“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future” – Bill Cosby
As the mother of 2 teenage girls, I often find myself in the position of offering advice and words of wisdom. What I’ve noticed in the process of doing this, is that I too usually learn something when I revisit the lessons I’m trying to teach. The above quote from Bill Cosby is one of the life lessons I’m trying to instill in my girls. I believe that who we surround ourselves with has a profound affect on us, but I really didn’t get this until I hit my late 30’s, and if I’m really being honest with myself, I am continuing to learn this lesson.
Christine Arylo, author of “Choosing Me before We: The Everywoman’s Guide to Life and Love” and MAP contributor for Compass Life Coaching (www.mylifecompass.com/laurahall) is the inspiration behind this blog. In my work with her MAP (monthly action plan) titled “Create Fabulous Friendships”, I’ve continued to look at what it really means to choose conscious friendships – friendships that are part of my life by design, not just because we happen to have children in the same school or because we work together. What I’ve learned about myself is that I want to surround myself with friends who value personal growth, are not afraid to challenge me or to be challenged themselves and in general have an optimistic outlook on life. The other side of this work is that I’ve been looking at what kind of friend I’ve been being. What I’m realizing is that I take some of my friendships for granted, assuming that they will always be there for me no matter what. I understand that if I want to cultivate fabulous friendships, I need to be a fabulous friend. I need to make time to let my friends know how much I value them by making them a priority.
It has taken me 40+ years, but I have confident that anyone who looks at my friends will see that my future is bright. I am practicing what I preach when it comes to this life lesson.
How about you? Are your friendships healthy and supportive? Are they a 2-way street? Have you outgrown some of your relationships? How do you feel about letting them go? When people look at your friends, what kind of future will they predict for you?
Today’s author: Laura Hall is an iPEC certified life coach who believes every woman deserves a coach. She offers both one on one as well as group coaching services. She can be reached at [email protected] or check out her website at www.hallcoaching.com and click on the group coaching link at the bottom to learn how to access the Create Fabulous Friendships MAP to point yourself in the right direction.
Laura,
Great article. My best friend died almost 2 years ago (I think I may have mentioned that) and I’m having a hard time establishing and/or strengtheing friendships — probably because I’m busy being a mom, Pastor’s wife, new small business owner, etc., but your article has made me think about friends I do have and what kink of relationship I may or may not want to have with them. Plus I met a nice woman at a friend’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah and have thought about asking her to go to lunch — might need to get that on the calendar! I’m interested in that Monthly Action Plan about friendships . . . . .
Lexi
Thanks for these reflections on friendships Laura. I agree completely and am delighted with the friends I surround myself with currently. I’m grateful for the variety and depth of these relationships and treasure the contributions they make to my life. There are few things as joyful as laughing with friends and few things as reassuring as the presence of a friend in hard times. Thanks for the reminder to not take them for granted.