Who are the people who have had the most positive impact on your life? If you’re like me you may not consider this question very often. Taking people for granted and forgetting to appreciate all that’s been given and modeled for us is common in our busy lives.

I recently had the opportunity to treasure the final days of my beloved Uncle Don.  His struggling health began a final decline after he turned 80 last month and he entered into four weeks of hospice care.  Fortunately our large extended family, and a few close friends, enjoyed a poignantly sweet birthday party with him in late January. Each of us had the opportunity to tell him what he meant to us, laugh with him, and treasure our lifelong loving relationships with him.

Now we’ve just completed a different celebration of his life as we embrace the transition he’s made to the next world. Even though I don’t know what that is exactly, I trust he’s well there. Released from a withered body, I believe his spirit lives on. I feel the love and essence of him in my heart and know that he’s only gone in the physical sense. In the days leading to his memorial service I reflected on his character and what he meant to me. I realized he is one of the people who have had a great impact on my life.

As I gazed at the hundreds of people who attended his memorial service I realized how many others were impacted by him as well. We shared many stories and memories reflecting on the achievements and legacy of Donald de Laski.  One of my favorite reflections, by Alan Merten, president of George Mason University, summarized four distinct steps that he saw my uncle live by:

Think. Use your mind to consider what impact you want to have and create a solid plan.

Ask and Listen. Talk to people and listen deeply, using your heart and soul to discern the need. Then ask God (or your Angels, as my uncle would say) for guidance; listen and trust their nudges and your inner knowing.

Do. When clarity comes trust that knowing and act. Use your physical and material resources to be of service to others and create impact. Give generously of your resources to benefit those in need.

Celebrate. When all is said and done, be sure to treasure the impact and celebrate the achievement. Life is meant to be enjoyed. If you aren’t going to do the fourth, don’t bother with the other three!

Merten paraphrased a favorite quote by E.B. White to summarize my uncle’s living.

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to have a hell of a good time. This makes it hard to plan the day.

I believe the challenge is to achieve both. Having a positive impact on others and passionately enjoying the process is something I strive to achieve. I thank Uncle Don for the role model he’s been and feel inspired to follow in his footsteps. I take the challenge.

Today’s author: Carol Hayes, [email protected] or 301-371-7460. Through her company, Clear Choices Coaching, Carol shares her expertise and skill fostering growth in people of all ages. She is especially energized when her coaching helps people experience “breakthrough” moments where they push through their personal edge and grow more fully into the people they want to be. Carol’s certification as a Life and Energy Leadership coach comes from The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation. She is also a dynamic speaker and workshop leader who facilitates energizing connections with groups of all sizes.

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