Do you think its possible to live your life without expectations?

For me, the answer is not yet.  I’m not spiritually evolved enough.  I haven’t learned how to fully live in the present.

My observation is that expectations come from past experiences and are related to how we believe or want something to turn out in the future.   They get in the way of being fully present in the now.

As a life coach, I work a lot with people on managing expectations.  Unrealistic expectations set us up for disappointment.  This is true on so many levels.  From little thing like when I was playing golf yesterday and I expected that I could make the 4 foot putt, and I didn’t, to bigger things like how I expect my children to dress and behave now that they are teenagers.   I encourage you to start observing how expectations show up in your life, both at work and at home, and how they may be causing you unnecessary frustration.  How often do you expect something to turn out a certain way, and when it doesn’t you get upset.  As Byron Katie says, “If you argue against reality, you will suffer”.  How would your life change if you started practicing accepting reality instead of arguing against it?

Accepting it is not the same as liking it.  Accepting it is about neutralizing your feelings about it.  I believe this puts us in a better space to choose what our next step is.  We are responsible for our own lives.  We have response-ablility.  We choose how we respond when our expectations and reality don’t line up, and what I know to be true is that when we are coming from a place of frustration, anger, intolerance or any other angst filled emotion, we are reacting and not responding.  I don’t know about you, but I always feel better when I respond versus react.

I am undoubtedly a work in progress when it comes to practicing this.  I catch myself needing to manage my expectations on a daily basis.  Being aware of the impact of my expectations has opened me up to seeing reality more clearly.  And, as reality becomes clear so do my choices of how to respond.

I encourage you to experiment with this yourself. The next time you are frustrated, mad, or just otherwise irritated, take a look at how your expectations and reality are not lining up.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on expectations vs reality and how it is showing up in your life!

Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach whose business, Hall Coaching, was established in 2009 with the vision of waking women up from the nightmares of “How did I get here?” and, “Is this as good as it gets?”, so that they can begin creating and living the life of their real dreams, hopes and desires. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com

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