Our Wholistic Woman Story

Our Wholistic Woman Story

by | Oct 22, 2020 | Carol deLaski

Wholistic Woman Retreats Celebrates 10 Years of:

  • Wholistic growth – heart, mind, body, and spirit
  • Teamwork
  • Loving and learning together
  • Laughter and joy
  • Overcoming fears and a few tears
  • Encouragement and Celebration
  • Wholeness

My heart is warmed as I look back over the last 10 years of women’s retreats that we have created and led. I tend to be a forward thinker so a recent walk down memory lane, looking at photographs from our past retreats, left quite an impact on me. It stirred similar emotions as those I experience when I look at pictures of my children in their various ages and stages. I exclaimed over how much development has occurred while simultaneously fondly remembering the moments that led to such growth.

It’s good to see how far we’ve come as a community, and as individuals. Since pictures tell the story so well we will be sharing photos and memories over the next 10 weeks. We hope you will enjoy the memories with us as you see the smiles, hugs, and positive energy that flows from the faces of the women who participated in our retreats. Perhaps you will see your own face among them. We encourage you to share your memories of experiences with us over the years.

Our Story – 10 years in the making…

My most important lifelong lesson has been learning how to recognize, trust, and act upon the nudges God sends my way. The creation of Wholistic Woman Retreats has taught me more about listening to the nudges God places on my heart, the seeds He plants in my mind, and the stirring of His call within my spirit.

Our story began with a dream

As so often happens, the dream started well before any action occurred. The seeds of a retreat idea were planted in my heart about 10 years before WWR ever took shape. It began when I joined the Family Life Committee at my church and helped with the coordination of many family retreats at West River Retreat Center on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Many friendships were formed through those retreats, and an especially important one was with a young woman on the committee named Pat. 

Some friends lift you up and help you to be all that you are called to be. Pat has been such a friend for me. When I went to life coaching school, Pat volunteered to be my ‘guinea pig’ and allowed me to practice my coaching skills with her. As I did so, I shared a dream that was stirring in my heart. It was a dream to take what we had done for the church and offer it to women in our area. At that time, I was going through a difficult phase of my life and divorce was on the horizon.  As my hopes for a happy marriage ended, I entered a valley of grief and looked fearfully ahead at the prospect of raising my two young sons as a single mother. I felt lost and alone in this disappointing and confusing time. I responded to an inner nudge and began to reach out to try new things, lift my spirits, and make new friends. I reconnected with yoga, meditated, and explored spiritual practices that expanded my perspective, just to name a few. Feeling isolated, I even started to a side jewelry business in the evenings to get out and socialize with other women. In these years, I often felt overwhelmed and overloaded and realized that many other women felt the same way, whether they were single mothers or not. It seemed to be a universal female experience. My gift of empathy led me to deeply care about the challenges that I saw in the women around me, and which I recognized within myself.   

I wanted to give those struggling women a break. The memory of the rejuvenating benefits of those family retreats resurfaced. I recognize that when we get away from the day-to-day grind we can truly rest, reflect, gain new perspectives, learn skills to manage better, and feel recharged. Once filled we return to our family commitments, jobs, and activities with renewed energy.

My early retreat ideas were of a physical place where women could gather to enjoy coffee, connect with one another, perhaps take a yoga class, or learn new life skills while their children were well-cared for. I envisioned a coffee shop/retreat center that would provide a haven for stressed out young mothers, empty nesters, and women searching for something yet to be defined. I visited various locations and my faithful friend Pat would sit in my car, sometimes in the pouring rain, while we talked about what was possible.

The dream, however, took an important directional change when my cousin asked a significant question one day. He asked, “Do you want to own property or be a coach?” I quickly knew the answer. My gifts are clearly designed for coaching. I’m a teacher, listener, encourager, planner, and cheerleader at heart. I’m grateful for my cousin’s question because it steered me away from the responsibilities of commercial property ownership and directed me towards leading retreats. Little did I know that it would also mean leading a retreat team.

At the core of my dream was the desire to support, encourage, and pamper women like myself, who give a lot to their families, friends, community, and careers. Women who needed a break, and a chance to refill their ever-depleting tanks. My strategic strength kicked in and expanded the vision to include massages, body work options and even shopping. I also wanted to offer learning opportunities where they could discover strategies to improve and more consistently be their best…however they defined it.

As my dream continued to evolve in my mind and heart, I started speaking about it to others besides my friend Pat. I was encouraged when women would say to me, when you have your retreat, I want to come. My heart was touched even more when, occasionally, some women would say, when you do your retreat, I want to help. Those statements were water that sprouted the seeds within me and from which this organization ultimately grew.

The story takes shape

In the fall of 2009 I went for coffee with a new friend, Jeanette Eleff, who was a fellow coach and entrepreneur. She was curious to hear more about my dream of doing retreats and she asked great questions to help me give voice to my vision. In the end, she summarized with, “Carol, I can tell that you’re a mover and a shaker. I want to help you do this retreat.” My response indicated the self-doubt I was feeling, “Really? Do you mean that?” You see, my top strengths lie in relationship-building. I’m better at connecting with people and thoughts than with actually making a dream become a reality. I have found that I need people around me who activate me into action. Without Jeanette’s prompt, I might still be thinking about my vision to this day. Her reply of “Yes, I certainly do mean it” changed my life and, as a consequence, touched many, many other lives.

Jeanette and I met throughout the fall to plan a day retreat for women which would be held the following spring. As we planned, I mentioned that several women had offered their help once the dream was in motion. We agreed to invite those women to a planning meeting. So, on a January day in 2010, I lit a cozy fire, poured cups of hot tea, and sat in a circle with five women who shared the heartfelt call to lead a retreat. Jeanette and I welcomed Kelye, Laura, Sandie and Lisa into our circle and in doing so the Wholistic Coaching Coalition took shape. In three short months we planned and held what would be the first of many wonderful retreats to nurture women’s personal and professional development. 

To be clear, we didn’t plan to start a retreat organization. We simply planned a retreat. We agreed on the core principal that it would be wholistic – and purposefully spelled it with a ‘W’ to remind us of our intention to provide programs focused on the whole women – her body, heart, mind, and spirit.  The first retreat was held in the Catoctin Mountains at a beautiful lodge known as ThorpeWood. We invited practitioners to offer their services, thus providing an element of pampering and education about alternative bodywork – acupuncture, reiki, massage, chiropractic and more rounded out a day of reflection, learning new life skills, good food, laughter, and mutual support. Forty-five women joined us for this day retreat in the woods. For me, it was a dream come true as I walked among them, felt their energy, and saw their glowing faces. It felt amazing to pour into others and to have our offerings received with such appreciation. We were providing a gentle, soaking rain of love onto the thirsty soil of these women’s lives…and in doing so we blessed our own lives.

Some dreams are too big to do alone.

At the closing session of the first retreat, I reflected that I couldn’t have done it without the team of women who showed up and offered their assistance. I still believe that today, 10 years later. Some visions require a team to make them a reality. My dream took flight with Jeanette’s spark of encouragement and the subsequent team that formed. We co-created something that was wonderfully enriching for women. Through this, I’ve learned that I thrive when I am interdependent with others whose talents complement mine. My developer and woo strengths expanded to initiate partnerships with other coaches and business partners. My dream became a shared vision, and we went on to hold many kinds of retreats over the past 10 years. Day retreats, overnight retreats, evening retreats, and most recently a long-desired destination retreat to Sedona, AZ. Each retreat provided a platform for founding and partner coaches to teach their area of expertise and to provide the attendees with new resources, tools, and strategies for personal and professional development.

We believe that each program attracted the women who were meant to be there. Each one attracted the sponsors who felt led to support us, allowing us to offer enhancements that would not have been possible without them. Expanding from our home base of Frederick Md, we have held retreats in Virginia, Pennsylvania, other parts of Maryland, and now Sedona, AZ. Over the years, a wonderful community of women as formed. We refer to them as women-on-the-grow. They are busy women who know how important it is to take time to recharge. Retreats are key to sustaining their well-being and to continuing their lifelong development. Some of these women have stayed with us for a season of their lives, others came for just a single event, and still others have stayed connected to us throughout our ten-year journey. We have welcomed and cared for them all.

Our belief is one of attraction.

We believe that the women who are meant to attend our programs will arrive right on time. Personally, I believe God is nudging and/or calling them to us. I trust that they know within themselves which of our coaches and partners they are meant to connect with and to follow. 

As coaches, we are skillful at meeting each woman where she is and accepting her for how she is. We practice non-judgment with open minds and hearts. We give encouragement and celebrate progress. We believe in life-long learning and personal growth. We teach tips and strategies to expand self-awareness which ultimately leads to more choices. With increased awareness we can decide if we want to continue what we are doing or if we want to make changes, either slight or major shifts. We offer an environment of love and support. Women soak up knowledge and deepen the roots of their own spirit in our midst. Hearts, minds, bodies, and spirits grow stronger and more confident in this rich soil.

This beautiful organization has been a dream come true. 

I celebrate our 10 years of living, loving, and growing together.

I celebrate the original team, and the subsequent team which evolved as some women moved on and others joined us on this journey.

I celebrate the many coaches (both founders and partner coaches) who have contributed their unique voices and expertise to our community.

I celebrate the alliance partners who offered their expertise providing necessary business skills to support the smooth operation of this impactful organization. 

Most of all, I celebrate the women – in all their stages of life – who have attended our programs.

I am profoundly grateful for the growth I have been honored to witness. Thank you for being part of my life lesson as I continue to learn about following God’s nudges and the calling He stirs within my heart. My soul bows to each of yours in gratitude for being on the journey together…then – now – and in the days ahead.

What Makes a Woman Strong and Resilient?

What Makes a Woman Strong and Resilient?

by | Mar 2, 2020 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development, Self-Care

This is the Year of the Woman when we celebrate the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote. At the risk of dating myself I have the Helen Reddy song, ‘I am Woman’ going through my head…

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
’cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman…

You can probably tell that these lyrics are referring to more than just physical strength. In addition to sheer stamina, what other attributes contribute to a woman’s overall, wholistic strength? What makes her resilient and capable of bouncing back from adversity? The answers will vary for each of us, but let’s look for commonalities.

What makes women strong and are we truly invincible?

To begin with…let’s think about the word strong and understand what we mean by wholistic strength. These are the qualities that make you the unique woman you are. They show up in the way you think and feel as well as in your physical and spiritual activities.

I wonder if you’re similar to me and can more readily identify the strengths of your friends and colleagues than you can for yourself. It’s easier for me to state what I treasure and appreciate about others, but much harder to ascertain that about myself.

Yet like our unique thumbprints, I believe that we each have our own individual ‘soul-prints’ that comprises our strengths, weaknesses, core values, and beliefs. God gave us each an individual design which we continue to develop through our life experiences, whether consciously or unconsciously.

Over the years, a certain degree of humility has kept me quiet about my natural talents. I’ve learned, though, that I need to identify these strengths and talents in order to gain confidence and to be aware of my blind spots, i.e. the areas that I don’t understand well about myself. If I’m unclear about my talents, how can I effectively manage them? It’s necessary to know what my God-given talents are in order to optimally use them for good. I will never be perfect, but being dedicated to lifelong learning helps me to continually evolve into a better version of myself.

I have been on a journey of greater self-awareness about my strengths for the past 7 years. Each day holds new opportunities for me to learn more about myself and how I manage my talents. I fine-tune how I use my gifts based on feedback that I receive.

Did you ever play the Hot and Cold game as a child? It’s almost like a verbal Hide and Seek. One person is the Seeker and leaves the room while the group quietly identifies an object to be found. When the Seeker returns to the room, she searches for the object based on guidance from the group. The group members, however, may only say ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ when directing the seeker. As the seeker moves farther away from the object the group says “cold, colder, cold”. As she moves closer to the chosen object the group encourages her with “warm, warmer, warm” and shouts “hot” when she touches it. There is delight on both sides when the Seeker finds what she is looking for. This simple childhood game is a great example of the need to give and receive feedback. We can be lost and off-course without it and waste unnecessary time going in the wrong direction. With a little help from our friends, we can more easily find our way.

We each have a role in guiding one another towards success. How? By giving positive feedback to reinforce behaviors that are working well. You do that when you let others know what you appreciate about them. It’s also crucial to let them know when their actions aren’t working well. Without feedback, we don’t know what to change. Effective delivery of feedback is a key leadership competency. You practice it every day whether you’re aware of it or not.

I enjoy teaching that our strengths have a light and a dark side. The light side is when they are working well and getting the results that we want. The dark side is when they are not working well. They are overwhelming others, or us, with too much of a good thing. I like to think of each of my top strengths as having a dial where I can turn them up or down to calibrate the desired impact that I want in different situations. With conscious observation, I can then notice when I need to use more or less of my strengths.

For example, my top strength according to Gallup’s Strength Finder assessment is empathy. That means I tend to lead with my heart, follow my intuition, and sense other’s emotions with ease. Simply put, I care a lot. It serves me well when I am connecting with others. I’ve been told that I’m a good listener and people can sense that I genuinely care. It can overwhelm me, though, when I am bombarded by negativity on the news or when I feel powerless to help improve a hurting person or situation. My empathy can also overwhelm others when I’m being too sensitive and trying to connect on a level that they may not be ready or willing to do so.

Empathy is only one of my strengths and I could tell you much more that I’ve learned about dialing it up and down. That’s another article! I have nine more strengths in my top ten and each one provides a wealth of information for me as a leader, a family member, and a friend. The truth is I will always be learning more about my strengths because each day provides new opportunities and configurations of people, situations, and experiences for learning. Knowing and owning my strengths gives me a powerful tool to better understand and use my unique thumbprint and God-given design for good.

Resilient women know how to use their strengths effectively and apply them wholistically throughout all areas of their life.

Are we invincible? What about weakness?

Unlike the superwoman in the song ‘I am Woman,’ this woman is not invincible.

It’s important to not only understand what makes us strong but also to examine areas of weakness. What do you do when you’re in the dark side of your strengths? One option is to turn it down and turn up a different strength. When my empathy is on overload, I know I need to re-calibrate by dialing up my strategic thinking strengths. My head balances my heart when it’s on overload. What else can we do?

Personally, when I get to the end of my own abilities (which is every day) I lean into my faith. I believe in a God and higher power who is supremely capable. In fact, I believe it is part of the divine design for us to hit our limits so that we will reach out for help. We aren’t meant to be all-powerful and all capable. We are meant to be in relationship with others – to need them – and to be needed. That’s the human balance.

In my book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, I share my perspective that relationships are a beautiful kaleidoscope made up of many triangles. I picture each of my relationships as a triangle with God at the top and myself and the other person making up the other two points. As we each grow our relationship with God, the bond between the two of us grows stronger.

I also believe the Good Book which frequently says, “when you are weak, I am strong.” It reminds me of God’s promise to be present and provide His strength when I reach the end of my limits. It encourages me and reminds me that I am never alone. I don’t have to be strong and have it altogether all the time. I am designed to be imperfect and in need of help, both divine and human.

I can be a strong woman…and a weak woman at the same time. I can be good at some things and not good at other things. I can embrace my talents and relax in knowing that I am a work in progress, always learning more about how to effectively use those talents.

With that knowledge, I can sing “I am woman, hear me roar! I am woman watch me soar” into the realm of God’s love and guidance.

Resilient women know their limits and lean on their support team when needed. They are connected and know how to give and receive help.

What is your unique Strengths story?

We each have a story to tell about our individual qualities and how we use them. How have they contributed to your own resilience? What have you learned over the years about the light and dark sides of your strengths? When do your talents work best? When do they overwhelm you? What strategies do you have to address areas of weakness? What do you do when you reach your limit?

I invite you to discuss these questions and explore your strengths and resilience story with me at Discover & Own Your Strengths Evening Retreat on March 25th from 5:30-7:30 pm. I hope to see you there!

Looking In, Up and Out with One Word

Looking In, Up and Out with One Word

by | Jan 22, 2020 | Carol deLaski, Goals, Kelye Rouse-Brown, Laura Hall

Every year, the Wholistic Woman Retreat community gathers together at our first evening retreat of the year to discuss our One Word for the year. This year, we thought we’d share with you the three steps of the One Word and how our founding coaches Carol, Laura and Kelye approach these three steps. 

Coach Carol shares about looking in

My favorite way to prepare my heart for One Word is during my morning quiet time. I usually start my days, while still in my PJs, nestled in my comfy chair with a hot cup of tea, lit candles, and inspirational reading. It sets a positive tone for my day when I ground myself with gratitude, prayer, and personal reflection. 

This is when I feel most calm, centered, and am ready to ask the powerful questions “What do I need more of? What do I need less of? What needs to go?” 

My mind is quick with an answer however, I intentionally listen with my heart and soul, as well. For example, this year as I asked those questions my mind readily knew the answers: I need to slow down, do less, give myself more downtime, and allow myself more time to get from one activity to another. I came up with several words that captured this energy: Release, Receive, Savor, Time, Slow were a few of the options. I thought of many good words, but I wanted a God-inspired word. I waited for a sign indicating which one God was directing me to. I asked, what word do You want me to learn from this year, God? 

In 2019 my Word repeatedly came to me with a physical manifestation. With my head bowed in prayer, it dropped heavily forward when my spirit knew my word: Approval. I wait for such a sign again this year. This is my 8th year using One Word to guide me and consistently the knowing of my word has come in my core instead of my head. I feel it more than I think it. I know it is true because of an inner calm or rightness to it. 

When I get quiet, pray, listen, and wait, my word reveals itself to me. 

Coach Laura shares about looking up

One Word is one of my favorite tools that we use and teach here at Wholistic Woman Retreats!   Step 2 in the process is about waiting for your word to show up for you. It’s about receiving a word vs picking one.  I’m a girl who looks for divine “signs” in life which I take as indications that I am where I am supposed to be. I have a playful plaque in my bedroom that reads, “If You’re Waiting For A Sign. This Is It”.

One of the amazing parts of the one word process has been the “signs” I have received that the word floating around my thoughts is indeed my One Word.  This year has been no exception.  

Late in 2019, as I began the One Word Process, the word “unveiled” came to mind.  It comes from a notion I’ve held since my teens that at our core, we are all pure love and pure light.  It’s what you see in babies when you look deep in their eyes. My belief is that over time we are conditioned by the world we live in and this bright light begins to be covered up with “veils” that block the light.  As I thought about the questions, What do I need?, What’s in my way? and What needs to go? the answer was your veils. Hence the word, “unveiled”. Fast forward to December 30th… I’m on a holiday cruise with my family.  I turn the TV on in my cabin and in the bottom right hand of the screen is the name of the program they are showing… UNVEILED. This was the sign I was waiting for and at that moment I knew, unveiled was my one word for 2020.

Coach Kelye shares about looking out

I have arranger in my top 5 strengths for executing skills so I get a kick out of living my word for the year and have fun with it. I truly am disciplined when I choose a word and become very loyal to how I lead each day throughout the year. My words over the years such as Shine, Move, Roots, LEAP, Savvy and Breathe stack up year after year forming new, fresh positive beliefs and habits.  My new word discovery for 2020 is Rhythm and I have already started stepping out of my comfort zone with this word.

Stillness and meditation don’t come easy to me so I have to work harder to get in the “rhythm” of my day to show up my best and for others. This way of moving in the day has created a CEO in the flow approach personally for me. It started working for me at my Wholebeing Positive Psychology immersion at Kripalu health and yoga center in Massachusetts. All of my days included Let Your Yoga Dance which is a way to spread joy and consciousness and embodies Positive Psychology. Not leaving BREATHE behind, my 2019 word, I now focus on my breath and rhythm in my day. It became my 30-day Mindful Movement practice which I shared at two of our Wholistic Woman events to wrap up 2019.  

Creating a practice is certainly one way to live out your word and to feel alive and aligned within. My goal now is to create a 365-day practice in 2020 with Rhythm. How do I keep my words front and center and grow year after year? 

Here are some special examples:

Shine – the year I needed more sparkle after my mom passed away – I went to Sarah Mclachlan’s concert Shine On – and bonus, I received about 3 of her CD’s from friends that year. So listening to music or picking a song is a great way to keep your word alive.

Roots – the year I needed to feel more grounded with family – I traveled to Oklahoma to bring my mom closer to her mom and had a ceremony with her childhood friends and family. So traveling is another great way to feel the effect and internalize your one word. 

LEAP – the year I needed help moving forward with fun – I created a LEAP program for my business that is now company-wide – it stands for Leadership, Engagement, Attitude and Positive Performance. Creating a program, or a mantra is a great way to personalize your one word. 

Some other daily ways are to keep a journal or create a vision board. We are planning a vision board activity with my team in Texas to set the “tone” for vision 2020. This will include individual one words and our team one word, MORE, to focus on together. 

All I can say about the third step in One Word is enjoy and experience the journey. I can’t imagine using the same word year after year; there are so many opportunities for growth and change. Change can be difficult and stretch us, but it’s all part of the process. Live it out and be ALL IN!

We look forward to seeing you at our One Word evening retreat – Gain 2020 VIsion!

A Wholistic Approach to One Word

A Wholistic Approach to One Word

by | Jan 16, 2019 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development

A Wholistic Approach to One Word

Are you familiar with the practice of using One Word for the year?

Many find this tool more helpful than New Year’s resolutions which can fall by the wayside within a few weeks or months. The idea is that your One Word guides and teaches you throughout the course of a full year. Based on the easy-to-read book, One Word that will Change your Life, by Gordon, Britton, and Page, the practice is simple yet highly impactful. Now in my 7th year using the One Word practice, I have decided to take a Wholistic approach to the practice. This means I will consider my One Word through the four perspectives of wholeness; heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Allow me to explain this approach using my one word from last year as an example.

My word for 2018 was Beloved and it has taught me a great deal in the past 12 months. I like to reflect on the lessons learned before I move on to another word for the New Year.

Heart: As you might imagine, the word Beloved was relatively easy to experience on a heart level. I paid close attention to the inward and outward dimensions of it. Inward meant noticing what it feels like to be someone’s Beloved; to be the recipient of their love and attention. Outward meant noticing what it feels like to show others that they are Beloved to me. 2018 was a significant year as I married my longtime sweetheart, Greg. I had the opportunity to give and receive love in new ways as I committed the rest of my life to this Beloved man and to our blended families. In addition, the year offered significant lessons as I walked, (and continue to walk) a journey through the diagnosis of a terminal illness with a Beloved brother-in-law and sister. This word taught me anew not to take the people I love for granted. You can read more about these heart lessons in Be Loved, My Beloved. 

Mind: When I thought about the word Beloved, I immediately went to the dictionary to learn its official definition. Webster’s tells us that it means ‘dearly loved, or dear to the heart’. No surprise there. I am aware who is dear to my heart, as I imagine you are, too. However, I cannot help but wonder how well I express that ‘dearness’ to those who are Beloved to me. Like many, I often get caught up in the busyness of life and focus on completing the tasks that make up my work and life activities. I believe that what we focus on grows, so when I focus on accomplishing tasks, I must admit that I get a lot done and feel satisfaction from my efforts. However, something is lost when I allow myself to focus solely on my ‘to-do list’. I lose the being part of me. I have learned this year to focus more on being with those I love. I have prioritized quality time with those dear to me and have built a wealth of joyful memories as a result of that prioritization. I still get my work and life tasks done, but there is a better balance now as I try to make sure those who are dear to me know just how much I treasure them.

Body: I was surprised at what I found when I looked at my word Beloved from a physical perspective. Similar to what I learned from the heart and mind dimensions, I noticed that it had to do with taking people for granted. In this case, however, it was my own health and well-being that I took for granted. I tend to assume that my body will function how I need it to each day. It isn’t until I get sick or injure myself that I realize just how precious a healthy body is. I am in awe of the physical design and intricate systems of the human body. I consider my body a gift from my Creator. I see that gift as a Temple and feel a responsibility to maintain my health in optimal condition so that I can be (and do) all that I am called to be and do. Early in 2018, I was motivated to treat my body very well as I prepared for our wedding. During the first half of the year, I was a healthy eater, exercised more than ever before, got plenty of sleep, and generally practiced excellent self-care. After the wedding, however, I took a break from those good habits and I am still trying to get back to them 6 months later. I admit that self-care can be hard for me. I’ve had a lifelong tendency to focus on others more than on myself. According to Gallup’s Strengths Finder, my leadership style is ‘Relationship Building’ and I agree completely.  I love people; whether at work or at play I am fascinated by human interactions. This year I added a new tool to my personal development with the Enneagram assessment, an ancient typology of nine interconnected personality types. According to the assessment, I am a 2, which is known as The Helper. It confirmed yet again that I am hardwired to focus on others. I am designed this way. My word Beloved, when focused inward, reminds me to incorporate self-care with the care of others. It is absolutely necessary to take care of my body and health in order to be the giver that I am designed to be.

Spirit: To be honest, I was somewhat uncomfortable when the word Beloved first resonated with me early in 2018. It is not a word that I use in everyday speech, so it felt a bit awkward. My use of it was infrequent and, even then, it was in written form. It is a word that I usually see in my favorite Good Book, so I have thought of it as a spiritual word. I can almost hear God’s voice saying, “This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” It felt like too grand of a word for me. It was a word to describe the Son of God, not Carol Sue. But because the One Word practice comes from God/Spirit I felt compelled to pursue it this past year. I delighted in highlighting Beloved whenever it appeared in my daily devotionals. Unlike my other yearly theme words, this word has not appeared very often in conversations, on posters or coffee mugs or in songs, but it has appeared often in my devotional readings. There has been a wonderful spiritual connection whenever I have read the word Beloved because I can almost hear God saying it…and that brings me joy. I have also been reminded that one of the names for the Holy Spirit is The Helper. This reminder encourages me to trust that there is a Force greater than I which helps those in need. I can relax and not spread myself so thin by quickly swooping in with assistance. I prayerfully ask the Spirit to guide me every day in offering my help. I have learned that spiritually guided help is much more effective and less exhausting in the long run. I use the prayer that I wrote in my book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, each day to orient and ground me:

Dear God, be personal and present with me today; Be my best friend. Help me see how you are guiding and providing for me; Holy Spirit, You lead. Continue to heal my heart swiftly and silently so that I can be all that you created me to be; Make me whole. Amen.

As I ask God to guide me each day, I embrace in a trusting relationship with my Creator. I feel connected and sense when my actions are in alignment with the Spirit.

I share this example of a Wholistic Approach to One Word because I find that it adds a deeper dimension to my yearly word practice. I encourage you to try it as well. If you are new to the One Word practice, I suggest that you read the book mentioned above and find a Stretch Team to discuss your word with throughout the year.

Women in the surrounding Frederick area are invited to join me for an evening retreat about the Wholistic Approach to One Word on January 30th from 5:30-7:30 pm. Click here for more details and registration information.

A second invitation is to join a One Word Coaching Group offered by the Wholistic Coaching Coalition. These small groups are open to women and men and will meet conveniently via Zoom calls in February and March to get you off to a great start with your One Word for 2019. Click here for more details.

Feel free to comment here with your thoughts and questions.

Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a strengths-based executive leadership coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected]

Four Tips to Increase Gratitude

Four Tips to Increase Gratitude

by | Nov 23, 2018 | Carol deLaski, Gratitude

Four Tips to Increase Gratitude

Have you ever had a day where you ran from one activity to the next, barely having time to catch your breath? It’s on days like these that I tend to lose sight of the small things that bless my life. I may miss a kind look, word of encouragement, or the beauty of the world around me.

At this time of year, we focus on gratitude and giving thanks for the big and small blessings that surround us. In the busy-ness of daily life, it’s easy to be distracted. Here are four tips to develop a gratitude practice.

Gratitude Tips for Busy People:

1- Prime the Pump – Priming is the cognitive state which increases sensitivity to certain stimuli. For example, it can cause you to see a certain type of car on the road more frequently after you buy one yourself. When you are intentionally grateful you prime your mind to see reality through a filter of thankfulness and abundance. The more you do it, the more you’ll feel it. Develop your ‘gratitude muscle’ by noticing things every day for which you are grateful.

2 – Play a Gratitude Game – Take a few minutes to reflect appreciatively each day. Whether you do it before bed, or over your morning coffee, or as you’re driving, notice 3 things that are right and good. Consider including yourself on the list. Say it out loud, or write it down, in this format: “I am grateful for __________because________.” Knowing why you are grateful expands and deepens the experience, bringing it more fully into your heart.

3 – Give to Get More Abundance – When we give our time, attention, or money we are using our resources for the benefit of others. Something magical happens for both the giver and the receiver when we share. It becomes a powerful force of positive energy. Until we give, it is only a potential source of power. It is through giving that you are able to realize the full power and extent of the gifts in your life and the true nature of abundance. When we recognize that we have enough to share we are making a statement to the universe that we are living abundantly, and we shift our hearts to a place of generosity. This circle of good energy expands every time we give.

4 – Being Grateful Even in Hard Situations – For many of us this is the most challenging step of all. Let’s face it, learning to apply gratitude around the unpleasant, negative and painful situations in our lives is difficult. The key lies in realizing that we don’t have to be grateful for the event, person, or thing itself but rather in the learning that occurred from it. Notice how you are growing, or what opportunities are opening up for you as a result of the experience to shift to a more positive perspective.

Most of us were taught to say “thank you” as children. We know those two simple words can have a powerful impact, smoothing out the rough edges of our interpersonal interactions. “Thank You” can become so much more when we develop a practice of mindful gratitude.  It has been said to be the most powerful form of prayer and is the simplest way to shift our energy from negative to positive. Try it today. Being grateful-on-purpose will help you see the abundance in your life on a regular basis.

 

Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a strengths-based executive coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected]

What is Coaching?

What is Coaching?

by | Sep 28, 2018 | Carol deLaski

What is Coaching?

The dictionary defines a life coach as a person who counsels and encourages clients on matters having to do with careers or personal challenges. It is a profession that is uniquely different from consulting, mentoring, therapy, or counseling.

A coach skillfully meets clients where they are and guides them forward, identifying and acting on specific personal and professional goals. Clients may choose to focus on a wide range of topics, some of which are inter-personal skills, relationships, work/life balance, work transitions (such as entering, shifting, or exiting a career)…or life transitions such as empty-nesting, re-entering the workforce, retirement, and much more.

The goal is greater self-awareness so that the client can make the best choices for her/himself. In the coaching conversation we identify what is going on right now, what your obstacles or challenges might be, and choose a course of action to move forward. Coaching always includes action steps and your coach becomes an accountability partner to ensure that you do what you say that you want to do; and if you don’t, then the coach helps you learn why that is.

Many coaching clients are healthy, successful people who might feel a bit stuck, or who want to make a significant change in their lives. They want the support of their own personal coach to shift out of their head and get into action.

The Wholistic Coaching Coalition is a cadre of coaches with a variety of specialties ranging from personal, executive, financial, health, parenting, and leadership development. Our goal is to help people continually evolve into their best selves through personal and professional development activities and programs.

At our ‘Be You’ Evening Retreats certified professional life and business coaches facilitate programs that teach tools and strategies that help women more consistently be their best.

Our unique programs have a coach-approach where we ask powerful questions to help you discover what is best for you! We listen and accept you as you are while encouraging you to grow more into the person you want to be.

 

 

Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a strengths-based executive coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected]