Five Different Ways to Have a Successful Vacation
Successful vacations, in many ways, are similar to successful holiday experiences. As we enter into 2016’s holiday season, we encourage you to take the time to think about what types of experiences you would like to have this year.
This week’s blog by WWR member, Linda Norris-Waldt gives you her take on 5 different ways to have a successful vacation. You just might be able to use some of these ideas to enhance your holiday experiences. Enjoy!
I’ve been vacationing for more than 50 years–both the kinds of vacations where I was “taken along” as a child, and many, many vacations that I have planned as an adult. Like major family holidays, vacations can carry lots of baggage with them–both literally and figuratively. The expectations we have of them are often unrealistic; the disappointment we feel when a vacation doesn’t “relax us” can leave us feeling deflated and even with a curious sense of wasted money and time.
I’ve let that happen to myself too many times, and on a recent trip away–where things didn’t turn out the way we had hoped with incessant rain at the beach, in my middle-aged wisdom I made a conscious decision to turn the tables on disappointment. What I got was a rest–which was just what I needed. After all, vacation is, from the Latin “freedom from occupation”.
Take a look at these vacation models and see if your next vacation fits. But wait till it’s over–you never know what’s in store for you if you keep an open mind!
A Change of Mindset. This kind of vacation can be accomplished in a variety of ways, but the underlying theme is, put aside the YOU who left home and, almost like an alter ego, embrace new things. (Remember the Seinfeld episode in which George does the complete opposite of normal?) Foods, sites, adventures, people, culture and countries….these are all options that help you delve into your deepest self and notice whether you’ve been missing an element of who you are. Warning: this type of vacation is hard to do from the comfort of home!
Release of Expectations. After all these years of vacationing, I finally experienced this kind of true peace only recently. We were expecting sun-drenched fall days on a sandy warm beach only to be drenched by days of rain. Maybe you were expecting a certain port of call that was, well, called off. There are many ways that we trap ourselves by idealizing a vacation. Without creatively embracing the new vision, we miss opportunities for a different kind of refreshment. For us, three days of heavy rains turn into sighting of shorebirds unknown to those parts who were blown in by the storm, and a bike trip during a few-hours break from the rain on a windswept, magical storm-tossed marshland park.
A Feast of People. We’ve all had those vacations; the beachhouse bacchanalias of our youth, or the big extended family trips with cousins in every square foot of sleep space. Or, a cruise filled with meeting new people, or a group destination tour. These experiences can be cherished for not only a chance of better knowing the people dear to you, but of sifting through varying human natures to learn more about yourself. (This attitude can be especially helpful when putting a group of people together causes conflicts that must be endured, at least until the vacation ends!) You can come away from a vacation like this with a completely different outlook on your life, your work, and the people you love.
A Solo Journey. Most of us don’t make many of these, but everyone should be tuned in to the need at some point in your life when you’re ready. You can make it an organized retreat with structured meditation, hiking or activities with people you don’t know, or simply create your favorite solo experience, camping, a hotel or B& B, or a house-sitting for a friend. These solo trips can be disconcerting for those of us used to always having people around, but once you tune into yourself, you will want to have paper, journals, computer, paint brush or paints–whatever is the best way to express yourself. Once you settle into solitude, your inner self will be itching to come out.
Stay Put and Rest. There are times your body tells you its simply needs to BE. These vacations can be helpful for recovering from family crises, work overload, health issues — there are many reasons we need to learn to be still. Do not be tempted to do things for the sake of “being on vacation” when your soul tells you, it needs to be quiet. Walk quietly, sleep, read, meditate. It will refresh you in ways you never dreamed.
Today’s guest blogger, Linda Norris-Waldt is a writer, journalist and sustainability advocate who is a committed member of the Wholistic Woman community and a believer in self reflection and life coaching. Her business is NW Communications.
Take Five
The magic number 5.
When you get the news that you have cancer, the number you strive for is five! I’m happy to say that this is my fifth year as a cancer survivor. To be honest, it has felt a little different…a time to pause and reflect on this stage of my life…where it all began and why celebration is key.
I recently held my sixth ‘Dress for a Cure’ fashion show which raises money for FORCE – Facing our Risk of Cancer Empowered. I founded ‘Dress for a Cure’ a year prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer because my mother was battling ovarian cancer. My mom and I were prepared since we both had learned we were BRCA1 positive (breast cancer positive). BRCA1 is the most common gene associated with breast and ovarian cancer.
When something big happens, whether it’s positive or not-so-positive, my approach is to look for a way to see it as an opportunity. In the past, my mother used to say “it is what it is” and she meant it in a positive way, like…ok, what’s next, and that helps me along the way. I love how she embraced life.
This year, more than any other, I paused and reflected on the past five years as a cancer survivor. These are the TAKE 5 thoughts that have grounded me through it all:
1 – Heritage – remembering the past is special and the stories are the best part. Heritage…is what it is. I have felt the need to slow down and simplify life more. My mother lived a simple, but filled life. I have been craving ‘what is’ and perhaps that explains why my One Word “roots” came into my life this year. I went back to Oklahoma to visit my mom’s farm and family so that I could focus on where her life began and explore what’s been passed onto me.
What stories do you often talk about that have shaped who you are?
2 – Team and Community– go hand in hand. I have learned you can’t do it alone and why would you want to? A team is there to celebrate and cheer you on or lift you up when you fall down. My team on surgery day was key and I will never forget how I felt before going into my 13 hour surgery and how I felt all the weeks after. My community is what keeps me going year after year and it has grown over the years.
Who is on your team, and in your community that lifts you up and celebrates life with you?
3 – Be (+) Positive – this is something you have control of. B(e) positive is not only my blood type, it’s also my mindset and top strength. It is what gets me through life’s ups and downs. This mindset has played a big part of my life journey towards healing and becoming healthier and happier. I guess you could say it’s in my blood.
How do you handle the ups and downs in your life?
4 – Boots – resemble strength to me. I have been embracing my brave-girl boots. We have heard the saying, “you are what you eat”… how about “you are what you wear”! Putting on my brave-girl boots over the past five years has helped me feel stronger. It’s also why my ‘Dress for a Cure’ event evolved to ‘Dress for a Cure: Give Cancer the Boot’. It’s why I called my trip to OK – Roots to Boots. I have made a strong connection – heritage to bravery.
What do you wear that makes you feel brave and strong?
5 – Celebration of Life – this is what life is about, in my opinion. As we go through life we look forward to celebrating milestones. I get to decide which milestones I celebrate. They can be simple and small…or big, like my five year survivor celebration.
How do you celebrate milestones, big and small?
Truthfully, we are all survivors in some way. I am a five year breast cancer survivor. I am also a survivor of many other things in life. I will continue to move forward and Take these 5 tips for myself.
How will you take them for you?
There is so much to be grateful for and to celebrate. I invite you to join the Wholistic Woman members and coaches at our annual Gratitude dinner on November 16 from 6-9 pm at Dutch’s Daughter. If you aren’t a member yet, you may join now for 2017 and attend this year’s gratitude dinner. Come appreciate and celebrate with us! Click here for details
Today’s author: Kelye Rouse Brown, CHA, CHT is a business owner, joint venture partner, HR expert, certified coach, and training professional. Her 3 components: Educate, Motivate, and Cultivate help her clients develop, spark action, and grow a successful career/business and life from the core. Kelye can be reached at 301-371-9300 or by visiting her website: krbtrainingsolutions.com
Goals vs. Intentions
I had always believed that setting goals was instrumental in staying on track and getting things done. Goals are always related to a future result. They helped in advancing my career, improving my relationships and especially in creating a life of financial well -being. To achieve a goal, we know we need to make specific, measurable steps towards a desired outcome.
Goals can be tricky, though. They are easily sidelined by everyday life. Goals, while moving us toward what we say we want, can take us out of the moment and create a feeling that what we have isn’t enough. A background feeling of unease can come over us if our goal-oriented life discounts our present moment. In short, while goals can move us forward, we can also feel victimized when we aren’t moving towards achieving the goal as expected.
I once set a lofty financial goal of having a certain amount of money in my savings account. I strategized, re-worked my budget and was determined to save as much money as I could. My focus was completely centered on a number. Over the next several months I experienced a few setbacks including an unexpected vehicle repair, and unforeseen medical expenses. Within a short amount of time I felt discouraged and demoralized. In this case, the future result that was opposite of my goal–I was exasperated. I almost decided that it would be easier to give up on the possibility that my future would include any version of financial security than to focus on such a goal.
Living your intentions, on the other hand, is much different than having a goal-oriented focus. Being intentional allows you to focus on how you want to be in the moment, independent of whether you are winning or losing. Allowing intentions to guide your moment to moment focus, means you are living your values and what matters most to you.
Focusing on our intentions does not mean we give up our goals or desire for achievement. By partnering goals with intentions we enjoy the journey as much as the destination! Here are three differences between goal setting and intentions:
- Goals are focused on the future. Intentions are in the present moment.
- Goals are a destination or specific achievement. Intentions are lived each day, independent of reaching the goal or destination.
- Goals are external achievements. Intentions are your inner-relationships with yourself and others.
Instead of setting a specific goal, had I set my intention regarding my savings account, I could have focused on feeling financially aware and empowered rather than frustrated and defeated. Even though several emergencies had taken actual dollars away from my goal, I could have focused on my intention of being empowered–I was able to pay those bills!
When our intentions are aligned with our goals we can experience a life of authenticity. What better gift than to spend our lives in being true to our core values and beliefs!
I am excited to share the power of intention at the “Be Intentional” Evening Retreat and hope you will join me there.
This will be an opportunity to shift your focus to what is possible when we connect with our inner values, allowing our intentions to be the guiding light to living in the moment.
Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s Author: Jane Helm is the Principal of Money Mentor Group. As a wealth coach, Jane combines decades of financial services experience with a degree in social work and psychology to bring positive financial change to her client’s lives. She is an Affiliate Coach with the Wholistic Woman Retreat group and co-founded the Bring Your Own Business Success networking group. Jane can be reached via email at [email protected]
The Happiness Experiment
This blog was originally published in 2001 but its words are timeless and timely with our ‘Be Happier’ event scheduled for Wednesday, April 27th. Enjoy and we hope to see you on Wednesday 🙂
“Happiness is not a destination. It is a way of life.”
A couple years ago, I bought a plaque with these words imprinted on it to remind myself and my family that happiness is a choice. When I read this quote it reminds me to look for happiness in the present, in where I am and what I’m doing right now. It reminds me to be cautious about thinking thoughts like, “When I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll be happy”, or “If only I could make more money, then I’ll be happier”. You see, I believe that happiness comes from the inside out, not the other way around. That it is a way of being. It is not dependent on how I look, or what I have. I believe happiness comes from knowing (and reminding myself when I forget) of my inherent self worth and practicing gratitude on a regular basis.
I have to admit that happiness comes relatively easy to me. I’ve always been the type of person to see the glass as half full, not half empty. One of my favorite books in elementary school was “Pollyanna”. My parents helped by raising me to believe that life is happening for me, NOT to me, and this core thought has allowed me to always look for the life lessons – even in the face of struggle or adversity, and then to practice gratitude for the lessons learned.
I know that not everyone is like me and that some of us struggle with finding happiness. What I’d like to suggest is that you stop looking for happiness and start creating it. What I am proposing is a Happiness Experiment. This experiment is being designed for everyone. There is no specific age, gender, socioeconomic status, or minimum current level of happiness necessary to be able to participate. My hypothesis is that by practicing 5 simple steps on a daily basis for one week, your happiness will increase by 20%.
Now I just need some volunteers…This is where you come in! 🙂 The first thing I need you to do is to rate your happiness on a scale of 0 to 10 with 0 representing no happiness and 10 representing complete happiness. Before you read any more, I need you to come up with your happiness rating, and if you are really gutsy, why don’t you post your starting point in the comments for this blog. 😉
OK, now that you have your number, here are the 5 steps, and what you’ll be committing to should you be willing to participate in my happiness experiment with me:
- Define what happiness means to you – On day one of The Happiness Experiment you will be taking the time to write down your own personal definition of happiness. You will be completing the statement, “Happiness is…” When you think of happiness, what words come to mind? Think of the last time you remember being happy, what did that feel like? Are there certain people, or certain types of people who trigger your happiness? What about certain places? What physical sensations do you experience when you are happy? Who are you being when you are happy? Maybe even look at it from the other side, when you are unhappy, what is missing from your experience that is fueling your unhappiness? Once you’ve written your definition, you will need to write it down and put it someplace where you can read at it at least once a day for the remainder of the week.
- Sing out loud – Pick a song, any song, channel your inner diva and use your big girl voice to belt it out! I know for some of you this is going to feel very uncomfortable at first, and that’s OK, but as Nike says, “Just Do It”! The details are not important. You can sing in the shower, in the car to your favorite song, with people watching, or in total privacy. Just sing!
- Dance – This is about moving your body in a fun, life affirming way. I suggest turning the music up, closing your eyes and letting the energy move you. Spinning also seems to work for me, but again, there is no “right” way to do this, so whatever feels right to you is right. Go with it!
(Note #2 and #3 can be combined) As an aside, if you are ever in Mt. Airy, MD and you see a 40 year old woman in a blue Hyundai Sonata belting out Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” while waving her arms in what may look like some sort of seizure, don’t worry! That’s me combining #2 and #3. - Intentionally smile at someone – Making a point to smile is such a simple thing to do, yet so many of us don’t take the time to do this on a regular basis. Who can you share a smile with? Maybe it’s a stranger you pass while walking down the street. Maybe it’s a coworker you see in the elevator each morning. Maybe it’s your child who is not used to seeing your face light up when they enter the room. Maybe it’s your spouse or significant other as they walk through the door after a long day at work. Maybe it’s you as you see yourself in the mirror brushing your teeth at the end of the day. There really is no excuse for not getting this one done.
- Practice gratitude – When you wake up each morning, I want you to ask yourself, “What am I most grateful for?” and write it down. As the day goes on, continue to look for things to be grateful for. As these new gratitudes arise ask yourself if this new gratitude surpasses the one you started your day off with. If it does, cross out your 1st one and replace it with your new one. Stick with this all day, so that by the time you go to bed, you will have the thing you were most grateful for today at the bottom of your list. Write this one down on a piece of paper by your bed, so that by the end of the week you’ll have a gratitude listed for each day of the experiment.
Are you in? Will you be part of my Happiness Experiment? What have you got to lose? The idea is to complete all 5 steps for 7 days in a row. Give yourself permission to be silly. This is meant to be fun!
At the end of your week with the Happiness Experiment, re-assess what number you give yourself on the happiness scale and let me know how it went. Did your number increase? If so, by how much? What step was the easiest for you? What step did you struggle with? Please share your comments, so I know whether my hypothesis proved to be true or false. I look forward to hearing from you! Laura
Want to join us Wednesday? Click here for details and registration information.
Today’s author: Laura Hall, CPC, CDWF: As a certified professional coach since 2009, Laura Hall, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator has been helping people just like you make changes in. As a mother of 2 girls, Laura has a special interest in coaching parents, so if you still have children living at home, ask Laura about her Wholehearted Parenting programs. Laura can be reached via email at [email protected] or feel free to visit her website HallCoaching.com