by Kat Middleton | Nov 23, 2021 | Change
Have you ever missed an exit while driving and had to adjust your course, or perhaps GPS changed it for you?
How about those of you on a weight loss journey. What happens when you hit a plateau? What do you do?
Do you, like me, practice being conscious of directing and re-directing those thoughts?
The agency of Adapting is all about the choices we make to change and the actions we take. First, let’s look at some of the definitions and terminology:
Agency:
In social science, the word agency is defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and make their own free choices. Thus, one’s agency is one’s independent capacity or ability to work on one’s will.
Agency, by definition, is action or intervention, especially such as to produce a particular effect.
Adapt:
Is to make suitable to requirements or conditions; adjust or modify fittingly. For example, suppose you adapt to a new situation or adapt yourself to it. In that case, you change your ideas or behavior to deal with it successfully. If you adapt something, you change it to make it suitable for a new purpose or situation. From a therapeutic perspective, occupation adaptation was applied and defined as adapting the self and the environment to provide holistic care or intervention.
So, as Wholistic Women, The Agency of Adapting is the choice to act, and make a change to grow. However, there is something that often gets in our way. It’s called the comfort zone. Here’s a poem I think you may be able to relate to:
How big is your comfort zone? Our comfort zones are filled with ease, safety, and security. They feel so comfortable like a favorite pair of cozy pajamas. To step outside of the comfort zone feels risky, and scary.
Who remembers Turkish taffy candy and the satisfaction of beginning to pull your taffy apart? It felt so good to feel that stretch, but the taffy would suddenly snap in two and break if you were to stretch it too far.
We feel good too when we stretch ourselves in new yet small ways outside of our comfort zone; however, if we try for too much, too fast, we can become frustrated and fail in our attempts. Change is complex.
Here are a few benefits to being adaptable.
• Leadership
• Happiness
• Satisfaction/Contentment
• Being able to bounce back quicker
• Better equipped to face challenges
• More current and relevant
• Open to new ideas and able to offer more value to yourself and those around you
• Responds and sees growth opportunities.
People who demonstrate the skill of adaptability have the mindset to be continually growing personally and professionally. This proactive attitude helps them be successful in all endeavors of life. Being flexible, resilient, and responsive to change in these COVID times, holiday times, and changing times is a fundamental skill set. Learning how to manage the stress of life is a true benefit to our overall health and wellness.
In this Thanksgiving season, may you embrace this skill and feel the success it has to offer you. Change is constant and inevitable. So, learn to be a change agent and ADAPT!
Happy Holidays,
Wholeheartedly,
Kat
♥️
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by Kat Middleton | Sep 9, 2021 | Personal Development
Have you ever listened to yourself say “I’m not good enough to do _________________fill in the blank? Here are a few more
- Not pretty enough
- Not smart enough
- Too old
- Too young
- Too fake
- I don’t have what it takes
You get where I’m going with this.
“Going through life with self-limiting beliefs is like keeping your foot on the brakes when you’re trying to accelerate.” – lotuspathway.com
Messages like these can creep up on us for those out there who have an inner critic (and we all do). How do you think this affects our sense of self-worth? What is self-worth?
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-worth as “a sense of one’s own value as a human being” and “a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.” Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself primarily through your self-evaluated abilities and performance in your everyday activities-occupations. This is where we can be in our heads and start to hear the inner critic dish out some self-limiting beliefs. It can be anything from our appearance, class status, career status, bank account, social media following, technical abilities, etc. Guilt and shame have a sneaky way of showing up here.
It would help you to challenge the inner critic whispering, sometimes even shouting these things into your ear. Are the statements factual, kind, something you need to know? If not, no matter what is being said by the inner critic, stand in your sacred worthiness, claim what is rightfully yours to own and protect. Remind yourself in that very instant YOU ARE ENOUGH, SAFE, and a WORTHY PERSON. Once you understand, accept, and love yourself for all you indeed are, a true miracle, you will no longer depend on external factors to validate your self-worth. You will begin to appreciate yourself and bask in self-love and self-acceptance. You have the power; you have always had the power. Understand your self-value comes from the internal measure you set for yourself. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. Thank you, Whitney!
“When you mark where your self-doubt is, then you can begin to conquer it.” – Stephen Richards.
“There is one grand lie-that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.” -Wayne Dyer.
According to Brené Brown in the book, Dare to Lead, “A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.” That includes us. So, what is the single most crucial factor that distinguishes great leaders from the rest? Which personal quality is most likely to inspire confidence and respect among our fellow humankind? Which aspect of YOU should you focus on to put your life on the fast track to success? The answer to all these questions is a single word: ENERGY!
This is where the transformational energetic levels come in and can be a tool to help us measure and track what energy level we reside in and what our default energetic levels are. Let me explain. Bruce Schneider of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) provides us a model with seven energetic levels in his book Energy Leadership. This helps us to become more aware of our personal and professional power. We will explore how to become an influential leader who motivates ourselves and others to reach our full potential. You will learn to recognize that the seven distinct levels are the key to understanding why everyone thinks and acts the way they do. Here are the seven levels:
1-The Victim
2-The Fighter
3-The Rationalizer
4-The Caregiver
5-The Opportunist
6-The Visionary
7-The Creator
The leadership of self and others starts and ends with these seven energetic levels. So, let’s see how you are showing up? Please join me for the next WWR+A event, either virtually via Zoom, or at Brewers Alley in person, on September 29, 2021, to learn more about energy, my signature WORTHY model, the energy leadership index assessment, and much, much more.
Today’s References
Book — Energy Leadership
Lyrics for The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston
What is Self-Worth, and How Do We Increase it?
Dare to Lead | PDF Book Summary | By Brené Brown.
by Kat Middleton | Jun 21, 2021 | Happiness, Personal Development
What comes to your mind, or what do you think of when I say the word WATER?
When I was just a young girl of about 9-years old, my family moved overseas. Every weekend, all six of us would pile into the red and white VW Camper and travel to some new and exciting location in Italy. My dad usually took the scenic route along the coastline of the Mediterranean Sea. I can still recall the thrill and utter amazement of coming around a corner only to see the magnificent majesty of the deep blue sea, Breathtaking!
Water relaxes the mind, heals the body, soothes the heart, and calms the spirit! Water has always been an incredible source of healing for me; how about you?
Have you ever heard of Blue Mind Science? Is it the study of the aquatic environment’s health benefits? It offers up a cure for whatever ails you, whether it’s stress, anxiety, or just a case of the blues.
Humans are naturally drawn to water. That’s why most communities are built near bodies of water. Scientists are now quantifying the positive physical and cognitive effects of water. It turns out it leads to an improved overall sense of wellbeing and can produce a meditative state that makes us happier, healthier, calmer, creative, and more capable of AWE! And all for free!
Whether it’s going down to the ocean, visiting the local swimming pool, sitting in a jacuzzi, the smell of rain, a good thunderstorm, or spa service, water heals. Did you know the word SPA is an abbreviation for Solus Par Aqua, which means health or healing through water? Have you ever experienced a Vichy shower?
Now I would be remiss as an OT Practitioner and a Wholistic Empowerment Coach if I didn’t mention HYDRATION and its importance. Did you know that humans are approximately 70% water? Have you experienced any of the following?
• Dry skin
• Dry mouth
• Brain fog
• Moodiness
• Headache
• Muscle cramps
• Dizziness
• Rapid heart rate
These are all symptoms of dehydration:
Whether you choose to drink tap, spring, mineral, seltzer, purified, alkaline, vitamin, or well-water, so long as it is safe, the main goal is to stay hydrated and drink enough water each day to stay healthy and happy. Also, what is it they say about the fountain of youth? Why not stop for a spot of tea or pause this season for some delicious watermelon.
Some benefits of water are:
• Better heart health and overall health
• Increased energy and brain function
• Lubricated joints and more robust muscles
• Ease with digestion
• Maximized physical performance
And the list goes on. Water is therapeutic!
To you, it might just be water, but to me, it’s how I regain my sanity.
I want to end today’s blog with a quote by Sir George Sitwell.
“I have left almost to the last the magic of water, an element which owing to its changefulness of form and mood and color and to the vast range of its effects is ever the principal source of landscape beauty, and has like music a mysterious influence over the mind.”
— Sir George Sitwell, On the Making of Gardens
May you experience a wholehearted, wholistic sense of wellbeing, along with the Blue Mind happier, healthier, calmer, more creative, and capable of Awe, MAGIC OF WATER OFTEN!
by Kat Middleton | May 15, 2020 | Kat Middleton, Self Love, Self-Care
It’s was my turn to write a blog. The pressure was on, but the words just wouldn’t come. Then a thousand words came but just didn’t fit together. Then it occurred to me to use the universal language we all understand, Music to help you better understand Radical Love. Here goes!
Love
Waymaker, Miracle worker, Promise Keeper, light in the darkness, my God, that is who you are!
For me, it starts and stops with Faith, something greater than myself. A place always welcomed, loved, seen as a miracle, wanted, appreciated, guided, and challenged. A place I can go to all the time or anytime I run out of my own strength. Here, I have someone to turn to. A power source I can plug into, pray to, believe in and feel energized from. It is the faith of my heart. A Miracle morning quiet time is my path to peace, focus, and power. A little tapping too, but that’s in another blog. What higher power is LOVE to you?
Self-Love
Learning to Love Yourself Is the Greatest Love of All. Houston teaches us about self-love and the epic journey to self-realization. Whitney said, ” I feel that the road to self-love is a deep, intricate and challenging journey, but one that will teach us about the meaning of a true, genuine, happy, and honest existence”.
Whitney struggled to embrace these words… However, she left us a powerful message of Love. “We must all learn how to love ourselves. It’s the only way we can save the world. We must equip our youth with the tools to create a better future for themselves and the next generation. We must teach our youth, and ourselves, the true meaning of self-love, The Greatest Love of All”.
Casey Musgraves’s song Rainbow is a message she wrote to herself and anyone else who is feeling any weight on their shoulders. She sings to us that there has always been a rainbow hanging over your head. Casey Musgrave tells us we are all exceptional indeed!
The Love of Others
Once we value ourselves, we can then value others, too. Life, History, and COVID-19 has shown us how important this is. The Times They Are A-Changing said, Bob Dylan.
I couldn’t come up with just one song, so here is a medley of songs. We genuinely do all need one another. We are truly interconnected.
Bruno Mars says You Can Count on Me
He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother
With a Little Help from My Friends
You’ve Got A Friend In Me from Toy Story
We Are family
People Who Need People
Radical Love
In closing, Love, Self-Love and Loving others all combine together and form Radical Love!
The final two songs today hopefully sum it up well.
What the World Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love!
Michael Jackson, and a variety of very talented artist sing We Are The WORLD!
by Kat Middleton | Nov 18, 2019 | Confidence, Self-Care
What if you woke up with the snap of my fingers and believed, truly believed, without question, YOU were Worthy of Love?
Pause for a moment and imagine that.
In Karen Casey’s book Worthy of Love, she writes, “There is probably no expression in my life more difficult to feel, develop, offer, accept or maintain, than Love. And I have so desperately wanted to revel in it, certain that if only I “knew” Love, I’d forever be happy, content and serene every moment, never tragedy’s victim.
Karen also says, “Of course, the irony is the harder we look for Love, the more blurred our vision. Only when we become quiet and trust that Love is our birthright do we discover its friendship has enfolded us”.
Karen Casey’s book, Worthy of Love, Meditations on Loving Ourselves and Others was a gift to me I will always treasure. I offer this blog as a gift to you, on Love, and in Love.
What would it feel like to Love yourself unconditionally and be comfortable in your skin with no need to do any number of the things we can come up with to NOT feel our feelings?
- Check our email
- Grab a snack
- Find a project
- Phone a friend
- Workout
One thing that can be an obstacle to self-love and very self-damaging is Self-Criticism. The inner critic is often experienced as negative thoughts about our behaviors or ourselves. We think being extra hard on ourselves will somehow motivate us to change.
- Don’t ask for any help
- Struggle with body image
- Play the blame game
- Don’t forgive, keep punishing
- Get down on yourself
- Difficult decision making
- Comparing ourselves to others
- Thinking I’m Never enough
- Overanalyzing
- Worry/Fear
We work so hard to be more, better, fixed, but perhaps that is the problem, and the simple solution is accepting we don’t need to be fixed.
It is only when we accept ourselves for who and what we are, and no longer require the acceptance and approval of others, we start to achieve our inner sense of peace and security.
Self-Compassion and kindness offer us encouragement, support, and the Love we long for. It aligns us with what we truly want and desire.
- Acceptance
- Trust
- No judging, blaming or criticizing
- Forgiveness
- Peace of I’m enough
- Faith Hope and Love
Both self-criticism and self-compassion are ways we protect ourselves. They can be healthy ways to achieve personal growth; however, self-criticism can also be a barrier to our peace of mind.
Here are 3 Powerful Ways to Promote Self-Love and Awareness
- MINDFULNESS-maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, through a gentle, nurturing lens. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts turn inward into what we are sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future.
- JOURNALING-a way to explore our emotions, channel our feelings, and explore outcomes. Writing is a vehicle that allows us to slow down and pay attention to everything that is going on in our lives. One beneficial exercise is journaling your self-critical thought paired with a self-compassionate response. Give it a try.
- HAVING A MANTRA/S-a mantra is a sacred utterance, a word, sound, or phrase repeated to aid in your concentration. It is believed to have spiritual and psychological power. It is said to be a tool of thought, a way to focus the mind. Just for fun, why not try Mirror Mantra’s with Crayola ® washable makers.
SELF-Acceptance ask much of us, but I promise the journey and reward are worth it
SELF-Compassion and kindness are powerful skills we can lean into more deeply each and every day to support ourselves.
SELF-Love is a process, a practice for all our lives. The goal is to grow in it.
No matter where you are on the journey, the most important thing we can do is to be ourselves, love ourselves, and celebrate our unique and miraculous authenticity. Then, we can contribute to the ripple effect of LOVE throughout this world.
Remember Always, or remind yourself with a quick snap of the fingers,
YOU ARE WORTHY!
YOU ARE A MIRACLE!
YOU ARE AMAZING!
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others,
Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others approval
Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts her.
~Lao Tzu
About today’s author: Kat Middleton is an Empowerment Coach who is passionate about her work and advocates for authentic wholehearted living both personally and professionally. She is a Certified Professional Coach and Occupational Therapy Practitioner who loves working with people holistically; helping others to help themselves see things through new filters. Kat joined the Wholistic Woman community in September of 2017. She is very excited to learn, grow, and have much fun with this AMAZING group of women. Kat is available for private one-on-one coaching as well as group workshops, seminars, and speaking events.
