by Carol deLaski | Jan 3, 2018 | Carol deLaski, Personal Development
Do you like to set New Year Resolutions?
If your answer is no, then you’re like many who find them frustrating, unfulfilling, and even frightening.
Would you like a fresh approach to developing yourself this year?
In my coaching practice, and the Wholistic Woman Community, I use a theme word for the year to guide personal and professional growth. I highly recommend the One Word process if you’re looking for new perspectives about your work, or life overall.
The three-step process outlined in the book One Word to Change Your Life tells us how to receive a word that God, Spirit, The Universe (or whatever you call that which is bigger than us) intends for our development this year. The process is simple, yet important to follow because this is not about picking any old good word. It’s about receiving the word that is meant to guide and teach you. Here’s how it works:
- Look within. Set aside time to be quiet and ask yourself these powerful questions:
What do I need…not what do I want, but what do I truly need?
What’s in my way…what’s blocking me?
What needs to go…what do I need to release to move forward?
- Look up. Prayerfully ask, what do you (God/Spirit/Universe) want to do in me and through me? Be open and pay attention for the answer. The word that surfaces may not be what you expect. In fact, your mind may at first reject the word provided, but if your heart and soul know that it is your word, then stick with it. Even if the word doesn’t make sense initially, trust the process and be curious to see what lessons it may teach you.
- Look out. Live with your word for the entire year. It’s important to stick with it because there will be insights for you through both the high and low points of your year. It helps to share your word with others who will support you as you stretch and grow.
Over the past five years, each of my theme words have taught me surprising lessons.
My first word was BELIEVE. Initially, it very easy to identify all that I believed in…faith, love, honesty, kindness…the list went on and on. Midway through the year, however, I started to see when belief was missing; times when I felt weak, vulnerable, and insecure. It was uncomfortable to realize the person I didn’t fully believe in was me. My word helped me recognize how limiting self-doubt can be. I searched for an antidote and found it in faith. When I feel weak and unable to go on, I have seen God provide exactly the people and resources that I need. I learned that the more I look for divine provision, the more often I see it. This theme word helped me to better understand my surface, as well as my deeper, beliefs.
The next year my word was FOUND. This word helped me identify the actions, solutions, thoughts, and approaches that work best for me, and to release those that do not. I learned how to more consistently rely on what I find to be true. I trust my intuition more, spend less time comparing myself to others and feeling lost. I know where the source of my inner strength lies and encourage others to find their own resilience through my coaching and book, Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith. FOUND was an especially relevant word for me as I published the book in 2014.
In 2015 my word was HEAR. Initially I thought this word was a bit odd and uninspiring. Nonetheless, I trusted the process, stuck with it, and learned from it. I paid more attention to the messages that I allow myself to hear from others…and from my own self-talk. I started to consciously block harmful or negative messages and tried to open my ears to listen for positive and/or divine messages. Interestingly, I heard many of those messages from family, friends, clients, and other people who may or may not have known they were a conduit…giving me exactly what I needed to hear on any given day.
In 2016 my word was ASK. I’m a recovering independent woman who is learning the value of being interdependent. Having been a single mom for many years I developed the tendency to be self-sufficient and ‘just do it myself.’ It’s hard for me to ask for help. This one word reminded me to practice asking for what I need. In addition to improving that skill, I surprisingly discovered related benefits in learning how to wait and receive.
This past year my word has been JOY. You might think that with the name Carol, which means song of joy, that this word would be easy. It’s a feel-good word but I must admit that I’ve had challenges with it. Initially, I felt nervous about it because of an internal expectation to always be joyful. I knew that would be impossible and felt that this word was lofty and beyond my reach. However, it has taught me many lessons.
As I helped my 87-year-old mother downsize for a move, we used the powerful question, does it bring you joy? from the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up to help us decide what to keep and what to bless and release. After 8 weeks of asking that question with Mom, I noticed myself asking it in other areas of my life as well. I started to pay more attention to what brings me joy. This focus helped to deepen my personal understanding of the difference between happiness and joy.
For me, joy often slips into my heart unexpectedly and it radiates a unique, glowing, energy. It rises to my face in a smile or perhaps an outright laugh. It’s a byproduct of what I’m doing; one of the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). In other words, it flourishes when I am grounded. As I suspected at the start of the year, I can’t make joy happen on cue. However, I’ve learned that it appears more frequently when I’m in healthy relationships…with God, myself, and others. Joy occurs when I connect deeply with those I care about whether it’s through burst-out-loud laughter or in quiet moments of the heart. I’m learning to recognize and savor it more. Like many others, I’ve experienced unexpected challenges this year. A frightening prognosis for a beloved brother-in-law has sent my extended family reeling. Even on this hard, unwanted, journey I search for, and find, joy-filled moments of deep connection and love and for that I am grateful.
As the new year begins, I often resist letting go of the word from the previous year. I need to remind myself that each word I’ve had becomes a part of who I am. The habit of using them to gain perspective and a sense of direction continues long after the year is over. Each word continues to build within me and contributes to my on-going development.
As 2018 begins, I have moved through the process to discover my next theme word. This year I know that God has given me the word BELOVED and I’m curious to see what I will learn from it.
If you would like to learn more about The One Word Process, I suggest that you read the short book One Word to Change Your Life by Gordon, Britton, and Page. Once you’ve received your Word, be sure to share it with others to form your stretch team which will support you with this tool throughout the year.
Would you like to be part of a larger Stretch Team?
If so, I warmly invite you to join the Wholistic Woman One Word Evening Retreat on January 31st from 5:30-7:30 pm. We will kick off the 2018 Evening Retreat program series with a launch party where you will learn about the One Word process and hear inspiring stories of the impact this powerful tool has had on other women.
If you’re familiar with this tool and already have a Word for 2018, be sure to bring it with you…or bring whatever words you may be considering.
If this is a new process to you, I invite you to simply attend and learn more about it.
In addition, you will learn a bit about the evening retreat programs for 2018. We hope that you will join us for all our evening retreats to learn, grow, and stay connected with your One Word Stretch Team throughout the year.
In this community of women-on-the-grow know that you are accepted for who you are now while we provide you with tools and strategies to improve…and be more fully you! We believe that we are each unique and a wonderful work-in-progress. The Wholistic Coaches and I are honored to support you in becoming more you in this fresh new year full of possibilities.
May this be a great year to Be MORE You!
Warmly,
Carol
P.S. If you plan to attend many of the Wholistic Woman Evening Retreats this year, we suggest that you become a member to receive discounts on every event. Click here to learn more and become a member.
Today’s author: Carol deLaski, PCC, is a strengths-based executive coach who guides individuals and businesses to be their best. For more information about her coaching services, and her book Lost and Found: Discovering Strength in Love and Faith, visit www.caroldelaski.com or email her at [email protected]
by Carol deLaski | Dec 22, 2017 | Holidays, Kim Wilson, Self-Care
Holiday cheer and this time of the year is often filled with celebration, friends, family and togetherness. It’s also filled with long “to-do” lists, stress, toxicity and unhealthy food. Instead of adding additional physical and emotional stress to your plate, try some of these tips for a happier and healthier holiday season.
Give Yourself the Gift of Balance
What I’m proposing is a complete mindset shift around how you honor your body and your self-care needs during the holiday season. This is a time for giving, so how about you give yourself a gift that’s going to nourish you beyond the 10-minute sugar rush of that wretchedly unhealthy fruit cake your aunt likes to make.
Be mindful and intentional with your food choices
There is nothing wrong with enjoying good food during the holiday season. You will have plenty of opportunities between the parties, work events and gatherings with friends and family. With that being said, this should not be an opportunity to sabotage your goals and health between now and the New Year. If you find yourself grabbing junk food or guzzling down extra alcohol, ask yourself how you’re feeling. Are you stressed? Depressed? Anxious? Emotions play a huge role in our food (and alcohol) choices. Being in tune with your mindset, feelings, and intentions will play a large part in your choices.
If you know you have an upcoming event, make sure you eat something healthy and satisfying before you head out. While at your event or party, enjoy a little bit of something you’re craving or wanting to try and fill the rest of your plate with lean protein and veggies. You don’t have to feel deprived this holiday season, but don’t overdo it either.
Stay Active
Exercise is very important during the holiday season. Have you heard “endorphins make you happy?” It’s true! Not only is it important to get that booty moving when it’s cold outside (and year round), but it helps with your mood too! This is a great time to join a gym, start a new fitness class, or find some new gal pals for accountability. Are you more of the “outdoorsy” type? Grab your skis or ice skates and bundle up for a fun event. Find what makes you happy and get others involved. Whatever you choose, keep it moving!
Find Time for Rest
Yes, exercise is important but so is rest! Especially during the busy holiday season. Your body needs it!!! Not only will you feel more refreshed, but it will help with your stress levels and keep you from making poor choices. If you’re finding it difficult to manage a rest and sleep schedule, you may need to make some changes in your routine. Sleep should be a priority; especially this time of the year. Try going to bed and waking up around the same time. Limit your television and technology viewing a few hours before bed. Relax in a hot bath with some lavender and other oils. Grabbing a good book and cup of tea helps in the evening too. Again, find what works for you and make it a priority. Rest is not something that should be negotiable any time of year.
Bump Up the Self Care
If you’re one of my clients or follow me on social media, you know how much I stress Self Care. This is something I had to learn the hard way but it’s something I make a priority in my own lifestyle. Why? Because it’s SO important! Especially this time of the year!
Women are the first ones to put themselves last! If you resonate with this statement, then you may need to ask yourself how much you’re adding self care into your lifestyle. A hot epsom salt bath, massage, yoga class or new outfit can make a huge difference. You’re not being selfish! You’re taking care of you and in turn, will benefit so many around you. When the holiday season is stressful and you’re feeling run down, bump up the self care. It’s good for the body and mind!
Set Boundaries with Your Family
Talk to your family and explain that you’ll be doing things differently this year. Share with them that just because it’s the holidays, it doesn’t mean you’re going to settle for nutritionally deprived foods that take more than they give your body. Explain that you’ll be creating some healthy delicious options and offer to share with them – it is the holidays, after all!
Beware of Toxic People
The holidays can bring upon stress when it comes to gatherings with friends and family. We often hear about “tolerating” someone for an event or evening. You may feel uncomfortable being around a group of friends or family members. Whatever the case, choose wisely. Ask yourself if the stress, anxiety and frustration is worth it. I am not saying to isolate yourself from your family and friends, but choose what makes you happy and feel healthy. Maintaining distance and setting limitations may better serve you. You should surround yourself with those who light you up and make you happy.
Exercise Your Creativity in the Kitchen
Try new and exciting recipes. Splurge and buy expensive superfoods, interesting fresh fruits and vegetables that you don’t always get, nuts and seeds, and truffled extra-virgin olive oil. I’ve become a huge fan of specialty oils and balsamic vinegar. I love the incredible flavors and I enjoy cooking more when I use specialty ingredients.
Healthy food can be totally gourmet and special too. Make your own homemade chocolate with mint leaves and stevia for sweetness. Adorn your salads with pomegranates and walnuts. Go out of your comfort zone and see what healthy meals you can whip up with some new ingredients.
If you’re looking for a SWEET and healthier treat, I welcome you to check out my favorite recipe to share with friends and family during the holidays. Not only is Dark Chocolate Coconut and Cranberry Bark super easy to make but it’s enjoyed by many! It stores well, looks adorable in a treat bag, and is enjoyed just as much when frozen or refrigerated.
I hope you found some value in these tips. Even though they are all important, incorporating a few of them can make a huge difference in your holiday season. This time of the year passes so quickly, so I encourage you to make it a magical, happy time.
Today’s author: Kim Wilson is a Certified Holistic Health Coach (CHC) and owns her own business, Kim Wilson, LLC, which specializes in empowering and educating women to get to the root of what’s going on with their own unique, individual body. She works with women one-on-one and coaches through online groups and programs. Learn more about Kim at her website www.kimwilson.me, from her Facebook page, or find her on Instagram.
by Carol deLaski | Dec 8, 2017 | Holidays
We’ve gathered 6 tips from your coaches at Wholistic Woman to reduce holiday stress! We hope you can use them to be your best YOU this holiday season and enjoy the holidays with friends and family rather than suffer from stress or anxiety.
These stress-reducing tips are meaningful for men and women alike:
- Be Curious – Stress can be cumulative; often during this time of year we may be so busy that we don’t feel it building. When tension mounts, turn to wonder. Pause and ask yourself, I wonder what’s really bothering me today? By taking a few minutes to check-in and notice the source of your stress you will gain the necessary insight to take action. Then take one small step to be kind to yourself and alleviate it. ~ Carol deLaski
- Be Grateful – Turn your stress around by re-framing it with gratitude. When you notice a stressor that consumes your energy, try to think of something within that situation for which you can be grateful. For example: My partner and I are having difficulties, at the moment, and are fighting. I am grateful that I have a best freiend to share my feeling with today. ~ Kat Middleton
- Be Proactive – Set the tone of each day by taking care of yourself first thing in teh morning with rituals and routines like exercise, meditation, and positive affirmations. ~ Casey Clark
- Be Unique – Get creative with what you have; take the pressure off yourself and become a leader looking within and creating gifts that are unique and environmentally friendly by using natural resources. ~ Elisabeth Vismans
- Be Healthy – In addition to times of celebration with friends and family, the holidays can also be filled with long to-do lists and unhealthy eating. During this time, be mindful of making food choices in moderation, staying active, relaxing, and avoiding toxic people. Be intentional about your health and set boundaries that support your well-being. ~ Kim Wilson
- Be Generous – The holidays can be expensive, and we are often short on time during this busy season. Consider giving the gift of YOU rather than a material gift to eliminate some of that holiday stress. You can save money while giving someone a meaningful gift of your service and time after the holidays. For example, give the gift of running errands for an elderly family member or neighbor during the winter months. ~ Donna Kettell
- Be the best YOU this holiday season and stay stress-free!
Be the best YOU this holiday season as you minimize stress and seek JOY!
Happy holidays from your Wholistic Woman coaches!
by Carol deLaski | Dec 1, 2017 | Donna Kettell, Holidays
The holidays are here and they can bring lots of fun with family and friends, perhaps baking your favorite Christmas cookies, or decorating a beautiful tree!
At the same time, the holidays can sometimes be stressful, expensive, and leave you feeling very short on time to take care of yourself. I might have just the remedy this year. Consider the idea of giving the gift of YOU rather than a material gift. This can really be an especially nice idea when the whole family or several friends join in.
What’s the benefit of doing this? Well, there are several – you can save some money by giving someone the gift of service and your time. And you can save some time over the holiday season when your gift is “delivered” in 2018! Remember, you will have more available time after the holidays are over. Last but not least, you can give a unique gift, one that only you could ever give — YOU! Give your time to a family member or friend in a way that’s uniquely meaningful for them.
Here are a just few ideas:
- Be the gift of helpfulness to your elderly grandmother by offering to do her grocery shopping or other errands for the winter months.
- Give the gift of a sanity break to your wonderful neighbors by offering to babysit for their small children so they can go out to dinner on their own.
- Give your sweet parents a handmade gift certificate good for one home cooked meal at your home once a week for the year, so you can spend more time with them.
- Offer to clean out your sister’s closet for her, since you are good at that and she desperately wants the help!
- Offer to sit with a friend as they tackle a task they are dreading – just the company can make the task less daunting!
- Tell a neighbor that your gift to them is to shovel all of their snow during January, February, and March.
- Offer your busy brother and his wife the gift of a much-needed break by driving their kids to all of their sports practices for a month.
- Tell your good friend who just lost her job that you’ll create a fabulous new résumé with her and show her how to create a LinkedIn profile.
The key ingredient in this process is to really imagine what your gift recipient would wish for that would add more joy, relaxation, or just a great big smile on their face. Your gift will leave the recipient knowing that you really thought about them and what they truly needed in their life right now. When your gift is received, your kindness will be remembered far longer than any material gift you might have given.
There are so many fun possibilities, and none of them cost you any time or money over the holidays. You save money, take time to do something nice for others when you have more available time, and wind up feeling pretty blessed in the process!
Happy holidays everyone! Enjoy the season of giving YOU!
Today’s blog was written by WWR Partner Coach, Donna Kettell. Donna is a certified professional coach (CPC) and a master practitioner in energy leadership (ELI-MP). Her certifications were earned through The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
