work and psychology to bring positive financial change to her client’s lives. She is a Partner Coach with the Wholistic Coaching Coalition and co-founded the Build Your Own Business networking group. Jane can be reached via email at [email protected]
How do you do it? Are you one who likes to giggle, guffaw, snort… or do you smile quietly when something tickles your fancy?
I’ve been thinking about the importance of a good laugh lately. At times, I take humor for granted but now it’s becoming clearer just how necessary laughing is for my wellbeing…and the wellbeing of my loved ones.
Laughter releases tension, fear, and anxiety that weigh us down. It forms momentary time capsules of joy that bubble up from our center and burst effortlessly from our lips.
Who can you count on for a good laugh?
My mom and I like to giggle together. She’s almost 87 years old and I’ve noticed that her love of laugher increases with each passing year. She laughs more at herself than ever before…and I often find myself laughing with her. Whether it’s over something she can’t remember (like mixing up the names of all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren) or something she can’t do anymore – like climb into a SUV and sit down gracefully in one fell swoop. Laughing at herself seems to make aging less stressful.
Don’t get me wrong, Mom has a positive, ‘can-do’ attitude which hasn’t diminished as she ages. On a recent vacation to the lake she was determined to participate in all activities as fully as possible. Even though it was challenging, she walked the bouncy dock (with some assistance) to board our pontoon boat each day. Swimming and tubing on the lake makes boaters hungry so we would often stop for a treat of delicious homemade ice cream at the Lakeside Creamery.
The floating dock below the creamery is in cross currents that make it especially bouncy. I wasn’t sure if Mom could successfully navigate this dock even with help. She was determined to have fun (and ice cream) so Mom linked arms with my fiancé Greg and I. With us on either side of her we carefully made our way down the dock to the base of the wooden steps that led up the hillside to our frozen treats. We must have looked like three drunken sailors as we staggered this way and that way down the dock! It was a little scary but more than anything it was adventurous and fun. We laughed in joy fully appreciating that we were in it together, living, loving, and laughing our way forward. My Mom models for me and many what it’s like to age gracefully, as well as the importance of maintaining a positive attitude in the face of challenges.
Who do you know that laughs at herself (or himself) often?
Who reminds you to lighten up and not be too serious?
I’m especially aware of laughter’s value this week as a beloved family member faces a serious health diagnosis. It may seem odd to talk of laughter in the midst of a trial; however, I’m struck by just how important humor is in this sobering time. It offers a counter-balance to the understandable anxiety and fear that comes with uncertainty.
Our family, like many, loves to laugh together. As we recall memories and retell favorite stories we connect yet again with one another and deepen our bonds. Telling jokes, laughing at our own antics, and being downright silly, lightens the load, even if just for a moment.
In addition to recalling fond memories we are intentionally creating new ones each day. So while we await more test results we spend precious time together. Quality time is one of the 5 love languages and tops my list. I value it more than ever in the face of this diagnosis. To me, quality time means savoring opportunities to give hugs, to talk, smile, pray, and laugh; to enjoy one another in the simple activities of life shared together.
The source of our amusement may be the antics of small children, the family dogs, or even something as mundane as the weather. Unexpected joy bubbles up when we get soaked in a surprise rainstorm, see a rainbow after that storm, or leisurely enjoy a nourishing meal and conversation. Ultimately, it’s just about being together.
Being ‘in the moment’ can be challenging on a typical day and even more so during fearful times. Anxiety can send us into ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ mode. In these times, I find it helpful to remember that light-heartedness is a tension-reliever and can offer an element of hope. If we can still laugh, then life must still be good on some level…even when the news we face is scary and frightful.
Balance is a choice. I remind myself to counter-balance fear with love… sad with happy…tears with laughter. When I feel that life is spinning out of control, I turn to prayers that stretch out beyond me to a God that I believe knows all…and is working for good in all circumstances.
How will you balance the moments you’re given today?
Whatever this day brings, I encourage you to take time to laugh…whether you throw your head back with a great ‘HaHaHa’ or quietly giggle to yourself…savor the feeling. Remember how precious the gift of joy is each day.
Then, after you’ve savored it…spread it to around; be a source of joy for others. I invite you to join me in being a source of love and laughter!
If you’d like to learn more about cultivating positivity and experience Laughter Yoga, I invite you to the Wholistic Woman Evening Retreat: Be Positiveon August 30th from 5:30-7:30 pm. I hope to see you there!
Today’s Author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is an executive coach, founder of Wholistic Woman Retreats, and author of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. Learn more about her coaching and training services at www.caroldelaski.com or email her at: [email protected].
While we do address tough and emotional issues during coaching, Wholistic Woman also has a fun side! If you haven’t seen our Missy & Flo video series, you should watch it now! A series of 8 videos, our coaches share self-care tips in a fun and engaging way. Here’s the third video in the series:
I have learned that when I listen to the cheerleader, I become more confident. The voice that is telling me to “go for it” has rarely been wrong. She encourages me and reminds me that anything is possible. Sure, I’ve been premature with some of my fearlessness, but I know that the more I trust her, the quieter her competition becomes. The shadows of doubt dwindle in the light of her spirit.
