Have you ever lost something? Perhaps, like me, you’ve experienced misplacing your keys or cell phone and felt the mild panic that arises as you mentally and physically retrace your steps to try and find them. It is also possible to lose less tangible things like your cool, your confidence, your perspective, or even your purpose or your hope, Sometimes you may not even realize that you’ve lost something important.  The awareness can dawn slowly,or at other times in a pivotal moment of insight.

We humans can become physically lost as well. For those of us who are geographically challenged, we can become disoriented, confused, and unsure of how to get where we want to go. Not only can this happen with physical orientation, but we can also get off-track in our careers or our life plan. Questions such as, “How did I get here?” and “Is this all there is?” can arise when we pause to observe where we’ve ended up in our lives.

Collectively, many of us know what it’s like to lose what’s important to us…as well as what it’s like to be lost ourselves. We know what that anxiety (perhaps downright panic) feels like when we realize something important is missing. As a professional coach, I have had the opportunity to witness the discomfort of those who are searching for something, as well as the relief and joy they experience when they get back on track and begin to find what they need. In my work with many clients I have found five steps that move searchers through a Lost and Found Process of self-discovery.

1. Realize something is missing – As mentioned previously, whether awareness dawns slowly or in an intense moment of insight, this initial step is when we realize that there is a gap or a hole that needs to be filled. Recognizing and admitting this need sets us up for the second step.
2. Be willing to search – Just as we must look for our keys to get where we want to go, so we must also search for the less tangible things that are missing. Our level of discomfort in step one will determine if we search half-heartedly or jump in with both feet to find what is missing.
3. Be open to guidance – While it’s crucial to take responsibility for your own search, it’s also important to remember that you can learn from other peoples’ experiences. Being open and letting others know what we are looking for can be a humbling occurrence which may stir up feelings of vulnerability. Yet when we do so, we create opportunities to integrate the wisdom of others in our search and to develop a supportive team.
4. Wait for it– For those of us who are doers and enjoy being active,this step may be the most difficult. There are times, however, when we have done all that we can to find what we need and we simply have to wait for it to appear. Be patient and trust that it will come at just the right time. And when what we are seeking emerges, be sure that you don’t overlook the last step.
5. Celebrate – When we have found what we are looking for, in this key step we take time to honor our discovery in some fashion. Instinctively, many of us just keep going…..searching for the next thing. But it is important to pause and acknowledge that we now have what we need, that a gap has been filled in our lives, and to let others know about it. We now join the ranks of those who are guides for others who may be searching for the same thing. Rejoice and receive it fully. Then share your unique understanding to offer your inspiration and hope to those who are seeking it.

This is a process for self-discovery…one that will take us from a place of need to a place of fullness. In my book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, I share my story of searching and finding what I needed, while encouraging readers to do the same. To that end, each chapter includes reflection questions for contemplation, journaling, or discussion; providing readers the opportunity to develop their own story as they read mine.

As I celebrate the completion of my book I am practicing step five in two significant ways.

The first is a soft launch of the book at the Wholistic Woman Spring Retreat in Thurmont, MD on March 22^nd from 8:00AM– 5:00PM. In this beautiful mountain lodge setting, women will explore their own lost and found stories and share what strengthens them in the face of adversity. Sharing what we have found creates a well of wisdom from which we can all draw strength. Breakout sessions will focus on developing your own definition of self-care and faith. Attendees will clarify what they put their faith in and how to move gracefully in the all too common dance between fear/doubt and trust/faith. This reflective and restorative retreat prepares women to return to their lives ready for give more fully to their families, careers, or whatever they feel passionate about. For more details or to register for this first and very special retreat based on Lost and Found, click here.

The second celebration will be the official launch of Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith on April 4^th in Frederick, Md., from 6:00–8:30 PM at Unique Optique, 9 W. Patrick Street. You are warmly invited to attend this book signing event to celebrate with me.  For details, click here.

Today’s author: Carol deLaski is an author, speaker, and professional coach who engages individuals and businesses in positive growth. Write to her at [email protected]

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