Research on the behavior of change or taking action show that fear is a stronger motivator than the sense of accomplishment. Now don’t get me wrong there are individuals who are strongly motivated by achievement of goals and take action readily with no or little fear of failure. If you are like most; me included; as the research states, when fear stands in the way of our intentions or desires, we resist moving forward and sometimes even give up on the very idea of doing the things we desire most. This is the old “fight or flight” syndrome we were designed with to protect us from wild animals and threats to our life. It seems the determining factor is how BIG is our FEAR and what direction we run! Does it move us toward or away from our goals or desires? Do we need to have a BIG bear chasing us to get us moving toward our goals?
To give an example; As a Registered Dietitian, I have observed in my years of practice, individuals who are frequently educated on the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle for years with little change in behavior. The lack of change typically is due to the change seeming too complicated and may have caused tension within their relationships; thus, the fear of failure or rejection appearing very BIG. Once these same individuals were faced with an acute illness or disease as a consequence of their unhealthy lifestyle, behavior change occurred immediately for fear of the BIG realistic possibility of permanent debilitation or death. So is fear a bad thing? Not necessarily, but when perceived BIGGER than it really is, it can get in our way of living our best life! I love this acronym of FEAR: False Events Appearing Real.
So is there anything we can do when our fear is keeping us stuck from doing the very thing we want or desire; is the fear BIG enough to keep us from moving forward but not BIG enough to motivate the action we want? It seems when no fear or little fear exists in the face of our desires, action is effortless; such as going on vacation, or dinner with friends. How can we STOP FEAR or shrink it from appearing too BIG and standing in our way?
From my own experience, when I focused on the situation I wanted to change it seemed my fear grew BIGGER and my action was paralyzed. As I look back it seems my biggest successes of change happened when I stopped focusing on the situation and/or behaviors that needed changed and instead turned my focus to the One leading me to change. The One leading me was much BIGGER than the situation and the associated fears. The One leading me is God, for I trust He wants for me a good life. As I changed my focus to God, the fears became smaller and sometimes non-existent for I knew God was BIGGER than any situation or fear and promised to lead me to a fuller, better life in this one and the next (Jeremiah 29:11)!
Here are just a few situations from my own experiences where changing my focus made all the difference in what or who was BIGGER; Fear or God.
First, when I finally stopped focusing on how much of a failure I was in eating right and exercising consistently to maintain a healthy weight, and turned my focus on the amazing vessel: the body, God created and wanted to reveal the beauty He created within me, did my choices change and make living a healthy lifestyle effortless and even joyful!
Second, when I finally moved my focus from the fear of rejection from women due to the past hurt from childhood and focused on God’s desire for fellowship to glorify Him, did I find myself encircled by genuine friends that I can trust and truly believe they fully accept and love me in all my quirkiness! The Wholistic Woman Community is a great example of how this circle of friends and acquaintances of genuine acceptance continues to grow. (If the feeling of genuine acceptance is something you want in your life, come join the community!)
And third, it was not until I moved my focus from how BIG and hard growing my ATP business was, believing I was not enough to do it one my own, and focused instead on God, that if ATP was His will for my life, He would grow it and equip me with the help I needed did I see the number of clients increase and I found my passion renewed in serving those who come.
Who is BIGGER in your situations? I encourage you to change your FOCUS and see the reality; that fear is really SMALL next to a BIG GOD!
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
~ Deuteronomy 31:6
I invite you to join the Wholistic Women Community for our Zip, Swing, and Soar Event on July 23rd. It will be a fun filled, “Courage” challenging event as we discuss and actually face our fears. Come and be inspired to shrink fear not only as we Zip, Swing, and Soar through the air, but gain strategies to create BIG Courage a reality in any situation. Click here for more information and to register. Hope to see you there!